Leahaven

[ChasBozwell30]

This place never ceases to surprise me.

When I started in these forums, I really had no idea what I was doing. I would unwittingly "hijack" threads without realizing that I was hijacking the thread. It upset people, and they let me know. I asked questions and made comments that showed my inexperience and naivete'. I had never heard of "cuckold." I had never heard of "FLR." On so many topics it was common for me to write, "I don't know that that means." Some people thought I was stupid, and they let me know. One guy actually sent me a message to tell me that these forums are for older people, and I was not welcome here. I had been getting that feeling already. So I left the forums. I came back seven months later to delete my account, but I found that I had received a comment in a thread that completely understood my situation. It totally changed my view of these forums, and I stayed. That was like, sixteen or seventeen months ago.

I recently posted that I would no longer attempt to keep this thread current. I received DM's, and every single one was sincere and heartfelt. The courage in some of those messages touched me. Many start with "I am just like Robbie..." and they tell me feelings they've never told anyone. They tell me that my thread is like a safe place or a view into a world that they would love to live, but they wouldn't dare talk about. In one case, someone created an account "just to send you this message." It took a lot of courage for him to come out of the shadows and send me that message.

Ever since I started this thread, I have received messages from guys who just want to get it off their chest and say, "I'm just like Robbie." Some of those messages have begun exchanges where these guys talk about their most closely guarded secrets. Those exchanges reminded me of the times when I was living at home, and I would lie in bed at night thinking about things I knew I shouldn't be thinking about.

To be honest, I thought my thread was just fun and games. I thought people only read it for the titillation. I didn't think anyone would really care much if I stopped posting completely (that was never my intent. I enjoy the fun and games). Oh gosh, was I wrong.

So now what? First of all, I never intended to quit this thread. I don't want that. I was only planning to post less often. So let's try this. I am going to go back to writing as fast as I can and posting it with very little, if any, editing. It will be messy, and I won't like it, but it may be the best solution. Please bear with me. This whole thread has been nothing more than an experiment.

But one last thing...this isn't the Internet I am used to. I am used to trolls and assholes and vicious attacks. All of you have been so supportive and encouraging and understanding and sincerely concerned about our well-being. I can't tell you how much I appreciate it, and I DO listen. I can't thank you enough.

Oh, and one more last thing....never, ever be afraid to comment or send me a DM. Your messages are my lifeline, my guidance into this new world. It might take me days to respond, but I try to always respond. It's not an obligation. I want to.

Take all the time you want, this has been a wonderful thread to read and to see you both explore your relationship. It's given a lot of us a taste of something intimate, and sensual, that we may never find ourselves.

Please don't ever feel like this thread is a chore, or something you are obliged to do, we'll all be here for any sporadic updates. Just live your life and enjoy it x

 

[LeaHaven]

Take all the time you want, this has been a wonderful thread to read and to see you both explore your relationship. It's given a lot of us a taste of something intimate, and sensual, that we may never find ourselves.

Please don't ever feel like this thread is a chore, or something you are obliged to do, we'll all be here for any sporadic updates. Just live your life and enjoy it x

I've never felt this thread was a chore. That comment was me getting frustrated at a world that seemed to be coming at me from all directions. Work has been really busy, my social life has been really busy, I am trying to update a thread, and we have Travis living with us. I really wish I had the time to devote to this thread. This place is my confidant.

But I am sorry to have been away. Things haven’t been going so well.

Robbie’s mom has been after him because we don’t want kids, and she is trying to convince him that he is going to regret it. She asked him why he got married if he’s not going to have kids. She said we are going to have a very lonely household when we’re in our 40’s, and he will "never be a father!" She also called him a “deadbeat” because he’s not working. But he is working. If he can do three project cars a year, he can make at least as much as he made working construction. Robbie didn’t think to tell her that, but it doesn’t matter. If Robbie and I are OK with him staying home, then what anyone else thinks doesn’t matter. But either way, no one wants their mom to think they are a deadbeat.

She reminded Robbie that “the man runs the family, not the woman.” I asked Robbie if he told her about the cock cages and the paddle and the leash. My question created a brief few days of fun in an otherwise stomach-turning situation, because I reminded Robbie with a lock and a whack who runs the family around here, but the fun didn’t last very long.

Last week, Erin and I went to lunch together. She drove, and as we were getting in her car she was checking voicemails on her phone with her phone on speaker. The first message was some jewelry store, but the second message began to play. It was a male voice, and in a very suggestive tone the guy said, “I am REALLY missing you. I was hoping…” Erin couldn’t find the “hang up” button fast enough, but it was too late. Jack’s voice is very distinctive. I was red-faced, and Erin turned to me.

“Sorry,” was all she said. She acted like it was no big deal, while I felt like I had just been hit by a truck. I could hardly breathe. Suddenly I’m finding out that Jack is dating BOTH of us. WTF? Erin and I are best friends! We work in the same office!

I once asked her if anything was going on between them and she said there wasn’t. So I’m thinking, “she lied.” But I believed her, so when things started to heat up between him and me, I never imagined it might be a problem between me and her. But then when she knew I heard the message, she didn’t know I was dating him, too. But she had to know she told me she wasn’t seeing him.

So there I was, sitting in her car wondering, “Can this be any more fucked up?”

It gets worse.

I get home and I tell Robbie, and his mouth drops open. He’s like, “No fucking way.” I said, “Yep! Way!” and he adds, “That’s the LUCKIEST mother-fucker in the world!”

Swear to God, I wanted to punch him right in the face.

You know, it’s comments like that that sometimes makes me wonder if all guys have shit for brains.

And since when did Robbie start saying “mother-fucker”?

I made it through lunch that day with Erin, but she knew something was wrong. I was reeling. I felt betrayed. I felt like she was being betrayed, too. How was I going to tell her?

Robbie says there’s nothing to tell her. It’s “none of [my] business.” I argued that Jack is dating TWO women, and Robbie said, “Leah! You’re dating TWO guys!”

Honestly, I hadn’t thought of that.

I hate when he’s right.

But Erin is my best friend.

This is the sort of thing I would usually talked to Erin about, but I can’t do that.

I was supposed to see Jack on Saturday, but I cancelled.

I don’t know what to do.

 

[Artfan2]

... Suddenly I’m finding out that Jack is dating BOTH of us. WTF? Erin and I are best friends! We work in the same office!

I once asked her if anything was going on between them and she said there wasn’t. So I’m thinking, “she lied.” But I believed her, so when things started to heat up between him and me, I never imagined it might be a problem between me and her. But then when she knew I heard the message, she didn’t know I was dating him, too. But she had to know she told me she wasn’t seeing him.


... I made it through lunch that day with Erin, but she knew something was wrong. I was reeling. I felt betrayed. I felt like she was being betrayed, too. How was I going to tell her?

Robbie says there’s nothing to tell her. It’s “none of [my] business.” I argued that Jack is dating TWO women, and Robbie said, “Leah! You’re dating TWO guys!”

Honestly, I hadn’t thought of that.

I hate when he’s right.

But Erin is my best friend.

This is the sort of thing I would usually talked to Erin about, but I can’t do that.

I was supposed to see Jack on Saturday, but I cancelled.

I don’t know what to do.

Lack of honesty in a close friendship is a very corrosive thing. If things can't be repaired between you and Erin, you'll never be as close as you were in the past.

On the other hand, you can't expect for everyone in your life to meet the same high standards that you have for your closest friends. If you did, you'd end up with a very small group of people who you were willing to interact with. In particular, if you and Erin want to enjoy sexual activities with a variety of men, you both need to understand that at least some of them may be having sex with other women. In some cases, such as with Jack and Erin, it may be very upsetting for you when these relationships exist, but in other cases the relationships may be tolerable or even interesting to learn about.

 

[liqueur]

I made it through lunch that day with Erin, but she knew something was wrong. I was reeling. I felt betrayed. I felt like she was being betrayed, too. How was I going to tell her?

I'm sorry you're having a rough time. It sounds like— starting back with the mother-in-law— the emotions have been absolutely flaying you. I don't blame you if you feel overwhelmed.

But honestly, setting the emotional aspect aside for just a minute— unless you and Jack have made an explicit promise of exclusivity— the only thing I see wrong is that Erin lied to you. If she doesn't know you're dating Jack too, she may have a relatively innocent reason for that. I think you need to clear the air with her.

But Robbie? He was crass and insensitive.

 

[Domwoolf]

But Robbie? He was crass and insensitive.

No, he wasn't. He is just seeing the tale from Jacks side. Jack is dateing two women, good for him, so is Leehaven. The fact they are besties makes no difference. And Erin is being no more cagey than Leehaven who didn't tell Erin she's dateing Jack or Travis. Tangled web, my dear.

 

[CaptCharles]

From the thread, "Pussy worship."

Pussy worship when shes needing more and more.. so incredibly hot

 

[CaptCharles]

From the thread, "Boys why do you crave submission."

Its submission of that beautiful whimper, the moans, the denial and prompting more.. and teasing to pace your pleasure that drives you crazy.

 

[LeaHaven]

Lack of honesty in a close friendship is a very corrosive thing. If things can't be repaired between you and Erin, you'll never be as close as you were in the past.

On the other hand, you can't expect for everyone in your life to meet the same high standards that you have for your closest friends. If you did, you'd end up with a very small group of people who you were willing to interact with. In particular, if you and Erin want to enjoy sexual activities with a variety of men, you both need to understand that at least some of them may be having sex with other women. In some cases, such as with Jack and Erin, it may be very upsetting for you when these relationships exist, but in other cases the relationships may be tolerable or even interesting to learn about.

I guess there are things i have to get used to in this new world, but it's not easy. Robbie and I have talked about this a lot, and I told him that I guess I was feeling "special," but when I found out there was someone else, I didn't feel special anymore. That was hard to accept, but Robbie says I am special. He says if I wasn't, Jack wouldn't want to continue to see me. But Robbie is my husband, so I know he is going to try to protect my feelings. Also, he kinda has a vested interest in me continuing to see Jack. I just need time to process it all

 

[LeaHaven]

I'm sorry you're having a rough time. It sounds like— starting back with the mother-in-law— the emotions have been absolutely flaying you. I don't blame you if you feel overwhelmed.

But honestly, setting the emotional aspect aside for just a minute— unless you and Jack have made an explicit promise of exclusivity— the only thing I see wrong is that Erin lied to you. If she doesn't know you're dating Jack too, she may have a relatively innocent reason for that. I think you need to clear the air with her.

But Robbie? He was crass and insensitive.

My MOL and my dad should have married each other. They are two peas in a pod. They spend their whole lives expecting everyone to be just like they are, and they get angry when they see people who are different. So they are always angry.

I just began to chuckle, because I was remembering that if my dad leaves the house, he always comes home angry. That is literally true! "Why would any self-respecting woman want to have blue hair? What is wrong with people?" "What's the attraction to tattoos? Why, in God's name, do people want to deface themselves?" It's funny to think about, but it's not funny. My poor dad is always angry. My MOL is always angry. That's sad.

I know I should not expect an exclusive relationship. I mean, at least I know now.

By the way, in a DM someone reminded me that I am dating three guys. I guess, technically, that is true, but things with Travis have decreased considerably. That's a whole other story.

 

[LeaHaven]

Tangled web, my dear.

This is so true

 

[LeaHaven]

Its submission of that beautiful whimper, the moans, the denial and prompting more.. and teasing to pace your pleasure that drives you crazy.

I like the total control. It never gets old.

 

[Toro1886]

I guess there are things i have to get used to in this new world, but it's not easy. Robbie and I have talked about this a lot, and I told him that I guess I was feeling "special," but when I found out there was someone else, I didn't feel special anymore. That was hard to accept, but Robbie says I am special. He says if I wasn't, Jack wouldn't want to continue to see me. But Robbie is my husband, so I know he is going to try to protect my feelings. Also, he kinda has a vested interest in me continuing to see Jack. I just need time to process it all

If you don't feel so special with Jack....then break it off...you now know that you can find others. I'm not sure i'd be hard on Erin...she is hiding the fact that she is with Jack from you the same you were to her. Whether she would also feel less special if she knew about the two of you... i dunno!

 

[liqueur]

I was remembering that if my dad leaves the house, he always comes home angry. That is literally true! "Why would any self-respecting woman want to have blue hair? What is wrong with people?" "What's the attraction to tattoos? Why, in God's name, do people want to deface themselves?" It's funny to think about, but it's not funny. My poor dad is always angry. My MOL is always angry. That's sad.

And it's not even about conservatism. My parents were pretty liberal, and yet they were the same way. They prided themselves in their open-mindedness, and yet they were some of the most judgemental people I've ever known. They did lighten up a bit towards the end, for whatever it's worth.

 

[LeaHaven]

Erin came to see me after work yesterday. She closed my office door, took a seat in one of the chairs across from my desk, and asked me how Robbie is doing. She was making small talk, but I knew something was coming. Outside it was pouring rain, and my office had that “dark” feel. I was hoping it wasn’t an omen. Eventually she got to the point.

“Leah,” she said, “when you asked me if I was seeing Jack, I wasn’t. I didn’t start seeing him until he and [his wife] separated.”

“OK,” I said, trying to act like nothing’s wrong.

Erin stared at me for a minute, expressionless, which is always kind of intimidating, because she is much better at this kind of stuff than I am.

“Why did you ask?” she said.

“Oh God,” I thought. “Here it comes. The Erin interrogation.”

“Just curious.”

She gave me that stare again to let me know she didn’t believe me. I felt my face turn a hundred shades of red. Erin nodded in a kind of patronizing way and looked down at the floor. My heart was beating like crazy! Then she looked up and softened her tone.

“Leah,” she said in her compassionate way, “I don’t want this to come between us.”

I didn’t know what to say. Am I that obvious? Does she know more than I think she knows? Do I play dumb? Do I act like nothing’s wrong? I’m just no good at this stuff.

And then it occurred to me. I discovered that she was seeing Jack a week ago, and I haven’t asked her a single thing about it. How could I be so, so stupid? That told her everything! I’m so stupid!

My whole body blushed, and I thought I might start to cry. Erin was looking at me, waiting for me to say something, and I had no idea what to say. I was realizing that I’m just a dumb, stupid girl who got herself into a world that is way out of her stupid, inexperienced league.

“It won’t come between us,” I said.

I heard my voice shake. My nerves and my self-esteem were frazzled. Does everybody know? I was trying to hold it together, but I could feel it coming, and that only made it worse. Then a tear rolled down my cheek. Erin got up quickly and started toward me, and I started to cry.

We had a very long, heart-to-heart talk.

I’ll write more later. I have to finish getting ready for work.

 

[Artfan2]

It's good to hear that both you and Erin greatly value your friendship and don't want the fact that you've both been seeing Jack to come between you.

 

[twister947]

Best keep the drama out of your workplace...it's your "daily bread".

 

[liqueur]

We had a very long, heart-to-heart talk.

Excellent! I'm glad for you.

 

[LeaHaven]

Best keep the drama out of your workplace...it's your "daily bread".

I hear you, Twister, but I also wonder. Is that possible? To hear my friends and family talk, and knowing my own experiences, is there a workplace without drama? It had to be almost 3 years ago that Jack first invited me to one of his meet-ups. I never could have imagined it could come to all this.

 

[liqueur]

is there a workplace without drama?

Definitely not in my long experience.

 

[Artfan2]

I hear you, Twister, but I also wonder. Is that possible? To hear my friends and family talk, and knowing my own experiences, is there a workplace without drama? It had to be almost 3 years ago that Jack first invited me to one of his meet-ups. I never could have imagined it could come to all this.

I think you're right. There's a lot going on between people in the workplace. Some of it is well known to other coworkers and some of it stays hidden.

 

[cascadiabound]

Erin came to see me after work yesterday. She closed my office door, took a seat in one of the chairs across from my desk, and asked me how Robbie is doing. She was making small talk, but I knew something was coming. Outside it was pouring rain, and my office had that “dark” feel. I was hoping it wasn’t an omen. Eventually she got to the point.

“Leah,” she said, “when you asked me if I was seeing Jack, I wasn’t. I didn’t start seeing him until he and [his wife] separated.”

“OK,” I said, trying to act like nothing’s wrong.

Erin stared at me for a minute, expressionless, which is always kind of intimidating, because she is much better at this kind of stuff than I am.

“Why did you ask?” she said.

“Oh God,” I thought. “Here it comes. The Erin interrogation.”

“Just curious.”

She gave me that stare again to let me know she didn’t believe me. I felt my face turn a hundred shades of red. Erin nodded in a kind of patronizing way and looked down at the floor. My heart was beating like crazy! Then she looked up and softened her tone.

“Leah,” she said in her compassionate way, “I don’t want this to come between us.”

I didn’t know what to say. Am I that obvious? Does she know more than I think she knows? Do I play dumb? Do I act like nothing’s wrong? I’m just no good at this stuff.

And then it occurred to me. I discovered that she was seeing Jack a week ago, and I haven’t asked her a single thing about it. How could I be so, so stupid? That told her everything! I’m so stupid!

My whole body blushed, and I thought I might start to cry. Erin was looking at me, waiting for me to say something, and I had no idea what to say. I was realizing that I’m just a dumb, stupid girl who got herself into a world that is way out of her stupid, inexperienced league.

“It won’t come between us,” I said.

I heard my voice shake. My nerves and my self-esteem were frazzled. Does everybody know? I was trying to hold it together, but I could feel it coming, and that only made it worse. Then a tear rolled down my cheek. Erin got up quickly and started toward me, and I started to cry.

We had a very long, heart-to-heart talk.

I’ll write more later. I have to finish getting ready for work.

I suspected that when Erin told you she wasn't seeing Jack it was likely true at the time.
I'm glad you've hashed it out.

Maybe both of you should go out with him?
But as always - you do you.

 

[LeaHaven]

When I had my first date with Jack, I told Robbie that I wanted him to help me get ready. So while I was in the shower, he came into the bathroom and waited, leaning up against the vanity in front of his sink, scrolling through his phone. He was wearing only his underwear like I told him to, so he wouldn't get coconut oil stains on his clothes. When he came into the bathroom, I was glad to see my boy doing as he was told, but with him in his boxer briefs, which on this day were red with black seams, stretchy and tight, he looked like a boy.

I turned off the shower and began to towel off, and Robbie set his phone down on the vanity. When I stepped out of the shower, my eye immediately caught sight of the bulge in Robbie's underwear from his cage. I'm not used to seeing a bulge that big with Robbie. What was even more unusual was that the bars and especially the lock were unmistakable underneath the tight, stretchy fabric. It looked cruel and severe, and the word "torture device" passed through my mind.

I loved it. I stared at it to relish my authority. It feels so warm inside to feel that feeling. Robbie looked away, embarrassed.

I had him rub coconut oil all over my naked body, starting with my back. We were both quiet, but insanely aroused. Here was my husband getting me ready for another guy. God! How that thought filled the room! As he was finishing my front, paying particular attention to my breasts, I told him to get a towel. I pulled him out to our bedroom and had him lay the towel down on the upholstered bench at the foot of our bed. I just bought the bench a couple months ago with sex in mind. I sat down and had Robbie stand in front of me. I pulled his underwear down to expose his locked up cock. He was so aroused, even his little penis was bulging out between the bars, but then, I bought the smallest cage they make in that style. It had to be agonizing.

I loved it. I lifted his caged erection and looked up at him.

"Tonight is for him, baby. You know that," I said. "You'll have to wait."

Robbie closed his eyes and blew out air through pursed lips like he does when he is experiencing caged torment. I let go of his cage, leaned back against the bed, and opened my legs.

"Give me some goodness before I go," I said. "Just a little bit. Just to get me ready."

I was already soaking wet and swollen. I couldn't have been more ready. Robbie knelt down between my legs and saw how ready I was, and he looked up at me. I gave him a kind smile. All that arousal between my thighs was all for another guy. I curled my finger at him, telling him to get to work, and he did as he was told. His good mouth was so tender and loving.

But I was so aroused that it only took a minute before I was about to cum. I pushed Robbie's head away.

"Stop!" I said, panting. "I don't want to cum with you. I want to cum with him." I sat up and stroked Robbie's face. "You did good, baby," I said with a smile. "You wait up for me tonight. OK?"

Robbie nodded. "OK."

 

[Toro1886]

When I had my first date with Jack, I told Robbie that I wanted him to help me get ready. So while I was in the shower, he came into the bathroom and waited, leaning up against the vanity in front of his sink, scrolling through his phone. He was wearing only his underwear like I told him to, so he wouldn't get coconut oil stains on his clothes. When he came into the bathroom, I was glad to see my boy doing as he was told, but with him in his boxer briefs, which on this day were red with black seams, stretchy and tight, he looked like a boy.

I turned off the shower and began to towel off, and Robbie set his phone down on the vanity. When I stepped out of the shower, my eye immediately caught sight of the bulge in Robbie's underwear from his cage. I'm not used to seeing a bulge that big with Robbie. What was even more unusual was that the bars and especially the lock were unmistakable underneath the tight, stretchy fabric. It looked cruel and severe, and the word "torture device" passed through my mind.

I loved it. I stared at it to relish my authority. It feels so warm inside to feel that feeling. Robbie looked away, embarrassed.

I had him rub coconut oil all over my naked body, starting with my back. We were both quiet, but insanely aroused. Here was my husband getting me ready for another guy. God! How that thought filled the room! As he was finishing my front, paying particular attention to my breasts, I told him to get a towel. I pulled him out to our bedroom and had him lay the towel down on the upholstered bench at the foot of our bed. I just bought the bench a couple months ago with sex in mind. I sat down and had Robbie stand in front of me. I pulled his underwear down to expose his locked up cock. He was so aroused, even his little penis was bulging out between the bars, but then, I bought the smallest cage they make in that style. It had to be agonizing.

I loved it. I lifted his caged erection and looked up at him.

"Tonight is for him, baby. You know that," I said. "You'll have to wait."

Robbie closed his eyes and blew out air through pursed lips like he does when he is experiencing caged torment. I let go of his cage, leaned back against the bed, and opened my legs.

"Give me some goodness before I go," I said. "Just a little bit. Just to get me ready."

I was already soaking wet and swollen. I couldn't have been more ready. Robbie knelt down between my legs and saw how ready I was, and he looked up at me. I gave him a kind smile. All that arousal between my thighs was all for another guy. I curled my finger at him, telling him to get to work, and he did as he was told. His good mouth was so tender and loving.

But I was so aroused that it only took a minute before I was about to cum. I pushed Robbie's head away.

"Stop!" I said, panting. "I don't want to cum with you. I want to cum with him." I sat up and stroked Robbie's face. "You did good, baby," I said with a smile. "You wait up for me tonight. OK?"

Robbie nodded. "OK."

sizzling!!

 

[9to5]

Robbie is such a lucky guy to have you. need to cage myself like him.

 

[policywank]

Erin did nothing wrong.

Everyone is entitled to their privacy. Whether she was seeing Jack at the time or not is beside the point. Even if she was, she was not obliged to share that information with you anymore than you are obliged to tell your parents that Robbie's cock is caged and you date other men. And when someone asks you a question seeking private information that they are not entitled to have they sometimes put you in a position where your only choice is to lie or to reveal that information because a neutral response is effectively an admission.

For instance, if Erin had asked "are you fucking Jack" and you say "none of your business" or don't respond at all she will naturally infer that you are fucking him. Because if you weren't you would naturally have denied it because of the potential negative implications (cheating wife, workplace trysts, etc.). What would you have thought if when you asked her she had said "none of your business" or evaded the question? Would you not have inferred something from that response? How would you respond if your parents asked you if you were having sex with other men? By asking the question you put her in a position where she was obliged to either reveal information that you had no right to know or lie. Even if she had been lying at that time (which I understand she wasn't) you can't realistically separate that from the fact that she did so in the context of you asking a question, the answer to which was none of your business.

You have already established that you are wary of other people knowing about your sexual activities. And rightly so. No matter what you or any of us think, you live in the real world where negative judgment can have consequences. So, if people who have no right to know about your sexual activity start asking you questions to which a neutral answer would be tantamount to an admission, your only choice is to lie or effectively allow them to violate your privacy. When someone is prying into your personal life inadvertently or otherwise they have no grounds to criticize you for lying to preserve your privacy.