Hateful feedback-result of mis-categorizing?

[sirsemega]

So after enjoying the stories here in all genres, I finally posted some of my work to give back. Yeah part of it was ego, I wanted to be stroked by people saying that I was talented and whatnot. Well the first few stories and feedback were some good some bad, but then my serial story started to be published, chapter by chapter, so far chpt. 3 of I think 8. Well it's rather bleak and hardcore, and I debated whether to post it under BDSM, or Loving Wives.
I chose Loving Wives and before long I had to turn off comments because the hate was very strong. The writing errors and constructive criticism is all welcomed but the comments on the subject matter was a little unexpected.
I know get a thick skin. I'm trying.
I just wonder if it's more to do that the audience is expecting something different from what I'm writing, and that is causing more frustration.

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

So after enjoying the stories here in all genres, I finally posted some of my work to give back. Yeah part of it was ego, I wanted to be stroked by people saying that I was talented and whatnot. Well the first few stories and feedback were some good some bad, but then my serial story started to be published, chapter by chapter, so far chpt. 3 of I think 8. Well it's rather bleak and hardcore, and I debated whether to post it under BDSM, or Loving Wives.
I chose Loving Wives and before long I had to turn off comments because the hate was very strong. The writing errors and constructive criticism is all welcomed but the comments on the subject matter was a little unexpected.
I know get a thick skin. I'm trying.
I just wonder if it's more to do that the audience is expecting something different from what I'm writing, and that is causing more frustration.

Well... Let me put it this way. BDSM is sort of a tight, but different group. The even have their own language and can be very picky about stories.

Loving Wives, on the other hand, is a dark pit of hate mongers. Post anything there and you can expect to be flamed, hated, pissed on and trolled. To survive in that genre you have to have armour and be a very good writer.

There are probably more complaints about negative feedback and trolling in that genre than any other on Lit.

 

[sirsemega]

Thanks, yeah getting people wishing I was dead is a little disturbing, even for a sick person like me!

 

[Darkniciad]

Thanks, yeah getting people wishing I was dead is a little disturbing, even for a sick person like me!

They've only wished you dead? Surely you're leaving out the part about some wasting STD that you endure for years first.

LW is not a category for the light-hearted, that's for certain.

Unless you're really part of the lifestyle, or do a hella lot of research first, you'd have been in trouble in BDSM, too. As Jenny said, they can spot a "wannabe" from a hundred miles away, and treat them accordingly. If you do enough research to seem respectful of the lifestyle, they'll accept it.

Any time you venture outside the safe 1on1 sexual situations, you're going to get hit. Even something that should seem pretty safe like Gay Male, Lesbian, and Anal is going to generate hate mail from crusaders that read the categories just to bitch.

You can also include Interratial as another category to walk into wearing very strong armor, and non-con/reluctance.

Loving Wives has the ( well deserved ) reputation as the most hostile category on the site, but it's hardly the only one.

Think of it this way, if you survive this, you should have a cakewalk from this point forward. The rest of the venom-spewing should seem tame by comparison

 

[Quesla]

Sirserveme? Quesla here: I would like to say that for such a hard Genre, You havr don e a good job of emotion and displayed the bind of the ex wife very well! I hope there is more to this story in the long plot, because There is definitely a character friction that is well worth exploring and resolving in the long run!!! I'd LOVE! to know what started the unfaithfulness axceleration of these two! Roughly read, wwththe characters? (sorry, Background interuption!++.;:: Hope that we can help eeyou round out this personal story of dominance and betrayal! Good Overall!

 

[Quesla]

Must also mention MAJOR! COMPLIMENTS! to you for being strong enough? Gutsy enough to submitt as a "Virgin. I'm still getting up the gumption to submit my stuff thatI've collected over the years as a inside myself writer despite my status as an "Experienced or really experienced poster! I still feel to disorganized to submitt my work in the stories. I'm In full admiration of your gutsyiness! Quesla! Lots of Love & Light!: Quesla

 

[elfin_odalisque]

sirsemega, Hi!

Dark and Jenny gave you the standard (but true) analysis of Loving Wives/BDSM comments, but they hadn't read your story.

I think you must be the first person who has ever united the various wings to be critical of a story. In fact, reading part 2, it was the first time I came close to reporting a story. How you got past the moderators baffles me.

I am no prude, I will go in there where whips and floggers are being stretched - where unfaithful wives and cuckolded hubbies are put on the rack, but A Dom's Revenge breaks all the rules. In BDSM, as far as I understand, there is a power exchange that requires mutual respect.

The comments are not nasty, by Loving Wives standards you got off lightly. The comments actually reflect what 99.9% of lit readers would think.

You can't have a BDSM where the submissive is not respected. Yes, Master is just hackneyed and beating a defenceless woman to a bloodied pulp is not just against all BDSM principles, it would get you 25 to life in any state.

Sorry, this is not what lit normally allows and you got a fair readers' response.

 

[The_Fractal_King]

So after enjoying the stories here in all genres, I finally posted some of my work to give back. Yeah part of it was ego, I wanted to be stroked by people saying that I was talented and whatnot. Well the first few stories and feedback were some good some bad, but then my serial story started to be published, chapter by chapter, so far chpt. 3 of I think 8. Well it's rather bleak and hardcore, and I debated whether to post it under BDSM, or Loving Wives.
I chose Loving Wives and before long I had to turn off comments because the hate was very strong. The writing errors and constructive criticism is all welcomed but the comments on the subject matter was a little unexpected.
I know get a thick skin. I'm trying.
I just wonder if it's more to do that the audience is expecting something different from what I'm writing, and that is causing more frustration.

I doubt stories posted LovingWives (or BDSM for that matter) should contain characters that are described as "a serial killer." The exploration of how terribly evil your main character is could be interesting but ultimately it just comes off as sickening.

With the sole exception of some Goreans people in the lifestyle will find the lack of any sort of safe word disturbing. The fact that everything seems motivated by hatred and rage makes your male lead an abuser rather than a Dom. I realize the story is fiction but I can easily see why people would take offense, it plays to far too many negative stereotypes.

You might honestly find a better response in NcR or Horror.

 

[sirsemega]

Thanks for the comments.
As far as the hateful stuff, I'm developing a thick skin.
I really wanted to classify this in a few categories, and I think I made the mistake of choosing Loving Wives. It's far more BDSM or as some have suggested Horror.
As far as SSC is concerned (Safe, Sane and Consensual), one, it is fiction and fantasy, and two, I did state early on in the story that this "player" was actually shunned in the community for being too harsh even by S&M standards.
The story is what it is. I've found people are very polarized by it. Most think it's sick and crap, that's fine.
I decided to turn the comments back on, let them say what they want to say.

 

[in_use]

HA! I made the mistake of posting a story in loving wives that probably would have been better off in fetish. I was just happy to get a reaction (as hateful as it was), now I find out I'm not special at all. Oh well, at least my dogs still love me.

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

Write a graphic rape story like I did once. You'll not only be hated, you'll get death threats.

Get over it.

 

[DeeZire]

What, exactly, are they looking for in Loving Wives? Lifetime network stuff? Happy endings? Monogamy? That would be a hard crowd to please.

 

[elfin_odalisque]

What, exactly, are they looking for in Loving Wives? Lifetime network stuff? Happy endings? Monogamy? That would be a hard crowd to please.

I know what you mean, but go read it. This is not a normal LW tale.

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

Okay. After looking at SirSMEGMA's (look that word up if you don't know the meaning) stories, these are my thoughts.

I Saw Her at a Party and Who Knows What the Future Holds I found to be CRAP. The writing is awful. My head aches from the wall of unbroken text. Frankly, both stories are unreadable and pointless.

The Dom's Revenge Series is worse. It is brutal and sadistic. "Dirty Dick" is correct. Those stories were misscatagroized. All six chapters should have been rejected entirely out of good taste since there is no place on Lit for this kind of garbage.

The best advice I can give is - STOP writing. Never post again. Find another site for your shit. I have reported all six Dom stories to Laural, asking for removal.

 

[Lalah]

Well... Saw Her at a Party wasn't an erotic story, and Who Knows What the Future Holds needs to have smaller paragraphs, and you do need to spend more time editing your stories, but it's not the end of the world, just keep at it.

It's true your series is not in the good section, it should most likely be in BDSM or Reluctance.

 

[manyeyedhydra]

This should be in the horror section.

Before we all pile on the guy remember this is supposed to be fiction (I hope!). We laugh enough at most of the LW trolls for failing to tell the difference between fantasy and reality so let's not do the same.

The writing is really sloppy. You should either use an editor or let the story sit on the side for a while and come back to it with a fresh mind. It reads like a first draft.

The story isn't particularly comfortable to read, but as a horror story that would be fine. I'm not an expert on the BDSM scene, but I suspect they would probably hate this story as it conforms to all the negative stereotypes. There's no relationship here, just a man torturing his former wife. It doesn't work as BDSM, or LW, but is effective as a horror tale. There's a real undercurrent of nastiness and you've created a quite spectacular monster in the central narrator. If this was the intention then well done. If not... well, I hope I don't ever meet you or your friends.

 

[ellynei]

Didn't read the stories. But if they contain nonconsensual violence. (Even if the victim agreed to be tied up and whipped, before knowing the person at the other end of the whip was planning to pull a psycho-stunt). Then no it does not belong in BDSM, it belongs in nonconsent/reluctance.

If there is truth to the comments above as to what his stories contains, then I can understand why both loving wives and BDSM readers would freak to have that in their category.

I dont even remember is there an extra category for super-gore?

Either way I've seen gore in nonconsent/reluctance , (I've seen soft stuff there too ofcourse). And as a steady nc reader I dont get pissed at seeing gore in that category, unless the foreword of the story specifically stated 'no-gore' in some way.

 

[manyeyedhydra]

Didn't read the stories. But if they contain nonconsensual violence. (Even if the victim agreed to be tied up and whipped, before knowing the person at the other end of the whip was planning to pull a psycho-stunt). Then no it does not belong in BDSM, it belongs in nonconsent/reluctance.

If there is truth to the comments above as to what his stories contains, then I can understand why both loving wives and BDSM readers would freak to have that in their category.

I dont even remember is there an extra category for super-gore?

Either way I've seen gore in nonconsent/reluctance , (I've seen soft stuff there too ofcourse). And as a steady nc reader I dont get pissed at seeing gore in that category, unless the foreword of the story specifically stated 'no-gore' in some way.

There's the erotic horror category, but it doesn't really have much 'super-gore'. Really extreme violence usually gets rejected from what I've heard. I'm guessing most people don't get turned on when the ketchup starts flying

 

[ellynei]

Just flashed quickly through some of the Dom's revenge stuff. Yup that would be nonconsent/reluctance.

Now if I wrote a story like that, where the main person has misunderstood the concept of BDSM and is even explaining his misconceptions to another character. I have some basic respect for other people's sexuality and I would add a very visible disclaimer to the story that this person's statements does not reflect the normal meaning of BDSM,,yadda yadda,,,,,

Not only so that BDSM-practitioners who came across the story would feel less pissed off. More for the reasons of not spreading the misconceptions regarding that sexuality further than it already is. Imagine someone not knowing what BDSM and just "learning" (or rather being mis-informed) of the meaning of those words through that story?

You said something about it being mentioned earlier that you had some kinda disclaimer in there? I didn't read the story from start but I hope its a very very clear one.

Righty conclusion:

First:Take this thing of loving wives section. Having this thing on loving wives is like playing "SAW III" on tv when "Winnie The Pooh" was on the schedual.

And secondly keep it off BDSM too. It has nothing to do with BDSM, other than that the main char seems to wrongfully believe that what he is doing is BDSM.

Thirdly check how clear your disclaimers are again. It's ok to have a character in a story who has the wrong impression about a term for a certain sexuality (same as its ok to have a character in a story who is a racist etc etc) but it is not ok to allow such derogatory misconceptions to appear as facts.

Fourthly when you've checked your disclaimers once, check 'em twice more. And then put it up on nonconsent/reluctance. (Since the woman is forced by circumstances to enter a life of abuse and slavery, nc-r really is the category for this story).


Ofcourse third and fourth steps are optional.

 

[Darkniciad]

There's the erotic horror category, but it doesn't really have much 'super-gore'. Really extreme violence usually gets rejected from what I've heard. I'm guessing most people don't get turned on when the ketchup starts flying

There's a certain level of violent content that won't fly, no matter what, but the main reasons for rejection is where the violence is attached to sex in some way (snuff)

My characters have smashed people to pulp - slowly. I've had a guy with macabre fountains of blood spurting from the stump where his hand used to be shoving a sword deeper into his body to try to reach a ring. Demons devouring people alive.

Cat's death in Home by the Sea happens "off camera" though. The scenes afterward pretty much tell you what happened during the fade to black, but I don't actually show it because it's attached to some really black sexual content.

You can also go farther in Horror than any other category.

 

[The_Fractal_King]

My characters have smashed people to pulp - slowly. I've had a guy with macabre fountains of blood spurting from the stump where his hand used to be shoving a sword deeper into his body to try to reach a ring. Demons devouring people alive.

You must be fun at parties.

 

[Darkniciad]

You must be fun at parties.

A solid decade of nightly nightmares to draw on. Ended up building a flashing light thingy from Radio Shack parts to start up ( through trial and error ) at about the time I hit REM sleep and eventually wrested control back from the Sandman.

Still have nightmares and whakked dreams on occasion, but I tend to recognize them and wake up, always accompanied by an impression of slowly flashing red lights.

 

[sirsemega]

Thanks for looking at it people!
Yeah I'm waiting till the final chapter comes out, I submitted all chapters at once under LW, to then re-categorize it. I chose LW to begin with since this was my "negative" reaction to most of the stories on there, with the exceptions of the sorroful stories where the couple never get back together. That's why I first chose it, even though there are elements of BDSM and horror in it.

This is fantasy, and also my fantasy of the strong reactions I feel when reading the stories in LW of a cheater and the wimp who does nothing about it, accepting the situation.

I do apologize for not editing the story well enough, the content matter is polarizing enough without the grammar and spelling errors.

Once the last part comes out I will probably reclassify it un horror...

 

[Darkniciad]

:: sigh :: In other words, your purpose from the beginning was to anger the camp that likes cuckold stories, and poke fun at the people who like revenge stories.

Big surprise you got hateful feedback there.

Wonder if I can get a credit for the posts I wasted in this thread...

 

[sirsemega]

No, my purpose was to write a story for myself, not to piss anyone off. Once written I chose to share it. I already stated my reasons for posting in LW.