... Get Your Spouse to Admit to Cheating

[PierceDe]

This question is especially for those who have managed to get the confession!

It's rarely a matter of walking in on them naked...
Say he/she hasn't admitted it yet. How is it done? What if there isn't much evidence? What's the best timing? The best approach? What if they deflect or throw the accusation back at you?

What about when it happened a long time ago? What if it was only once? There are so many confounding factors.

In my novel the husband confronts his wife with her fling app profile, he only looked for upon seeing too many ads related to it in her 1st language. Smoking gun. What are some other real life confession-getters?! If you don't have any of your own, what about people you know...

 

[Sarmad_bi]

if my wife cheated on me...I would first ask why she is cheating?
if it is love/hate issue then I think we need to work out why she does not love me any more and what we could do
But if she cheat just to have some pleasure, then I will be more understanding and to be hones I would ask for more juicy details.
I might show some discomfort and anger, but inside I will be turned on so much.

 

[curioustxn]

This question is especially for those who have managed to get the confession!

It's rarely a matter of walking in on them naked...
Say he/she hasn't admitted it yet. How is it done? What if there isn't much evidence? What's the best timing? The best approach? What if they deflect or throw the accusation back at you?

What about when it happened a long time ago? What if it was only once? There are so many confounding factors.

In my novel the husband confronts his wife with her fling app profile, he only looked for upon seeing too many ads related to it in her 1st language. Smoking gun. What are some other real life confession-getters?! If you don't have any of your own, what about people you know...

Most women are afraid if they confess an affair, it will end their marriage. If you want a woman to confess her cheating, she is more likely to do so if she thinks hearing about her sexual adventures, (while intimate with her), turns you on. Keep in mind, getting a woman to confess takes a tremendous amount of trust on her part, and that takes time and patience.

 

[PierceDe]

Most women are afraid if they confess an affair, it will end their marriage. If you want a woman to confess her cheating, she is more likely to do so if she thinks hearing about her sexual adventures, (while intimate with her), turns you on. Keep in mind, getting a woman to confess takes a tremendous amount of trust on her part, and that takes time and patience.

Would it be helpful to drop it "If you ever cheated on me I would just want to know, I wouldn't divorce you because of it." and "It's not too late the tell the truth about an affair or fling until the spouse finds out on their own." ??

 

[curioustxn]

Would it be helpful to drop it "If you ever cheated on me I would just want to know, I wouldn't divorce you because of it." and "It's not too late the tell the truth about an affair or fling until the spouse finds out on their own." ??

If it were me, I think it might be better to encourage her to share stories about sexual relationships *before* they met. (Those confessions are less risky on her part), and let those confessions evolve into more recent sexual adventures. Telling a woman that she can trust you, doesn't mean she will. A woman needs to *see* trust build in real time. Her trust will build as she sees her man get aroused by her stories.

 

[PierceDe]

So far I've got the hypothetical if it were me guys (who are great, I'm one of you). What about people who have gotten a confession IRL?

 

[curioustxn]

So far I've got the hypothetical if it were me guys (who are great, I'm one of you). What about people who have gotten a confession IRL?

I'm not sure what answer(s) you are looking for, but since you mentioned *your novel*, I will assume you are looking for information to make your story believable.

When a man discovers his wife is cheating, usually he will react in known ways:

1. He may be tired of his wife, and see her infidelity as a way to get out of his marriage.

2. He may be hurt/humiliated to the point that he can't overcome his anger, and divorce her.

or

3. Even though hurt and angry, he may find the mental image of his wife in bed with another man arousing.

The first two scenarios are common, and would make a very short and boring story; however, if a man finds the mental image of his lovely wife taking the hard cock of another man arousing, his desire to be aroused by her infidelity can overcome his hurt/humiliation.

If he is insecure about his own masculinity, his marriage might evolve, (or devolve, depending on your point of view), into a cuckold marriage. However, cuckold stories can be short and repetitive.

If a man is a bit devious and manipulative, once he overcomes his anger and humiliation, he may focus on his arousal at this new development in his marriage, and decide to groom, (manipulate), his wife into a new sexual experience for himself. This scenario can have endless possibilities.

 

[PierceDe]

I'm not sure what answer(s) you are looking for, but since you mentioned *your novel*, I will assume you are looking for information to make your story believable.

When a man discovers his wife is cheating, usually he will react in known ways:

1. He may be tired of his wife, and see her infidelity as a way to get out of his marriage.

2. He may be hurt/humiliated to the point that he can't overcome his anger, and divorce her.

or

3. Even though hurt and angry, he may find the mental image of his wife in bed with another man arousing.

The first two scenarios are common, and would make a very short and boring story; however, if a man finds the mental image of his lovely wife taking the hard cock of another man arousing, his desire to be aroused by her infidelity can overcome his hurt/humiliation.

If he is insecure about his own masculinity, his marriage might evolve, (or devolve, depending on your point of view), into a cuckold marriage. However, cuckold stories can be short and repetitive.

If a man is a bit devious and manipulative, once he overcomes his anger and humiliation, he may focus on his arousal at this new development in his marriage, and decide to groom, (manipulate), his wife into a new sexual experience for himself. This scenario can have endless possibilities.

Thank you,

There is the novel-craft. I would like to hear how real men got the confession. I talked to another friendly poster/author here at Literotica who essentially got the confession immediately afterward and without having to catch her in it... and they didn't divorce at all but started a kind of open-with-rules marriage. Great real life input, but I wonder how it has gone for others.

And then of course there is the personal importance beyond my writing. I wonder if my wife has ever cheated, and then I wonder if she would ever admit it without me catching her red-handed.

I tend to agree with your 3 typical reactions. I think the no-divorce route is way more common than we might grasp. I think a lot more cheating spouses would let it out if they knew how unlikely it was their spouse would LEAVE. I spoke with another fella some months ago who had a drunken "mistake" and told his wife immediately sure she was going to pack up and file. Instead she told him since he had only cheated once and was straightforward in letting her know, she would pick the time and place to reciprocally cheat on him only once and then tell him. (major boner hearing that, btw).
So there are myriad ways the cheated-on-spouse reacts. But back to my question; how do these confessions happen!?

 

[curioustxn]

I talked to another friendly poster/author here at Literotica who essentially got the confession immediately afterward and without having to catch her in it... and they didn't divorce at all but started a kind of open-with-rules marriage.

When a divorce happens, it blows-up life for all parties involved. (Property settlement, anger on the part of both, children, if involved, choosing one parent over the other, etc.) When cheating occurs, most mature couples find a way to work it out instead of having to start their life over from scratch.

 

[LearningToLove]

Thank you,

There is the novel-craft. I would like to hear how real men got the confession. I talked to another friendly poster/author here at Literotica who essentially got the confession immediately afterward and without having to catch her in it... and they didn't divorce at all but started a kind of open-with-rules marriage. Great real life input, but I wonder how it has gone for others.

And then of course there is the personal importance beyond my writing. I wonder if my wife has ever cheated, and then I wonder if she would ever admit it without me catching her red-handed.

I tend to agree with your 3 typical reactions. I think the no-divorce route is way more common than we might grasp. I think a lot more cheating spouses would let it out if they knew how unlikely it was their spouse would LEAVE. I spoke with another fella some months ago who had a drunken "mistake" and told his wife immediately sure she was going to pack up and file. Instead she told him since he had only cheated once and was straightforward in letting her know, she would pick the time and place to reciprocally cheat on him only once and then tell him. (major boner hearing that, btw).
So there are myriad ways the cheated-on-spouse reacts. But back to my question; how do these confessions happen!?

Speaking from the ex-husband point of view, the first time I found out anything was finding a poem in her purse she had recently written about an intimate encounter. This wasn't enough. I began watching her pattern of life, then when it went outside that pattern, pay closer attention. Now-a-days, that's easier with find friends, or texts at odd times, or texts when she didn't expect we would be together.

For me, it was a cumulative and overwhelming amount of evidence I got before I ever confronted her. Then when I did, I presented one obvious, that I knew she would deflect, then another, again a weaker deflection, then all the rest, all at once, one after another, printed on paper, notation of copy 1/3 intentionally printed on the cover page as I handed her the stack of evidence along with all the stories I got from each of her friends, each of whom knew only a small part of her story, as she was trying to look like the "good guy" to each of them. Now, had this happened to the "now" me, I would have taken Sun Tsu's advice from "The Art of War" and given her a way out. I didn't. I cornered her so hard that she had a breakdown right in front of me and I let it happen with not a little bit of satisfaction that the ruse was over. We didn't last long after that.

Thank you,

There is the novel-craft. I would like to hear how real men got the confession. I talked to another friendly poster/author here at Literotica who essentially got the confession immediately afterward and without having to catch her in it... and they didn't divorce at all but started a kind of open-with-rules marriage. Great real life input, but I wonder how it has gone for others.

And then of course there is the personal importance beyond my writing. I wonder if my wife has ever cheated, and then I wonder if she would ever admit it without me catching her red-handed.

I tend to agree with your 3 typical reactions. I think the no-divorce route is way more common than we might grasp. I think a lot more cheating spouses would let it out if they knew how unlikely it was their spouse would LEAVE. I spoke with another fella some months ago who had a drunken "mistake" and told his wife immediately sure she was going to pack up and file. Instead she told him since he had only cheated once and was straightforward in letting her know, she would pick the time and place to reciprocally cheat on him only once and then tell him. (major boner hearing that, btw).
So there are myriad ways the cheated-on-spouse reacts. But back to my question; how do these confessions happen!?

Speaking from the ex-husband point of view, the first time I found out anything was finding a poem in her purse she had recently written about an intimate encounter. This wasn't enough. I began watching her pattern of life, then when it went outside that pattern, pay closer attention. Now-a-days, that's easier with find friends, or texts at odd times, or texts when she didn't expect we would be together.

For me, it was a cumulative and overwhelming amount of evidence I got before I ever confronted her. Then when I did, I presented one obvious, that I knew she would deflect, then another, again a weaker deflection, then all the rest, all at once, one after another, printed on paper, notation of copy 1/3 intentionally printed on the cover page as I handed her the stack of evidence along with all the stories I got from each of her friends, each of whom knew only a small part of her story, as she was trying to look like the "good guy" to each of them. Now, had this happened to the "now" me, I would have taken Sun Tsu's advice from "The Art of War" and given her a way out. I didn't. I cornered her so hard that she had a breakdown right in front of me and I let it happen with not a little bit of satisfaction that the ruse was over, and all her friends knew how she had manipulated them. We didn't last long after that. She lost most of her friends too. We separated, waiting on a divorce and the final coup de gras was I had a fun fling with one of her friends.

 

[LearningToLove]

Thank you,

There is the novel-craft. I would like to hear how real men got the confession. I talked to another friendly poster/author here at Literotica who essentially got the confession immediately afterward and without having to catch her in it... and they didn't divorce at all but started a kind of open-with-rules marriage. Great real life input, but I wonder how it has gone for others.

And then of course there is the personal importance beyond my writing. I wonder if my wife has ever cheated, and then I wonder if she would ever admit it without me catching her red-handed.

I tend to agree with your 3 typical reactions. I think the no-divorce route is way more common than we might grasp. I think a lot more cheating spouses would let it out if they knew how unlikely it was their spouse would LEAVE. I spoke with another fella some months ago who had a drunken "mistake" and told his wife immediately sure she was going to pack up and file. Instead she told him since he had only cheated once and was straightforward in letting her know, she would pick the time and place to reciprocally cheat on him only once and then tell him. (major boner hearing that, btw).
So there are myriad ways the cheated-on-spouse reacts. But back to my question; how do these confessions happen!?

Speaking from the ex-husband point of view, the first time I found out anything was finding a poem in her purse she had recently written about an intimate encounter. This wasn't enough. I began watching her pattern of life, then when it went outside that pattern, pay closer attention. Now-a-days, that's easier with find friends, or texts at odd times, or texts when she didn't expect we would be together.

For me, it was a cumulative and overwhelming amount of evidence I got before I ever confronted her. Then when I did, I presented one obvious, that I knew she would deflect, then another, again a weaker deflection, then all the rest, all at once, one after another, printed on paper, notation of copy 1/3 intentionally printed on the cover page as I handed her the stack of evidence along with all the stories I got from each of her friends, each of whom knew only a small part of her story, as she was trying to look like the "good guy" to each of them. Now, had this happened to the "now" me, I would have taken Sun Tsu's advice from "The Art of War" and given her a way out. I didn't. I cornered her so hard that she had a breakdown right in front of me and I let it happen with not a little bit of satisfaction that the ruse was over, and all her friends knew how she had manipulated them. We didn't last long after that. She lost most of her friends too. We separated, waiting on a divorce and the final coup de gras was I had a fun fling with one of her friends.

 

[PierceDe]

Speaking from the ex-husband point of view, the first time I found out anything was finding a poem in her purse she had recently written about an intimate encounter. This wasn't enough. I began watching her pattern of life, then when it went outside that pattern, pay closer attention. Now-a-days, that's easier with find friends, or texts at odd times, or texts when she didn't expect we would be together.

For me, it was a cumulative and overwhelming amount of evidence I got before I ever confronted her. Then when I did, I presented one obvious, that I knew she would deflect, then another, again a weaker deflection, then all the rest, all at once, one after another, printed on paper, notation of copy 1/3 intentionally printed on the cover page as I handed her the stack of evidence along with all the stories I got from each of her friends, each of whom knew only a small part of her story, as she was trying to look like the "good guy" to each of them. Now, had this happened to the "now" me, I would have taken Sun Tsu's advice from "The Art of War" and given her a way out. I didn't. I cornered her so hard that she had a breakdown right in front of me and I let it happen with not a little bit of satisfaction that the ruse was over, and all her friends knew how she had manipulated them. We didn't last long after that. She lost most of her friends too. We separated, waiting on a divorce and the final coup de gras was I had a fun fling with one of her friends.

I have so many questions.

How long had she cheated? How many paramours? Who? How did she hide it? What was each piece of evidence you had?