Writing Exercise: Tall Tales

[StillStunned]

Fantasy (and fantasies) are a dime a dozen here on Lit, but I don't think we see enough of the fantastical. Stories where imagination isn't limited by what makes sense. The weird, the wondrous and the wonderful. Stories that don't ask the reader to just suspend their disbelief, but fire it with prejudice and order it to clean out its desk before lunch.

So let's see where our imagination takes us. Difficult, within the constraints of a Writing Exercise, so skip the boring introduction and drop the reader in medias res. Tell the tallest tales you can think of, the most outrageous lies, the boldest excuses.

The usual rules apply. Stick to the 250-400 word count (ish), and nothing that wouldn't make it past Laurel's screening: no underage, no snuff, no bestiality, no non-consensual non-consent.

Go ahead and tap into your inner Munchhausen...

 

[StillStunned]

Mine, slightly inspired by @Rob_Royale's mention of Weird West the other day:


Well, he cleaned us out, that pasty-faced fella in the black suit. Me and the Texan and the man in the bowler hat. I’d seen some slick card-sharps back East, but this stranger was so smooth that I had no idea how he was cheatin’.

We waited for him outside the saloon. None of us took him up on his offer of celebratin’ his winnings with him, but there were plenty of others who did.

But we knew he’d be comin’ out. The train West was leavin’ at sundown, and he’d said he meant to be on it. So we waited, Texas and Bowler Hat on one side of the door, me on the other. Gonna teach him some manners, we were, and take back what he’d cheated from us.

He came out soon enough, and stopped when he saw Bowler Hat and Texas. They were large fellas, and their intentions were clear.

“Keep your hands clear from that belt, Mister,” drawls Texas. “We ain’t gonna kill you. Just want our money back, that’s all.”

This pale fella, he raises his hands, all apologetic like. Then he makes a fist, and sticks up his thumb and points with his finger like a pistol. “I’m not gonna give it back,” says he, in that soft whisper of his. And then he drops his thumb, and Texas’s head explodes like he’s been shot.

Before Bowler Hat can do anything but gawp, the finger-gun turns to him and bam! his head is gone too. Two headless bodies, standin’ upright like they don’t know they’re supposed to fall.

Well, I legged it, I ain’t ashamed to admit. I’ve seen some strange things, but this was more than I bargained for. So I’m off as fast as my boots will carry me, down the street and skiddin’ round the corner past the stables.

I hear him comin’ after me. Don’t know why he didn’t shoot. Maybe he only had two bullets, or maybe I had to be watchin’ for his sorcery to work. But I hear him slaverin’ behind me, no more than a few paces.

In the dark alley I see this ray of sunlight comin’ down between the buildings, all dusty and full of straw motes. Up with you, my lad, I thinks to myself, and I jump onto it and begin climbin’. It was difficult goin’, but the straw gave me some grip.

Below me this sorcerer man came up behind me. I glanced down. He had it harder than me, slippin’ as he climbed, but still he climbed.

I see this open window, and I make a leap for it and pull myself inside. There’s a towel hangin’ there, and quick as a flash I swing it out and cut the sunbeam. I could hear the fella hit the ground with a thump, and that’s when I became aware of this young lady – your daughter, you say – screamin’ in her bathtub, and then you’re here and yellin’ at me…

 

[Rob_Royale]

From a WIP in my 'awaiting further inspiration' folder.

Janice looked looked across her coach and smiled at her dear assistants. Two young people snored softly on the cushion across from her. The rear seat of the coach was ingeniously designed to fold backward creating something big enough for someone to nap upon. Mick and Dolly lay sprawled beneath a sheet, entwined in each other’s limbs, snoring softly.

She couldn’t imagine such long travels without the comfort of her young helpers. They were so good at … well everything. She reached out and gave the mattress a nudge with her slippered foot.

“Wake up, you two. We have entered the city. Get up and get dressed. We’ll be pulling up to the palace in a few minutes.”

Dolly stretched and smiled. Her long hair was the color of the sun on a wheat field, and it lay like a scarf over her pert breasts. “Mmm, I will be glad to get back to my own bed.”

Janice could only nod in agreement. Travelling by coach as the king's matchmaker had its ups and downs. A good long sleep was in order. “Get what rest you can, you hear me? I suspect the king will deploy us again within a day or so,” she said to her young companions.

Mick frowned but nodded knowingly. The young man was of average height but had a soldiers build, with dark hair and eyes. His soft boyish face gave him an unassuming look that seemed to set people at ease. Janice’s eyes traveled down his lean body and settled on the lovely organ that had given her so much pleasure this trip. “Hurry! Tuck that thing away. We're nearly to the palace.”

The young man glanced back at his blonde companion who couldn't hide a wide smile. “Tuck it away, says she,” Dolly said sarcastically. “She who couldn’t get enough of it this morning.”

 

[NotWise]

This is modified from A Valentine's Day Mess (Part 1).

Away and out of sight, the shadow of a great cat lifted from the pictured boulder next to Manny's car and took form in the moonlight. The warrior god sniffed the air. It focused on Carlos on the trail then Jaime on the rocks. It moved over the boulders, slowly at first, then with long strides from stone to stone.

Manny gripped a jagged rock and coiled to lunge at Jaime. His movement caught Jaime's attention, and the advantage that he needed was gone. Jaime grinned down at Manny and Claudia, and he raised his gun. Manny knew he would never reach Jaime's head, so he swung the rock at his knee to take him down.

Jaime collapsed, and the big cat took him from behind. Its claws tore through his coat to grip his flesh, and the cat wrestled him down among the rocks. The force of their collision threw Manny back into the shadows where he covered Claudia with his body. Fangs flashed white in the moonlight. The cougar snapped Jaime's neck in one bite, then severed his spinal cord.

Carlos didn't react until the cougar held Jaime's broken neck in his jaws and Jaime's gun still clattered down a crevice. He was too far away and too frenzied to aim. Carlos shot into the rocks and bullets ricocheted and dust and rock chips filled the air around Manny and Claudia.

Carlos emptied his magazine then ran for the car. The cat left Jaime's body among the rocks and leaped after Carlos. Manny and Claudia scrambled out of their hiding place and climbed up on the rocks where they could watch in the moonlight. The big cat caught Carlos from behind. His scream was cut off by the teeth that tore his flesh and snapped his neck.

The cougar paced around Carlos' body and lashed its tail. A cloud passed over the moon and when the moonlight returned the cougar was gone.

 

[NotWise]

From Watch Me! Chad photographs a ballet while his sister achieves perfection and transcends.

A woman’s voice announced over the murmur of the crowd, “We have a change in tonight’s program. In place of the scheduled performance of Petite Mort, Andrew Padilla and Rachel Sutherland will present the world premier of Arthur Canby’s Puzzles to Ludwig Van Beethoven’s Große Fuge.”

Light applause acknowledged the announcement. Chad’s heart was in his throat as the music started and the curtains opened. He moved more than the stage manager’s rules allowed so he could get the angles he needed, and he took shots as fast as he could frame them.

They were halfway through the dance when the gasps and whispers that traveled through the audience became audible from backstage. Chad watched Rachel turn around Andy and shot a picture as sparks flew off her finger tips. He shot again as waves of color—visible even under the stage lights—flowed up her arms.

Penny stood through the final notes of the fugue with her hands over her mouth and tears in her eyes. Chad took a shot, and another as Rachel turned and slipped from Andy’s embrace. Her feet left the stage, and she rose toward the lights. Colors coursed through her body, and sparks scattered around her as she pirouetted in the air.

Rachel vanished in a brilliant white flash. Her costume settled to the stage, and Andy ducked a rain of hair pins. The audience fell into stunned silence, then rose to their feet. “Brava! Brava!” they called as they applauded.

To the audience, it was all just a spectacular finale, but Penny buried her face against Chad’s chest, and he held her while she sobbed. “Rae’s gone. She left me.”

 

[Soixenta]

The cat stared down at me with large eyes that glowed green in the darkness. “Lost, you say?” Blink. “Where do you want to be?”

“I don’t know!” I could hear my voice trembling. “I just want to be home, but I don’t know where I am!”

“Here,” said the cat in its velvet voice. “You’re here.” Blink. “Or rather, you’re there. I’m here.”

I closed my eyes, trying to suppress the anxiety I felt creeping up from my stomach to my chest. “Where’s that?”

I’d been walking home from work – half a dozen streets, streets that I’d walked a thousand times – when a night fog came up out of nowhere, and suddenly the hard pavement under my feet had turned into bouncy turf.

Now here I was – wherever that was – looking up at a black cat sitting in a tree, with its long tail swinging gently from side to side. There was something strange going on.

As the cat opened its mouth to speak, I quickly forestalled it. I knew that the answer would be as useless as before.

“How do I get home?”

“Ah,” said the cat. “Now that’s a better question.” Blink. Tail flick. “Assuming that you want to get home, of course.”

A flutter of wings broke the night’s silence, and a large winged shape landed on another branch of the tree.

“Don’t trust a cat!” It was a great rook, eyes gleaming like black diamonds. “Caw! Cats are cunts.”

“And birds are bastards,” replied the cat, tail lashing from side to side. “Would you like to come a little closer and continue this conversation?”

The rook snapped with its long beak. “Cunt!” It didn’t move from its perch, though. "Caw!"

The cat glared up at it, but also stayed where it was. “She doesn’t need any help from you.” Blink. “Everyone knows birds a liars.”

As the rook chattered back, cawing and ruffling its feathers, I wandered off and left them behind. Neither seemed very helpful, and I decided I’d be better off on my own.

A glow in the dark ahead drew me. A red glow, and low by the ground, but steady, not flickering like a fire. I made my way towards it through the trees until I entered a clearing and saw what it was.

A skull, surrounded by dull red flames like coals, standing on the ground and – as far as I could tell – reading a book.

 

[EmilyMiller]

Stories where imagination isn't limited by what makes sense. The weird, the wondrous and the wonderful. Stories that don't ask the reader to just suspend their disbelief, but fire it with prejudice and order it to clean out its desk before lunch.

Have you not read any of my stories ?

 

[StillStunned]

Have you not read any of my stories ?

So what's stopping you from contributing a snippet?

Ha! Don't try to outsmartarse me, young lady. I was smartarsing before you were born.

 

[EmilyMiller]

So what's stopping you from contributing a snippet?

A novel, a Halloween story, a side project, and life itself.

Ha! Don't try to outsmartarse me, young lady. I was smartarsing before you were born.

Challenge accepted

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

Fantasy (and fantasies) are a dime a dozen here on Lit, but I don't think we see enough of the fantastical. Stories where imagination isn't limited by what makes sense. The weird, the wondrous and the wonderful. Stories that don't ask the reader to just suspend their disbelief, but fire it with prejudice and order it to clean out its desk before lunch.

So let's see where our imagination takes us. Difficult, within the constraints of a Writing Exercise, so skip the boring introduction and drop the reader in medias res. Tell the tallest tales you can think of, the most outrageous lies, the boldest excuses.

The usual rules apply. Stick to the 250-400 word count (ish), and nothing that wouldn't make it past Laurel's screening: no underage, no snuff, no bestiality, no non-consensual non-consent.

Go ahead and tap into your inner Munchhausen...

To clarify, a fantasy begins, "Once upon a time in a land far, far away." A tall tale, in Texas anyway, begins, "Y'all sombitches ain't gonna believe this..."

 

[EmilyMiller]

From my WIP Halloween story, Shining Valley High, which marks the return of my she-demon / angel girlfriends, Emma and Lily:

—

I prided myself on my deep throat skills, which were excellent, even for a she-demon. But I had to admit that Lily was the true oral aficionado. While I was slurping and spluttering over the smaller of the pair, the larger Nephilim slid smoothly and rapidly into my girlfriend’s talented throat.

For a while there was no sound except for sucking, then the two ‘boys’ began to moan, and then groan. I side-eyed Lily. She assured me that she was focussing on the mission, and definitely not getting carried away with fellatio.

My fiancé’s special oral skills had her guy grab the back of her head and begin to thrust deeply into her esophagus. Mine was not far behind and I felt a familiar twitching in my mouth. Wordlessly I said to Lily, ‘Soon.’

As the first spurt of cum hit my throat, I saw my guy start to metamorphose. His human skin burst asunder and the inner demon began to emerge. Beside me the shrivelled dermis of Lily’s partner was already crumpled around his cruel, clawed feet. He now looked more reptile than humanoid.

In my mouth, I felt skin turn to scales, and the invading rod grow even larger. Sharp talons dug into my skull. Looking up, the Nephilim’s face was covered in scutes, his head crowned with a ring of thorns, and he had two fiery pits for eyes. To my left, an unearthly growl emanated from the ragged maw of his companion as he orgasmed. ‘Now!’ I signalled mentally to Lily.

Simultaneously we both bit hard, teeth shearing through flesh, blood and semen comingling. The two unmanned Nephilim looked at each other for an astonished instant, and then the fire in their eyes went out, and their physical beings evaporated.

Lily spat out a severed supernatural penis, and exclaimed, “Mouthwash, I need mouthwash.”

Then she raised her eyes to me, arms akimbo. “Em, you didn’t?”

I finished chewing and swallowed, giving my ‘I’m a demon, I can’t help it,’ shrug.

 

[dream_yahoozie]

So going with the concept of tall tales explaining things, similar to how the ancient Greeks did with their gods, I've created a quick Tall Tale.

You've heard the tale of Paul Bunyan. Nearly fifty feet in height, swings an axe that could clear an acre. Literal mountain of a man.

But not much is said about his sister, Paula. After giving birth to Paul, his parents swore off having anymore children. But cold winter nights and not much to do lead couples to do the deed.

Little Paula only started little. She grew up faster than Paul did. Just shy of forty feet, she was an impressive lady.

Problem was, she was a lot of person to cover up. Her mother did the best she could sewing dresses for Paula. And they would have covered her up modestly if not for the problem of finding underwear large enough to fit her.

So whenever she travelled, there was lots of eyes to the skies. Not just to see the giant beauty as she went, but also to view her large exposed pussy.

Many catcalls and wolf whistles followed her.

One day, she was sitting by a river in the forest, relaxed with her legs splayed open. She had heard from some of the other ladies in town about taking care of themselves when their husbands couldn't.

Finding her clitoris, she rubbed and tugged and flicked and tickled. She went at it, increasing intensity and determination. Feeling a new sensation forming inside her, like climbing a mountain of pleasure. She erupted in ecstasy, figuratively and literally.

Her toes unclenched, feeling the sensation die down in her, Paula opened her eyes. Looking at the new clearing in front of her with downed trees and uprooted shrubs.

"Oops, I just created a flood that flashed out of nowhere."

And that's how flash floods were invented.

 

[dirk2024]

Yo brother @StillStunned ...can you spare a few 100 words for a guy down on his luck?

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

Yo brother @StillStunned ...can you spare a few 100 words for a guy down on his luck?

Maybe if we created an LLM from LW we might finally understand it

 

[dirk2024]

400 words...exactly!



Janey eased her sore body in through the front door of her downtown San Francisco apartment. It was a hard-fought game, but her team, the Golden State Valkyries, had come out on top 88-84 over the Los Angeles Sparks. It was a statistical win for Janey as well, scoring 18 points with 12 rebounds and three assists.

At 7’1”, she was the tallest player in the WNBA, just beating the 6’11” Han Xu of the Liberty. The battle was on to see which one would be crowned the MVP at the end of the season.

“Hey babe,” her boyfriend Johnny met her in the kitchen, “great game, I saw you on TV.” He handed her a rum and coke and watched, concerned, as she sat stiffly at their kitchen table.

“Thanks for the drink sweetie,” she took a long sip then winked. “I could have used this an hour ago."

“You’re hurtin’ aren’t you?” he asked, knowing the answer.

“Yeah, there was a lot of banging with Azura tonight,” she winced. “Since I tower over her, she beat me up down low trying to win position all night long.”

Johnny stood up and reached for her hand, “let’s get you into a hot shower, okay? I promise to take good care of my winning gal!”

Janey chuckled, then gratefully accepted the help up as they made their way to the expansive bathroom. She stood there as he turned the water on and adjusted the temperature to that perfect level of heat she liked. He turned and leered at her as their favorite part was next, disrobing. She didn’t like showering in the team locker room, so he had to peel her sweaty uniform from her pretty frame, kissing along the way.

He settled her down into the wheelchair, kissed her deeply, then backed them both into the shower and under the spray. Kneeling in front of her, Johnny reached up to the sockets where the prosthetic limbs attached to what was left of her thighs. At the time, the accident had been thought catastrophic, but technology and Janey’s can-do attitude turned the horrible experience into a winning situation. Fortunately, long basketball shorts and top-of-the-line prosthetics meant no one was the wiser.

Janey lovingly stroked his face as Johnny leaned in between her stumps. He loved to pleasure her with his mouth and couldn’t wait to taste the winner before him.


Sorry, I went with Tall more than Tales. But a person with prostetics playing professional basketball could be fantastical!