Cock Talk

[MindYaBitness]

Yes. I've seen Eva's video. It inspired me to get on PornHub for pumpkin carving inspo. I personally have not pegged a pumpkin. A pumpkin has never asked me to.

I bet that if you took enough of the aforementioned shrooms, a friendly pumpkin would be begging to be pegged in no time!

 

[Taegul]

@Wand3rlust

Thank you for resharing this once again. I was just advancing with my therapist to the point where I could go into the produce section at the grocery store again. It's like months of expensive therapy flushed down the toilet within seconds. Not to mention bringing back my showeraphobia. I guess it's months worth of Dude Wipes for me again...

 

[hotwords229_A]

It amuses me that this is your focus.

I’m very concerned about the roughness of the wood!

I personally have not pegged a pumpkin. A pumpkin has never asked me to.

I can’t imagine what she’s getting out of this, but it’s working for me!

 

[Endless_Night]

I personally have not pegged a pumpkin. A pumpkin has never asked me to.

Okay. I laughed.

I’m very concerned about the roughness of the wood!

Noted.

 

[MindYaBitness]

One Sexy We-atch!

According to the internet, witches are depicted as riding brooms because, well, they basically masturbated with them by putting hallucinogenic ointments on the end and inserting them in the vagina or rectum.

I don’t know if this is true, but it seems to account for the Witch’s Brews, Broomsticks, and “flying” (hallucinations), mythologies.

This is also a time before fine grit sandpaper, so I’m a little concerned about this. Although I haven’t consulted WedMD, I assume they would be against this as a form of masturbation.

I've seen that too, but I ain't buying it. The iconic black pointed hat is believed to be derived from that of women who were "beer wives", one of the few non-sex trade professions women could have to support themselves. So, of course, old timey folks had to demonize it. And, when will men understand that the fun of sex usually has more to do with our external bits than internal anatomy? If they were trying to make witches sexual deviants they'd be better off depicting them flicking their bean with skeletal fingers than risking chafing & splinters in the vag.

Have you inserted something “interesting” in your vagina or butthole? How’d that go?

Does the idea of a woman greasing the knob of a broom and riding it turn you on?

Not even a little bit, my vag is cringing at the thought

Does the thought of sticking a dick in a pumpkin excite you? Have you done it, or seen it done?

No, but there was a book at Barnes & Noble, years ago, on how to make your own sex toys. It had simple instructions to make a gourdy-hole and even recommended that you heat it in the microwave for a bit for a more realistic feel, but cautioned not to leave it in too long as to avoid burning your weiner.

What’s the strangest thing you ever stuck in your butt? If nothing, are you willing to try? What would you suggest someone put in their butt as a first time adventure?

I've never put anything up there. And, as a former paramedic, I recommend you don't either unless it is explicitly made to be. No one is buying your story about falling on your shampoo bottle, mason jar, Barbie, light bulb...

Have you had sex on hallucinogenics? Good? Bad?

I haven't, but my spouse's therapist is likely using some kind of psychedelic for treatment, so we'll see

Have you ever roleplayed as a empowered witch who has power over her partner (or been that partner)? If not, why not and shouldn’t you?

Um, no, my vanilla spouse would immediately be weirded out

If you had Witch power over someone, let’s say Hotwords, what would you do to him?

Hmm, if I had such a power, and in this scenario consent was somehow complied, I'd use it for two gentlemen to pleasure me at once, without either a)being weirded out if they touched the other guy, or b) getting turned on by the other guy. If make it an all-about-me party

 

[Endless_Night]

No, but there was a book at Barnes & Noble, years ago, on how to make your own sex toys. It had simple instructions to make a gourdy-hole and even recommended that you heat it in the microwave for a bit for a more realistic feel, but cautioned not to leave it in too long as to avoid burning your weiner.

 

[Treeview]

Thats online...google it

 

[MindYaBitness]

me & my friends were all young moms at the time. We laughed our asses off reading that book in the little café inside B&N. Just the image of any of our husbands crouched over schtooping a pumpkin or butternut squash was too much to bear

 

[Artfan2]

Why have one when we can have fun?
View attachment 2570448

I'm hoping that this eventually led to everyone stripping down and jumping over the fire naked.

 

[Mei5ter]

schtooping a pumpkin or butternut squash

Nutbutter squash, surely?

 

[Mei5ter]

One Sexy We-atch!

According to the internet.

Yeah. Stop right there, sunshine.

witches are depicted as riding brooms because, well, they basically masturbated with them by putting hallucinogenic ointments on the end and inserting them in the vagina or rectum.

I don’t know if this is true, but it seems to account for the Witch’s Brews, Broomsticks, and “flying” (hallucinations), mythologies.

I have just mopped my kitchen floor. (True).

This experience has not left me with an inexplicable urge to lubricate the end of the handle with a topical hallucinogen and fly my butt to heaven and back with it. I had a nice cup of tea, a sit down, and a sultana cookie from M&S. I don't see why any witch would settle for anything less

This is also a time before fine grit sandpaper, so I’m a little concerned about this.

Okay. Here I'm with you, though I'm not sure that's why "splinter dick" is used as an insult. But go on...

Although I haven’t consulted WedMD,

The marriage doctor? Okay...

I assume they would be against this as a form of masturbation.

I have a suspicion you're right here.

Have you inserted something “interesting” in your vagina or butthole? How’d that go?

Define interesting? And, presumably, inwards.

Does the idea of a woman greasing the knob of a broom and riding it turn you on?

Frankly, if you asked me to imagine a woman lubricating a knob prior to riding it, a broom wouldn't be my go-to knob.

Does the thought of sticking a dick in a pumpkin excite you? Have you done it, or seen it done?

I can think of a few complete dicks I'd cheerfully dump head first in a pumpkin, but that would be satisfying rather than exciting.

What’s the strangest thing you ever stuck in your butt?

I have not stuck anything strange in my butt.

If nothing, are you willing to try? What would you suggest someone put in their butt as a first time adventure?

Finger, tongue, toy designed for the purpose...I'm not going to be sued for suggesting something silly and finding someone on Lit didn't get the point. Or did get the point but...anyway. Do good butt, people.

Have you had sex

I'm trying to remember...

on hallucinogenics?

...and that's not why I'm forgetting.

Good? Bad?

I like my brain, even if not everyone else does. I like staying in control of it, please.

Have you ever roleplayed as a empowered witch who has power over her partner (or been that partner)? If not, why not and shouldn’t you?

I have dressed up as the Duchess in Alice in Wonderland and been reasonably convincing (even if the pig upstaged me). But I'm not sure I could role-play a witch.

If you had Witch power over someone, let’s say Hotwords, what would you do to him?

Make him a nice cup of tea, suggest he has a sit down and a sultana cookie, and doesn't look at that webpage again.