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Depression. It's a silent killer.

Years ago, I went through a severe clinical depression. I had a lot of therapy sessions, antidepressants, and learned tools to cope with it. The depression still comes and goes, but most of the time I know how to handle it. I no longer feel like I would be better off dead or that no one would miss me. I’ve been working on my sense of self-worth and focusing on the things I can control. Writing has become a big part of that process for me.

Now I’ve fallen back into another depression, mostly because I’m on anti-hormone therapy due to cancer. It causes mood swings, which fuel the depression. The one thing I’m grateful for is that I can now recognize it for what it is, and I know when it’s time to ask for real help.

I already have an appointment with my psychiatrist on Monday to discuss medication.
 
I have learned my markers and triggers over time as well. Being aware of how I’m feeling at any time helps to keep the fall from being too far.
Knowing what helps to bring me back is important too. Because we all fall, no matter how well we care for ourselves. Life doesn’t pull punches. Being resilient is a learning process that is hard but so worth it.

Be safe out there.
Love you.
 
Nightaelf said:
Years ago, I went through a severe clinical depression. I had a lot of therapy sessions, antidepressants, and learned tools to cope with it. The depression still comes and goes, but most of the time I know how to handle it. I no longer feel like I would be better off dead or that no one would miss me. I’ve been working on my sense of self-worth and focusing on the things I can control. Writing has become a big part of that process for me.

Now I’ve fallen back into another depression, mostly because I’m on anti-hormone therapy due to cancer. It causes mood swings, which fuel the depression. The one thing I’m grateful for is that I can now recognize it for what it is, and I know when it’s time to ask for real help.

I already have an appointment with my psychiatrist on Monday to discuss medication.
Click to expand...
I hope Monday helps. Wishing you all the best.
 
Wetkitty09 said:
Labor Day. Summers officially over. I’m not happy to see it go but time moves. Fall is a beautiful season and a lesson in contrast.

Be safe out there.
Love you.
Click to expand...
I’m an autumn child, born on the edge of summer. I want to feel grounded, yet most of the time I drift, never really belonging, always looking for a place. And just when I think I’ve landed, the ground shifts again.

Labor Day feels like that leaf as well, originally from America, once meant for May 1st, blown across the world and embraced, then skipping the very place it came from and ending up in September instead.
 
Pad_Foot said:
I don’t deserve to be depressed
When Lit has more troubles than fun, you should take a break

I guess I need a break

I wish that was not true
Click to expand...
We deserve to feel the way we feel without being judged by others who don’t know what we go through.

If Lit is being a bitch then by all means take a break. Just don’t forget some of us want you to succeed in the way that makes you feel successful.

Be safe out there.
Love you.
 
Seems like it's become so much harder to make friends with women both for real and here on lit. I put the effort out only for constant rejections. Lit has become full of people who say hi then disappear from you and don't put much effort into trying to build a conversation to make a new friend
 
athelticguy04 said:
Seems like it's become so much harder to make friends with women both for real and here on lit. I put the effort out only for constant rejections. Lit has become full of people who say hi then disappear from you and don't put much effort into trying to build a conversation to make a new friend
Click to expand...
Do you do that in this chat about depression? Then maybe it’s not so strange. Or do you mean on the forum in general?
 
Wetkitty09 said:
Morning. Solitude is a killer. I know this. When I start to spiral I know I have to get out and find someone to be around, preferably doing some kind of work to improve something.
Whether I do or not makes a difference on how bad it’s going to get.

Be safe out there.
Love you.
Click to expand...
I don’t know about your living situation. I am currently going through a divorce. My children (both of which are older) went with my wife. I have found being in the backyard and working on a garden, working on projects around the house, keeping my hands busy… Not just with my penis, lol, but trying to accomplish at least one thing in my day really helps.
 
In itself I do understand that people, in general, want meaningful conversations. But what I know from depression and being depressed is that I am often not the most fun person to talk to. You want deep, opinionated, meaningful conversations, yet if I look at myself it’s often that I’m too much in my own head and really just need to vent.

I’ve noticed, and this isn’t even about member-to-member interaction, but also just with my friends, that while people may want too deeply interact in theory, in practice they can’t always handle the weight of my depression. And I don’t blame them for it.

Maybe seeking connection on a forum, with the expectation of more than a few sentences back and forth, isn’t actually the right way to look for it. I don’t mean that in a dismissive way. I just mean that sometimes our own expectations create the very gap we end up falling into.
razor33a said:
I feel the same. Conversations are more snippets than before. Actual forums like lit are the only form that seems to handle longer interactions. Dealing with depression just makes it worse, like a really stinky hit sauce.
Click to expand...
 
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