Writers Groups / Meetups IRL

[BellaBestia]

Does anyone still meet up in real life /in person with a writers group or is it all virtual these days? If you ever did in the past in the good old pre covid days, what would you say are the pros and cons?

I just finished re-reading Anne Lamott’s book Bird by Bird and I’m inspired to try to create some discipline and accountability for my writing as well as community and collaboration. I’m trying to decide whether to start a local erotic writers group, or join an established “vanilla” writing group that meets at a coffee shop or library, or just go online. My preference would be in person once a month but I think most writers meet online now. Maybe a hybrid? I dunno….

Thoughts?

Thanks!

 

[AllenWoody]

I checked out one vanilla group in my area that does meet hybrid. I prefer in-person and that is supported, but also several people were remote. The chemistry for that group wasn’t for me, though. Even though I’d rather meet in person, I’d probably select the group that was the right fit, even if it was remote.

 

[Erozetta]

Pros are minimal, cons are many in my experience.

Most look down on erotica, including other erotica groups if you don't write for paid publishing. There tends to be a snobby undertone to both vanilla and erotica groups. Weirdly competitive rather than actually trying to help each other improve.

I'm not a fan. But if you create one, be mindful of that stuff when establishing it. It can be difficult to curtail once it gets started.

In my experience, online groups tend to be more chill than in person ones.

 

[dirk2024]

Or, a Literotica Writers Group. It would have to be held via Zoom, so you would lose that personal connection. But everyone there would be into erotica.

 

[AwkwardMD]

Community is important. If you think you can find a vanilla writers group where you can share some of the less spicy scenes and have some support (or moderate criticism), and you can maintain some boundaries?

That could be huge. Writing in a vacuum is hard. Humans are not solitary creatures. Your desire for connections shouldn't be muted.

Whatever that support looks like, even if its not what you thought you needed, cherish it. Find your tribe.

EDIT: be wary about making yourself vulnerable, and protect yourself. It can be done.

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

Or, a Literotica Writers Group. It would have to be held via Zoom, so you would lose that personal connection. But everyone there would be into erotica.

From my experience, most writers on Lit are very protective of their 'secret Identity.' I don't think you'd get much participation. I know it would be out of my comfort zone, and would do more damage than good.

 

[JGittes]

@Erozetta described my experiences both live and online, pre, during, and post COVID.

There are online 'masterclasses' for specific issues like 'deep POV' and editing that can be worthwhile. Unfortunately, the better they are, the more expensive they tend to be. And don't mention you write erotica for free, which is published online. Also, no community.

 

[Rob_Royale]

What we have here in the AH is enough community for me. Some questions we see here are awkward enough, completely anonymous. I can't imagine doing so face to face even via Zoom.

"So, how does everyone describe gagging on a cock? Are you in the 'huk, huk' crowd or do you prefer just describing the sound as gutteral?"

Pass.

 

[Erozetta]

@Erozetta described my experiences both live and online, pre, during, and post COVID.

There are online 'masterclasses' for specific issues like 'deep POV' and editing that can be worthwhile. Unfortunately, the better they are, the more expensive they tend to be. And don't mention you write erotica for free, which is published online. Also, no community.

There's a strong case for "If you can't find your space, make your space." Which is what I did, and I'm quite happy with it.

 

[MrPixel]

I have read on AH that there was in fact an in-person get together of LitE authors... something like 15 years ago. Our late TxRad... of course... was at least a participant if not an instigator. I think there is at least one active AH'er who was part of that meet, but memory draws a blank on whom.

 

[KittyOfSteele]

There's only two writers in my area, and I'm one of them. I think I'm the only writer in the larger area of my country who even writes in English. The rest of the writers I know either left the country, or are far away from where I live. I'll have better luck finding a bassist and a drummer for a garage rock band rather than another writer. Besides, the majority of the writers here are the ones who want to sell caviar instead of salted peanuts, like Spillane would describe. They are too high on the works from the Latin American Boom authors and aspire to be them, thus tend to look down upon even Terry Pratchett.

Thankfully my mentor wasn't one of them. In fact, a huge chunk of his first poetry book has a lot of erotic poetry. As soon as he read the first two pages of my first novel he knew I was more The Gang Magazine or Avon Fantasy material rather than laboratory book material. Salted peanuts. And I prefer it to keep it that way.

 

[OddLove]

Writing is so personal to me that I'm not sure what a meetup would even look like. I write my fantasies, so would a meetup just be people talking about all the fantasies they have and write about? That's genuinely confusing to me. Perhaps I lack the social skills or experience to understand what a meetup would look like. Cause unless it's just a bunch of erotica writings getting together to get freak, then I have no idea.

 

[Five_Inch_Heels]

There tends to be a snobby undertone to both vanilla and erotica groups. Weirdly competitive rather than actually trying to help each other improve.

Sorta like the AH.

 

[Erozetta]

Sorta like the AH.

No one in the AH looks down on free erotica as far as I know. This wasn't about personality clashes, but actual disdain for daring to write anything but market worthy stuff. All they talked about was trad publishing and how self publishing was ruining their desire to call themselves writers.

It was gross.

And I read their work, most of it was riddled with mistakes but hit "hit" market elements (knock offs of popular books) and were published through vanity presses that they didn't realize were vanity presses.

People here can be very pushy about their opinion, but very few are actually snobby about it. There are some here who look down on specific content as being less than what they write for whatever reason, but they are few and far between the average here.

I would, however, say the group as a whole can be extremely intimidating to anyone who isn't an extrovert as the dynamic is already heavily established among the regulars. There is an element of snobbery, but it's not rampant in my experience.

 

[Five_Inch_Heels]

There is an element of snobbery, but it's not rampant in my experience.

Really?

 

[TheNovelist2000]

completely anonymous

Masks? (As long as people don't kink shame each other.)

 

[Erozetta]

Really?

Yeah. I'm guessing you write largely in I/T? Because the snobby element looks down on that category and writers in that category in particular. I suspect bitterness at how popular the category is and how it doesn't align with their personal morals/idea of morality.

 

[Five_Inch_Heels]

Because the snobby element looks down on ...

.... those that don't stroke each other in the AssHole Circlejerk of MeMeMe and Thee. You step on the toes of one of them and they all scream in unison and crap on your schlock.

They're easy to identify as they all have their hands slapping each other's backs in most threads. They even make threads revering each other or themselves.

 

[Erozetta]

.... those that don't stroke each other in the AssHole Circlejerk of MeMeMe and Thee. You step on the toes of one of them and they all scream in unison and crap on your schlock.

They're easy to identify as they all have their hands slapping each other's backs in most threads. They even make threads revering each other or themselves.

Ah, yeah, I try to avoid such threads.

 

[Rob_Royale]

When I started here I was surprised that there was no Lit chatroom associated with the AH. When I suggested it, there seemed little interest.

 

[Five_Inch_Heels]

The fun ones start threads as traps to lure the MeMes in all while doing their own MeMes, then point, laugh and brag about how many MeMes they caught.

 

[BobbyBrandt]

Since childhood, I have lived by the adage, "If it will embarrass you, don't do it."

But, that's just me.

This has allowed me to share what I write far more openly than merely posting on a website. I had one colleague with the volunteer organization that I am part of recently brag to another colleague about one of my books that she had read. With a broad smile and great enthusiasm, she said, "He writes smut, and it's GOOD!"

 

[crookedletter]

I have a couple writers' groups I meet with, and I'm active in general in the local writing community.

I can't really overstate the benefits. AH provides a version of it which allows me to indulge in my erotica interests. Sometimes it's about feedback on work; more often it's just about being around writers, talking about writing, talking about books. It keeps me feeling like a writer even when the writing isn't going well. It keeps me wanting to write even when it can feel like a chore. Writing can be an isolating experience -- I think it's of value to share that experience with others.

Cons-wise, I guess as others have said you might find people you don't ultimately connect with or who aren't supportive about your writing. But that hasn't been my experience. I've been overall impressed at how welcoming writers in general are -- including here, by and large.

I would suggest checking some of the programming of your local library. Around here at least there are often writing groups that meet that way. And if there aren't, maybe you can start one that way. I would be surprised if there aren't others in your area looking for something similar.

 

[Saturn0815]

Does anyone still meet up in real life /in person with a writers group or is it all virtual these days? If you ever did in the past in the good old pre covid days, what would you say are the pros and cons?

I just finished re-reading Anne Lamott’s book Bird by Bird and I’m inspired to try to create some discipline and accountability for my writing as well as community and collaboration. I’m trying to decide whether to start a local erotic writers group, or join an established “vanilla” writing group that meets at a coffee shop or library, or just go online. My preference would be in person once a month but I think most writers meet online now. Maybe a hybrid? I dunno….

Thoughts?

Thanks!

Me thinks you should start one. People need to go out into the world!

 

[Tio_Narratore]

I just missed the last Litogether, but was involved in a few years of Secret Santa. Things were fairly friendly, and a lot of the vitriol was actually produced as humor. I've met with a number of LItsters in real life, but, happy to say, none of them were of the big ego groups. I'd consider a group in my area, but I'd want it clearly to be non-competitive and not exclusively about writing.

By the way, I once was invited to make a presentation on forensics to a Romance Writers club. I was surprised at the number of members who wanted to see me personally to have me "help" them write forensics into their novels. And for that they would, of course, thank me in their preface. I didn't accept; I write for myself or for pay.