I’m a longtime reader here, finally taking my first shot at writing something. I’ve never had any writing classes (barely even passed high-school English long ago!) but I’ve put a lot of time & effort into my first story, & I’ve tried my best to make it a good one. I’m now hoping a kind volunteer editor will help to fix my ignorant mistakes.
I’ve edited my story as much as I feel able to. I think it’s fairly acceptable as far as spelling & basic content, but I’m sure it needs a little help with sentence structure, & a lot with paragraph structure & punctuation. It’s a long piece (25,000 words) & contains a variety of kinks...
~first time sex
~anal sex
~lesbian sex
~gay sex
~group sex
~Domination
~bondage
~humiliation
~whipping
~& even some romance & ‘vanilla’ sex
...I’ll probably submit it to either the ‘BDSM’ or the ‘group sex’ section here, since they are the most consistent themes throughout the tale.
I feel that I’ve already learned quite a bit just from the process of writing my first story. But I’d also like to learn more from the editorial changes made to it, so I’m hoping for an editor who will somehow highlight their changes for me to easily see. Of course I’m anxious to see it posted here, but I’d rather take an extra few days to polish it up than to post it only partially-done. I guess I’m seeking an editor who’s thorough but fairly quick, insightful without being overly demanding, & hopefully has a writing style compatible with my own. Your quality help will be greatly appreciated!
The story takes place in a rather vague time period & location, but it’s got a definite medieval/fairy-tale flavor. An innocent young princess is taken in by a stern (yet loving) Mistress who turns her life into a hedonistic journey of personal discovery. Day by day the girl loses more of her innocence, but gains knowledge & experience in many forms of sexuality. I tried to make the flow of the story follow the maiden’s progression- starting out soft, sweet & sensual, gradually becoming hotter, harder & nastier. I’ve included a very short excerpt for any interested editors…
Mistress Kathryn disrobed, revealing an emerald & black corset & panties that matched her gown quite well. She sat, crossing her long, stocking clad legs, & said, “Whenever you two love-birds are ready…”
I began to slowly strip while Loren just watched me with an intense, animal lust in his eyes. I put on a little show for him, taking my time & casting seductive glances his way. Suddenly there was no more to take off. I stood stark naked before him.
Loren’s dropped jaw curled into a boyish grin as I stepped towards him. I slipped away his jacket, peeled the silk shirt from his shoulders, & ran my fingertips up his smooth, tanned torso & down his arms. His breath caught as I knelt submissively before him & unbuckled his trousers. I eased his underwear down as one with his pants & all at once his erection popped out, bouncing enticingly right in front of my face.
His cock was positively beautiful! It was long, thick & smooth, arched slightly upwards & pulsing with youthful energy as it reached toward his chest. A yearning whimper escaped me as I admired it. I stroked its velvety skin & gently fondled the large, smooth-shaven, taut balls that clung below it. Several drops of precum oozed at once from the pink head & trickled down his whole exquisite length. That was too much for me- I simply had to taste him! I looked up into his glazed eyes as I touched the tip of my tongue to his balls & licked, ever so slowly, up his magnificent manhood. He let out a half-sigh/half-moan as my lips pressed against the sensitive spot just below his dripping head. I slid my open lips up & down his flesh, suckling gently & flicking him with the tip of my tongue. More clear nectar ran down from its top & I could no longer deny my primal hunger. My lips crawled quickly up his visibly throbbing dick, & wrapping them snugly around the glistening head, I took him into my virgin mouth. Stretching me & filling me, his hardness felt so satisfying there! I had to cling tightly to his small hips & firm ass, to prevent my falling over from over-excited, all too passionate dizziness!
Now I sucked Loren’s cock with an eternal urgency born of true, unquenchable need. I lip-nibbled up & down his heavy flesh, massaging it with my flattened tongue & sucking for more sweet honey. Amazed that I could so easily take something so massive down my throat, I plunged him fully into my face again & again. My submissive nature now fully aroused, I sucked his dick frantically, giving my heart & soul to pleasure him beyond knowing. I was so enraptured that I became lost in total, beastly abandon, begging with my moans around him for even more glorious cock to consume. I somehow caught myself just before he came & I pulled away to lick & nuzzle his huge balls- I wanted to savor this wondrous treat! When it seemed safe again, I sucked him back into my craving mouth with renewed vigor & fucked him with it, all traces of modesty & lady-like composure cast far away. I felt like a totally ravenous bitch in heat as I devoured his sex! I just couldn’t get enough!
So if any of you generous editors are interested in helping with my story please let me know. And a gazillion thanks to each of you for the tremendous service you provide here!
I’ve edited my story as much as I feel able to. I think it’s fairly acceptable as far as spelling & basic content, but I’m sure it needs a little help with sentence structure, & a lot with paragraph structure & punctuation. It’s a long piece (25,000 words) & contains a variety of kinks...
~first time sex
~anal sex
~lesbian sex
~gay sex
~group sex
~Domination
~bondage
~humiliation
~whipping
~& even some romance & ‘vanilla’ sex
...I’ll probably submit it to either the ‘BDSM’ or the ‘group sex’ section here, since they are the most consistent themes throughout the tale.
I feel that I’ve already learned quite a bit just from the process of writing my first story. But I’d also like to learn more from the editorial changes made to it, so I’m hoping for an editor who will somehow highlight their changes for me to easily see. Of course I’m anxious to see it posted here, but I’d rather take an extra few days to polish it up than to post it only partially-done. I guess I’m seeking an editor who’s thorough but fairly quick, insightful without being overly demanding, & hopefully has a writing style compatible with my own. Your quality help will be greatly appreciated!
The story takes place in a rather vague time period & location, but it’s got a definite medieval/fairy-tale flavor. An innocent young princess is taken in by a stern (yet loving) Mistress who turns her life into a hedonistic journey of personal discovery. Day by day the girl loses more of her innocence, but gains knowledge & experience in many forms of sexuality. I tried to make the flow of the story follow the maiden’s progression- starting out soft, sweet & sensual, gradually becoming hotter, harder & nastier. I’ve included a very short excerpt for any interested editors…
Mistress Kathryn disrobed, revealing an emerald & black corset & panties that matched her gown quite well. She sat, crossing her long, stocking clad legs, & said, “Whenever you two love-birds are ready…”
I began to slowly strip while Loren just watched me with an intense, animal lust in his eyes. I put on a little show for him, taking my time & casting seductive glances his way. Suddenly there was no more to take off. I stood stark naked before him.
Loren’s dropped jaw curled into a boyish grin as I stepped towards him. I slipped away his jacket, peeled the silk shirt from his shoulders, & ran my fingertips up his smooth, tanned torso & down his arms. His breath caught as I knelt submissively before him & unbuckled his trousers. I eased his underwear down as one with his pants & all at once his erection popped out, bouncing enticingly right in front of my face.
His cock was positively beautiful! It was long, thick & smooth, arched slightly upwards & pulsing with youthful energy as it reached toward his chest. A yearning whimper escaped me as I admired it. I stroked its velvety skin & gently fondled the large, smooth-shaven, taut balls that clung below it. Several drops of precum oozed at once from the pink head & trickled down his whole exquisite length. That was too much for me- I simply had to taste him! I looked up into his glazed eyes as I touched the tip of my tongue to his balls & licked, ever so slowly, up his magnificent manhood. He let out a half-sigh/half-moan as my lips pressed against the sensitive spot just below his dripping head. I slid my open lips up & down his flesh, suckling gently & flicking him with the tip of my tongue. More clear nectar ran down from its top & I could no longer deny my primal hunger. My lips crawled quickly up his visibly throbbing dick, & wrapping them snugly around the glistening head, I took him into my virgin mouth. Stretching me & filling me, his hardness felt so satisfying there! I had to cling tightly to his small hips & firm ass, to prevent my falling over from over-excited, all too passionate dizziness!
Now I sucked Loren’s cock with an eternal urgency born of true, unquenchable need. I lip-nibbled up & down his heavy flesh, massaging it with my flattened tongue & sucking for more sweet honey. Amazed that I could so easily take something so massive down my throat, I plunged him fully into my face again & again. My submissive nature now fully aroused, I sucked his dick frantically, giving my heart & soul to pleasure him beyond knowing. I was so enraptured that I became lost in total, beastly abandon, begging with my moans around him for even more glorious cock to consume. I somehow caught myself just before he came & I pulled away to lick & nuzzle his huge balls- I wanted to savor this wondrous treat! When it seemed safe again, I sucked him back into my craving mouth with renewed vigor & fucked him with it, all traces of modesty & lady-like composure cast far away. I felt like a totally ravenous bitch in heat as I devoured his sex! I just couldn’t get enough!
So if any of you generous editors are interested in helping with my story please let me know. And a gazillion thanks to each of you for the tremendous service you provide here!
