You might be a redneck...

[callinectes]

I found this at TheFrugalDomme.com while back when I first started posting. I put in the wrong place way back then and ended up deleting it..so you may or may not have seen it already.

You Might be a Redneck Master

If the floor of your dungeon is covered with oil slicks and grease stains, you just might be a redneck master.

If your idea of fetish gear is camouflage pants, NASCAR t-shirt, and baseball cap, you just might be a redneck master.

If the only submissive you play with is also your wife, your sister, and your aunt, you just might be a redneck master.

If you need to move carburetors and dead batteries to get at the St. Andrew's cross, you just might be a redneck master.

If you keep your crops in a rack on the rear window of the cab in your pick-up truck, you might just be a redneck master.

If your cane doubles as your CB antennae, you just might be a redneck master.

If your submissive sleeps outside in a cage and your hunting dogs share your bed, you just might be a redneck master.

If you repair your leather with duct tape, you might just be a redneck master.

If your idea of a quality leather shop is BillyJoeBob's Beer and Bait, you just might be a redneck master.

If you have ever had to take down the deer you were dressing in order to restrain your slave, you just might be a redneck master.


You Might be a Redneck Sub

If you have ever gone to a play party in curlers and a kerchief, you just might be a redneck sub.

If you count your spankings "1...2...3...the next number...the next number...the next number...", you just might be a redneck sub.

If your safeword is "cut it out or I'm tellin' Ma", you might just be redneck sub.

If you know what your Mistress expects from you by the way she belches, you just might be a redneck sub.

If your master tells you to fix him a steak, and you start by loading the shotgun, you just might be a redneck sub.

If fulfilling your master's every whim means picking up a 12-pack and changing the TV channels for him, you might just be a redneck sub.

If you have ever been bound and gagged in the bed of a rusty pick up truck, you just might be a redneck sub.

If you have ever tried to brighten the dungeon decor with a pair of pink flamigos, you just might be a redneck sub.

If you have ever had to use your safeword in order to spit tobacco juice, you just might be a redneck sub.

If you have ever used nipple clamps in order to remove tics from master's huntin' dogs, you just might be a redneck sub.

 

[BiBunny]

OMG! That's hilarious because I have a redneck Master, and he certainly has a redneck slave. Our fetish wear consists of John Deere hats (him) and horse t-shirts (me), LOL. One of the funniest things I can remember him doing was sending me a whole bunch of pictures he'd found somewhere and saying, "Look, pet, it's my two favorite things--bondage and tractors!" I had tears in my eyes from laughing at that one. We're definitely a redneck M/s couple, but we do try not to display it in public!

 

[Chicklet]

"Look, pet, it's my two favorite things--bondage and tractors!"

omfg

lmao

that's so, so funny.

 

[callinectes]

OMG! That's hilarious because I have a redneck Master, and he certainly has a redneck slave. Our fetish wear consists of John Deere hats (him) and horse t-shirts (me), LOL. One of the funniest things I can remember him doing was sending me a whole bunch of pictures he'd found somewhere and saying, "Look, pet, it's my two favorite things--bondage and tractors!" I had tears in my eyes from laughing at that one. We're definitely a redneck M/s couple, but we do try not to display it in public!

I'm right up there with you Bunny. Daddy doesn't hunt but I do..and we have learned tree stands can be used for many different things.

 

[BiBunny]

I'm right up there with you Bunny. Daddy doesn't hunt but I do..and we have learned tree stands can be used for many different things.

Dammit, now you've given me something new I want to try! I'm going to have a hell of a time distracting Master when he goes hunting, though...hmmm. This one's going to require some thought.

 

[callinectes]

Dammit, now you've given me something new I want to try! I'm going to have a hell of a time distracting Master when he goes hunting, though...hmmm. This one's going to require some thought.

Hee hee, might have to wait till after deer season is over. That gives you plenty of time to think of all kinds of fun!

 

[myinnerslut]

firstly, hilarious

I'm right up there with you Bunny. Daddy doesn't hunt but I do..and we have learned tree stands can be used for many different things.

secondly, i live in the suburbs, and have never been hunting in my life, so forgive my lack of hunting knowledge... whats a tree stand?

 

[SpectreT]

firstly, hilarious



secondly, i live in the suburbs, and have never been hunting in my life, so forgive my lack of hunting knowledge... whats a tree stand?

Kind of like it sounds - it's a platform you set up on a tree, so you're off the ground. I don't know all the advantages, but it's a particular favorite among bowhunters. My father was a licensed Bowhunting instructor when I was a kid - he also taught me archery, which I've only found useful for impressing and entertaining my friends. They're even harder to teach archery to than I was, I might add.

 

[jadefirefly]

Oh my goodness, this is great.

I'm a complete city girl, at heart, and the one about being tied in the bed of a pickup just made me twitch!!

 

[myinnerslut]

Kind of like it sounds - it's a platform you set up on a tree, so you're off the ground. I don't know all the advantages, but it's a particular favorite among bowhunters. My father was a licensed Bowhunting instructor when I was a kid - he also taught me archery, which I've only found useful for impressing and entertaining my friends. They're even harder to teach archery to than I was, I might add.

thanks

 

[Evil_Geoff]

You MIGHT Be a Redneck Master If...

your idea of foreplay is "Git in the truck, slut!"

 

[ghosst_K&H]

This subject was done 2 years ago, and had some quite funny responses. Unfortunately, suck at navagating the archives, so maybe one of our more tech literate members can dig it up out of the archives.

 

[BiBunny]

your idea of foreplay is "Git in the truck, slut!"

You mean all Doms don't say that? Dammit, I must be doing something wrong.

 

[Evil_Geoff]

You mean all Doms don't say that? Dammit, I must be doing something wrong.

*LOL*

Some of us don't _have_ trucks...

 

[BiBunny]

*LOL*

Some of us don't _have_ trucks...

Oh, so that explains it!

 

[jadefirefly]

*LOL*

Some of us don't _have_ trucks...

Whaddaya mean, ya ain't got a truck? How d'ye git the kids to work, then?

 

[WriterDom]

If the red circle on your sub's ass came from sitting on her can of Skoal

 

[Yang4yin]

You buy your beer because of the size and shape of the bottles.

 

[callinectes]

http://www.rinkworks.com/dialect/

It makes reading this thread a whole new experience.

 

[SydneyScorpio]

If you've been married four times, and you've still got the same in-laws, you might be a redneck. Jeff Foxworthy

 

[graceanne]

your idea of foreplay is "Git in the truck, slut!"

Or if your idea of divorce is 'git outta the truck, bitch'.

 

[notalwaysweak]

DEER SEASON!
SUB SEASON!
DEER SEASON!
SUB SEASON!

...okay, sub season.

 

[Desdemona]

My neck is red

"If you have ever tried to brighten the dungeon decor with a pair of pink flamigos, you just might be a redneck sub."

Our play space at the last house was lit by a pink flamingo LAMP with mardis gras beads around it's neck. It cast a pretty pink glow. If I laughed while looking at it, I was "punished". heh. How could I not laugh at that ridiculous object?

We still have that lamp. It's in the corner of his studio. We don't know where to put it in the current house, but for some reason, he has an emotional attatchment to the silly thing.

 

[WriterDom]

If you are too drunk to fish...

Observation not from personal experience but I think most redneck girls would respond well to a spanking.

 

[Desdemona]

If your idea of a romantic desert is

Sharing half of a watermelon, a salt shaker and 2 spoons. (Seed spitting competition and spoon fighting included. He won. He always wins.)

WD, your av today reminds me of how we spent part of our evening last night.