Sex life as a parent

[CanuckKitty]

To get to the point - we've been trying to improve our sex life, but I have some... reservations, as a parent.

1. I'm not very quiet. I try, but... if it's good, it's good. Our older child is getting to an age where that could be awkward if he heard.

Did you hear your parents as a child? Rarely, often? Did it bother you, or pique your sexual curiosity? Has this been an issue for you as a parent?

2. I like toys. I've kept a few in my night stand for years, partially hidden but not really. I'm getting more paranoid about this and want to find a more discrete solution, while still keeping them fairy accessible to me.

How do you hide your toys? Do you keep them locked up? Hidden? In a drawer and who cares who finds them?

 

[Easypeter]

My wife asked me to build a box that would fit in our closet with a lock on it . She kept her toys and other things she liked to use sexually . I gladly built her a nice piece so it fit in with our decor . Our kids never knew !

 

[gtnlynn]

I kept our toys under clothes in a chest. My wife can be noisy, but our kids were far enough away that they couldn't hear. If she got loud enough to be a problem and entertain the neighbors, I put a small pillow over her mouth until she calmed down. It wasn't a good fix, but it worked.

 

[StillRain]

I just put my toys in the bottom drawer. I have a fairly open philosophy to all things sex. I want my children to grow up knowing about sex and with a healthy attitude towards it, not that it’s something to be embarrassed about or not discussed with mum should they want to or need to.

They know mum has sex, they just don't leave me alone enough to do so but that’s a whole other story - little cock blockers.

 

[CliodhnaOB]

To get to the point - we've been trying to improve our sex life, but I have some... reservations, as a parent.

1. I'm not very quiet. I try, but... if it's good, it's good. Our older child is getting to an age where that could be awkward if he heard.

Did you hear your parents as a child? Rarely, often? Did it bother you, or pique your sexual curiosity? Has this been an issue for you as a parent?

2. I like toys. I've kept a few in my night stand for years, partially hidden but not really. I'm getting more paranoid about this and want to find a more discrete solution, while still keeping them fairy accessible to me.

How do you hide your toys? Do you keep them locked up? Hidden? In a drawer and who cares who finds them?

I'm not a parent, but I have heard parents at it, still remember first time realised wat it was.
Now I know it's natural and a great sign that they still love eachother.

I hide my toys under my bed in a little gear bag

 

[Michael_Keaton]

I was raised as the child of a single mom and she had only one on-again-off-again boyfriend as I was growing up and he never spent the night (AFAIK). I was with my dad on weekends so things were probably different when I wasn't in the house.

My bedroom was at the very top of the stairs and I often slept with the bedroom door open and one night I heard them having sex in the living room. It was loud and the couch was squeaking in a regular rhythm and there was no doubt what was going on. I was old enough to know the basics of what was happening but young enough to not know the "particulars". At the time it didn't bother me - it was just something that was happening. It didn't scar me for life. Now I realize that my mom (as the saying goes) had "needs" and I'm pleased that she had someone to take care of those needs with.

As to the toys, my wife and I only had a very few. One was a corded vibrator that could easily be explained as something for sore muscles so it was kept in a drawer next to the bed. The second was a dildo that was kept in the top of a closet.

We tried to always be careful about putting the dildo away but also recognized that mistakes happen. We also realized that there were things going on in the bedroom that the kids didn't need to see so we had two rules. 1) This is our room and you do not go in there unless we're there. 2) If one or both of us is in there you knock before you go in. We also had the same #2 rule about the kids rooms. We always knocked before we went inside if they were there but we did reserve the right to go into their rooms if they weren't in there.
Wow, this got long winded! I hope my personal experience helps.

 

[Houstonblonde]

This is why I need a sound proof sex room with finger print entry!!!!!

 

[RedDevilCock]

Grew up pretty sheltered, stumbled upon folks having sex at a Young age. Realized and backed out of the room. (So much for making breakfast for them).
I didn't hide it from my kids. Was very open about it with them didn't want false information and friends being the knowledge basis. They ended up asking lots of questions. After a couple of divorces. I still got calls and tests and conversations with the kids.

Both my ex's weren't the best of people in that regard.

 

[Britva415]

Did you hear your parents as a child?

Yes

Rarely, often?

Rarely

Did it bother you

No

or pique your sexual curiosity?

Only a little

Has this been an issue for you as a parent?

No

How do you hide your toys? Do you keep them locked up? Hidden? In a drawer and who cares who finds them?

They're in a place which is like my private stuff. It's not locked away and it's not exactly "hidden," more like just - if you found those, it was because you were looking where you shouldn't have been because of privacy. My kid is old enough to understand that.

Beyond that, respecting privacy is MUCH more important than whether he is exposed to sex and sex toys or not. As a parent, I am NOT interested in pretending to be a neuter human being. I think that that's far more harmful than just being thoughtfully, appropriately transparent if something is seen or questions are asked.

Look - people used to live 12 to a household, multiple generations, in one room. Everybody knew what was going on between mommy and daddy, and even between nana and grampy. It didn't harm anyone then and it won't in 2025 either.

 

[B_mossy24]

Love this thread! Very refreshing to hear all your perspectives.

I leave my toys in a shoe box next to my bed, I really don't stress about if my kids are going to see them because I also want to be transparent and open with them if they see something or are curious, and I'd they're seeing it in my room then they've snooped and that's what they get hahah but I'm also a single mom with 2 girls, I'm not bringing anyone home to have sex or anything like that. I think I'd have a tough time with that because my room is touching both my kids rooms, too. But hasn't been an issue yet.

 

[TorontoShane]

I heard my parents all the time. It was natural and I was just proud of them for being so happy together all the time. It was never something they felt they had to hide. Just made for a healthy environment to talk about sex naturally.

 

[Wag_that_tail86]

It's always puzzled me why society, especially in the U.S., is so uptight about sex. Uptight about our bodies too. It's good that some people grow up in households with healthy attitudes about sex and sexuality.

 

[bisissyhusband1]

My wife and I keep our sex toys in a drawer under the bed, where they are easy to access. Dildos, vibrators, strapons, vibrating butt plugs, cuffs, riding crop, canes, wrist and ankle restraints, bullet vibrators, sexy underwear for both of us, etc.
Hope our house cleaner never finds them, or maybe we do!

 

[razor33a]

It's not locked away and it's not exactly "hidden," more like just - if you found those, it was because you were looking where you shouldn't have been because of privacy. My kid is old enough to understand that.

Same here. Kid had walked in once but she was too young to know anything than "mom and dad are tickle fighting" and we were covered. Wife and I came from different experiences regarding sex in the house also. The proximity of the kid also made a convenient reason she would avoid sex. Funny story: kid was about 6 and comes out to show us the ring she found. A pinkish vibrating silicone cock ring that i left in the headboard and not a drawer becuse it was a pain to dig for in the heat of the moment. We had that "don't freak or she'll know something" response and said oh that's nice but that's not for you and you shouldn't be in out room as we took it back and turrnes off the vibrator button. One day she'll here the story but we still laugh.

 

[Britva415]

The proximity of the kid also made a convenient reason she would avoid sex.

It sucks that people can't just say what they want and have to contrive "convenient" excuses instead.

 

[smtst5]

This is why I need a sound proof sex room with finger print entry!!!!!

Finger print entry for the room or for…. Never mind

 

[1DarkNightOwl]

@CanuckKitty you did not specify the child's age. Nit that it matters but it may improve the responses.

I just put my toys in the bottom drawer. I have a fairly open philosophy to all things sex. I want my children to grow up knowing about sex and with a healthy attitude towards it, not that it’s something to be embarrassed about or not discussed with mum should they want to or need to.

They know mum has sex, they just don't leave me alone enough to do so but that’s a whole other story - little cock blockers.

This was the approach we took and I feel remains the best perticually for long term partners. The toys and other essentials are in our bedside drawers. Not on display but also not locked away. They were just tought nothing for them in our room.

Children learn at an early age there are body differences, where baby comes from is usually asked while the child is single digits in age. Our daughter went through puberty at an early age and therefore no hiding from sex. She walked in on us as a teenager. I don't think it has traumatised her.

Best to be open from the start.

 

[Lucien_Al]

Most of our family and friends know we have a sex room although they are not aware of what it looks like and what toys and furniture we have in the room. It is our personal play space where we can leave our hassles of daily life at the door and enjoy each other. Our kids are all grown up and we have made it clear to them that the fact that we have an active sex life should be seen as a good thing but also a private one.

 

[mortis]

For many year’s Saturday morning routine was to clean the house. As we were almost finished we would shower together before heading out. We fucked in the shower every Saturday and Sunday for many years.

 

[Michael_Keaton]

For many year’s Saturday morning routine was to clean the house. As we were almost finished we would shower together before heading out. We fucked in the shower every Saturday and Sunday for many years.

That's cool. My wife and I had a similar routine once the kids were out of the house. I'd get up and fix a "continental breakfast", usually fresh muffins and coffee, which we'd eat in bed. After the food was gone one of us would give the other a full body massage which always turned to sex. It went on for several years and I still haven't figured out why we stopped doing it - but we did. :-(

 

[Lucien_Al]

This is why I need a sound proof sex room with finger print entry!!!!!

I dont think our sex room is sound proofed but I guess you would need to ask the neighbors lol

 

[Houstonblonde]

I dont think our sex room is sound proofed but I guess you would need to ask the neighbors lol

Insulation. Great insulation!

 

[Lickr4u]

To get to the point - we've been trying to improve our sex life, but I have some... reservations, as a parent.

1. I'm not very quiet. I try, but... if it's good, it's good. Our older child is getting to an age where that could be awkward if he heard.

Did you hear your parents as a child? Rarely, often? Did it bother you, or pique your sexual curiosity? Has this been an issue for you as a parent?

2. I like toys. I've kept a few in my night stand for years, partially hidden but not really. I'm getting more paranoid about this and want to find a more discrete solution, while still keeping them fairy accessible to me.

How do you hide your toys? Do you keep them locked up? Hidden? In a drawer and who cares who finds them?

We tried to work our schedule around the times the children weren’t home.

As they got older, for a little loud adult time, we would book hotel escapes every few months while the grandparents would spend the night watching them.

Toys are kept in a travel bag in a dresser drawer.

 

[LittleMissLandmine]

It's always puzzled me why society, especially in the U.S., is so uptight about sex. Uptight about our bodies too. It's good that some people grow up in households with healthy attitudes about sex and sexuality.

Puritanical beliefs have always been a fundamental backbone of this country, and they still are even 400+ years after the arrival of the first Puritans here. Many of us have been instilled with those values without knowing why or how. I live in a part of the country that was founded on religious *intolerance.*

Beliefs so fundamental and insidious are as hard to change as language. Whether we know it or not we are all inheritors of a culture that valued and is still guided by repression.

 

[RedDevilCock]

Puritanical beliefs have always been a fundamental backbone of this country, and they still are even 400+ years after the arrival of the first Puritans here. Many of us have been instilled with those values without knowing why or how. I live in a part of the country that was founded on religious *intolerance.*

Beliefs so fundamental and insidious are as hard to change as language. Whether we know it or not we are all inheritors of a culture that valued and is still guided by repression.

As long as you aren't in the area of a Religious Cult location.