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Depression. It's a silent killer.

GoNorth2Camp said:
Happy birthday! There’s two ways to look at that… The more realistic way, it’s just a number. I’m gonna be 60 in 7 1/2 months. Enjoy it! It doesn’t have to be all bad.
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It’s not a bad thing. It’s a milestone I didn’t think I would reach last year. And even though I still don’t know for sure whether I’ve beaten cancer, I’ve already won several battles along the way. The depression is an unpleasant side effect, this time caused more by Tamoxifen (anti-hormone therapy) than by anything else. On Monday I’ll start with antidepressants.
 
Carmina24 said:
Sometimes the darkness feels endless.
Like the world has gone quiet and your own voice is too tired to call out.
But if you’re here - reading this - it means some part of you still wants to be heard. And that’s brave. That’s beautiful. That’s enough.

Lit isn’t just a site. It’s a lifeline for many of us.
A place where thoughts spill out safely. Where pain becomes poetry. Where arousal, heartbreak, joy, and survival sit side by side like old friends whispering stories into the night.

Here, you can write the ache out of your chest.
Here, you can read something that makes you feel seen.
Here, you can find strangers who somehow know your soul.

If today hurts - let it.
But also let Lit hold you for a while.
Let your words be messy. Let your comments be quiet. Let your stories be unfinished.
You don’t need to sparkle here. You just need to be.

And if the only thing you’ve done today is survive, then I’m proud of you.
This place is proof that words can be a lifeline. That someone, somewhere within Lit, understands.

You are not alone.
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Thank you, Carmina. Words like these help a lot.
 
What strikes me about myself at the moment is how much I’m struggling with the fact that one of my stories has been pending since August 24. Still no publication date. And I do understand. I understand this is a free site and that I should be grateful for the platform I get and the opportunities it offers. I don’t mean anything in a negative way. But over the past months I’ve noticed how much anticipation publishing a story gives me, the excitement of waiting for reactions, which have so far often been very positive.

Just the whole process of finding out what people think of what I’ve written has actually brought me a lot of positivity. And now I feel as if that’s being withheld from me. Which makes no sense. Rationally, I know these thoughts don’t lead anywhere and only drag me further into the dark pit I’m already in. But emotionally it feels like a string in my head keeps being pulled, saying over and over: see, see, see. That insecurity surfaces again. Even though it makes no sense. All twelve stories I’ve published before went through without any problem. There’s no reason to think it won’t this time. It hasn’t been rejected, it’s just sitting there on pending, nothing happening. So the insecurity takes up residence in my head.

And maybe what I’ve read here this week, that some people are looking for connection on the forum, I realize that I look for that connection in the responses to my stories. We all have our own mechanisms for trying to cope with things.
 
Nightaelf said:
Btw.... I turned 50 today.....
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Happy belated birthday. I hope it was a good one.
I know sometimes these milestones can cause us to drop into our depression deeper. Whether from the let down after the celebration or from the feeling of being alone if no celebration happens.

I hope you can find that 50 is just getting started.

Be safe out there.
 
Wetkitty09 said:
Happy belated birthday. I hope it was a good one.
I know sometimes these milestones can cause us to drop into our depression deeper. Whether from the let down after the celebration or from the feeling of being alone if no celebration happens.

I hope you can find that 50 is just getting started.

Be safe out there.
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Thank you! It’s all fine, and I’m glad I made it. For the first time in my adult life I’m going to celebrate it properly tomorrow with family and friends. The depression is already knocking a little against my determination, but I won’t let it be spoiled by annoying feelings of doom. I’ve built in enough options to retreat for a moment if I need to.
 
Nightaelf said:
It’s not a bad thing. It’s a milestone I didn’t think I would reach last year. And even though I still don’t know for sure whether I’ve beaten cancer, I’ve already won several battles along the way. The depression is an unpleasant side effect, this time caused more by Tamoxifen (anti-hormone therapy) than by anything else. On Monday I’ll start with antidepressants.
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I wish you the best of luck, trying to stay strong is one of the hardest parts of dealing with cancer and its therapies. Antidepressants have their own challenges. They are one of those that you need to really think about and make sure you do a lot of follow through. I hope you heal well.
 
The smoke in my area of WA state is thick and another fire has started this morning due to the storms. Not near me thankfully but definitely within 50 miles.
I hope the forecasted rains will knock the fires down and clear the air.
It’s hard to breathe and the atmosphere is depressing.

Be safe out there.
Love you.
 
Wetkitty09 said:
The smoke in my area of WA state is thick and another fire has started this morning due to the storms. Not near me thankfully but definitely within 50 miles.
I hope the forecasted rains will knock the fires down and clear the air.
It’s hard to breathe and the atmosphere is depressing.

Be safe out there.
Love you.
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Wishing you and your beautiful state good luck.
 
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