Acceptable Male Desire

[Cultivateddesires]

I have been ruminating on the unfair split between male and female desire.

Male perversion and or arousal is seen as unwelcome. The dirty anorak brigade.

Whereas females get away with it.

In a story, the site of a lady naked in a window pleasuring herself is likely to lead to an encounter.

The sight of a man doing the same … somebody calls the police.

I am curious about this dichotomy and how one might weave an acceptable version of that male desire into a story.

 

[crookedletter]

No comment on "fairness" as regards gender dynamics.

But one of the fantastical tools you can wield as a writer is to manage every character's response to whatever action you're describing. People in reality might call the police if they feel scared or threatened. Nobody calls the police if they feel safe, if they're intrigued by what's going on, even aroused by it.

In reality people might find themselves exposed "by accident" when it might seem clear to an onlooker that there's nothing accidental about it. In fiction you can establish those motivations and circumstances. You can make clear good intentions on both sides, and just dictate with the power of your pen that everyone is enjoying themselves.

 

[Rob_Royale]

If the man has a reasonable assumption of privacy its all good. Stroking one out in your own backyard on the pool deck? The neighbor lady watches from her attic window? Sounds good to me.

 

[alohadave]

In a story, the site of a lady naked in a window pleasuring herself is likely to lead to an encounter.

The sight of a man doing the same … somebody calls the police.

Only if you want your stories to be like reality.

Do you want men to be able to be naked in public in your stories? Then write it that way.

Your stories do not need to be true to life, they need to be true to the story.

 

[Djmac1031]

Look, we all know if a woman flashes her tits to a group of random guys, odds are the guys are gonna hoot and holler and enjoy the show.

But if a man whips out his dick in a crowd of women he's probably getting arrested.

Fair? Unfair? Gender biased? We could debate the why of it til the sun burns out.

But this is erotica. And in our stories all genders can enjoy a good flash.

Or not. Depending on the story you wanna tell.

 

[Jorunn]

Perhaps I am too sheltered to see males or females openly pleasuring themselves in windows. Male ‘arousal’ today can best be expressed by actually approaching a woman, looking her in the eye, and engaging in conversation. A complement or too helps.

In erotic literature, a voyeur view of a woman (or even a man) pleasuring herself is amazing, but if a woman does this in public within clear view of others, I would feel the same need to turn away.

 

[AlinaX]

A complement or too helps.

I don’t usually comment on spelling, but that’s almost funny.

 

[Five_Inch_Heels]

You see it here on Lit. Boob and Butt pics? Yay!

Dick Pics? Eeewww...

 

[Jorunn]

I don’t usually comment on spelling, but that’s almost funny.

I’m ESL. Forgive me.

 

[AlinaX]

I’m ESL. Forgive me.

Of course. Not laughing at you; laughing at English.

 

[EmilyMiller]

I have been ruminating on the unfair split between male and female desire.

Male perversion and or arousal is seen as unwelcome. The dirty anorak brigade.

Whereas females get away with it.

In a story, the site of a lady naked in a window pleasuring herself is likely to lead to an encounter.

The sight of a man doing the same … somebody calls the police.

I am curious about this dichotomy and how one might weave an acceptable version of that male desire into a story.

Poor men. The whole world is set up for women’s benefit, and the men are only ancillary.

Oh… wait? Did I get that the wrong way round.

 

[AlinaX]

I’m having fun atm writing a world where women are very much in charge.

 

[Kumquatqueen]

Look, we all know if a woman flashes her tits to a group of random guys, odds are the guys are gonna hoot and holler and enjoy the show.

But if a man whips out his dick in a crowd of women he's probably getting arrested.

Fair? Unfair? Gender biased? We could debate the why of it til the sun burns out.

But this is erotica. And in our stories all genders can enjoy a good flash.

Or not. Depending on the story you wanna tell.

It's all situational. How relaxed and confident are the onlookers that the transgressor isn't a danger to them?

Tipsy man in a crowd of posh race-goers is persuaded to proof he's got a longer cock than his mate - you'll get the same whoops and cheers from the twenty women around him.

Mentally ill man starts jerking off on a crowded Tube train - gets jumped on and arrested.

Or acceptable desire - man happens to see woman naked in the window across the street. They make eye contact. She's shocked - but then smiles at him and puts on a show. She's consenting to it. As opposed to a man putting cameras in to film a woman without consent.

Sure, real life has too many stories of men behaving in unwelcome ways, but there's plenty of ways you could tell a story of a man's desire where the man doesn't act as a creep.

 

[Djmac1031]

Sure, real life has too many stories of men behaving in unwelcome ways, but there's plenty of ways you could tell a story of a man's desire where the man doesn't act as a creep.

fully agreed, and I have written quite a few of those types of stories

 

[lovecraft68]

Women are sexy and sensual, men are gross.
Part of that double standard is created by men. They lose their minds if a woman does anything, while women generally need a little more to arouse them.

My wife made a comment once when we were at a wedding while watching people dancing. The remark was how people will make fun of a guy is he is an akward dancer, but if a woman is attractive she could be up there looking like she's having a seizure and be the worst dancer out there, but guys will stare at her like she's all that.

I hadn't noticed that effect before, but now see it anytime were some place with a dance floor.

 

[Statius]

Poor men. The whole world is set up for women’s benefit, and the men are only ancillary.

Oh… wait? Did I get that the wrong way round.

I know. We men have it rough. No control over anything. Seriously though even in my stories where I attempt to give my women characters control, make their desire, their wants, the focus, I feel like every sex scene is written for the male gaze. It's frustrating.

 

[EmilyMiller]

I know. We men have it rough. No control over anything. Seriously though even in my stories where I attempt to give my women characters control, make their desire, their wants, the focus, I feel like every sex scene is written for the male gaze. It's frustrating.

It’s easy to superficially write from the perspective of another gender. Harder to get inside the head of someone else.

 

[Statius]

It’s easy to superficially write from the perspective of another gender. Harder to get inside the head of someone else.

As a top writer on Lit, would you read a story of mine and tell me where I go wrong? Do you have time for that?

 

[dirk2024]

I’m having fun atm writing a world where women are very much in charge.

Gasp! Is...is that allowed?

 

[EmilyMiller]

As a top writer on Lit, would you read a story of mine and tell me where I go wrong? Do you have time for that?

At the risk of sounding pretentious. Do you mind waiting in line? If not, take a ticket and PM me.

 

[Statius]

I'm not trying to push, and I can definitely wait. I am being sincere in that a writer of your caliber and reputation reviewing a published story of mine would be a compliment and dare I say something I don't believe in? A blessing.

 

[AlinaX]

See, you did that wrong. You should have asked for a single strand of her hair, and perhaps then she would have gifted you with a review.

 

[WCSGarland]

See, you did that wrong. You should have asked for a single strand of her hair, and perhaps then she would have gifted you with a review.

Or dipped her braids in an ink well?

 

[AlinaX]

I admire the euphemism.

 

[EmilyMiller]

I'm not trying to push, and I can definitely wait. I am being sincere in that a writer of your caliber and reputation reviewing a published story of mine would be a compliment and dare I say something I don't believe in? A blessing.

So PM me