Domination and manhood.

[delphi604]

I'm a 45-year-old married man with a beloved wife and two children. I'm in a mid-level management job at a large corporation. I have long wanted to be collared, restrained with a leash, made to stand in a cramped, cold-metal standing jail cell, subjected to whipping, flogging, and strapping, and vigorous butt-fucking. Does that craving make me less of a man?

 

[cdstefi]

Why does it bother you about the definition of a man?

There's a pretty good track record of in-control, typically "alpha" males in everyday life wanting to give up control completely and be vulnerable in their kinky sex lives. A trained analyst would be able to get to it better than I can, but it's so common as to be almost the norm, I'd say.

I'm probably similar, in that I fulfil a professional role (not management but a solid responsible and physical and demanding job nonetheless), have done the family man thing although my kids are all grown up and independent now. I've never felt the need for deep submission or humiliation, but I have my kinks (lingerie and gay sex for me).

I think trying to keep our vanilla life and expectations in sync with the deep sexual stuff that turns us on deep down is futile. You can live a double life if you can learn to compartmentalise and are *really* careful about not allowing bleed over between your two worlds.

 

[BillyWalrus]

I'm a 45-year-old married man with a beloved wife and two children. I'm in a mid-level management job at a large corporation. I have long wanted to be collared, restrained with a leash, made to stand in a cramped, cold-metal standing jail cell, subjected to whipping, flogging, and strapping, and vigorous butt-fucking. Does that craving make me less of a man?

Definitely. Just joking.

For the last six years I have been sucking my girlfriend's big cock and getting fucked up the ass. Submissive in the bedroom? Hell, yes, I am. Outside the bedroom? Watch it, mister.

 

[delphi604]

Why does it bother you about the definition of a man?

There's a pretty good track record of in-control, typically "alpha" males in everyday life wanting to give up control completely and be vulnerable in their kinky sex lives. A trained analyst would be able to get to it better than I can, but it's so common as to be almost the norm, I'd say.

I'm probably similar, in that I fulfil a professional role (not management but a solid responsible and physical and demanding job nonetheless), have done the family man thing although my kids are all grown up and independent now. I've never felt the need for deep submission or humiliation, but I have my kinks (lingerie and gay sex for me).

I think trying to keep our vanilla life and expectations in sync with the deep sexual stuff that turns us on deep down is futile. You can live a double life if you can learn to compartmentalise and are *really* careful about not allowing bleed over between your two worlds.

Thanks. I believe that a man (or a woman) can have intense fantasies and experiences simply because he or she likes them. IOW, they're part of their catalog of sexual tastes, just like intercourse, oral sex, anal, etc.

 

[DpropertyofR]

I once read that submissive males make up the largest population of BDSM enthusiasts. I have also heard many anecdotes about men who are in charge in their work life enjoying submissive sex, because it feels good to let someone else run the show for a change. As a submissive woman, I even find that this holds true for me. You’re definitely not alone in your fantasies.

 

[Samantha47]

I'm a 45-year-old married man with a beloved wife and two children. I'm in a mid-level management job at a large corporation. I have long wanted to be collared, restrained with a leash, made to stand in a cramped, cold-metal standing jail cell, subjected to whipping, flogging, and strapping, and vigorous butt-fucking. Does that craving make me less of a man?

Oh no honey it's perfect

 

[cascadiabound]

What you like is what you like. Your sexual preferences don't make you more or less of a man.

Edit: Just as the sexual preferences of a woman do not make them more or less of a woman.

 

[Samantha47]

What you like is what you like. Your sexual preferences don't make you more or less of a man.

I'm so glad you feel that way

 

[GayGuyForFun]

No, it doesn't make you any less of a man. Your mind is an incredibly complex system and the wealth of your human experience across your life is an almost unimaginably large dataset. I think to some degree the roots of some of our kinks may well remain a mystery to us. Why do we want this or that? We may never know. I think we shouldn't worry too much. Long as we're not hurting anybody who doesn't want to be hurt, and it's all consenting adults, do what you need. Or roleplay it. Or experience it in any way you can to relieve that desire.

 

[Samantha47]

No, it doesn't make you any less of a man. Your mind is an incredibly complex system and the wealth of your human experience across your life is an almost unimaginably large dataset. I think to some degree the roots of some of our kinks may well remain a mystery to us. Why do we want this or that? We may never know. I think we shouldn't worry too much. Long as we're not hurting anybody who doesn't want to be hurt, and it's all consenting adults, do what you need. Or roleplay it. Or experience it in any way you can to relieve that desire.

I agree fully

 

[alexcyb76]

that is how a real man should be

 

[Samantha47]

that is how a real man should be

Yes it is

 

[switchersm]

I've had a good job, responsible for some people, have now adult kids and am married second time. I'm 63, until 47 my sex live with both wives had been quite vanilla, but then I found a page in the web about cock cages and male chastity. I took my heart and talked to my wife about that and asked her, if we could try this. I've never regretted it. Our sexlife has total changed since then and is so erotic and adventorous . And although I'm caged permanently and pussy free 16 years now and have become a cuck 10 years ago , I dont feel unsafe in my manhood. I'm respected by all people , who know about it, and, as my beloved wife often says, a very brave man.

 

[NancyPan]

A good, and very common, question. As others have assured you, many (maybe most) males who are sexually submissive to women are successful and very capable and assertive in their public lives.

I am in a FLR, wear panties, 365/24/7, my wife controls my orgasms, I do household chores in a frilly apron, etc. I am a former athlete, maintain an athletic build, and present to the outside world as very masculine. None of our friends suspect, although the women often comment how helpful and kind I am.

What we do for a living and how we present in public has little to do with what we need for fulfillment as submissive males. Actually, my view is that it takes a lot of courage to submit to female authority.

 

[Erosfan]

I once read that submissive males make up the largest population of BDSM enthusiasts. I have also heard many anecdotes about men who are in charge in their work life enjoying submissive sex, because it feels good to let someone else run the show for a change. As a submissive woman, I even find that this holds true for me. You’re definitely not alone in your fantasies.

This holds true for me. I recently retired from a career where I have been in charge of massive assets and many people. Those I worked with would be shocked to learn of my sexual kinks and likes. My private life looks nothing remotely like my professional life.
In private and sometimes not so private, I am a pleaser. I want her to enjoy what she wants from me. I want to be her lover, her fantasy, her toy or whatever else she may need from me. I especially enjoy exhibitionism and CFNM. I want her to show her friends that I am hers, to do with as she wishes, any time, anywhere. I have never been able to get my SO to go this far. We do have fun with the ideas and thoughts because we discuss everything. She loves knowing I am hers and she chooses to keep it between us. I would like to take it further, but I can live with what we have.