how hard is it to find a dominant man here?

[SirSparky]

She had spent a few days messaging him on a different site and he was pushing for a meet. She said let's meet at a coffee shop and he tried to "command" her to go to his place. When she declined, he said she wasn't a good sub and needed to be punished to be taught a lesson.

Another guy demanded a nude photo on first contact to "prove she was a true sub"

On the other hand, one guy she met for coffee was apparently very wishy washy and kept asking her if it was ok to order for her and when she asked what he expected of her, he said things and then stuttered and asked if that was alright with her. (Very low self confidence).

If she has been talking to someone, she will send me copies of the conversation to read to see if I can pick up any red flags. I will point things out and tell her to watch herself on those issues. Most of the time I turn out to be right. If I like the way he's talking and the direction of his intentions I'll tell her to give it a chance.

Another One of My ex Littles did the same thing and she is now with an amazing man. Learning to be a Dom but doing everything the right way.

Remembering of course that every dynamic is different. And there is a
right Dom for every Sub and Vice Versa

It can definitely take time to find the right fit. Those two 'doms' and I use the term loosely are abusers not true Doms. You cannot command a sub on first meeting. You need to talk first, see if yo are compatible. To find if you are both looking for the same thing etc

 

[Noor]

true, and yet nothing...

True, the pickings of random mail can be slim to say the least.

I’d get to know sone of them through posting and then research the hell out of them. Search their posts back to when they started.
There are some nice decent doms here, but many are wanna bees and have no idea of what they are doing. Some are looking for a “legit” way of being abusive. Maybe ask other women who are long time lit members for recommendations.
Unfortunately, the ones are I knew are either married, in long term exclusive relationships or gone, so I can’t think of any to recommend off the top of my head.

 

[dvnily]

True, the pickings of random mail can be slim to say the least.

I’d get to know sone of them through posting and then research the hell out of them. Search their posts back to when they started.
There are some nice decent doms here, but many are wanna bees and have no idea of what they are doing. Some are looking for a “legit” way of being abusive. Maybe ask other women who are long time lit members for recommendations.
Unfortunately, the ones are I knew are either married, in long term exclusive relationships or gone, so I can’t thing of any to recommend off the top of my head.

Thank you. I’ll try to do that.
It’ll be difficult to differentiate between a real dom and a wanna be though

 

[barefootgirl69]

Thank you. I’ll try to do that.
It’ll be difficult to differentiate between a real dom and a wanna be though

One red flag will be the insistence on calling them Sir, Daddy, or anything but their name at the start.

Another will be ordering you to do something without both of you discussing what your needs and wants are. "Tasks" fall under this header.

Being pushy about sexy time when you have already said it's not on the table yet, big red flag.

There's a difference in being dominant and being domineering.

 

[deft]

It's harder than it is to find a 19-year-old who just signed up and is already sharing a posts with topless pictures in. Where the hell are all those at?

 

[Noor]

Thank you. I’ll try to do that.
It’ll be difficult to differentiate between a real dom and a wanna be

Ask about contracts? Do they attend local Munichs? When they became doms? Hell, I’d ask for references.

 

[Mrtenant]

Be vewy vewy quiet. We're hunting dominants. Heheheheheheh