Depression. It's a silent killer.

My anxiety has been thru the roof lately. I'm going on vacation and hoping it will help curb it.
I look forward to being away from work. I work with a bunch of Ageists who think you become old after a certain age. So you can only imagine that I'm ancient artifacts to them. They're always surprised when I tell them I go to concerts, amusement parks, movies, comic conventions, etc. I’m in my early 50s not dead! And I don't even think I look my age. I just don't feel that I can relate to anyone. It's so hard to meet friends around where I live either. Makes me depressed.
 
It's one of those days where the black dog is just at the periphery of my world at the minute. I can tell that I'm a little susceptible right now as my sleep cycle has gone to shit...
 
My anxiety has been thru the roof lately. I'm going on vacation and hoping it will help curb it.
I look forward to being away from work. I work with a bunch of Ageists who think you become old after a certain age. So you can only imagine that I'm ancient artifacts to them. They're always surprised when I tell them I go to concerts, amusement parks, movies, comic conventions, etc. I’m in my early 50s not dead! And I don't even think I look my age. I just don't feel that I can relate to anyone. It's so hard to meet friends around where I live either. Makes me depressed.
Funny how as soon as you get beyond 50, people think you just stop doing the stuff :)
 
Been depressed and getting darker as the day goes on. I don’t know if it’s the meds messing with my head or what, but I keep thinking about jumping from an overpass soon.

I can’t see any point in living right now.
 
It’s Monday again. I had a long, busy weekend. My rock flies out to a new place and possibility today. I’m going to miss him but I know it’s the best thing for him right now.
Be safe out there.
Love you.
 
I am so very thankful this thread exists! I've been dealing with depression and panic and anxiety disorder. This may come across as a little off, but it's comforting to see that I'm not the only one who struggles with this. For me, my panic and anxiety disorder can be rather debilitating, especially when I have to travel for work.
My very first panic attack happened while I was on a flight from Tallahassee to Detroit and we were somewhere between Atlanta and Talla. That was the longest flight I've ever experienced, because I was hyper focused on what my heart was doing. At that time I knew nothing about panic/anxiety attacks but now I can recognize them. I still have a difficult time dealing with them, because rationale get launched out the window the moment I start having one.
 
I'm a medical provider in a mid-sized city in the United States. I don't have personal knowledge of other countries or more rural areas. I recently got off work and saw this thread.

If you need immediate help, please call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room. We are here to help you. You are not a burden, and aren't taking space away from anyone else. We don't care if you don't have insurance. Please utilize us before the alternative. We see you either way. I would prefer to get to know you.
 
I am so very thankful this thread exists! I've been dealing with depression and panic and anxiety disorder. This may come across as a little off, but it's comforting to see that I'm not the only one who struggles with this. For me, my panic and anxiety disorder can be rather debilitating, especially when I have to travel for work.
My very first panic attack happened while I was on a flight from Tallahassee to Detroit and we were somewhere between Atlanta and Talla. That was the longest flight I've ever experienced, because I was hyper focused on what my heart was doing. At that time I knew nothing about panic/anxiety attacks but now I can recognize them. I still have a difficult time dealing with them, because rationale get launched out the window the moment I start having one.
This is exactly why we try to keep this post on top. We all need to know we’re not alone in our struggle with this demon.

Be safe out there and please reach out if you’re struggling. You’re not alone.
Love you.
 
I am so very thankful this thread exists! I've been dealing with depression and panic and anxiety disorder. This may come across as a little off, but it's comforting to see that I'm not the only one who struggles with this. For me, my panic and anxiety disorder can be rather debilitating, especially when I have to travel for work.
My very first panic attack happened while I was on a flight from Tallahassee to Detroit and we were somewhere between Atlanta and Talla. That was the longest flight I've ever experienced, because I was hyper focused on what my heart was doing. At that time I knew nothing about panic/anxiety attacks but now I can recognize them. I still have a difficult time dealing with them, because rationale get launched out the window the moment I start having one.
It's amazing how much knowing you are not alone helps.

Always remember that you aren't the only one and we're all here to help one another.
 
I had a rough weekend, which I’m positive were because of my meds. That shit was putting thoughts into my head that I should end my life on my birthday on Friday because my “birth was a ‘mistake’ and I should ‘correct the mistake’ on the day it occured”.

I have stopped taking that shit and thankfully those thoughts have gone away. I mean, what the actual FUCK?? I can’t believe it got that bad… I am so thankful I stopped taking it when I did, and that I had an appointment with my therapist today. She agreed that I made the right decision. Now that I’m thinking clearly, I really don’t want to die, especially not on what’s supposed to be my most special day!!
 
A good relationship without sex can be a relationship with anyone. A significant other should be significantly more. To eliminate sex in that significant relationship, where there once was, it taking away from the relationship.
 
Dr appointment today then some shopping. Not my favorite thing.

Be safe out there.
Love you.
 
Now that my head has cleared up, my mood has improved greatly! I even had a good, but quiet, birthday yesterday. Most people enjoy loud, busy celebrations, but I very much enjoyed the peace and quiet, that was a gift in itself!
Happy birthday Bass. I’m so glad it was a pleasant day for you. I much prefer a quiet day with a few close friends or just myself to a loud party.
 
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