How NOT to Get Lit Laid- A Parody Thread

[LilKitKat]

One thing unmentioned is the sure way to get me instantly wet: Dont introduce yourself or like any of my content but instantly send me a direct message telling me how Jesus will save me from my porn addiction/masturbating/posting photos of myself that the Devil has induced me into sharing and more.

 

[Apisto42]

Love this thread. It’s golden.

 

[~Elizabeth~]

One thing unmentioned is the sure way to get me instantly wet: Dont introduce yourself or like any of my content but instantly send me a direct message telling me how Jesus will save me from my porn addiction/masturbating/posting photos of myself that the Devil has induced me into sharing and more.

Are you fucking kidding me?!

 

[LilKitKat]

Are you fucking kidding me?!

its happened several times...obviously I got so wet that I immediately got out my hitachi and took care of business

 

[~Elizabeth~]

its happened several times...obviously I got so wet that I immediately got out my hitachi and took care of business

Oh how could you not?!!

 

[Qky75]

One thing unmentioned is the sure way to get me instantly wet: Dont introduce yourself or like any of my content but instantly send me a direct message telling me how Jesus will save me from my porn addiction/masturbating/posting photos of myself that the Devil has induced me into sharing and more.

Wait a dang minute.....you have devil inspired content and have been holding out on me?!?!?

 

[AtramentousRex]

its happened several times...obviously I got so wet that I immediately got out my hitachi and took care of business

This seems perfectly legit to me. It should be added to the list in the How to get Lit Laid thread.

 

[SpicyBean99]

When PMing someone, make sure to include your Call of Duty kill/death ratio. Women can't help but instantly blow someone over a 1.0.

This actually made me LOL.

If EVER a bad day occurs I’m running to this absolute CORKER of a thread

 

[MindYaBitness]

One thing unmentioned is the sure way to get me instantly wet: Dont introduce yourself or like any of my content but instantly send me a direct message telling me how Jesus will save me from my porn addiction/masturbating/posting photos of myself that the Devil has induced me into sharing and more.

Sweet fancy Moses, that may be the only kind of message I haven't gotten. What have I done wrong in my life that I have not received one of these absolute gems! Back me up here @Whiskeyjack , would it not be the absolute best time ever to watch their minds be blown when they realize they're going, um, head to head with a naughty Sunday School teacher.

Please, will someone not try to save my soul in DMs??? I've waited my whole life for this moment!

 

[Qky75]

Sweet fancy Moses, that may be the only kind of message I haven't gotten. What have I done wrong in my life that I have not received one of these absolute gems! Back me up here @Whiskeyjack , would it not be the absolute best time ever to watch their minds be blown when they realize they're going, um, head to head with a naughty Sunday School teacher.

Please, will someone not try to save my soul in DMs??? I've waited my whole life for this moment!

Sorry kid. Can't play a player here.

 

[TomTeacher19]

Sweet fancy Moses, that may be the only kind of message I haven't gotten. What have I done wrong in my life that I have not received one of these absolute gems! Back me up here @Whiskeyjack , would it not be the absolute best time ever to watch their minds be blown when they realize they're going, um, head to head with a naughty Sunday School teacher.

Please, will someone not try to save my soul in DMs??? I've waited my whole life for this moment!

Maybe Jesus likes your pics?

 

[AtramentousRex]

This actually made me LOL.

If EVER a bad day occurs I’m running to this absolute CORKER of a thread

Are you trying to say that my level 40 Wizard isn't cool enough to instantly Moisten (@PrettyLilPussy19 ) your panties?

 

[MindYaBitness]

Are you trying to say that my level 40 Wizard isn't cool enough to instantly Moisten (@PrettyLilPussy19 ) your panties?

I'll see your wizard and raise you a Lego City. Bitches love my Lego City. Also, we love being called bitches. #Wisdom

 

[Hornymwtxn]

Another thing that has helped me is talking about how many 300 games I have bowled.

And that one time I picked up a 7 10 split.

 

[~Elizabeth~]

Oh, men please be sure to ask within seconds of getting a reply you to move off-site to a messaging app so that you can get to know here then just ply her with nasty sexual innuendo.

Because that just makes us swoon with need.

 

[Qky75]

Oh, men please be sure to ask within seconds of getting a reply you to move off-site to a messaging app so that you can get to know here then just ply her with nasty sexual innuendo.

Because that just makes us swoon with need.

Ok ok I'm sorry already geez

 

[~Elizabeth~]

Ok ok I'm sorry already geez

I wasn't talking about you.

 

[Qky75]

I wasn't talking about you.

Another contribution?

Everyone is talking about you. Every status. Every snarky comment. Is. About. You.
Every photo is an invitation to comment and message the poster.

 

[Whiskeyjack]

Sweet fancy Moses, that may be the only kind of message I haven't gotten. What have I done wrong in my life that I have not received one of these absolute gems! Back me up here @Whiskeyjack , would it not be the absolute best time ever to watch their minds be blown when they realize they're going, um, head to head with a naughty Sunday School teacher.

Please, will someone not try to save my soul in DMs??? I've waited my whole life for this moment!

Ask and ye shall receive! I'll Spam your inbox with poorly reasoned fire-and-brimstone piety.

 

[AtramentousRex]

Hi. I'm Nevyn_Black. *the sound of air filling up suddenly empty space creates thunder without lightning*

 

[MindYaBitness]

Ask and ye shall receive! I'll Spam your inbox with poorly reasoned fire-and-brimstone piety.

*swoons*

 

[NoObjection]

This seems perfectly legit to me. It should be added to the list in the How to get Lit Laid thread.

its happened several times...obviously I got so wet that I immediately got out my hitachi and took care of business

HEAL
HEAL
I think an immediate exorcism is required before Kit gets wet and does that dirty deed again. Her hands are unclean. Her soul is corrupted.
We must undress her immediately and baptize her with cum.
Hear ye all men. You must contribute your seed to save this poor soul. /s

 

[AtramentousRex]

HEAL
HEAL
I think an immediate exorcism is required before Kit gets wet and does that dirty deed again. Her hands are unclean. Her soul is corrupted.
We must undress her immediately and baptize her with cum.
Hear ye all men. You must contribute your seed to save this poor soul. /s

Nope. Get the fuck out of my thread. We do not joke like that, it went way too far.

 

[barefootgirl69]

HEAL
HEAL

Nope. Get the fuck out of my thread. We do not joke like that, it went way too far.

Honestly, it fits right in with how NOT to get laid.

 

[~Elizabeth~]

Honestly, it fits right in with how NOT to get laid.

Yeah and in a VERY BAD WAY.