Sexual phrases that squick you out

[liqueur]

Here's your chance to let it out without being kind or diplomatic. Does some guy you know use a phrase relating to sex that he thinks is sexy as fuck (or funny) (or both), and when you hear it you just want to barf?

There are lots of them, I know, but I'll start it off with one I just encountered: “her bald juicy little monkey.” Wow! What a strike-out “bald,” I can live with, although it kind of looks like the top of Kojak’s head. “Juicy?” ehh, okay, I admit, I've been guilty of this once or twice.

But “monkey?” Monkey?!?!?
That's just plain diseased! Let me out of here!

 

[BillyWalrus]

Here's your chance to let it out without being kind or diplomatic. Does some guy you know use a phrase relating to sex that he thinks is sexy as fuck (or funny) (or both), and when you hear it you just want to barf?

There are lots of them, I know, but I'll start it off with one I just encountered: “her bald juicy little monkey.” Wow! What a strike-out “bald,” I can live with, although it kind of looks like the top of Kojak’s head. “Juicy?” ehh, okay, I admit, I've been guilty of this once or twice.

But “monkey?” Monkey?!?!?
That's just plain diseased! Let me out of here!

I guess it goes hand in hand with monkey sex.

 

[liqueur]

I guess it goes hand in hand with monkey sex.

Well, I actually had to look that one up. I'm okay with the thing . But the name? No thanks. (Maybe I'm prejudiced against monkeys)

 

[BillyWalrus]

Well, I actually had to look that one up. I'm okay with the thing . But the name? No thanks. (Maybe I'm predicted against monkeys)

Monkeys in general are bad news. They are malevolent creatures that routinely attack humans. Of course it's possible the humans deserve it most of the time. One of my children has been attacked by monkeys several times.

 

[liqueur]

Monkeys in general are bad news. They are malevolent creatures that routinely attack humans. Of course it's possible the humans deserve it most of the time. One of my children has been attacked by monkeys several times.

I hope they were ok. I don't know if there have been horror movies made about monkeys, but if not, I'm surprised. A whole generation of children were traumatized by the flying monkeys in The Wizard of Oz.

 

[BillyWalrus]

I hope they were ok. I don't know if there have been horror movies made about monkeys, but if not, I'm surprised. A whole generation of children were traumatized by the flying monkeys in The Wizard of Oz.

I think there is a reason they were flying monkeys and not flying koala bears! They knew!

 

[pinkparkhorse]

Monkeys in general are bad news. They are malevolent creatures that routinely attack humans. Of course it's possible the humans deserve it most of the time. One of my children has been attacked by monkeys several times.

I once read about a bunch of monkeys going into an office building, picking a guy up, and throwing him out the window.

 

[jbird4]

I was literally going to say monkeys have been known to swoop down and steal little dogs too.

 

[BillyWalrus]

I once read about a bunch of monkeys going into an office building, picking a guy up, and throwing him out the window.

It doesn't surprise me in the slightest. Planet of the Apes? No, Planet of the Monkeys is the real horror flick!

 

[Matty01]

I heard back in the 60s the same Monkeys pinched a couple of guitars and a drum set and made a few crap records. Hey Hey.

 

[STRC]

I heard back in the 60s the same Monkeys pinched a couple of guitars and a drum set and made a few crap records. Hey Hey.

Okay you guys enough with the Monkey Business......my S.O. will say about when she is ready to cum, "that pussy is going to suck your dick dry baby"........and then I am on my way......I'm a goner.......

 

[liqueur]

I once read about a bunch of monkeys going into an office building, picking a guy up, and throwing him out the window.

They probably wanted to see if he could fly.

 

[liqueur]

I heard back in the 60s the same Monkeys pinched a couple of guitars and a drum set and made a few crap records. Hey Hey.

Urk!

 

[Shaglus_Ziegler]

Monkeys in general are bad news. They are malevolent creatures that routinely attack humans. Of course it's possible the humans deserve it most of the time. One of my children has been attacked by monkeys several times.

What’s the body count of dead monkeys from humans vs dead humans from monkeys?

 

[liqueur]

What’s the body count of dead monkeys from humans vs dead humans from monkeys?

Not to mention that people eat monkeys... Seems next door to cannibalism to me.

 

[ConsiderateBeast]

"Cum dumpster". Please.

Not keen on "nub" neither

 

[liqueur]

Thank you. “cum dumpster” is so incredibly popular that I thought I was the only one who dislikes the term.

I'm not familiar with “nub.”

 

[Dnthmn_19]

I'm so sick of reading shit like "Fuccccckkkkk" or "Ohmigoddddddd." And, do gay men truly address each other as "You cocksucker" and "You sissy bitch" and crap like that?

 

[LeSabreur]

"Cum dumpster". Please.

Not keen on "nub" neither

I had a roommate who called his girlfriend a "sperm toilet."

 

[liqueur]

I'm so sick of reading shit like "Fuccccckkkkk" or "Ohmigoddddddd."

Yeah, that's kind of Valley Girl talk, isn't it?

And, do gay men truly address each other as "You cocksucker" and "You sissy bitch" and crap like that?

Sure, in the appropriate context. For sure NOT in routine contexts.

 

[liqueur]

I had a roommate who called his girlfriend a "sperm toilet."