the unicorn sign on our foreheads

[dodgeboy2]

Do other trans girls get this? Is it automatically assumed you want to be the ice cream between a pair of cookies? (Usually one with nuts and one without). And the way they ask. Like, we should be so honored we were chosen?

Here's the paraphrase I had whispered in my ear this evening: "I heard you, girl, and I think I'd look good inside you. And you'd look good inside my wife. Yeah, at the same time."

It was the last sentence that made me spit out my milkshake. This happened at a rather crowded fancy-pants ice cream shop - thus the ice cream references. But there were FAMILIES there. To be fair, I made the mistake of accidentally outting myself talking to a friend. She went to the restroom, and this guy approached. He was neither good nor bad looking, and I was not impressed by his Nirvana teeshirt and sport jacket, so I have no idea where his confidence came from.

This happen to anyone else?

Sorry those things happen to you or anyone else.

I think the phase I saw here about a slam dunk and I do think that may very well be a portion of his issue but I think the bigger issue is that I think he may be thinking of you as a man posing as a woman instead of what you all are, a woman trapped in the wrong package. I think maybe your answer to him should have been if he would have even thought of saying that to his wife/girlfriend or if he would have like to have hear that proposed to his sister/mother/daughter.

He may very well have been and ok guy but in that moment was an unacceptable jerk or if that is his normal persona but for me there is no way his mouth should have ever spoken and spewed those words out.

You are all beautiful women and I hope, naively, that you knew again need to complain about this treatment ever again!

 

[SissyBrandi19]

Do other trans girls get this? Is it automatically assumed you want to be the ice cream between a pair of cookies? (Usually one with nuts and one without). And the way they ask. Like, we should be so honored we were chosen?

Here's the paraphrase I had whispered in my ear this evening: "I heard you, girl, and I think I'd look good inside you. And you'd look good inside my wife. Yeah, at the same time."

It was the last sentence that made me spit out my milkshake. This happened at a rather crowded fancy-pants ice cream shop - thus the ice cream references. But there were FAMILIES there. To be fair, I made the mistake of accidentally outting myself talking to a friend. She went to the restroom, and this guy approached. He was neither good nor bad looking, and I was not impressed by his Nirvana teeshirt and sport jacket, so I have no idea where his confidence came from.

This happen to anyone else?

It's complex, but it comes down to the other person seeing you as less than the complex human being you are. Many men do that with women, women with men, etc. Happily, one can vet these people very easily, so that they never have to be more than an annoyance and if you were to make a fuss? Trust me, THEY will be the ones back-pedaling, not you. I have somewhat overlapping but slightly different things that bother me, more on a pragmatic level. For instance, because some "chasers" fetishize us and see us as I describe above, one thing that used to bother me but now I use as a weapon of sorts, is to simply demand effort. It used to bug me that a person would wax poetic about how good you look or sound or how sexy one is, but then balk at driving over 30 minutes to see you. I'm thinking, I take 3x that to make sure I am looking my best (I'm not exactly QUICK getting ready)! Now, I use that! I just laugh at the people praising me then balking - oh, 30 minutes is "too much effort" well thank you! Thank you for announcing your absolute unwillingness to put in any effort. Perhaps they are unaware of economics - common things command a lesser price than rare things, all else being equal. The one aspect I find frustrating and there's no getting around it, is the idea of having a high sexual appetite but also wanting a non-zero level of true intimacy, i.e. emotional engagement. That combination is apparently too much to ask for, but ask for that I do and I'm not settling for less. Is that "entitlement"? No, that is selectivity and if you don't meet my simple criteria, which has no relationship to your height, income or any immutable characteristic? That's a you issue. So while I am "out there" and looking quite frequently? I'm also very much solitary. because anyone has the ability to bring what I want to the table so if you don't, that your choice and I am not obligated to take the crumbs you offer. You don't like it? Then you are free to find someone like me but who will accept your meager offerings - good luck and I mean that!

 

[subbyclarajane]

It's complex, but it comes down to the other person seeing you as less than the complex human being you are. Many men do that with women, women with men, etc. Happily, one can vet these people very easily, so that they never have to be more than an annoyance and if you were to make a fuss? Trust me, THEY will be the ones back-pedaling, not you. I have somewhat overlapping but slightly different things that bother me, more on a pragmatic level. For instance, because some "chasers" fetishize us and see us as I describe above, one thing that used to bother me but now I use as a weapon of sorts, is to simply demand effort. It used to bug me that a person would wax poetic about how good you look or sound or how sexy one is, but then balk at driving over 30 minutes to see you. I'm thinking, I take 3x that to make sure I am looking my best (I'm not exactly QUICK getting ready)! Now, I use that! I just laugh at the people praising me then balking - oh, 30 minutes is "too much effort" well thank you! Thank you for announcing your absolute unwillingness to put in any effort. Perhaps they are unaware of economics - common things command a lesser price than rare things, all else being equal. The one aspect I find frustrating and there's no getting around it, is the idea of having a high sexual appetite but also wanting a non-zero level of true intimacy, i.e. emotional engagement. That combination is apparently too much to ask for, but ask for that I do and I'm not settling for less. Is that "entitlement"? No, that is selectivity and if you don't meet my simple criteria, which has no relationship to your height, income or any immutable characteristic? That's a you issue. So while I am "out there" and looking quite frequently? I'm also very much solitary. because anyone has the ability to bring what I want to the table so if you don't, that your choice and I am not obligated to take the crumbs you offer. You don't like it? Then you are free to find someone like me but who will accept your meager offerings - good luck and I mean that!

Damn. It takes 90 minutes to drive across Los Angeles. People got time management issues.

 

[subbyclarajane]

Sorry those things happen to you or anyone else.

I think the phase I saw here about a slam dunk and I do think that may very well be a portion of his issue but I think the bigger issue is that I think he may be thinking of you as a man posing as a woman instead of what you all are, a woman trapped in the wrong package. I think maybe your answer to him should have been if he would have even thought of saying that to his wife/girlfriend or if he would have like to have hear that proposed to his sister/mother/daughter.

He may very well have been and ok guy but in that moment was an unacceptable jerk or if that is his normal persona but for me there is no way his mouth should have ever spoken and spewed those words out.

You are all beautiful women and I hope, naively, that you knew again need to complain about this treatment ever again!

Your sentiments are kind.

TBH, I don’t know how it keeps happening to me. I’m not going to clubs or bars or shows. I do normal shit. I had my ass grabbed real fuckin hard at a damn CVS. Living in the south was supposed to be full of charm and stuff, but there’s a real boys will be boys permissiveness that permeates the geography. And they don’t want trans people here anyway. I find it terribly ironic how much more in demand trans girls are down here.

 

[DoItAgain1144]

Do other trans girls get this? Is it automatically assumed you want to be the ice cream between a pair of cookies? (Usually one with nuts and one without). And the way they ask. Like, we should be so honored we were chosen?

Here's the paraphrase I had whispered in my ear this evening: "I heard you, girl, and I think I'd look good inside you. And you'd look good inside my wife. Yeah, at the same time."

It was the last sentence that made me spit out my milkshake. This happened at a rather crowded fancy-pants ice cream shop - thus the ice cream references. But there were FAMILIES there. To be fair, I made the mistake of accidentally outting myself talking to a friend. She went to the restroom, and this guy approached. He was neither good nor bad looking, and I was not impressed by his Nirvana teeshirt and sport jacket, so I have no idea where his confidence came from.

This happen to anyone else?

Okay for real am I just completely blind that I’ve never seen a noticeably trans woman in public? I live in California For Pete’s sake. It should be a non zero number of times!

And no. I wouldn’t ask you to be the cream in the Oreo. But I might ask to get you a coffee.

 

[BillyWalrus]

Okay for real am I just completely blind that I’ve never seen a noticeably trans woman in public? I live in California For Pete’s sake. It should be a non zero number of times!

And no. I wouldn’t ask you to be the cream in the Oreo. But I might ask to get you a coffee.

Neither have I. Of course I have not been looking either. I have seen plenty in the Philippines - many of them drop dead gorgeous.

 

[subbyclarajane]

Okay for real am I just completely blind that I’ve never seen a noticeably trans woman in public? I live in California For Pete’s sake. It should be a non zero number of times!

And no. I wouldn’t ask you to be the cream in the Oreo. But I might ask to get you a coffee.

Oh gosh, I see noticeably trans women all the time. Like, ALL THE TIME. But I'm in Texas, and I don't think it's as easy to get fully through transition here.

I do love coffee. fwiw.

 

[DoItAgain1144]

I do love coffee. fwiw.

Sounds like it would be worth a cup of coffee at least

 

[BillyWalrus]

Oh gosh, I see noticeably trans women all the time. Like, ALL THE TIME. But I'm in Texas, and I don't think it's as easy to get fully through transition here.

I do love coffee. fwiw.

I am in Texas. I have lived here for many years (it's gotten worse every year!). I have never seen anyone I even suspected of being trans. Not that I care.

 

[subbyclarajane]

I am in Texas. I have lived here for many years (it's gotten worse every year!). I have never seen anyone I even suspected of being trans. Not that I care.

To be fair, I do run in queer circles, and I'm much more likely to see trans people.

 

[stickygirl]

I am in Texas. I have lived here for many years (it's gotten worse every year!). I have never seen anyone I even suspected of being trans. Not that I care.

Would it be unfair to suggest that guys look at different things in the street? A woman will read what women are wearing, what shoes they have , what bag they have on their arm and finally the size of their hands, shoulders, stride length … all this while the men are checking her tits and if she has a cute face.
Don’t take my word for it - there’s academic books on such things, like Michael Argyll’s The Psychology of Interpersonal Behaviour.

I admit I’m not great at checking out people but I put it down to be autistic and have a zillion other things to notice in the street including, importantly, how to avoid bumping into the person walking towards me on an empty sidewalk!

 

[stickygirl]

I was lucky that I transitioned during my time at university and then stayed on working there for a few years afterward. I was around intelligent people, many of whom had their own identity to resolve and sexuality to figure out. We used to avoid the local population which could be pretty rough; kids would get black eyes if they went to the wrong bars in town because students stick out.
I ended up being an auntie in the student unions LGBT space, talking kids through tears and heartbreak.

When I first started posting at Lit, I used to get men PMing me often. Once I got past 1000 posts I think they realised I wasnt a player - and I’d started my Ask a MtF a Question thread.

 

[BillyWalrus]

Would it be unfair to suggest that guys look at different things in the street? A woman will read what women are wearing, what shoes they have , what bag they have on their arm and finally the size of their hands, shoulders, stride length … all this while the men are checking her tits and if she has a cute face.

That may be it. My radar is set to look for cute femininity. Anything else doesn't really register lol

 

[dodgeboy2]

Your sentiments are kind.

TBH, I don’t know how it keeps happening to me. I’m not going to clubs or bars or shows. I do normal shit. I had my ass grabbed real fuckin hard at a damn CVS. Living in the south was supposed to be full of charm and stuff, but there’s a real boys will be boys permissiveness that permeates the geography. And they don’t want trans people here anyway. I find it terribly ironic how much more in demand trans girls are down here.

It just goes to prove that there are jerks in every corner, even at a CVS lol, I think the saying instead of boys will be boys in this situation it should be more like assholes will be assholes. I know that it's tough in many areas of the country but I don't know how anyone different of what some parts of the south especially southeast considers not-normal could possibly live down there, I mean I am not trans but I know some gay friends that lived down south, they loved the weather but eventually moved to other areas.

Good luck living there and just remember this, you are all beautiful women and do not deserve to be treated any other way than you want, but alas again that would be a perfect world and we are certainly not in one!

 

[pleasuremodeloneten]

Would it be unfair to suggest that guys look at different things in the street? A woman will read what women are wearing, what shoes they have , what bag they have on their arm and finally the size of their hands, shoulders, stride length … all this while the men are checking her tits and if she has a cute face.
Don’t take my word for it - there’s academic books on such things, like Michael Argyll’s The Psychology of Interpersonal Behaviour.

I admit I’m not great at checking out people but I put it down to be autistic and have a zillion other things to notice in the street including, importantly, how to avoid bumping into the person walking towards me on an empty sidewalk!

I think it is true that your typical man can only see and process one and maybe a half of anything at once… so they glom on to her tits, then her ass, and then there’s the knee jerk reaction where they stand up a little straighter, try to appear broader and stronger…
But I don’t think we are all like that. Personally I take in the whole woman at once, admiring and assessing the form and carriage, I like a person who carries themselves well, be they woman or man.
If there’s an exchange of glances I am locked onto her eyes in an almost involuntary way. I don’t notice minute details nearly as well as women do, it honestly blows my mind at how rapidly women observe and assimilate that info.
I used to visit an older woman in the throes of severe dementia, and just about the last complete sentence she ever said to me was, “you have new pants”.
Where does that eagle observation even come from, and why does it exist… and the question also is why don’t men see even one tenth that clearly.
It is a complex issue, I’m sure there are behavioral factors or whatever that come into play, but I also think it’s linear thinking versus mosaic thinking.
Caveman see rock, think mmm good rock to bust things open with.
Cavewoman see rock, think… oh, flat rock to fry things on, looks good next to this rock on shelf, no, look better next to that rock, maybe give rock to my friend for her rock, make good rock to bust caveman on head with when he stares at my friend…

 

[subbyclarajane]

I was lucky that I transitioned during my time at university and then stayed on working there for a few years afterward. I was around intelligent people, many of whom had their own identity to resolve and sexuality to figure out. We used to avoid the local population which could be pretty rough; kids would get black eyes if they went to the wrong bars in town because students stick out.
I ended up being an auntie in the student unions LGBT space, talking kids through tears and heartbreak.

When I first started posting at Lit, I used to get men PMing me often. Once I got past 1000 posts I think they realised I wasnt a player - and I’d started my Ask a MtF a Question thread.

I’m envious and happy did you at the same time. I wish I’d transitioned college. So much time performing something that felt like an itchy sweater.

You’re kind of a legend, actually. I was on Lit ages ago in masc mask. My ex never did video porn, only reading, so she introduced me to the site, and I spent a lot of time reading, not much participating. Yours is the only name I remember, and you did seem very popular.

 

[dingdongditchding]

Okay, yeah. That feels exactly on the nose. A novelty and desperate.

And for the record, there is not enough money in the world for me to top a dude. Ever.

I am M, bi curious and dont want to F or be Fd in the ass. No thanks to anal, giving or getting. Just (maybe) kissing (both men clean shave on face). Oral, touching, dirty talk, maybe with right guy cuddling. I am attracted to women as well. I am looking for a M for a FWB. If I would do the same for a trans woman (FWB) would that be fetishing.

 

[stickygirl]

I am M, bi curious and dont want to F or be Fd in the ass. No thanks to anal, giving or getting. Just (maybe) kissing (both men clean shave on face). Oral, touching, dirty talk, maybe with right guy cuddling. I am attracted to women as well. I am looking for a M for a FWB. If I would do the same for a trans woman (FWB) would that be fetishing.

If she wants to play and is meeting you as an equal then that’s no fetish. Sounds like you have a very particular shopping list

 

[subbyclarajane]

I am M, bi curious and dont want to F or be Fd in the ass. No thanks to anal, giving or getting. Just (maybe) kissing (both men clean shave on face). Oral, touching, dirty talk, maybe with right guy cuddling. I am attracted to women as well. I am looking for a M for a FWB. If I would do the same for a trans woman (FWB) would that be fetishing.

Good question - I think fetishizing is about seeing a real person as what they are, not who they are, and having sexual desires or fantasies about that person based on the what, regardless of the who.

I fantasize all the time about being wrecked by men. But IRL, the WHO really matters.

 

[stickygirl]

Good question - I think fetishizing is about seeing a real person as what they are, not who they are, and having sexual desires or fantasies about that person based on the what, regardless of the who.

I fantasize all the time about being wrecked by men. But IRL, the WHO really matters.

That's sounds about right. If someone talks about a trans woman only in terms of their sexual organs and what they are able to do with it, to the exclusion of any other detail that makes them a human being ( no more than an object for sexual gratification ), then that is fetish. They are aroused by the concept of a pretty person, devoid of masculine features apart from having a dick, not from any interaction with her. I'm not being critical of people having a fetish, but I'm not keen on their fetish being me or me-because-I-am-trans.

I've heard a counter argument, when someone has questioned 'Why isn't finding a cisgender woman attractive because she has a vagina called a fetish?' That's a false balance, because men don't. How many men eulogise about how they are looking for the perfect vagina; how they have a mental image of what a perfect vagina should look like; how deep it is; how it smells? Maybe teenage boys have a natural curiosity "Wassit look like then?" but once they've seen one, they back off!

It was interesting that the number of 'admirers' I had at Lit deceased quite markedly after I had my surgery. I can't say I was disappointed - if that was the only reason they felt drawn to me then 'good riddance' but also I was then regarded sexually as a cis-gender woman

 

[subbyclarajane]

That's sounds about right. If someone talks about a trans woman only in terms of their sexual organs and what they are able to do with it, to the exclusion of any other detail that makes them a human being ( nor more than an object for sexual gratification ), then that is fetish. They are aroused by the concept of a pretty person, devoid of masculine features apart from having a dick, not from any interaction with her. I'm not being critical of people having a fetish, but I'm not keen on their fetish being me or me-because-I-am-trans.

I've heard a counter argument, when someone has questioned 'Why isn't finding a cisgender woman attractive because she has a vagina called a fetish?' That's a false balance, because men don't. How many men eulogise about how they are looking for the perfect vagina; how they have a mental image of what a perfect vagina should look like; how deep it is; how it smells? Maybe teenage boys have a natural curiosity "Wassit look like then?" but once they've seen one, they back off!

It was interesting that the number of 'admirers' I had at Lit deceased quite markedly after I had my surgery. I can't say I was disappointed - if that was the only reason they felt drawn to me then 'good riddance' but also I was then regarded sexually as a cis-gender woman

I race toward surgery. I hope it’s still legal by the time I get there…