Florida Truck-Ornament Controversy

[shereads]

My tax dollars at work:

Legislator crusades to ban rude 'truck-nutz' from bumpers

TALLAHASSEE - Often seen dangling from the rear bumper of trucks hauling down the road, "truck-nutz" can elicit honks, laughs or just stares.

But they could soon net the driver a $60 fine.

Saying that many find the replicas of male genitalia to be offensive or obscene, Sen. Carey Baker, R-Eustis, is on a mission to get them banned from the road.

But that's offended some of his fellow senators, who say it would impede freedom of expression — and that law enforcement officers already have plenty to do.

"It's shocking we would be telling people that have metallic testicles on the bottom of their bumpers, 'Guess what? We've now determined it's obscene.' There's gotta be better things for us to be debating," said Senate Democratic Leader Steve Geller of Cooper City.

Among those who have had the auto ornaments is Sen. Jim King, R-Jacksonville. Decorated in the garnet and gold of his alma mater, Florida State University, they hung on the back of his Suburban until his wife, Linda, demanded they be removed. They now grace the wall of a warehouse.

Baker made clear his proposal would not affect the decal that shows a "little boy doing bad things to other vehicles. That's not my issue. My bill refers to a reproduction of reproductive glands. So, if it doesn't show the glands, it isn't covered. And the little boy decals don't show the glands."

{My boldface - sr}

The provision was tucked into a transportation package that would ban drag racing and allow drivers to use HOV lanes whenever they want, regardless of how many passengers they have, if they are driving hybrid, low-emission or energy-efficient vehicles.

 

[shereads]

It's not just Florida. That's a relief, I guess.

Fake Private Parts Are No Joke, Myers Says

Delegate Wants to Ban Vehicle Displays of Plastic Genitals
By Lisa Rein
Washington Post Staff Writer
Friday, February 23, 2007

As the General Assembly debates global warming and the death penalty, Maryland Del. LeRoy E. Myers Jr. (R-Washington) has something else on his mind: the outsized plastic testicles that truckers dangle from the trailer hitches of their pickups.

To some truckers, they are manly expressions of rural chic. But Myers, who says his Western Maryland district is brimming with giant fakes on the roadways, calls them vulgar and immoral -- and filed legislation this week to outlaw them.

"People are making a joke out of it," Myers said yesterday. "But I think it's a pretty serious problem. You have body parts hanging from the hitches of cars. We've crossed a line."

His bill would prohibit motorists from displaying anything resembling or depicting "anatomically correct" or "less than completely and opaquely covered" human or animal genitals, human buttocks or female breasts. The offense would carry a penalty.

A hunter could still throw a freshly killed and uncovered deer in the back of his pickup, though, because the deer's body parts would be real, Myers said.

Myers, 56, said he's trying to match the standards of Gov. Martin O'Malley (D), who has pledged to clean up the Chesapeake Bay. "We have a governor whose agenda is, 'Let's make us the best,' " the delegate said. "So let's clean up what our children are seeing on our roads."

Myers, a general contractor with four grown children, represents Washington and Alleghany counties in Maryland's most rural corner. He said he acted at the request of a constituent who was distressed by what he saw as he drove down a highway.

Since Myers submitted the bill Tuesday, it has been the brunt of jokes from radio and TV interviewers. "But my office has gotten 100 phone calls from grateful parents," he said.

Civil libertarians say the bill is misplaced. "The solution to speech we don't like is more speech," said Meredith Curtis of the Maryland American Civil Liberties Union. A sticker of the Venus de Milo statue would be illegal if the legislation passes, she said.

Myers's fellow lawmakers seemed bemused. "Hmmm. Is this what the framers had in mind?" Del. Tom Hucker (D-Montgomery) asked jokingly.

The truck ornament industry is not amused. "It's not a perverted sexual thing at all," said David Ham, founder of Your Nutz, a San Diego-based business that sells more than 200 kinds of fake testicles.

{my bold, again - sr}

"It's a sense of humor. This lawmaker is looking out for two or three old women in tennis shoes. He's got too much time on his hands."

Ham said he shipped about 100 orders last year to customers in Maryland and Virginia. He said those who support a ban would do well to recall that 50 years ago, many people in the nation lived on farms. "Did all the little donkeys and sheep walk around with their panties on so children wouldn't see their bodies?" he asked.

The bill is now in the House Rules Committee. "I think it's a terrible bill," Chairman Hattie N. Harrison (D-Baltimore) said yesterday, but she agreed to defer to her colleagues on whether to let it die a quick death in committee or assign it to another one for a full debate.

 

[shereads]

"Home of America's favorite novelty testicles"

http://www.yournutz.com/

 

[Lalah]

No way... fake nuts? And people put this on their trucks voluntarily? Sounds like a bad prank you'd pull on the guy everyone a the office hate.

 

[glynndah]

Perhaps that's what the blue pickup truck that's been parked by my shed for a year needs. A couple of plastic testicles and it'll fire right up.

 

[shereads]

Perhaps that's what the blue pickup truck that's been parked by my shed for a year needs. A couple of plastic testicles and it'll fire right up.

Get blue ones to match. There are lighted ones at that web site.

 

[glynndah]

Get blue ones to match. There are lighted ones at that web site.

They would just about double the value of the truck.

 

[shereads]

They would just about double the value of the truck.

And it will be so proud!

 

[glynndah]

And it will be so proud!

Not to mention class up the whole neighborhood as well as make my induction into the White Trash Hall of Fame a sure thing.

 

[shereads]

Not to mention class up the whole neighborhood as well as make my induction into the White Trash Hall of Fame a sure thing.

Think of the stud fees.

 

[Weird Harold]

the outsized plastic testicles that truckers dangle from the trailer hitches of their pickups.

Truckers?

"Truckers" don't drive pickups, they drive real trucks. If it doesn't require a CDL is isn't a "truck" and the driver isn't a "Trucker."

I'm terribly sorry that these poor congress-critters had to answer a small child's, "What's that hanging from that car, Daddy," but stopping people from adding testicles to their penile substitutes with the big tires is just stupid. People with small dicks should be permitted to advertise that they have to substitute a big SUV/Pickup and plastic balls for what nature didn't provide them -- how else are discerning women going to activate their bullshit meters?

 

[glynndah]

Think of the stud fees.

Oooh. I could introduce it to my other cars and perhaps I'll get a cute little scooter out of the deal. Of course, I'm really not too sure of the gender of that one car. It always seemed a little butch to me.

 

[shereads]

Truckers?

"Truckers" don't drive pickups, they drive real trucks. If it doesn't require a CDL is isn't a "truck" and the driver isn't a "Trucker."

I'm terribly sorry that these poor congress-critters had to answer a small child's, "What's that hanging from that car, Daddy," but stopping people from adding testicles to their penile substitutes with the big tires is just stupid. People with small dicks should be permitted to advertise that they have to substitute a big SUV/Pickup and plastic balls for what nature didn't provide them -- how else are discerning women going to activate their bullshit meters?

I only know that when I first noticed a pair of these dangling from a bumper, it made me laugh out loud. No small feat during a traffic jam.

 

[Roxanne Appleby]

Call me a snob but I think such things are in incredibly bad taste, and I'm saddened that our culture and social mores have declined to such an extent that this is even an issue; in my ideal world the other guys and gals at the truck stop would have so dissed the first person who exhibited such a thing that he also would have been the last.

On a different note, I adore those trucks which have like 100 amber lights festooned on every available space in tasteful, orderly patterns. It's a different face of the same exuberant truck culture, I suppose, and one of which I heartily approve.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

ROXANNE

I live in Florida. To date I've seen one truck with nutz. Theyre rare.

We have serious economic problems here, and it frosts my cupcake for pols to play with truck-nutz on state time. But this is what pols (and cops) do when they cant cope with real problems, that is, play with their nutz.

 

[Roxanne Appleby]

ROXANNE

I live in Florida. To date I've seen one truck with nutz. Theyre rare.

We have serious economic problems here, and it frosts my cupcake for pols to play with truck-nutz on state time. But this is what pols (and cops) do when they cant cope with real problems, that is, play with their nutz.

That's good; and Amen.

 

[Liar]

Been tried before. This is from a year ago...

http://www.cynical-c.com/?p=6675

AZ Lawmaker Tries To Ban Naked Lady Mudflaps

PHOENIX — It’s still going to be legal in Arizona for trucks to have splash guards with racist terms and silhouettes of naked women.

The state House on Thursday rejected a Democratic amendment that would have banned splash guards with images that are “obscene or hateful.”

Tempe Democrat Ed Ableser sponsored the amendment. He said he’d seen a splash guard that used a derogatory term for black children and said he wanted to make sure that people with hateful motives didn’t inflict them on others.

Democratic Rep. Theresa Ulmer of Yuma supported the amendment and said it fit with lawmakers’ other efforts to crack down on pornography and sexual predators.

“I personally am tired of explaining to my 11-year-old son why they (women) are depicted on mudflaps , but not all women are 36Ds. He’s very confused by that,” Ulmer said. “But seriously, this is about family values — what are we going to send out as a message to our children.”

 

[rgraham666]

I'm with Harold on this one. Banning them is silly and excessive.

I also agree anyone using them is telling the world, 'I believe my dick is small and I'm unhappy with that fact."

 

[Liar]

I also agree anyone using them is telling the world, 'I believe my dick is small and I'm unhappy with that fact."

No, that's what the actual truck is for.

 

[Roxanne Appleby]

I'm probably the most libertarian person on this board, but I have to ask a difficult question: Is there any limit? Should there be no legal restriction on displaying a hardcore porn mural on the side of a van?

 

[NoJo]

My tax dollars at work:

"Home of America's favorite novelty testicles"

http://www.yournutz.com/

This one is genius:

http://www.yournutz.com/store/index.php?main_page=product_info&products_id=249

 

[3113]

[Raises hand] I'd like secede from the Union, please.

At least tell me that those aren't made in China.

 

[Katyusha]

I'm probably the most libertarian person on this board, but I have to ask a difficult question: Is there any limit? Should there be no legal restriction on displaying a hardcore porn mural on the side of a van?

That's what starts excessive restriction, censorship if you will, on things like this, the question of "where does it stop." Since the people who get their panties in a wad over this type of thing think that if it's allowed, it'll run rampant and cause the downfall of our society, they want laws banning everything that COULD POTENTIALLY BE CONSIDERED obscene by someone, to ward off such an eventuality, that may or may never happen.

My father used to hang those from the trailer hitch on his Jeep...I laughed my ass off the first time I noticed them. Since then, I've noticed them on...probably less than fifteen vehicles, and that's saying quite a bit considering I've been gallivanting all over this country in my car several times over the past three years.

I'm sorry, but I think state legislatures should be working on far more important things than whether or not people are hanging plastic balls from their trailer hitches. This is NOT that serious a problem, and it IS ridiculous that anybody's general assembly is working on bills to ban these things when they ALL have more serious problems to work on. So what if it offends some people? Are we going to outlaw every damn thing that offends someone? Good god.

 

[Weird Harold]

But this is what pols (and cops) do when they cant cope with real problems, that is, play with their nutz.

I wouldn't care if the pols were just playing with their nutz, but they want to play with everybody else's nutz, too.

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

Personally... I like um

If you go to their website you'll find they come in colors and sizes. There are even "Bike Nutz" for motorcycles.