"A great build up interrupted by a bucket of cold water"

[crookedletter]

Thread title is a quote from a comment I received on a recent story. I'm not here to complain about it or disagree with it, just raising a philosophical question about rising and falling tensions in a story. In part because in the story I'm currently working on -- and, I hope, nearing the finish line -- I'm kind of doing it again.

Both the story in question and the one I'm working on are quite long, longer than I initially intended them to be. The previous one is 23.7K works, the new one will likely top that by the end. I suppose they'd both be what you call "slow burn": the sexual tension steadily builds, is resisted, etc. etc., reaches a boiling point, and then...

Then my impulse is to pull back on it. Throw cold water on it, in the words of the commenter. I think the impulse comes more from instinct than from something calculated -- I just feel it's not time yet. It's as if there's a porn writer waiting somewhere for the go ahead from the more story-oriented writer:

Porn writer: Now?

Story writer: Not yet...

The tension pays off eventually, I let the porn guy loose to do his thing. In my mind, at least, it's a better payoff when it's stymied for a time. It's kind of the erotica equivalent of the rom-com formula, where there's always a downturn, a falling out, before someone has to run through the airport and give their big speech for the characters to reconcile.

I'm curious if this is something you all have played with in erotica, or if you prefer a more direct line of rising action leading to... climax.

(note: it's very possible some readers' issues with my pacing/tension has more to do with clumsy execution than any philosophical issue with that formula, but for the sake of argument let's assume I pulled it off)

 

[MrHereWriting]

TV Shows do this all the time.

Rachel and Ross, they tease them getting together, they stop it, they tease it, they stop it, they give their audience hope, building the tension to the point where the audience is ready to say "Fuck you guys, I'm moving on to a different show" then they get them together...but, to make TV interesting, they give them some happiness only to break them apart because a happy couple is less interesting than two people struggling with their emotions.

 

[cw5523729]

Thread title is a quote from a comment I received on a recent story. I'm not here to complain about it or disagree with it, just raising a philosophical question about rising and falling tensions in a story. In part because in the story I'm currently working on -- and, I hope, nearing the finish line -- I'm kind of doing it again.

Both the story in question and the one I'm working on are quite long, longer than I initially intended them to be. The previous one is 23.7K works, the new one will likely top that by the end. I suppose they'd both be what you call "slow burn": the sexual tension steadily builds, is resisted, etc. etc., reaches a boiling point, and then...

Then my impulse is to pull back on it. Throw cold water on it, in the words of the commenter. I think the impulse comes more from instinct than from something calculated -- I just feel it's not time yet. It's as if there's a porn writer waiting somewhere for the go ahead from the more story-oriented writer:

Porn writer: Now?

Story writer: Not yet...

The tension pays off eventually, I let the porn guy loose to do his thing. In my mind, at least, it's a better payoff when it's stymied for a time. It's kind of the erotica equivalent of the rom-com formula, where there's always a downturn, a falling out, before someone has to run through the airport and give their big speech for the characters to reconcile.

I'm curious if this is something you all have played with in erotica, or if you prefer a more direct line of rising action leading to... climax.

(note: it's very possible some readers' issues with my pacing/tension has more to do with clumsy execution than any philosophical issue with that formula, but for the sake of argument let's assume I pulled it off)

One of the first stories I published on here ended on what was essentially a cliffhanger. I got a lot of flack for it but that was simply how the story played out. The story goes where the story goes. Trying to force it to make everyone happy guarantees that no one will be happy because the story will suck.

 

[AwkwardlySet]

The build up of emotions and tension is what gives weight to the eventual climax. I rarely enjoy stories or scenes that just dive into it without any built up tension.

 

[TheLobster]

A bucket of water that is not too cold, maybe just a little chilly or tepid, could serve to lengthen the tension and make the payoff much more satisfying. Readers do appreciate that, in my experience.

However, if the fire fizzles out completely and you have to build it back from scratch, then I can see how it would not be welcomed well. The slow burn must stay burning; don't extinguish it frivolously.

 

[Levorotatory]

It is the classic rom-com formula. It works well, but rom-com producers string it out until the audience gets tired of it, ratings drop, and they stop getting paid to produce more episodes. Try not to do that to your story.

 

[cw5523729]

It is the classic rom-com formula. It works well, but rom-com producers string it out until the audience gets tired of it, ratings drop, and they stop getting paid to produce more episodes. Try not to do that to your story.

I mean, will they or won't they already? Just get on with it!!!

 

[ElectricBlue]

I'm curious if this is something you all have played with in erotica, or if you prefer a more direct line of rising action leading to... climax.

I have several stories where the characters aren't quite ready to fall into bed, so they do something else until they are. It's why so many of my stories have cafés, restaurants, and road trips. The end is always more satisfying if it takes a while to get there.

 

[NotWise]

One unknown reader's comment isn't a good basis for decisions. The comment sounds like you went too far into the buildup for that reader before you backed out. You have to judge for yourself whether that's true. You can ask for input from some trusted reader.

If you get multiple comments like that, then maybe you should pay more attention.

 

[crookedletter]

I did have a few other comments to that effect. My conclusion -- right or wrong -- is that this was a matter of execution, not necessarily the very idea of pulling back on the tension at the point of its potential relief.

In all honesty I did kind of rush the ending because I wanted to get the story in for a contest deadline. I wasn't surprised by those comments (though they were largely positive, despite that complaint).

The reason I thread about it in a more general sense is less about that individual story and more for thoughts on that technique -- teasing out tension, pulling it back, having a little falling action before it rises again to the climax.

 

[MillieDynamite]

TV Shows do this all the time.

Rachel and Ross, they tease them getting together, they stop it, they tease it, they stop it, they give their audience hope, building the tension to the point where the audience is ready to say "Fuck you guys, I'm moving on to a different show" then they get them together...but, to make TV interesting, they give them some happiness only to break them apart because a happy couple is less interesting than two people struggling with their emotions.

 

[AwkwardMD]

Thread title is a quote from a comment I received on a recent story. I'm not here to complain about it or disagree with it, just raising a philosophical question about rising and falling tensions in a story. In part because in the story I'm currently working on -- and, I hope, nearing the finish line -- I'm kind of doing it again.

Both the story in question and the one I'm working on are quite long, longer than I initially intended them to be. The previous one is 23.7K works, the new one will likely top that by the end. I suppose they'd both be what you call "slow burn": the sexual tension steadily builds, is resisted, etc. etc., reaches a boiling point, and then...

Then my impulse is to pull back on it. Throw cold water on it, in the words of the commenter. I think the impulse comes more from instinct than from something calculated -- I just feel it's not time yet. It's as if there's a porn writer waiting somewhere for the go ahead from the more story-oriented writer:

Porn writer: Now?

Story writer: Not yet...

The tension pays off eventually, I let the porn guy loose to do his thing. In my mind, at least, it's a better payoff when it's stymied for a time. It's kind of the erotica equivalent of the rom-com formula, where there's always a downturn, a falling out, before someone has to run through the airport and give their big speech for the characters to reconcile.

I'm curious if this is something you all have played with in erotica, or if you prefer a more direct line of rising action leading to... climax.

(note: it's very possible some readers' issues with my pacing/tension has more to do with clumsy execution than any philosophical issue with that formula, but for the sake of argument let's assume I pulled it off)

All due respect to those who have chimed in, but this sounds like the kind of thing that might benefit from someone reading the thing and, with this question in mind, giving you an unbiased opinion.

You have a few options.

 

[Britva415]

Slowing things down is fine, but it shouldn't come off like a bucket of cold water.

On the other hand, readers sometimes overreact and exaggerate, so, who's to say whether it was written clumsily or not.

There are also certain stories which are served by an abrupt bucket of cold water. But that should be deliberate and for a good, plot-serving reason. Not by-accident.

 

[NaughteeDragon]

my opinion on backing off tension is 2 steps forward, 1 step back. You can go more forward, but you should not back off more than half your build up unless that is the point of the story.
Just be careful not to back off once it’s too late. At that point you’re better off going through and then pulling back. Many years ago I read a story where a brother and sister keep getting closer and closer during lock down. They go through with it and then discover it was not magical and perfect. They back off, but then move forward because they found they missed the closeness of the buildup.