New to Lit

[Youngman85]

Hi all,

I was wondering how one goes about becomeing a master? I have had the desire and the fantisies to become a master for a woman and I can't figure out the first step to take. Any advice would be very helpfull.

 

[FurryFury]

Welcome



I would suggest you read not just fantasies about BDSM but books, articles and posts on here.

That combined with meeting locals that are actually doing should lead you in the right direction. You might even find a mentor at a local, munch, demo, club or "play" party.

 

[VelvetDarkness]

Fury is right, the first thing you need to do is your homework. Before you take on the welfare of a woman prepared to submit to you, even for a casual encounter, you need to know the risks involved in anything you might be doing.

There is a designated BDSM personals forum where you can seek a submissive woman. There are also other sites like alt.com and collarme.com but I haven't used them myself. There are sites devoted to BDSM from a Master's perspective. Don't be afraid to learn from an experienced dominant, or even an experienced sub. It is possible to benefit from a sub's knowledge without it interfering with the dynamic. Be honest about what you are looking for, whether that is a long term relationship or something less involved.

Local groups and events are a good place to start. A munch is where like minded local lifestylers meet up for a few drinks. There's no fetishwear or play involved, just an opportunity to meet people and swap information. Demo's are at fetish/leather clubs where skills are exhibited e.g. japanese bondage or waxplay. You can meet people there and learn new skills. You can google for local events near you.

Basically, being a Master is whatever you choose to make it. BDSM covers a very broad spectrum of power exchange dynamics and kinky activities, everybody takes from it what works for them. If you are honest about what you would like in a submissive, there will be a woman out there whose interests complement your own, possibly a harem out there waiting for you.

There are very experienced dominant men who post here and a lot of what they say is very good advice born of personal experience. Everybody has to start somewhere and people here will offer support and a listening ear throughout every stage of your journey.

 

[MasterPhoenix]

Well I got my Master's degree at the University of Phoenix



(OK, bad play on words that I have always wanted to use)

There is no one way to become a Master, nor is there any course of study that will get you there. If you have a desire to be a Dominant and take control over another, you are embarking on a wonderful life-long journey of learning and pleasure. It is a journey without destination or path, but one that is to be enjoyed every step of the way.

As others have suggested, take the time to learn about what you are getting into, as the stakes are very high once you have a sub/slave or even a bottom under your care.

The first thing is to take control of yourself, because if you can't control yourself there is no way in hell you can control another. I was VERY fortunate in that my first sub is a switch and a great teacher. Even though we are not a couple we are VERY close friends, and she is VERY close friends with rose as well. Learn from every source you can. My PM box is open if you have questions. Read through Lit, read through a wide variety of sites, talk to people who are in the Lifestyle, keep your mind open.

For fear of this becoming another War and Peace length post, I will close it here... but there is just so much to say...

 

[sexycaz22]

Welcome to the thread.

I am also exploring my Domme side, and I was lucky enough to have found a lovely boy to allow me explore my Domme with him, and I am learning more and more about Topping him, but as yet, we have not played together, yet. (hopefully soon!)

Anyway, the point of my post - just take your time, explore and do your research on the internet, get books, and go to local munches etc.

I am sure someone will be along with the links to local groups, if you want to get out and meet people. A great help indeed!

All the best.

 

[WriterDom]

Primum non nocere

 

[chauderlos]

Primum non nocere

Are you a doctor, WD?

 

[WriterDom]

Are you a doctor, WD?

Not professionally. Just an amateur gynecologist specializing in healthy
attractive women.

 

[VelvetDarkness]

Not professionally. Just an amateur gynecologist specializing in healthy
attractive women.

ROFL

Think I might be needing a check-up WD, if you have any space in your very busy appointment book that is.

 

[Evil_Geoff]

Hi all,

I was wondering how one goes about becomeing a master? I have had the desire and the fantisies to become a master for a woman and I can't figure out the first step to take. Any advice would be very helpfull.

I wrote this in another thread... why re-invent the wheel?

Suggestion #1 - get out from behind the computer and get involved in the realtime BDSM community. There are groups all over the US, Canada, and around the world that provide education, support, and a safe way to meet others of like mind and similar interests.

To find local Munches, email groups, and events in your area, try:
SceneUSA - http://www.darkheart.com/sceneusa.html
Caryl's Page - http://www.drkdesyre.com/
The BDSM Events Page - http://www.thebdsmeventspage.com/ which has links to both organizations AND events.

Suggestion #2 - read books. REAL books. Not websites that are often full of romantic but kinky harlequin romance level nonsense or totally imagined fantasy porn bullshit. You can find some EXCELLENT learning material at Mystic Rose Books - http://www.mysticrose.com/
http://www.greenerypress.com/
http://www.daedaluspublishing.com/
http://powerexchangebooks.com/

Suggestion #3 - Avoid anyone who offers to be your "mentor" if they say anything about serving _them_, or about teaching you "the right way" or "the REAL way" or "the one true way" or anything similar. There's no such thing. There's what works for you and your partner(s) in YOUR relationships, there are very few "universal" truths in BDSM beyond "do what works for YOU".

Hope those help. Learning to seperate the real from the bullshit is tough for a new person in the lifestyle, learning to seperate the bullshitters and horney net geeks from the one's who actually have something worthwhile to share can be even tougher. Best of luck!

 

[sexycaz22]

I am sure someone will be along with the links to local groups, if you want to get out and meet people. A great help indeed!

When I was saying "someone", I was actually thinking of you EG, and surely enough, here you are, giving advice once again!

 

[WriterDom]

ROFL

Think I might be needing a check-up WD, if you have any space in your very busy appointment book that is.

Sure. I do pubococcygeus muscle testing, orgasmic response therapy, Yoni Massage, and pussy cropping.

 

[Youngman85]

Welcome



I would suggest you read not just fantasies about BDSM but books, articles and posts on here.

That combined with meeting locals that are actually doing should lead you in the right direction. You might even find a mentor at a local, munch, demo, club or "play" party.

Thanks! I have been reading a lot the fantasies here on Lit. But that only gives you a brief look at it all. I still have a lot of questions.

I was hopeing to meet locals here on lit too.

Thanks for the advice!

 

[Youngman85]

Thank you all for all your wonderful advice. I will see what I can find at the personals and then go from there.

 

[SexySlut8891]

I am new to Lit and would love to get started making friends of all kinds. Anyone in Ohio what to chat? Let me know. WE can swap #'s. I just love talking on the phone!