Can the men you are having sex with "find the clitoris"?

Bragging on my husband for a bit, in that not only find it, but he is a master at what to do with and to it! The first night I could not believe what he was doing to me. The men I had been with before him were at best "good" but when it came to the clitoris, they treated it like a strange object that was there for "their pleasure". A couple had no fucking idea what they were doing with it. I was shocked by Jon. He treated it like something to be worshipped, and knew exactly how to do it. I have no idea how many times he brought me to orgasm that night with his tongue.

I can't take credit for teaching him what he knew. That belonged to a woman who was twenty years his senior (She was in her forties and Jon in his early twenties) that he was involved with a couple of years before he met me. And did she ever teach him well!
 
Bragging on my husband for a bit, in that not only find it, but he is a master at what to do with and to it! The first night I could not believe what he was doing to me. The men I had been with before him were at best "good" but when it came to the clitoris, they treated it like a strange object that was there for "their pleasure". A couple had no fucking idea what they were doing with it. I was shocked by Jon. He treated it like something to be worshipped, and knew exactly how to do it. I have no idea how many times he brought me to orgasm that night with his tongue.

I can't take credit for teaching him what he knew. That belonged to a woman who was twenty years his senior (She was in her forties and Jon in his early twenties) that he was involved with a couple of years before he met me. And did she ever teach him well!
Age gap sex is an amazing learning curve if you're the younger of the two, both my wife and I had older lovers before we met
 
I mean if you actually do give a damn about your partner’s experience and satisfaction, it can’t be that hard, right? 🤷‍♂️
That was part of the thread question though, especially to everyone here with a vulva: Do men actually give a damn, by and large?

The responses here so far have mostly been very promising. But on tumblr, for instance, which skews more towards young people and people with vulvas (cis girls and trans boys, one recurring in-joke is to refer to it as a "dickless webbed site"), my impression in discussions and polls is that the experience is more mixed. Maybe one factor is that those demographics are more likely to be exposed to very young and inexperienced men who may also still be in a bit of a teenge asshole phase.
 
That was part of the thread question though, especially to everyone here with a vulva: Do men actually give a damn, by and large?
One would hope so, I guess.
I have always placed an importance on my partners satisfaction, otherwise what is the point?
Oh yeah - forgot to mention. I’m more of a giver than a taker, so maybe that may play a part in such consideration.
 
I’m more of a giver than a taker, so maybe that may play a part in such consideration.
See, I also don't quite understand the principle of a "taker", someone who is only in it for their own stimulation. One can masturbate, for that?

But of course it gets murky - pleasuring your partner is also pleasure and thus a form of "taking". Indeed, when you got two preferred "givers", they each actually only accept stimulation because it makes their partner happy to be able to stimulate... It's a bit of a pretzel. "Giver" and "taker" are somewhat tricky categories in any context where pleasure intertwines.

That said, anecdotally, the stereotypical pure taker à la "Wlam, Bam, Thank you Ma'am" might actually exist, someone who essentially treats their partner like a fleshlight. The archetype might be the teenage boy who is anxious of not getting enough pleasure out of life, so getting off as quickly as possible (and then booking it) is his priority.
 
No disagreement in that @WeShallUnclench
Nice dissemination. Perhaps the ‘giver’ could be switched intermittently with ‘selflessness’ in certain circumstances. Subjective and openended.

Perhaps age plays into this. Being an ‘over 50s club’ member has taught experience, patience and at times when required, confidence. Getting to know and understand your partner could also further contribute.
 
Excellent thread: things that helped me over the years are, whether fingers or tongue or toy, are:

Soft whisper, “right there”, or other word of encouragement at the moment where the right spot, angle, tempo, flick, swirl, starting point, ending point, head-bob, lower lip movement, upper lip movement, glide, slide, tug, etc is found.

Similar but subtle if things aren’t working: Silence. Some may get the hint. There was so much positive feedback earlier, now there’s none. Make adjustments.

Micro-wiggles: if we’re so close to the right everything that the tiniest shift of your body makes everything better, go for it.

Pillow under the butt or lower back? Not to be overlooked as a means of improving the odds. Neck cramps happen, sometimes at the most perfectly wrong moment, and for the most part, no amount of willpower or determination will make them magically disappear.

But there is another element. We could have learned (or, “learned”) what we know from someone with very different preferences, particularly as it pertains to exactly how hard/soft vigorously/gentle fast/slow to do things. Or learned from someone who faked it to make us go away. So sometimes what we think we know vs what we really know can be incorrect, or at least, incorrect now. So even if you have to be gentle with our fragile egos if you need things done differently, find ways to tell us.

Will everyone listen and learn? Probably not. Some will though.
 
I find most guys I’ve been with can find it. A few needed a little help but learned quickly. I think those guys didn’t have much experience. Then there are those times when I just wanna get fucked and don’t care if they can find it.
Do they ask for help?
 
I had a woman who had over 80 partners tell me that I ate pussy better than anyone she ever knew. I guess that would be a yes.
 
I’m a boomer, who knew in those days

Once I learned about it at 30, oh hell yes!!
 
Mostly I’ve just taken over and guided them. I have slept with a couple of virgin boys and they asked for help.
That’s so true, a lot of the younger ones can’t even find the way in, often I have to take them in my fingers and guide them to my entrance. Those who think they know where my clitoris is don’t realise that the small pinkish white bean is only the tip. It’s a bit bigger than that, sort of like a little wishbone. It goes right around my vaginal entrance, down each side of my vulva.

That’s one reason I much prefer older men. They have a lot of experience and a good idea of where things are, as well as what to do to me.

Lucy xx.
 
That’s so true, a lot of the younger ones can’t even find the way in, often I have to take them in my fingers and guide them to my entrance. Those who think they know where my clitoris is don’t realise that the small pinkish white bean is only the tip. It’s a bit bigger than that, sort of like a little wishbone. It goes right around my vaginal entrance, down each side of my vulva.

That’s one reason I much prefer older men. They have a lot of experience and a good idea of where things are, as well as what to do to me.

Lucy xx.
Yup I’ve had guys struggle to get it in too. Not fun when they start poking around and get everything but. I also remember one guy losing his load before he even got inside lol.
 
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