Oral sex

[Haida_lee]

Everyone is different. I'd bet though if you took 100 woman and 100 men, at least from the USA, you'd find the numbers who give oral pretty similar I imagine. I don't see oral givers as a gender thing. Seen both sides, maybe even more men that give actually than woman, but it's close.

so that it is apple to apple... there is an eastern culture that still considers women as a second caste under men... there sex is dominated by men... if I may take an example... a true submissive wife exists in eastern culture... a wife must obey her husband as an obligation... never mind the husband giving his wife oral... instead he has four wives who are ordered to give their husband oral ....sorry...language is a bit explicit

 

[Coconutty70]

I think also there’s just the fact that some people like certain things, while others don’t. There are all kinds of sexual preferences and it’s really just a matter of what you like and don’t like. This is in the context that each person is free from social constraints and expectations. And from your points of view, these clearly play a strong part of it.

I would agree that there is an element of selfishness that comes into play, and that is about the culture, upbringing and character traits of an individual that can differ between the sexes. Oral sex is about giving, isn’t it? So in my opinion, a person who likes to give to their partner is much more likely to want to provide oral pleasure… and all sorts of other pleasure too, like massage, touching, holding, using toys… anything where one partner is being pleasured and the other is just providing it.

Speaking personally, I like the sensation of giving oral… everything about it! It’s definitely my favourite sexual activity! But a big part of it is the pleasure I get from seeing her enjoying it so much, and experiencing the pleasure of it, making her climax… that is one of the best parts of it. Giving it. It’s an expression of loving and/or desiring someone! We make choices around how we want to express it to each other physically. I love giving massages too… long, sexy ones where my partner can just lie and enjoy receiving it.

 

[liqueur]

@Haida_lee — until now, I've just been responding to the thread, and hadn't looked at you, and your location. I'm thinking the cultural differences and the difference in sexual mores between Indonesia and the US must be vast. So the degree of pushback you're getting probably says more about that difference than anything else.

That said, I've spent a lot of time on sexual forums over the last 25 years, and from what I hear and read, both from women and men, I think that in the US there has been a real shift towards increasing sexual selfishness among men, as well as dismissiveness of women's thoughts and opinions, to say nothing of their lived experience.

 

[Haida_lee]

I'm not sure it's one sex or the other that is more reluctant to perform oral. My experience has been fairly even.

I've certainly been with women who either won't give a BJ at all, will but not to completion, or will but just don't enjoy it or want to at all. And honestly, the last category, I'd just assume they don't because if they truly don't enjoy it and/or they look at it more like a chore, it's likely not going to be very good anyway. Not that that makes them a subpar lover, but just that facet is lacking and we might as well focus on other things they do enjoy.

I've also known and/or known of men who don't go down on their partner or at least don't want to. I know my wife has a few friends who have complained to her that their husbands don't go down, which is completely foreign to me since I absolutely love it and always have and feel it makes one a more complete, attentive and talented lover since great sex isn't just about what's between our legs, but many other facets.

I do it almost every single time with the odd exception that precludes it like a quickie before the kids get home or maybe shower sex or any situation that makes it more difficult because of time, position, etc. The wife does go down on me and does enjoy it and, hence, is very good at it. However, she doesn't do it as often as I go down on her and that's okay.

Just my experiences anyway. YMMV.

your wife must be clean and fragrant...

I think I will plan my next vacation to Indonesia. I will try my hardest to try and help the plight of the unsatisfied woman.

All kidding aside. I agree with your analysis. this is why some guys have that fetish for women from other cultures. They want to be the one to WOW them.

hahahahaha ... you will be lucky if you have an Indonesian wife who is still in the area ... they will respect you like a king ... don't get one from the city ... they have been contaminated by modern lifestyle ... your money will run out ... hahahaha ... my husband is from Singapore and I ..... am one of the women who have been contaminated earlier ..

 

[hugh_jarce69]

@Haida_lee — until now, I've just been responding to the thread, and hadn't looked at you, and your location. I'm thinking the cultural differences and the difference in sexual mores between Indonesia and the US must be vast. So the degree of pushback you're getting probably says more about that difference than anything else.

That said, I've spent a lot of time on sexual forums over the last 25 years, and from what I hear and read, both from women and men, I think that in the US there has been a real shift towards increasing sexual selfishness among men, as well as dismissiveness of women's thoughts and opinions, to say nothing of their lived experience.

That shift is happening in UK too as more young people consume more & more porn. Guys expect a girl to satisfy them, and the poor young girls think they have to have anal sex otherwise the guy won’t love them. Neither has any idea of how to prepare for something like that. In the Asian community it is as @Haida_lee has described with women expected to be subservient to men.

 

[Burstplayer]

so that it is apple to apple... there is an eastern culture that still considers women as a second caste under men... there sex is dominated by men... if I may take an example... a true submissive wife exists in eastern culture... a wife must obey her husband as an obligation... never mind the husband giving his wife oral... instead he has four wives who are ordered to give their husband oral ....sorry...language is a bit explicit

That's it. I'm moving to Bali...

 

[lifeis2short2b]

your wife must be clean and fragrant...

hahahahaha ... you will be lucky if you have an Indonesian wife who is still in the area ... they will respect you like a king ... don't get one from the city ... they have been contaminated by modern lifestyle ... your money will run out ... hahahaha ... my husband is from Singapore and I ..... am one of the women who have been contaminated earlier ..

So this thread is BS ?

 

[Haida_lee]

@Haida_lee — until now, I've just been responding to the thread, and hadn't looked at you, and your location. I'm thinking the cultural differences and the difference in sexual mores between Indonesia and the US must be vast. So the degree of pushback you're getting probably says more about that difference than anything else.

That said, I've spent a lot of time on sexual forums over the last 25 years, and from what I hear and read, both from women and men, I think that in the US there has been a real shift towards increasing sexual selfishness among men, as well as dismissiveness of women's thoughts and opinions, to say nothing of their lived experience.

Wow... I just understood this... it's the opposite of Indonesia... in the past almost all of Indonesia still used the culture of respecting husbands... now it's shifted... many wives are more dominant... but I can't believe my perception... because there are still areas that still hold fast to that culture... try searching for the Badui tribe in Banten... respect for husbands is number one.

 

[Haida_lee]

That's it. I'm moving to Bali...

Wellcome in Bali bro...

 

[LoverWoman]

Wellcome in Bali bro...

You sound so sexy and hot, Haida Lee

 

[curioustxn]

Wow... I just understood this... it's the opposite of Indonesia... in the past almost all of Indonesia still used the culture of respecting husbands... now it's shifted... many wives are more dominant... but I can't believe my perception... because there are still areas that still hold fast to that culture... try searching for the Badui tribe in Banten... respect for husbands is number one.

An interesting thought.

I don't think women feeling Dominant to their man is just limited to Indonesia, I think it has become a world-wide phenomena. I have wondered - - if a woman could create her perfect world, would she rather be Dominant to her man, or submissive to him?

 

[Haida_lee]

That shift is happening in UK too as more young people consume more & more porn. Guys expect a girl to satisfy them, and the poor young girls think they have to have anal sex otherwise the guy won’t love them. Neither has any idea of how to prepare for something like that. In the Asian community it is as @Haida_lee has described with women expected to be subservient to men.

That's right... changing times bring cultural shifts

 

[Haida_lee]

An interesting thought.

I don't think women feeling Dominant to their man is just limited to Indonesia, I think it has become a world-wide phenomena. I have wondered - - if a woman could create her perfect world, would she rather be Dominant to her man, or submissive to him?

I corrected... the shift in dominance from men to women is only in certain areas... especially in big cities

 

[curioustxn]

I corrected... the shift in dominance from men to women is only in certain areas... especially in big cities

But that leaves the question unanswered......

In a perfect world of your own creation, would you rather be Dominant to your man, or submissive to him?

 

[J_Bone]

your wife must be clean and fragrant...

Very much so. She tastes fantastic and always has. However, I've always gone down religiously one all of my lovers.

 

[curioustxn]

Back to the original question: Why are some men reluctant to perform oral sex on their partners, compared to women?


Aside from the obvious reasons, (selfishness on his part, body odor or taste on her part), there is another reason men don't perform oral sex for their lady. They simply don't know how, or they are afraid it might offend her. It is surprising how little men know about women.

While many parents have that "Birds & Bees" talk with their son, they will never talk to him about how to lick a pussy! And what he may learn about girls from his school mates can even make it worse. And being the case, men grow up knowing little about how to pleasure a woman.

And to make it even worse, rarely will a woman tell her man what she wants, or how she likes to be pleasured. It seems that women often just expect us to know what to do, and often we don't!

 

[willi1796]

Back to the original question: Why are some men reluctant to perform oral sex on their partners, compared to women?


Aside from the obvious reasons, (selfishness on his part, body odor or taste on her part), there is another reason men don't perform oral sex for their lady. They simply don't know how, or they are afraid it might offend her. It is surprising how little men know about women.

While many parents have that "Birds & Bees" talk with their son, they will never talk to him about how to lick a pussy! And what he may learn about girls from his school mates can even make it worse. And being the case, men grow up knowing little about how to pleasure a woman.

And to make it even worse, rarely will a woman tell her man what she wants, or how she likes to be pleasured. It seems that women often just expect us to know what to do, and often we don't!

Taste and observe the woman's reactions and adjust the treat.

 

[SigmaJay]

While many parents have that "Birds & Bees" talk with their son, they will never talk to him about how to lick a pussy!

I did just that. I told him about my first experience with cunnilingus, how nervous I was, etc. "Locker room talk" with my adult son (who is still a virgin). He got offended and upset. I won't do it again.

 

[paulboulder]

This is an interesting thread.

As I said earlier up the thread, I enjoy giving my partner pleasure, and do my best to constantly learn what she likes. Communication is key.

As for learning what to do and how to do it, gentlemen, do your research. Read what women say they enjoy. Learn the anatomy you are exploring. Porn is not the best place to learn, as what might visually look exciting doesn't necessarily relate to what is pleasing to another person.

I have always felt, besides the obvious "give each other pleasure" aspects, there is a fairness issue. If you want her to gobble you up, reciprocate.

Paul

 

[Britva415]

I love to lick her in her natural state without any soapy taste

Soapy taste doesn't mean she's clean, just saying. It literally means the opposite - stuff did not get washed off. If she can't get the soap off, how's she supposed to expect that whatever else she was trying to wash off came off?

And even if she really did clean everything off, or even if there was nothing to clean off in the first place, putting soap on a clean body and leaving it there is fucking gross.

Who tf expects oral when they leave soap all over it.

 

[Shaglus_Ziegler]

Why are some men reluctant to perform oral sex on their partners, compared to women? Almost all women definitely want to perform oral sex on their partners.. give your opinion for discussion, friends.... this is a place to discuss sex... if you want to discuss morals, maybe this is not the place, let alone talk about morality. this is not the place.... thank you.

I am not reluctant!