Public Service Announcement: Beatings Aren't The Be-All And End-All Of Kink!

[BiBunny]

Yeah, I'm being kind of sarcastic with the thread title, but I'm bored and trying to while away the time.

But could someone shine some light on this for me? Why is it that when I tell people I'm not really that into being beaten when I'm on bottom that they suddenly have no idea what to do with me? (I've already posted about my issues with being struck, so I won't bore y'all by getting into it again.) Do people really think that S&M consists of tying somebody spread-eagled to the bed, spanking/whipping/otherwise striking them, receiving (and perhaps giving) oral sex, and then PIV fucking? Seriously? Is that ALL some people do?

Newsflash, people: There are tons of activities that don't involve paddles/whips/crops/canes/whatever. (I intentionally left floggers and heavy belts off the list since I like those, usually.) Oh, and, incidentally, just because I don't like to be beaten doesn't mean I'm some kind of pansy when it comes to pain. Non-impact activities can be quite painful and titillating. You just have to be a little more creative than the typical mainstream "kink porn" formula, I guess.

Ok, to show that I didn't start this thread solely to complain, why don't we talk about things that don't involve "pick up implement and beat?" I know I can't be the only one in this boat. And even if I am, I bet some of y'all would like to discuss some things to use as a change of pace when the ol' flogging arm(s) get(s) tired.

Some of my favorite non-impact activities are tight breast bondage, clamps or clothespins on various body parts, fisting, and needles. I know there are a whole bunch of others, but I want to hear from y'all.

 

[graceanne]

I have to agree. A sexual rut is a sexual rut, whether it's kinky or not. And some of my favorite things to do have nothing to do with bondage or spanking (not that they aren't fun). I'm not going to go into a lot of detail, though, cause it's really no one's business. I can say that I love . . . *looks around for Etoile* . . . breath play. I also enjoy anything brushing with domination. It's amazing, what would piss me off, and I'd consider rude, just WORKS for me in the bedroom. LOL Beyond that, I like a lot of non-kinky sexual stuff, too.

P.S. I prefer a belt over just about anything else.

 

[BiBunny]

I have to agree. A sexual rut is a sexual rut, whether it's kinky or not. And some of my favorite things to do have nothing to do with bondage or spanking (not that they aren't fun). I'm not going to go into a lot of detail, though, cause it's really no one's business. I can say that I love . . . *looks around for Etoile* . . . breath play. I also enjoy anything brushing with domination. It's amazing, what would piss me off, and I'd consider rude, just WORKS for me in the bedroom. LOL Beyond that, I like a lot of non-kinky sexual stuff, too.

P.S. I prefer a belt over just about anything else.

OMG, gracie, how could I forget breath play?!?!?!?! That's one of my favorites, too. I guess I'll just chalk it up to not playing in way longer than I care to admit. And I agree about things that are rude and would normally piss me off in real life just DO it for me in bed.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

There are tons of things besides "beating," ya know. Just as a partial list of non-impact, not-previously-mentioned stuffs:

Fireplay
Cupping (subset of above, sorta)
Violet Wand/other electroplay
Zippers (related to clothespins/clamps, but an entirely different thing)
Hot wax
Knife play
Puppy/pony play
Objectification

I'm tired and my mind is semi-blank, so that's all I can come up with "off the cuff," but it's a start.

 

[fieryjen]

I had my first clothespins experience a few days ago and was very into it. I'd never have expected it. Granted I was being beaten too, but obviously, those were two completely different things that were pretty separate.
Wax is something else I'd like to try again. I'm a sucker for the sensations.

 

[snowbyte]

One thing that I have planned involves not letting my sub eat all day (but drink water, natch). Then do a standard 4 point tie-down with a blindfold. Then open a large order of sushi and sashimi and start laying it out over her body piece by piece, letting her get a smell of the odd bit. Prepare some hot sake to go with my dinner, then remove the blindfold and proceed to eat away along with whatever I improvise. She loves sushi, so this should be interesting.

 

[snowbyte]

Speaking of Public Service Announcements, Clark Dietz (forensic psychologist) was on the tube today talking about Jeff Dahmer. He said "I really should make a Public Service Announcements: Don't think about road-kill when you masturbate."

Uhhhhh, OK, Clark... Thanks for the tip.

 

[BiBunny]

There are tons of things besides "beating," ya know. Just as a partial list of non-impact, not-previously-mentioned stuffs:

Fireplay
Cupping (subset of above, sorta)
Violet Wand/other electroplay
Zippers (related to clothespins/clamps, but an entirely different thing)
Hot wax
Knife play
Puppy/pony play
Objectification

I'm tired and my mind is semi-blank, so that's all I can come up with "off the cuff," but it's a start.

Oooh, I absolutely LOVE zippers. One of these days, I'm going to get brave and try the fireplay/cupping thing. Knives are awesome, too.

I had my first clothespins experience a few days ago and was very into it. I'd never have expected it. Granted I was being beaten too, but obviously, those were two completely different things that were pretty separate.
Wax is something else I'd like to try again. I'm a sucker for the sensations.

Clothespins and clamps are some of my favorite things. They're very versatile, and there are just so many things you can do with them. I love the way they feel when they bite into my flesh. *Shiver*

One thing that I have planned involves not letting my sub eat all day (but drink water, natch). Then do a standard 4 point tie-down with a blindfold. Then open a large order of sushi and sashimi and start laying it out over her body piece by piece, letting her get a smell of the odd bit. Prepare some hot sake to go with my dinner, then remove the blindfold and proceed to eat away along with whatever I improvise. She loves sushi, so this should be interesting.

Now THAT sounds interesting. Well, I'm not fond of sushi, but I'm picturing trading out the sushi with bits of cheesecake or something.

 

[Ladythunder]

Over the last 6 years I have been involved with a whole 2 submissives (wow loads of experience compared to some of you guys 'n gals lol insert sarcasm)

One hated any form of pain play, pain was never good for him and a hard limit from the outset. I learned to work around it. There are so many different ways to play, the submissive I am involved with actually made me go "What?" when he said he was into it. I wasn't sure how to deal with it (though I have since gotten over that too )

The limits of play are only limited by your imagination. Or your sub's limits, whichever is reached first lol.

I dunno, I know there are a lot of people stuck on the only way to enjoy the lifestyle is to beat or be beaten, but as many of the others that frequent these boards, I am not one of them, thankfully!

 

[BiBunny]

Over the last 6 years I have been involved with a whole 2 submissives (wow loads of experience compared to some of you guys 'n gals lol insert sarcasm)

One hated any form of pain play, pain was never good for him and a hard limit from the outset. I learned to work around it. There are so many different ways to play, the submissive I am involved with actually made me go "What?" when he said he was into it. I wasn't sure how to deal with it (though I have since gotten over that too )

The limits of play are only limited by your imagination. Or your sub's limits, whichever is reached first lol.

I dunno, I know there are a lot of people stuck on the only way to enjoy the lifestyle is to beat or be beaten, but as many of the others that frequent these boards, I am not one of them, thankfully!

See, that's my other problem. Because I don't really care for being beaten when I'm on bottom, I'm not really that interested in beating a sub I play with, either. That seems to confuse them as well. I mean, I do it sometimes, but it's far from my favorite thing to do. Every single one of my "scenes," as it were, doesn't have to involve delivering blows. That's another reason why I ask if that's really some people's idea of kink.

 

[YourCaptor]

I for one prefer torture over spanking. More fun for me, and to be honest, most of those spanking implements are comical.

 

[intothewoods]

See, that's my other problem. Because I don't really care for being beaten when I'm on bottom, I'm not really that interested in beating a sub I play with, either. That seems to confuse them as well. I mean, I do it sometimes, but it's far from my favorite thing to do. Every single one of my "scenes," as it were, doesn't have to involve delivering blows. That's another reason why I ask if that's really some people's idea of kink.

We don't do a ton of it either. Mister Man doesn't have a big toy bag, and we don't do very elaborate play all together. I occasionally, I don't know, pine for a very elaborate hot scene, but I also know that I wouldn't be able to satisfy someone who has those sorts of needs.

 

[Evil_Geoff]

What's not to believe? Some people are spankos. ALL they are interested kink wise is spanking.

Some people are into puppy play. Or kitty play. Or pony play. And that's the ONLY kink they are into.

Some people are into foot worship. It's the ONLY kink they are into.

So yeah... there are some people out there that are ONLY into "pick up an implement, beat the snail snot outta someone, then Penis in Orifice fucking."

There are some that are into sensation and pain, regardless of how it's inflicted *looks up and whistles innocently* I can inflict pain LOTS of different ways. And I'm really not terribly interested in fucking when I'm doing that.

I am so into clothespins and quirts...
Needles.
Fire.
Knives.
Electroplay.
Dragon tails.
Whips
The Evil Stick is a great lazy sadist toy...
Clamps.
Rope.

Whatcha wanna try?

 

[graceanne]

The Evil Stick is a great lazy sadist toy...

I know I'm gonna regret this, but . . .

What's The Evil Stick?

 

[snowbyte]

What's The Evil Stick?

A 2x4?

 

[snowbyte]

I for one prefer torture over spanking.

Psychological torture. That's where it's at! The physical is just too easy... Spanking etc... lowers and breaks down barriers, then it gets serious, the deep end of the pool.

 

[YourCaptor]

Psychological torture. That's where it's at! The physical is just too easy... Spanking etc... lowers and breaks down barriers, then it gets serious, the deep end of the pool.

Psychological is fun, but I like physical too, at the height of my sexual expression I was threading needles and plastic thread through skin.

I can inflict pain LOTS of different ways. And I'm really not terribly interested in fucking when I'm doing that.

Unlike Evil Geoff however it seriously turns me on. Inflicting pain gives me a mind set similar to sub space, or whatever they call it here.

 

[chris9]

One thing that I have planned involves not letting my sub eat all day (but drink water, natch). Then do a standard 4 point tie-down with a blindfold. Then open a large order of sushi and sashimi and start laying it out over her body piece by piece, letting her get a smell of the odd bit. Prepare some hot sake to go with my dinner, then remove the blindfold and proceed to eat away along with whatever I improvise. She loves sushi, so this should be interesting.

That would be a certain way to very quick and painful death for any Dom trying this on me...

To answer the original question:
I found out (mainly by accident) that pinching is just amazingly great. The way it was discovered was that traditional beating (which I like as well) was just too noisy. Pinching can be more intimate. Being held, cuddling; at the very same time having pain inflicted and being comforted. The pain keeps going for longer than a beating does, can be very easily changed from strong to weak and back. And one doesn't need toys, or lots of time (as needed for an elaborate scene).

 

[WriterDom]

If someone has "issues" that's another thing altogether. But having a sub endure something that might not be her kink has an appeal of its own. If they know you very well and trust you completely.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Have to say it must be the people you choose if this is the limit of their imagination, but have faith in your ability to find someone more adventurous and able to think outside the box. Thankfully we have not had the same dilemma and found bottoms/subs who are very open to alternatives and usually have had more than a few ideas of their own when given the opportunity to express their thoughts and delicious desires.

Catalina

 

[IsabellaKing]

I still have a couple of soft spots for the cane and it does leave such wicked marks.

On the whole, I'm not really into pain, and fortunately, he seems happy to push my limits in other directions - abstinence, orgasm denial, puppy play, objectification, restraint - anything that amuses him really.

I once joked that he must have been bullied as a child but he said he wouldn't do it if I wasn't getting a kick out of it. It's always somehow shameful to admit gaining enjoyment from such depravity...or maybe that's just the way he likes me to feel.

 

[mickyp123]

I still have a couple of soft spots for the cane and it does leave such wicked marks.

On the whole, I'm not really into pain, and fortunately, he seems happy to push my limits in other directions - abstinence, orgasm denial, puppy play, objectification, restraint - anything that amuses him really.

I once joked that he must have been bullied as a child but he said he wouldn't do it if I wasn't getting a kick out of it. It's always somehow shameful to admit gaining enjoyment from such depravity...or maybe that's just the way he likes me to feel.

I still have a couple of soft spots for the cane and it does leave such wicked marks.

Yep i think the correct term for those are "cheeks"

 

[IsabellaKing]

Yep i think the correct term for those are "cheeks"

That's the ones

 

[Netzach]

There are people who prefer really horrible wicked pinchy pokey invasive pain to whack me over the ass pain.

Doesn't really matter to me. I'm about the reaction, baby.

Abrasion is one of my new favorites. To me there's something SO hot about an activity that requires SO LITTLE effort from the top to have the bottom begging and weeping.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

I left out suspension, in its numerous formats. (Among others, I'm sure.)