Stories embracing ambiguity

[FrancesScott]

As I reader, I like ambiguity in the beginning and middle but I want things to be mostly resolved by the end.

I’m probably doing a bad job of explaining.

There is a resolution, the narrator actively decides to do something, or to try to. The outcome of this is not stated, but - as the story is essentially about their mental state - this is not relevant. The closure is them making a choice. The ambiguities are:

1. Did the narrator have an actual break-up or was it all in their head?
2. Is the subject of their new infatuation as perfect an individual (appearance and character) as they initially believe?
3. What is the true nature of the marriage featured and the third wheel in this relationship?
4. What is the gender of the narrator?

The story - which is super short at 4,000 words - is actually very straightforward.

 

[NotWise]

Many people seemed incredibly bothered by all this and requested that things be explained. Is this normal around here?

I'm not super familiar with LW, but the readers don't seem all that bothered. Your score is normal for the category, and none of them want you to die. It's typical for readers in LW to comment a lot and many of the comments reflect the ambiguity that you intentionally left in the story.

I think you could expect some reaction to the ambiguity wherever you put the story. The question I have left, is why did you leave so many ambiguities?

 

[FrancesScott]

The question I have left, is why did you leave so many ambiguities?

Good question. Different elements to that.

First, I’m a relatively experienced writer; both mainstream and erotica. But here - as per my profile - I’m experimenting, trying different stuff, aiming to stretch myself.

Second, I was trying to capture the disorientation that relationship difficulties (real or imagined) can lead to and the sometimes extreme reactions that people can have to these.

Third, I wanted to cover how obsession / infatuation can be based on desperately wanting the world to be a certain way, almost antipodal to reality. That obsession can lead to distorted perception.

Fourth, the narrator is a mess - mostly of their own making. And I wanted their febrile mental state to be reflected in the writing.

Fifth, I was interested in portraying obsession in a gender-neutral manner, it’s not just a male thing. This led to the idea of writing the piece in a manner where the reader could bring their own image of the narrator to the story. E.g. the sex is non-penetrative. I suppose that technical challenge appealed to me. I avoid a twist reveal, everything is left so as the reader can define the protagonist themselves.

 

[FrancesScott]

Good question. Different elements to that.

First, I’m a relatively experienced writer; both mainstream and erotica. But here - as per my profile - I’m experimenting, trying different stuff, aiming to stretch myself.

Second, I was trying to capture the disorientation that relationship difficulties (real or imagined) can lead to and the sometimes extreme reactions that people can have to these.

Third, I wanted to cover how obsession / infatuation can be based on desperately wanting the world to be a certain way, almost antipodal to reality. That obsession can lead to distorted perception.

Fourth, the narrator is a mess - mostly of their own making. And I wanted their febrile mental state to be reflected in the writing.

Fifth, I was interested in portraying obsession in a gender-neutral manner, it’s not just a male thing. This led to the idea of writing the piece in a manner where the reader could bring their own image of the narrator to the story. E.g. the sex is non-penetrative. I suppose that technical challenge appealed to me. I avoid a twist reveal, everything is left so as the reader can define the protagonist themselves.

As with my first story here, Ice Cream, I feel the need to write a ‘what I wrote and why.’ I guess if I have to explain to that degree, I’ve failed as an author.

 

[FrancesScott]

I’m probably doing a bad job of explaining.

There is a resolution, the narrator actively decides to do something, or to try to. The outcome of this is not stated, but - as the story is essentially about their mental state - this is not relevant. The closure is them making a choice. The ambiguities are:

1. Did the narrator have an actual break-up or was it all in their head?
2. Is the subject of their new infatuation as perfect an individual (appearance and character) as they initially believe?
3. What is the true nature of the marriage featured and the third wheel in this relationship?
4. What is the gender of the narrator?

The story - which is super short at 4,000 words - is actually very straightforward.

It just struck me that my list is rather similar to David Lynch’s list of questions he created as an aid to understanding Mulholand Dr. I guess that’s kind of appropriate. I adore that movie, and the ambiguity present in most of his work.

 

[Voyeurkenneth]

I’m probably doing a bad job of explaining.

There is a resolution, the narrator actively decides to do something, or to try to. The outcome of this is not stated, but - as the story is essentially about their mental state - this is not relevant. The closure is them making a choice. The ambiguities are:

1. Did the narrator have an actual break-up or was it all in their head?
2. Is the subject of their new infatuation as perfect an individual (appearance and character) as they initially believe?
3. What is the true nature of the marriage featured and the third wheel in this relationship?
4. What is the gender of the narrator?

The story - which is super short at 4,000 words - is actually very straightforward.

I think the questions you've posed helped elucidate the story for me, the fact we're dealing with an unreliable narrator.

Question 3 is fascinating to me; still has me trying to figure out the thematic link to the other questions.

For what it's worth, I don't think you're entitled to explain anything to your readers, much in the same way Lynch doesn't. What I like about Lynch movies is watching one, trying to decipher myself, then watching a long-form video essay on Youtube to try and gain more perspective. All that to say, I'd personally be interested in a WIWAW if you ever write one

 

[DarkCosmos]

For what it's worth, I don't think you're entitled to explain anything to your readers.

I completely agree with this. At the end of the day, if you're writing something to challenge yourself, then don't base whether you've succeeded or not purely on what others have to say about your work. Even if there's just one other person out there who resonates with your vision and supports your writing, then that work is a success, in my opinion. I'll start worrying about my writings being popular when someone decides they want to start paying me for them. Until then, find the audience you want to listen to, and don't worry about what anyone else has to say on the matter.

 

[AG31]

Readers want straightforward boners, not confused ones.

Some do, some don't.

 

[AG31]

I think it depends what the focus of the story is. I have a couple of stories where the POV character's gender isn't specified, and no-one's ever asked about it. But several other ambiguities have been questioned.

Perhaps, in particular with shorter fiction, they want full closure. I don't think many people read short-form fiction, particularly not on an erotica website, to be left wondering.

I think it would have to be a tour de force, but those are always fun. @FrancesScott, it looks like it hasn't been published yet. Tell us when it's available and how many Lit pages it is.

 

[FrancesScott]

I think the questions you've posed helped elucidate the story for me, the fact we're dealing with an unreliable narrator.

It would have helped if I had used that term earlier.

 

[NotWise]

The story was interesting and held me to the end, which is rare.

My personal reaction to your list of ambiguities:

Did the narrator have an actual break-up or was it all in their head?

I went through the whole story without asking that question. It didn't seem ambiguous. It became ambiguous because of the conversation at the end where it seems there was no breakup. That's more of a twist ending than an ambiguity.

Is the subject of their new infatuation as perfect an individual (appearance and character) as they initially believe?

As with the previous point, there's no question about it until near the end when the narrator says that Ellie/Tammy wasn't as attractive as they thought. It's pretty common to think someone is attractive before you have sex with them and then realize afterwords that they aren't as attractive as you thought. That might even be a trope.

What is the true nature of the marriage featured and the third wheel in this relationship?

That relationship seemed mostly incidental to the story. I shrugged it off as probably a bi menage a troi and didn't need to spend much time wondering about it.

What is the gender of the narrator?

That didn't seem very ambiguous. The line, "Next time put a towel down," in response to a messy orgasm made me think the narrator was a woman, and nothing later in the story contradicted that. Men usually have more likely options then putting a towel down. Naming the character "Alexis" seemed to confirm it.

 

[FrancesScott]

The story was interesting and held me to the end, which is rare.

Thanks for reading and the feedback!

My personal reaction to your list of ambiguities:


I went through the whole story without asking that question. It didn't seem ambiguous. It became ambiguous because of the conversation at the end where it seems there was no breakup. That's more of a twist ending than an ambiguity.

It was more unreliable narration, as they had claimed a break up.

As with the previous point, there's no question about it until near the end when the narrator says that Ellie/Tammy wasn't as attractive as they thought. It's pretty common to think someone is attractive before you have sex with them and then realize afterwords that they aren't as attractive as you thought. That might even be a trope.

I wasn’t thinking of that, but you are right. My intent was more that the bubble of their infatuation was punctured by the husband and his friend.

That relationship seemed mostly incidental to the story. I shrugged it off as probably a bi menage a troi and didn't need to spend much time wondering about it.

It was a deus ex in order to give Ellie / Tammy motivation.

That didn't seem very ambiguous. The line, "Next time put a towel down," in response to a messy orgasm made me think the narrator was a woman, and nothing later in the story contradicted that. Men usually have more likely options then putting a towel down. Naming the character "Alexis" seemed to confirm it.

I had a problem here. I guess my knowledge of guys masturbating is limited. I thought it was gender neutral, but I guess it was a tell.

But I have two colleagues called Alexis, one male and one female, which is where the idea came from. I looked it up - according to the Internet (which never lies of course), it’s 40 / 60 in the U.S. in favor of being a female name, but 60 / 40 in favor of being a male name globally.

 

[NotWise]

I had a problem here. I guess my knowledge of guys masturbating is limited. I thought it was gender neutral, but I guess it was a tell.

But I have two colleagues called Alexis, one male and one female, which is where the idea came from. I looked it up - according to the Internet (which never lies of course), it’s 40 / 60 in the U.S. in favor of being a female name, but 60 / 40 in favor of being a male name globally.

If you'd had the character clean themselves with a towel it would have been androgynous.

I see that Alexis is supposed to be common as a man's name, but I don't think I've known anyone named Alexis, male or female. The only celebrities I could think of named Alexis were women, and asking Google for celebrities name Alexis produced a list of women. I'm sure it wasn't an exhaustive list.

For me, "Alex" might have worked better. "Sam" is a fairly common androgynous name. "Mel" might be fairly common, too. And then there's "Pat."

Regardless, I enjoyed the read.

 

[ElectricBlue]

Many people seemed incredibly bothered by all this and requested that things be explained. Is this normal around here?

How many is many? I wouldn't be determining "normal" based on on or two disgruntled readers who might be less astute. On the other hand, if the comments come often and with a story, you might be writing over the heads of your "average reader". That might be your issue, but it's probably more likely theirs.

I've had a couple of readers ask, "But what about the husband?" to which I replied, "Don't know, the story's not about him."

 

[FrancesScott]

How many is many?

I think I made it worse by commenting that it was meant to be ambiguous.

 

[FrancesScott]

Regardless, I enjoyed the read.

Then it was worth me writing it. Thank you.

 

[ElectricBlue]

I think I made it worse by commenting that it was meant to be ambiguous.

You did drop it into Loving Wives, so the bar for subtlety is set fairly low. Did you mean to do that, being new and maybe a bit "category innocent"?

 

[dirk2024]

There is definitely an audience for more cerebral fiction on Lit. It’s just if there's a bright center of the erotic literature universe, Loving Wives is the category that's furthest from it .

I agree with Emily, in that the category of Loving Wives was not the right place for this story. From what I've read here about the LV category, LV readers have their expections and there was nothing for them in your submission. IMO, Romance would have been a better choice.

As I wrote in my comment, I enjoyed reading the story, and was left unsure of the outcome between the two women and assumed that was your intention.

 

[FrancesScott]

You did drop it into Loving Wives, so the bar for subtlety is set fairly low. Did you mean to do that, being new and maybe a bit "category innocent"?

I guess I wanted to see what all the fuss was about. Not much as it happens.

 

[Bramblethorn]

My second Summer Lovin’ story is laced with ambiguity and people misunderstanding / miscommunicating. The status of the narrator's existing relationship is not described reliably, but via a prism of hurt feelings. The nature of the marriage of two characters is unclear. The relationship of the husband with a male friend is open to interpretation. The appearance of the wife is exaggerated by the narrator’s mental state. And even the gender of the narrator is not definitively established.

Many people seemed incredibly bothered by all this and requested that things be explained. Is this normal around here?

IME yes. A lot of people are here for comfort reading (which isn't good or bad, just a preference) and some of those people aren't great at understanding that not everything needs to be written for their preferences.

 

[DarkCosmos]

and some of those people aren't great at understanding that not everything needs to be written for their preferences.

I'll take "understatement of the century" for five-hundred, please, Alex.

 

[FrancesScott]

IME yes. A lot of people are here for comfort reading (which isn't good or bad, just a preference) and some of those people aren't great at understanding that not everything needs to be written for their preferences.

Duly noted.

 

[Nightaelf]

That was the distinct vibe that I got. I suppose my story isn’t great jerk-off material. Then it’s a free site, I don’t have to write jerk-off material all the time (I do sometimes).

Some People like to jerk of no matter what though.... And Some People need a step by step manuaal.

 

[FrancesScott]

Tell us when it's available and how many Lit pages it is.

It was published last Friday and it’s very short, just two pages.

https://www.literotica.com/s/in-the-eye-of-the-beholder-1

 

[AG31]

It was published last Friday and it’s very short, just two pages.

https://www.literotica.com/s/in-the-eye-of-the-beholder-1

Very nicely done. I kept wondering how I would have interpreted the narrator's gender if I hadn't read this thread. As it was, I didn't know the gender for sure, but I knew my uncertainty wasn't just me being 'duh.' I do think there were two or three giveaways, though, most particularly the "spread my legs" to reveal arousal and use of "masturbating." Should you want to take this approach again.