lady finder a.i. chat autobot!

[Colton_White]

lady finder a.i. chat autobot!-black humor story

Hello friends,
Long time ago I tried my hand writing a peeping tom story which was rejected. So I left my story writing hobby,
But since a few weeks I’m feeling extremely bored so took up the activity again.

I’m posting my story here, for you people to enjoy and feedback [if any.] I’m copy pasting the story cause the bureaucrates are taking a long time approving my story to be posted there.
Actually its less of a story more of a blog. Can be classified as a black humor section of an autobiography.
[I’m also working on my online life’s autobiography. ]
===========================
Short summery & background of the below posted story
===========================

I’ve been reading lit. stories since last 4 years, and made a profile 6 months ago to find me a lady on Lit. but it didn’t work out despite repeated hard efforts.
So this humorous idea came in my mind about a computer program searching lady for me. this story is just about the description of the idea.
Now starts the story……
==================================
I want to make a automatic robo program to relieve me from this tiresome task of finding me an online lady. Let me explain what it has to do.

1. The robo will automatically search for potential targets..lady ads on personals and new lady members.
and then search for their previous posts, and Accordingly it'll send her a sweet PM. [using if-then-copy paste thingy- I've explained it below]
2. when the robo gets reply back, e.g. about chat etc. then it'll automatically add them as buddy in the messenger.
Most ladies I've chatted with are generally too busy & egoistic or dumb that they keep saying nothing but only 'lol' every 5 minutes no matter what I was saying for past four minutes.
So its a tiresome process weeding out such people, so robo program will automatically chat with them, sending sweet IM for about 20 minutes trial using if-then conditioned thing. And if the lady keeps responding nothing but lol, then robo will automatically delete her but not before sending her last IM "I'm deleting you cause I don't like wasting my time doing one way talk."

and If there is still some lady left, then AI robo will notify me, then only I'll come and invest my time in her.


======
An Example of the if-then conditioned messeges..

# [if ..] = [automatic robo reply]

For sending the sweet PM according to her ad and profile.

Hello There [#insert name of the profile],
#Check the time setting=Good morning/afternoon/evening
I've seen your ad and profile and I'm interested.

[body..]
#if avatar = Wow you've the finest and most wonderful avatar I've ever seen.
#if age is specified= oh YES, I like mature/young [whatever age]
#If marital status specified= yes I like only [married/unmarried ladies]
#if she has written stories= Wonderful, I've read all your stories, I really enjoyed them. You're the finest writer on Literotica, I must say.
#if she has posted pictures = Oh my God!! you're the sexiest person I've ever seen online.
#if she has mentioned some song/food/book/video in her ad/profile = Oh YES, that [song/food/book/video] is my favorite too!! + [robo will search Wikipedia for that item and make some more lines regarding why I like that song/food/book/video]

[paste..my description..age/physical description/hobbies etc.]

[end..]
Have a Good [time setting=day/night]
===================

now, 90% of the time, she won't reply, but incase she replies..
send her another PM according to her response..
===================
Hello [#insert name of the profile],
#Check the time setting=Good morning/afternoon/evening
[body...]
Thanks a lot for taking your time and replying to me, at least you're not of those ladies who don't even care to reply back.
#if she has given her chat id= thanks a lot, I'll add you in a minute. [*robo program will automatically sign into my Y! id and send her buddy request.*]
#if she said something good about me= Thank you very much.
#if she posted some hatred/obnoxious thing = well i don't care, hope it helps you ventilate your frustration. And don't worry, I don't add people on ignore list.
# "why are you still here?"= its same everywhere, on every board on every site. lol. its a big MySpace
[end..]
Have a Good [time setting=day/night]
==================

B. Chat process [if she gave her id]

sign in
Hello [#insert name of the profile],
#Check the time setting=Good morning/afternoon/evening
# thanks a lot for adding me as buddy.
#if avatar = Wow you've the finest and most wonderful avatar I've ever seen.

{on every 'Thank you' response, robo replies as 'you're welcome.' And other snub things.}

[TIME TO CHECK WHETHER ITS LOL-LADY OR NOT?]
#ask for her hobbies/interest = search Wikipedia accordingly, paste text phrases accordingly.
+Tell something abt. myself/ ask something abt. her self.
#if the replies are mostly one word 'lol'..then repeat the same process with different topic,
#continue the process for 20 minutes, if she keeps saying only lol+3-5 words, no matter what robo was saying
= Send last IM "I'm deleting you cause I don't like wasting my time doing one way talk."..[delete her from buddy list.]

#if she passes the test, by saying something meaningful constituting of more than 5 non obnoxious words
=Make the screen flash red..with buzzing sound to notify me that she's genuine.
then ai robo will cease working, and I take over the chat.

#if not then ai robo will repeat the scavenging process.
==============

if you're still reading this..thanks you very much.
don't get serious about the robo program, its just a fantasy of a lonely tired bored guy [=me]

 

[cloudy]

It's not really a story, is it?

I tried to read it, I promise, but it's almost impossible to make sense of, and to be quite honest, I really doubt it'll be posted, simply because it reads more like an old Fortran computer program...or Cobol.

 

[Colton_White]

I'm sorry

It's not really a story, is it?

I tried to read it, I promise, but it's almost impossible to make sense of, and to be quite honest, I really doubt it'll be posted, simply because it reads more like an old Fortran computer program...or Cobol.

ya i understand, its hard to read is its not composed like a conventional sentence format.

Let me tell you the crux


some ladies add me as buddy but then keep saying lol every 5 minutes no matter what i was saying for past 4 minutes. and they behave like too busy with lot chat buddies.

the story is abt. me thinking of making a program that will first make contact with ladies using sweet talk PM, chat with ladies with all the formal sweet talk abt. those ladies' interests by searching abt. it on wikipedia. and if the she is not busy lol-ing, then the robo will notify me to tell that the lady is someone free and worth investing time and energy.

so its just me trying my [lame] hand writing a black humor story.

that cobol program code like this is nothing but just conditional responces that the robo will give to the lady.
=

and it doesn't matter if they don't post my story,
cause i only wrote it to ventilate my anger and frustration. its not written to establish myself as a 'author'

but thanks for taking time and trying to read it lol

 

[cloudy]

ya i understand, its hard to read is its not composed like a conventional sentence format.

Let me tell you the crux


some ladies add me as buddy but then keep saying lol every 5 minutes no matter what i was saying for past 4 minutes. and they behave like too busy with lot chat buddies.

the story is abt. me thinking of making a program that will first make contact with ladies using sweet talk PM, chat with ladies with all the formal sweet talk abt. those ladies' interests by searching abt. it on wikipedia. and if the she is not busy lol-ing, then the robo will notify me to tell that the lady is someone free and worth investing time and energy.

so its just me trying my [lame] hand writing a black humor story.

that cobol program code like this is nothing but just conditional responces that the robo will give to the lady.
=

and it doesn't matter if they don't post my story,
cause i only wrote it to ventilate my anger and frustration. its not written to establish myself as a 'author'

but thanks for taking time and trying to read it lol

oh, I know Cobol, believe me....and I used to teach a class in Fortran (I'm giving away my age, but there it is).

 

[ellynei]

Look at the flip side

I had no trouble getting it. Hehehe

Imo brilliant. Love the humor. Love the logic.

Your bot would weed me out though, cause if I got that kind of chit chat automatic responses I would resort to polite lol's and phrases, in order to let the conversation thin out and die. Cause man your bot would appear boring and disinteresting to me.

Whereas you, yourself, as the person who wrote this seems very interesting, to me, as a chat buddy.

Alas Im not on the market for cybersex with option to evolve. So im not the lady you are looking for.

But if you get bored with few words and lols and need to visit the opposite ditch, just for variety. Go ahead and contact me. It wont lead anywhere sexual but at least you will experience that there is such a thing as women who type too much in chats.

 

[Colton_White]

I had no trouble getting it. Hehehe

Imo brilliant. Love the humor. Love the logic.

Your bot would weed me out though, cause if I got that kind of chit chat automatic responses I would resort to polite lol's and phrases, in order to let the conversation thin out and die. Cause man your bot would appear boring and disinteresting to me.

Whereas you, yourself, as the person who wrote this seems very interesting, to me, as a chat buddy.

Alas Im not on the market for cybersex with option to evolve. So im not the lady you are looking for.

But if you get bored with few words and lols and need to visit the opposite ditch, just for variety. Go ahead and contact me. It wont lead anywhere sexual but at least you will experience that there is such a thing as women who type too much in chats.

thanks for taking time and reading my story!!

I’m Not looking for cybersex (its hard & tiresome typing and wanking at the same time) + I’m not much into jumping right into sex with any stranger I find on net.plus the last lady i did that with, went off line immediately after she orgasmed, leaving me to finish myself looking at the porno stash I've in my laptop. ]

so I've learned that its saves a lot time wanking at porno rather then investing weeks of chatting in order to get laid 'online' with some selfish lady.

Sent you a PM check it out! btw, its written by me and not a robo

 

[sexciprincess]

I understood it too! Very funny, I loved it! Nice job Colton!

 

[Colton_White]

I understood it too! Very funny, I loved it! Nice job Colton!

thanks,

I've written a BDSM humor story almost ready .. I'm going to post it too, soon

 

[sexciprincess]

Ohh, nice.. I'll be sure to read that one too!

 

[Colton_White]

Ohh, nice.. I'll be sure to read that one too!

posted that story!!



[size=+1] A 'Fake' Dom remembers[/size]

 

[Colton_White]

DAMN IT...

they rejected my beautiful story

without giving any proper explanation
it was an auto-reply like thing about

1.story less than 750 words
2.grammer/spelling mistakes
3.too much use of punctuation marks


and other crap like that,but anyways, I didn't write the story to establish myself as a writer/ win some awards. I was only bored and wanted to put off my anger so the mission is accomplished anyways.

Right now,
[size=+1] I'm seeking a lady... [Personal Ad][/size]

 

[drksideofthemoon]

DAMN IT...

they rejected my beautiful story

without giving any proper explanation
it was an auto-reply like thing about

1.story less than 750 words
2.grammer/spelling mistakes
3.too much use of punctuation marks


and other crap like that,but anyways, I didn't write the story to establish myself as a writer/ win some awards. I was only bored and wanted to put off my anger so the mission is accomplished anyways.

Right now,
[size=+1] I'm seeking a lady... [Personal Ad][/size]

You can always PM Laurel to find the exact nature of the rejection.

 

[Colton_White]

You can always PM Laurel to find the exact nature of the rejection.

She hasn't yet replied to my previous PM [which was sent on around 10 March'08]

 

[wanderwonder]

If the technical aspects are getting in the way of your copious talent, go to the editor's forum and ask for help. They're there to give pointers and swift kicks in the pants.