I dare you to read this thread

[Him15]

Hello! HelloO! HELLO! (it works a lot better if you imagine me dressed as the fat lady singing that from inside a giant clam. Where exactly did I get a giant clam from or a Viking costume you may ask? Ebay probably. Do people even still use ebay?

About me, blah blah, awesome, blah blah interesting, blayaaaawn. That’s right these personal ads are almost always boring and cliché and quite frankly where is the fun in that? Life is about fun so let’s proceed to add a little more to it. Moore fun = more life and that isn’t my argument its math. Don’t argue with Math... it wins.

Anyways where to start, how about a list, everyone loves lists. You can never have too many poorly thought out lists.

Number !. First I should establish the ground rule that any question you have I will answer regardless of what it is or pertains to.

NUMBER @. I like fun and im very bored. I see no reason for this to continue and neither should you.
NUMBer #. My interests are pretty much everything, if you want more specifics… Well everything minus spiders. Ok that isn’t particularly true either as spiders work on blood hydrolics. But they are creepy.

nuMBER $ I lied, I am also not interested in reality tv with no educational purpose. Im aware this makes me an unreliable narrator. But so is Don Quixote and thats a literary classic. So i feel this puts me in good company.

nUmBeR % have you realized I am not using numbers in this list yet?

NuMbEr ^. Look down at your keyboard, now look at the screen, now back at the keyboard. The symbols do correspond it’s a code. A very very lazy code. Im brilliant, it doesn’t mean I am intellectually engaged to this. Just making sure you are paying attention.

Nuwber &. Ok if you made it this far you deserve a price. My name is Tim it is a pleasure to have you reading my add. That also wasn't a typo. Exchanging of names holds immense metaphysical and cultural value.

NumBer <.>. I find people fascinating so most like I find you fascinating, interesting and a whole host of other good adjectives.

Number 9. Wow why are you still reading this? I checked out 2 bullet points ago and I'm the one writing it. This time you do deserve a prize. https://media.istockphoto.com/id/18...=xb3glKUq2eeRDxlTduUtFvTkYsErM9xCBKzAMMEvNYY=

) number. Seriously ask me ANY QUESTION
Hope to hear from whoever and at some undisclosed time. Hopefully soon.

 

[Him15]

I refuse to beleive no one read and commented

 

[GriffinTheGryphon]

To be fair, it does read a bit "drunk and won't remember I wrote this in the morning". But in a fun way, imo! Is this what they mean when they talk about people who're "high on life"? Y'know, they. Those people. They say stuff like that, not me. I've never said anything like that in my life. Honestly, some people! :V

So alright, you want a question, here's a question: Why's your image link throwing a 400 Bad Request error? I kinda wanted to see what it was, because based on the post it was in there's equal chances it was a meme, a stock photo of a guy giving a thumbs-up, or porn. And dangit I wanted to know which!

 

[Him15]

That is an excellent question... I actually have no idea why its doing that. It was a picture of an adorable kitten, the true reason behind the internet existing.

And I always remember what I did in the morning regardless of level of inebriation.

 

[Him15]

To be fair, it does read a bit "drunk and won't remember I wrote this in the morning". But in a fun way, imo! Is this what they mean when they talk about people who're "high on life"? Y'know, they. Those people. They say stuff like that, not me. I've never said anything like that in my life. Honestly, some people! :V

So alright, you want a question, here's a question: Why's your image link throwing a 400 Bad Request error? I kinda wanted to see what it was, because based on the post it was in there's equal chances it was a meme, a stock photo of a guy giving a thumbs-up, or porn. And dangit I wanted to know which!

Wait are you never high on life?

 

[GriffinTheGryphon]

Okay I'll count "cute kitten photo" under "meme" and say I called it, there was a time in internet history where "meme" and "kitten photo" were basically the same thing! Definitely am not stretching the definition like taffy in order to secure a minor personal victory literally nobody cares about. ^_^b

Okay wtf though, wdym you always remember after drinking?? Bruh I was too drunk to remember losing my virginity and you're over here saying you can recall every happy hour you've ever gone to? Damn. Some people have all the luck! I'd definitely have wanted to remember my virgin night--the presumably deeply mediocre sex, a guy I barely liked who dumped me swiftly afterward, being on the rag at the time... What's not to love?

And I'll have you know I don't get high on anything! Except caffeine! I may or may not be downing a Coke as we speak in a sad desperate bid to supplement my caffeine intake because I didn't have a coffee today >_>

 

[JeanPanty]

Boxers, briefs, or panties?

 

[Him15]

Okay I'll count "cute kitten photo" under "meme" and say I called it, there was a time in internet history where "meme" and "kitten photo" were basically the same thing! Definitely am not stretching the definition like taffy in order to secure a minor personal victory literally nobody cares about. ^_^b

Okay wtf though, wdym you always remember after drinking?? Bruh I was too drunk to remember losing my virginity and you're over here saying you can recall every happy hour you've ever gone to? Damn. Some people have all the luck! I'd definitely have wanted to remember my virgin night--the presumably deeply mediocre sex, a guy I barely liked who dumped me swiftly afterward, being on the rag at the time... What's not to love?

And I'll have you know I don't get high on anything! Except caffeine! I may or may not be downing a Coke as we speak in a sad desperate bid to supplement my caffeine intake because I didn't have a coffee today >_>

Yeah but that interchangability was in the before times, in the long long ago. And hey I care I refuse to concede this ground. Now if the kitten had a hat on it be a meme. Though honestly the reward link going to an error is pretty funny so im keeping it kittenless now.

Yep I always remember, I have never blacked out. Granted I dont actually drink that often but when I do I make up for lost time. I just have a natural incredibly high tolerance. See my virgin time was also pretty mediocre. The 2 other times that night was much more fun and night 2 way better.

Well you got to try life, let me tell you that shit rocks

 

[Him15]

Boxers, briefs, or panties?

On me, boxers its hot where I live. Briefs arent super comfortable and I dont need lift and separation down there.

 

[JeanPanty]

On me, boxers its hot where I live. Briefs arent super comfortable and I dont need lift and separation down there.

I do briefs most of the time, but panties if I feel a bit kinky

 

[Him15]

I do briefs most of the time, but panties if I feel a bit kinky

They just dont sound like they would be comfortable to me.

 

[GriffinTheGryphon]

Oh I was in the internet trenches in the height of its absolute garbage lol, I was 13 in '06, I know how it was in the Before Times. Kids today thinking AI is ruining the internet and I'm just here going "hey at least shock images aren't a thing any more".

Shit dude maybe I should try being high on life, at least you can't get withdrawal from that. Or... I guess you kinda can. Once. Y'know, fatally. Wait does that mean life's withdrawal symptoms actually make it one of the most dangerous drugs to take? That was twelve and I am deep. Or possibly just a bit squirrelly from caffeine withdrawal crossed with a sugar high from slamming a half-litre of Coke.

 

[JeanPanty]

They just dont sound like they would be comfortable to me.

they are if you get the right ones.....

 

[Him15]

they are if you get the right ones.....

All I can think is banana hammock right now.

 

[JeanPanty]

All I can think is banana hammock right now.

some are quite stretchy

 

[Him15]

Oh I was in the internet trenches in the height of its absolute garbage lol, I was 13 in '06, I know how it was in the Before Times. Kids today thinking AI is ruining the internet and I'm just here going "hey at least shock images aren't a thing any more".

Shit dude maybe I should try being high on life, at least you can't get withdrawal from that. Or... I guess you kinda can. Once. Y'know, fatally. Wait does that mean life's withdrawal symptoms actually make

Oh I was in the internet trenches in the height of its absolute garbage lol, I was 13 in '06, I know how it was in the Before Times. Kids today thinking AI is ruining the internet and I'm just here going "hey at least shock images aren't a thing any more".

Shit dude maybe I should try being high on life, at least you can't get withdrawal from that. Or... I guess you kinda can. Once. Y'know, fatally. Wait does that mean life's withdrawal symptoms actually make it one of the most dangerous drugs to take? That was twelve and I am deep. Or possibly just a bit squirrelly from caffeine withdrawal crossed with a sugar high from slamming a half-litre of Coke.

Oh so you were also there when the ancient texts where written. But I was there when the kingdom was founded and the internet sounded like a phone when you connected to it. Side note i am thoroughly enjoying using this language to describe things 20 years ago.

I mean, technically it would be the only one with a 100% fatality rate, and your mileage may vary. But I think this joke is too old to claim any level of depth.

Chuckles, you sound like my younger brother who used to get caffeine headaches if he didn't have coke.

 

[Him15]

some are quite stretchy

I suppose they are huh. Random thought but I wonder if they would make a good sling

 

[JeanPanty]

I suppose they are huh. Random thought but I wonder if they would make a good sling

could be, again if you get the stretchy silky ones...

 

[Him15]

could be, again if you get the stretchy silky ones...

I'm now going down a rabbit hole on sling construction

 

[JeanPanty]

I'm now going down a rabbit hole on sling construction

would certainly be a bit more stylish than a normal sling...and a conversation starter

 

[Him15]

True, I could use it to show up all the other shepherds in 2000bc

 

[GriffinTheGryphon]

Aw man I can't believe you out-"old man yells at cloud"ed me! D: This what I get for being 32! Too old to have been raised on an ipad, too young to have had dial-up. And I've got to show for it is a bad back and a decade of hard-won personal growth I wouldn't take back for the world. So y'know what I guess it ain't all bad, huh? Everybody always going on about wanting to be 21 again and nah man. I don't want to be anything but where I am now--on high-speed ethernet chatting to strangers about life experiences on an erotic fiction site to which I've posted several "trans boi gets it rough" stories, one of which just recently hit the Hot marker. Nah man, life's good here and now. Just not, y'know, good enough to necessarily say I could get high off it lol Still gonna need my morning coffee to get through the day, turns out. This Coke's done nothing but give me a sugar rush and the crash is gonna be spectacular I'm sure~

 

[Him15]

Oh im down to out old man yells at clouds anyone. Even people older than me. Complaining about how stuff was before is suoer fun.

And idk I could do with being 21 again, but woukd it be 21 year old body current brain, or woukd I transport back in time to be 21 with current brain. Or am I just back in time no memory of being older?

And oh congrats on the hot marker. I'm actually not sure when the last time I wrote an erotic story was, it was definitely before joining lit but not before graduating college.

I can't remember what it is but apparently sugar crashes arent real.

 

[GriffinTheGryphon]

Ay I'm someone who far prefers focusing on how the present is better than the past, so rather than being the annoying old man yelling about Tiktok or whatever, I'd much rather talk about how I had to close an envelope the other day with the old-ass lick-activated glue! They still use that?! I thought we'd all agreed to switch to the peel-off sticker-style closing stuff, the lick-glue is so ass! You have to soak it or the glue sucks, it tastes deeply unpleasant, and inevitably you didn't lick it good enough and now it's going to be totally unevenly sticky. Something something semen joke! At least if you could activate envelope glue with spooge it'd be fun closing the stupid things! >:V

For those "would you go back in time" things I always presume you don't get to keep your memories and such, because really, otherwise, would anybody say no to getting to have their experiences carry forward but in a younger body? I'm pretty sure almost nobody would say no to a more youthful body, if there were no strings attached. I sure as shit would @_@

I started writing erotica... probably before I should've >_> For legal reasons I do not admit to committing any kind of TOS breaks on any sites that host erotic fiction! I won't confess, and you can't torture me into it because I'm far too kinky for anything you can think of to work! Pretty sure in the legal profession they call that being "judgement proof" B)

(also yeah I'm fairly certain sugar crashes aren't real either, though in a sense loading yourself with simple carbs and then burning them off, with no complex carbs to fall back on for energy, could presumably result in something that feels like a "crash". So really all I'd have to do is have a nice square meal with a variety of nutrients, orrrr I could string myself along with more simple carbs ad infinitum and never get tired again! That's how it works, right? )

 

[Him15]

Ay I'm someone who far prefers focusing on how the present is better than the past, so rather than being the annoying old man yelling about Tiktok or whatever, I'd much rather talk about how I had to close an envelope the other day with the old-ass lick-activated glue! They still use that?! I thought we'd all agreed to switch to the peel-off sticker-style closing stuff, the lick-glue is so ass! You have to soak it or the glue sucks, it tastes deeply unpleasant, and inevitably you didn't lick it good enough and now it's going to be totally unevenly sticky. Something something semen joke! At least if you could activate envelope glue with spooge it'd be fun closing the stupid things! >:V

For those "would you go back in time" things I always presume you don't get to keep your memories and such, because really, otherwise, would anybody say no to getting to have their experiences carry forward but in a younger body? I'm pretty sure almost nobody would say no to a more youthful body, if there were no strings attached. I sure as shit would @_@

I started writing erotica... probably before I should've >_> For legal reasons I do not admit to committing any kind of TOS breaks on any sites that host erotic fiction! I won't confess, and you can't torture me into it because I'm far too kinky for anything you can think of to work! Pretty sure in the legal profession they call that being "judgement proof" B)

(also yeah I'm fairly certain sugar crashes aren't real either, though in a sense loading yourself with simple carbs and then burning them off, with no complex carbs to fall back on for energy, could presumably result in something that feels like a "crash". So really all I'd have to do is have a nice square meal with a variety of nutrients, orrrr I could string myself along with more simple carbs ad infinitum and never get tired again! That's how it works, right? )

Idk I prefer the lick glue ones, somone feels more final and proper as opposed to the peel ones. Also the spooge suggestion seems like it would be deeply unsanitary.

Hmm then I'd probably still do it, get to live more and it woukd be deeply fascinating to see how my development would change with new external factors.

Oh no you never use torture its really ineffecient and terrible at getting an answer, there are way better ways of getting somone to talk aside from pain.

Exactly, if you never stop eating sugar you never need to rely on complex carbs. That is just science.