A Slave and Master

[Nightscream89]

So another probably a bit complicated idea. But I am actually already working on this story, but I'm not happy with some parts of it.

Basically slavery has returned, be it in a different form since there are now rules in place.
First up is that people can only become a slave 'voluntarily' or at least in theory that is the case.
Basically becoming a slave always goes through the goverment and the proces is:
- Sign the slavery contract, which names a benefactor.
- Get trained as a slave by a goverment institute.
- Get auctioned off as a slave, the money will go to the benefactor named in the contract, minus some fees.

Now in theory every slave becomes one voluntarily, mostly to get the money to their family so they can have a better life. However even though you can't be forced into slavery, there are some loan sharks and even banks that accept a slave contract as collateral, meaning when the person can't pay back the loan they will be sold into slavery. These people obviously think they can pay back the loan, but when it turns out they can't they become slaves. So they sort of do it to themselves but kinda grey area on the voluntary stuff.
And there are even cases of people beiing tricked into signing the slave contract. (Like one of the MC's)

Being a slave doesn't mean you have no protection at all, more like you get the rights of basically a pet. Meaning that masters are also responsible for their slave(s). First they need a permit to own a slave, this includes how many they are allowed to have, (standard is one, need additional permits for more slaves and a master is evaluated before each one is given.). They need to bring the slave for health check-ups and make sure they are properly fed and healthy. Like the owner of a dog can't mistreat or neglect their dog, same goes for a master with their slave.
Of course there are some differences:
- You can get sexual with a slave. (I mean wouldn't be much of an erotic story without that lol.)
- You can't euthanize a slave. (I mean obviously.)

Slaves cannot be physically abused so if a slave disobeys, masters do have the option to send them to the goverment institute for retraining, which is a punishment in and of itself.

So that's the setting of this world.

The story has 2 protagonists and is actually a love story.
Lexi is an 18 year old girl who lives with her parents and twin sister. The story starts on her 18th birthday. Her father is a (wannabe) entrepeneur but isn't doing too well. So he tricks her into signing the slave contract, he believes that with that money he will get his business up and running, so he can take care of her twin sister and mother and even buy her back.

The way I have this in the story now is he gives her sister a (old and cheap) car for their 18th birthday he has the car papers there and her sister signs them, then says he bought Lexi one as well, but as she eagerly signs the papers for the second car, it's actually the slave contract she is signing.
I am not too happy about this, because it seems too easy and it just feels like signing a slave contract should be more complicated than this. Maybe I should add in that her father bribed a notary or something?

Well that evening she is taken away screaming, her sister, held back by their mother is screaming as well, her father sternly closes the door as she is being taken away. She is then trained for 2 months in household work and obedience training, but not touched sexually. Still a virgin, she is eventually auctioned off and sold to the second MC.

The second MC is a nerdy guy, desperate for companionship.
He was always bullied as 'the fat kid' throughout his school life and his passion for programming didn't help with his image. He is extremely shy towards girls, getting completely red in the face and often just walking away in shame. However he is now 35 years old and has tried to better himself. He has a great job as a highly rated software engineer, making 7 figures. He installed a home gym in his beautifull home and turned himself from the 7ft. fat guy to the 7ft. guy who you'd suspect is Superman in disguise. (Yeah I sort of modeled him after Clark Kent.) He is disciplined and his house looks clean. But he still can't talk to girls.

So this leads him to get a slave permit and purchase a Slave, and you guessed it. That slave is Lexi.

Problem with him is, I am not sure if his character is believable enough. On the other hand I don't know what I can do to make him more realistic. I like the Idea of 7ft, 7 figures, 7 inches, but can't talk to girls. But not sure if I can get away with it.

After second MC (Still need a name for him btw) has purchased Lexi, an unlikely lovestory follows with plenty of sexual encounters. But another issue I have is that there isn't much sex in the first part. And I wonder if I can just get away with Lexi seeing other slaves being sex trained at the facility added on by her medical check-ups and preperations. (Basically she isn't being sexually trained because she is a virgin and inexperience sells better in that case.). I do plan on publishing the story in one go, so maybe it's not that bad the reader will have to wait for the sexual parts a bit?

Of course I have plenty things ready for after he purchases her already, but I don't want to make this post too long, I think I need to work out this part as the foundation first.

Sorry for the long posts and I hope everything is clear about what I'm writing. I really do like this idea myself and want to write it, but like I said there are a couple of things still not sitting right with me.

 

[Rob_Royale]

Slavery is a touchy subject.

 

[NuclearFairy]

This kinda sounds like indentured servitude, which was where people sold themselves into slavery and then worked to pay off the dept. The biggest problem with that was that people who were their dept owners were also their employers and so kept them in dept by charging outrageous interest fees, and housing, feeding, and clothing fees. I suppose you could also work something like that into your story.

 

[Nightscream89]

Slavery is a touchy subject.

Yeah I know, but there are plenty of stories that include it.
I doubted to call it something else, but that feels cheap. I mean it is what it is and it's important to setting and power dynamic in the story.
Where he is her owner and holds all the power but because he is so shy towards women he never really exerts that power. She however is bolder and feels like she needs to make him happy or be sold by him.

The story is mostly about him coming out of his shell and about her understanding him more and more and realizing that he actually cares for her.
While at first he just wants a woman to satisfy his lust (which he is too shy to act on even though she is his slave) and she just believes she has no choice, slowly they start seeing each other's true characters and fall in love with each other.

I think them being Master/slave is the strongest portrayel of this power dynamic and changing it would weaken the story and calling it something else feels like a cheap cop-out.

This kinda sounds like indentured servitude, which was where people sold themselves into slavery and then worked to pay off the dept. The biggest problem with that was that people who were their dept owners were also their employers and so kept them in dept by charging outrageous interest fees, and housing, feeding, and clothing fees. I suppose you could also work something like that into your story.

I guess it sort of is like indentured servitude as in they become a slave for money. But they never receive any money themselves or can work off any debt. So I think it is different in many ways as well.
Also I like to play with a version where there are rules that protect slaves etc. like the goverment in the story that introduced this tries to justify it by putting these restrictions on it. Even though that doesn't make it allright.
I kinda looked at real world (first world) goverments and how they try and justify shitty policies and thought this would probably fit in that line of thought with how they would handle this.

 

[Husky_Embrace]

I would spin the slavery differently and change the tricking of his daughter. It's just my view on a few things though. You can happily ignore it.

Instead of slavery I would call it a service. The idea is that people can offer a sort of fixed contract, paid up front to a benefactor, which can be themselves. Basically someone pays salary right now in a lump sum to the benefactor. The negatives of this practically slavery are well known, which is why they give the incentive of a large sum of money up front. That way it is more transactional than slavery, even though it results in the same thing.

The second is tricking the daughter. Unless it is important to have resentment to her father (and possibly the rest of the family) for tricking her, I would make it a conscious decision. The family knows about the debt. They would struggle, with the possibility of a slavery contract on the horizon if the business fails.

Someone, possibly the daughter, suggests the contract now to save the rest of the family. Even if it is irrational, it can look like the only way out.

Those would be my suggestions.

Though when writing this I imagined more. It could be that the mother gives some suggestions how to make sure her daughter has an easy time during the slavery. Maybe she hints at her own slavery at one point, and that their father is now her equal through mysterious fleshy means.