A Slave and Master

[Nightscream89]

So another probably a bit complicated idea. But I am actually already working on this story, but I'm not happy with some parts of it.

Basically slavery has returned, be it in a different form since there are now rules in place.
First up is that people can only become a slave 'voluntarily' or at least in theory that is the case.
Basically becoming a slave always goes through the goverment and the proces is:
- Sign the slavery contract, which names a benefactor.
- Get trained as a slave by a goverment institute.
- Get auctioned off as a slave, the money will go to the benefactor named in the contract, minus some fees.

Now in theory every slave becomes one voluntarily, mostly to get the money to their family so they can have a better life. However even though you can't be forced into slavery, there are some loan sharks and even banks that accept a slave contract as collateral, meaning when the person can't pay back the loan they will be sold into slavery. These people obviously think they can pay back the loan, but when it turns out they can't they become slaves. So they sort of do it to themselves but kinda grey area on the voluntary stuff.
And there are even cases of people beiing tricked into signing the slave contract. (Like one of the MC's)

Being a slave doesn't mean you have no protection at all, more like you get the rights of basically a pet. Meaning that masters are also responsible for their slave(s). First they need a permit to own a slave, this includes how many they are allowed to have, (standard is one, need additional permits for more slaves and a master is evaluated before each one is given.). They need to bring the slave for health check-ups and make sure they are properly fed and healthy. Like the owner of a dog can't mistreat or neglect their dog, same goes for a master with their slave.
Of course there are some differences:
- You can get sexual with a slave. (I mean wouldn't be much of an erotic story without that lol.)
- You can't euthanize a slave. (I mean obviously.)

Slaves cannot be physically abused so if a slave disobeys, masters do have the option to send them to the goverment institute for retraining, which is a punishment in and of itself.

So that's the setting of this world.

The story has 2 protagonists and is actually a love story.
Lexi is an 18 year old girl who lives with her parents and twin sister. The story starts on her 18th birthday. Her father is a (wannabe) entrepeneur but isn't doing too well. So he tricks her into signing the slave contract, he believes that with that money he will get his business up and running, so he can take care of her twin sister and mother and even buy her back.

The way I have this in the story now is he gives her sister a (old and cheap) car for their 18th birthday he has the car papers there and her sister signs them, then says he bought Lexi one as well, but as she eagerly signs the papers for the second car, it's actually the slave contract she is signing.
I am not too happy about this, because it seems too easy and it just feels like signing a slave contract should be more complicated than this. Maybe I should add in that her father bribed a notary or something?

Well that evening she is taken away screaming, her sister, held back by their mother is screaming as well, her father sternly closes the door as she is being taken away. She is then trained for 2 months in household work and obedience training, but not touched sexually. Still a virgin, she is eventually auctioned off and sold to the second MC.

The second MC is a nerdy guy, desperate for companionship.
He was always bullied as 'the fat kid' throughout his school life and his passion for programming didn't help with his image. He is extremely shy towards girls, getting completely red in the face and often just walking away in shame. However he is now 35 years old and has tried to better himself. He has a great job as a highly rated software engineer, making 7 figures. He installed a home gym in his beautifull home and turned himself from the 7ft. fat guy to the 7ft. guy who you'd suspect is Superman in disguise. (Yeah I sort of modeled him after Clark Kent.) He is disciplined and his house looks clean. But he still can't talk to girls.

So this leads him to get a slave permit and purchase a Slave, and you guessed it. That slave is Lexi.

Problem with him is, I am not sure if his character is believable enough. On the other hand I don't know what I can do to make him more realistic. I like the Idea of 7ft, 7 figures, 7 inches, but can't talk to girls. But not sure if I can get away with it.

After second MC (Still need a name for him btw) has purchased Lexi, an unlikely lovestory follows with plenty of sexual encounters. But another issue I have is that there isn't much sex in the first part. And I wonder if I can just get away with Lexi seeing other slaves being sex trained at the facility added on by her medical check-ups and preperations. (Basically she isn't being sexually trained because she is a virgin and inexperience sells better in that case.). I do plan on publishing the story in one go, so maybe it's not that bad the reader will have to wait for the sexual parts a bit?

Of course I have plenty things ready for after he purchases her already, but I don't want to make this post too long, I think I need to work out this part as the foundation first.

Sorry for the long posts and I hope everything is clear about what I'm writing. I really do like this idea myself and want to write it, but like I said there are a couple of things still not sitting right with me.

 

[Rob_Royale]

Slavery is a touchy subject.

 

[NuclearFairy]

This kinda sounds like indentured servitude, which was where people sold themselves into slavery and then worked to pay off the dept. The biggest problem with that was that people who were their dept owners were also their employers and so kept them in dept by charging outrageous interest fees, and housing, feeding, and clothing fees. I suppose you could also work something like that into your story.

 

[Nightscream89]

Slavery is a touchy subject.

Yeah I know, but there are plenty of stories that include it.
I doubted to call it something else, but that feels cheap. I mean it is what it is and it's important to setting and power dynamic in the story.
Where he is her owner and holds all the power but because he is so shy towards women he never really exerts that power. She however is bolder and feels like she needs to make him happy or be sold by him.

The story is mostly about him coming out of his shell and about her understanding him more and more and realizing that he actually cares for her.
While at first he just wants a woman to satisfy his lust (which he is too shy to act on even though she is his slave) and she just believes she has no choice, slowly they start seeing each other's true characters and fall in love with each other.

I think them being Master/slave is the strongest portrayel of this power dynamic and changing it would weaken the story and calling it something else feels like a cheap cop-out.

This kinda sounds like indentured servitude, which was where people sold themselves into slavery and then worked to pay off the dept. The biggest problem with that was that people who were their dept owners were also their employers and so kept them in dept by charging outrageous interest fees, and housing, feeding, and clothing fees. I suppose you could also work something like that into your story.

I guess it sort of is like indentured servitude as in they become a slave for money. But they never receive any money themselves or can work off any debt. So I think it is different in many ways as well.
Also I like to play with a version where there are rules that protect slaves etc. like the goverment in the story that introduced this tries to justify it by putting these restrictions on it. Even though that doesn't make it allright.
I kinda looked at real world (first world) goverments and how they try and justify shitty policies and thought this would probably fit in that line of thought with how they would handle this.

 

[Husky_Embrace]

I would spin the slavery differently and change the tricking of his daughter. It's just my view on a few things though. You can happily ignore it.

Instead of slavery I would call it a service. The idea is that people can offer a sort of fixed contract, paid up front to a benefactor, which can be themselves. Basically someone pays salary right now in a lump sum to the benefactor. The negatives of this practically slavery are well known, which is why they give the incentive of a large sum of money up front. That way it is more transactional than slavery, even though it results in the same thing.

The second is tricking the daughter. Unless it is important to have resentment to her father (and possibly the rest of the family) for tricking her, I would make it a conscious decision. The family knows about the debt. They would struggle, with the possibility of a slavery contract on the horizon if the business fails.

Someone, possibly the daughter, suggests the contract now to save the rest of the family. Even if it is irrational, it can look like the only way out.

Those would be my suggestions.

Though when writing this I imagined more. It could be that the mother gives some suggestions how to make sure her daughter has an easy time during the slavery. Maybe she hints at her own slavery at one point, and that their father is now her equal through mysterious fleshy means.

 

[KindredFlame]

I love this premise. I was my wife’s slave before we got married. We had a contract that was written up by a solicitor and every part of the slavery contract was discussed and agreed by both parties in front of the solicitor. I wanted total domination where my now wife wanted caring and promises of my protection for life.

I love the idea of voluntary slavery being a commodity that can be bought and sold like a stock on an exchange of some kind.

Tricking the daughter into slavery is a fun idea but falls short of the voluntary aspect of the premise don’t you think?

 

[Nightscream89]

I love this premise. I was my wife’s slave before we got married. We had a contract that was written up by a solicitor and every part of the slavery contract was discussed and agreed by both parties in front of the solicitor. I wanted total domination where my now wife wanted caring and promises of my protection for life.

I love the idea of voluntary slavery being a commodity that can be bought and sold like a stock on an exchange of some kind.

Tricking the daughter into slavery is a fun idea but falls short of the voluntary aspect of the premise don’t you think?

Yeah I am thinking of changing the start of the story and have her agree to it, but heavily influenced by her father. Maybe he told her about the debt and tells her it's the only way to pay for her sisters college etc.? She agrees reluctantly and thinks of it as a sacrifice she has to make for her parents and sister to get the family out of debt.
In reality maybe her father took out a loan he can't repay and that contract stated that if he can't repay it the loan shark/bank can sell him into slavery to get their money. Which could be a revelation later on.

Basically she agreed to become a slave, so the voluntary aspect stays, but she was manipulated by her father, which still makes the father a despicable person which I like to have in the story.

The rest could remain, she still doesn't really know what she is getting into and the man that buys her would still be the rich, handsome but very socially awkward and shy guy that shuts down around girls. They mutually grow as people and she realizes she was manipulated and later finds out her father just wanted to save his own ass.

 

[KindredFlame]

Yeah I am thinking of changing the start of the story and have her agree to it, but heavily influenced by her father. Maybe he told her about the debt and tells her it's the only way to pay for her sisters college etc.? She agrees reluctantly and thinks of it as a sacrifice she has to make for her parents and sister to get the family out of debt.
In reality maybe her father took out a loan he can't repay and that contract stated that if he can't repay it the loan shark/bank can sell him into slavery to get their money. Which could be a revelation later on.

Basically she agreed to become a slave, so the voluntary aspect stays, but she was manipulated by her father, which still makes the father a despicable person which I like to have in the story.

The rest could remain, she still doesn't really know what she is getting into and the man that buys her would still be the rich, handsome but very socially awkward and shy guy that shuts down around girls. They mutually grow as people and she realizes she was manipulated and later finds out her father just wanted to save his own ass.

Yes making her agree to do this for some reason is the right way to go I think.

 

[MrSmith27]

There are all sorts of legal slavery (34th Amendment) stories out there where people put up their bodies as collateral on loans or sell themselves to pay off a debt. I'd take the government out of it with regards to training and discipline. Make it private enterprise capitalist system with different companies putting out different products. Make your protagonist's height more realistic and take away Lexi's virgin status as it limits what you can do with her. Then there is the slave grading aspect which would give your father the opportunity to sell her off. Why is this twin being sold and not the other one? Did I miss something? They would bring in more money as a matched pair. Just saying.

 

[Nightscream89]

There are all sorts of legal slavery (34th Amendment) stories out there where people put up their bodies as collateral on loans or sell themselves to pay off a debt. I'd take the government out of it with regards to training and discipline. Make it private enterprise capitalist system with different companies putting out different products. Make your protagonist's height more realistic and take away Lexi's virgin status as it limits what you can do with her. Then there is the slave grading aspect which would give your father the opportunity to sell her off. Why is this twin being sold and not the other one? Did I miss something? They would bring in more money as a matched pair. Just saying.

I get what you are saying, but I don't think it fits my story.
The essence of the story is the love story between slave and master in a modern setting.

I don't dislike the idea of making the training facilities privately owned and competing, however the reason I put it as a goverment institute is because there are laws protecting slaves, the institute also guards that fact and checks if slaves aren't being abused.

One point you make I do completely disagree with is that the height of the male protagonist is unrealistic, I see people that tall almost daily and I know upwards of 10 people who are over 7ft. tall. So I just don't see how that is unrealistic.

About why Lexi is being sold and not her sister, that has to do with the father. He isn't just a greedy bastard that wants as much money as possible. He genuinely believes he just needs some cash to turn around his failing business so he can start earning a decent living and buy her back and provide for his family. He convinced himself that doing this is the right thing. He is just delusional/self centered. He chose Lexi over her sister because Lexi is more composed and thinks before she acts where her sister is more emotional and acts on emotion. She probably would be too scared to agree to this, or at least more difficult to convince. Lexi can be convinced that it's the best move by presenting (seemingly) logical arguments. And even though Lexi is intelligent and thinks before she acts, her lack of life experience and trust in her father prevents her from seeing what a bad idea this is and it sounds logical, even though she hates it.

In my first idea where she was tricked, I had him pick her simply because she is mentally stronger, but I will now go the route of him convincing her, which actually let's me highlight the differences between her and her sister even more. Her sister will play a big part in the ending of the story though, as well as being her reason to keep going at the start of it.

Her being a virgin is also with a reason. Having virgins sell better gives me reason to not have her have sex against her will. Because my plan is to not have her forced into sex at all in the story. Just having the setting there for it to happen, but in stead the male protagonist buys her and is actually a good person. Sure he fantasized about having a woman do everything he wants, but he simply can't see people as objects and that prevents him from forcing her. However as their love grows of course a lot of sex will happen between them.