New spins

[Five_Inch_Heels]

I picture Bram more drop bear-ish.

 

[StillStunned]

That page also has a very informative third paragraph which details how to employ the trope skillfully. I find the "in some circles" especially relevant.

Disregarding for the moment that the third paragraph *doesn't* say how to use the trope skilfully, I'm not sure what the point is of this argument. If you disagree that it's a cliché, fine, you've said so. How about you provide some examples of an original twist?

Or else, in the spirit of making a positive contribution to the thread, choose another cliché and give it an original spin. In my OP I already mentioned mother and son sharing a bed, and the voyeur whose neighbours don't have curtains. I'm sure you can think of others.

 

[Bramblethorn]

Uh uh, yep...

Mhmmmm... yep...

...

Why did you have to ruin it?

I suppose it wouldn't help to mention that when I say "aquiline nose" I mean a nose shaped like a whole eagle.

 

[Bramblethorn]

I picture Bram more drop bear-ish.

If I ever get my next story written, it's going to involve drop bears.

 

[FrancesScott]

Could it be a sentient mirror who makes the viewer look better than they are and then compliments their appearance?

It had been the best purchase ever. No more leaving the house depressed after surveying the ever more wrinkled bags under my eyes, or the raven’s feet at their corners; they were too pronounced for mere crows nowadays. No more vain attempts to create a non-wrinkled facsimile of cleavage from uncooperative flesh that would really rather sag resignedly, thank you very much.

No I now stepped out brimming with confidence, due to my wise purchase of a Love-Ur-Looks 2000 patented mirror. Not only did it give my reflection a real-time make-over like an IG filter on steroids, it would also tell me just how pretty I looked in a reassuring and totally credible voice.

 

[Five_Inch_Heels]

Do drop bears drop bare?

 

[yowser]

The poker game doesn't involve 'losing' a wife in a bet, but her seducing the crew.

Comment: As for the poker game .. pleasantly surprised. I didn't expect her to start under the table.

 

[FrancesScott]

If that phenomenon had anything to do with gender, then, male writers wouldn’t write any character doing this, and female writers wouldn’t write male characters doing it.

I’ve never written a guy doing anything beyond a cursory glance, but I have written women critically appraising themselves at some length, because we do.

 

[StillStunned]

Could it be a sentient mirror who makes the viewer look better than they are and then compliments their appearance?

Or for a non-fantasy twist, a blind person looking into a speaking mirror. That would be original..

"Mirror, describe my appearance today."

"Hello. You have cerulean eyes. You have an aquiline nose. You have size 84JJ tits. Your hair needs brushing."

 

[Five_Inch_Heels]

The poker game doesn't involve 'losing' a wife in a bet, but her seducing the crew.

Comment: As for the poker game .. pleasantly surprised. I didn't expect her to start under the table.

My women always make their own choices. I don't do card games, or games of chance at all, but if I did, she may be the dealer and stack the deck a bit.

 

[Five_Inch_Heels]

Or for a non-fantasy twist, a blind person looking into a speaking mirror. That would be original..

"Mirror, describe my appearance today."

Mirror: "You remind me of Jack Palance."

Blind Guy: "Who?"

 

[StillStunned]

I avoided the mirror thing, perhaps paradoxically in a story subtitled "The Lady of Mirrors", by having the narrator see a painting of his ancestor and his hostess's (supposed) ancestor:

The painting before us, lit by a pair of large candles standing to either side of the frame, was done in the Georgian style from nearly a century earlier. The couple portrayed were clothed in rich silks, she with her hair in that old, elaborate fashion, though he had eschewed the customary powdered wig. The background was evidently fantastical: it showed palm trees and the ruins of a castle, and I doubted the portrait had been painted outside of England.

What took my breath away was the subject matter. The pair were both handsome and elegant, in the bloom of youth. When I had first seen the Countess, I had sought for some trace of the family likeness, but found none. Seeing the painting now, I understood why. She was the twin of the lady in the picture, with the same hair -- though now in a different style -- and the same brows, the same nose, the same mouth. The likeness was striking.

Even so, it was the man's face that made me gasp out loud. Handsome, with wavy blond hair and a familiar jaw. It was a face that I had seen in the mirror just that afternoon as I shaved.

"It is..." I groped for words. "It is remarkable! This is old William, I presume? And your own ancestor?"

Which is subverted later on:

I was tying the belt when he turned. "What you describe is one possibility. However," and here he seemed uncertain, "some people have other suspicions. You see, every Countess Ilira is identical to the previous one. They never age. They never appear as young girls. You saw the likeness of one yesterday."

Now he had my attention. Undeniably the Ilira in the painting had been the twin of the Ilira standing beside me. Then I shrugged. "So what? The man in the picture is the very image of myself. I do not see where you are going with this."

He was shaking his head as he paced up and down. "That portrait was touched up yesterday, after you arrived. The candles and oil lamps masked the scent of paint in the evening, but in the afternoon I smelled it clearly."

I waved a hand dismissively. "Pah, a little harmless flattery to make me feel more welcome. I still don't see what you're implying."

 

[FrancesScott]

I’ve never written a guy doing anything beyond a cursory glance, but I have written women critically appraising themselves at some length, because we do.

OK - I’m ashamed to say that was a barefaced lie - from my recent 1920s Literary Novel homage (and first Literotica story), Ice Cream, this is from the very male narrator:

As I looked in the bathroom mirror, face partially obscured by foam, I evaluated my degrading disfigurement. So I viewed it. Beth had said it made me look distinguished, and told me not to obsess about essentially nothing. But she had asked our wedding photographer to Photoshop it out, perhaps foreshadowing her later erasure of me from all aspects of her life.

To my eyes, it was ugly, and the dominant aspect of my otherwise unremarkable visage. Then I thought of Jordan's lips brushing its delineative defacement, and I picked up my razor, determined to provide her with a smoother substrate.

 

[StillStunned]

Moving on from mirrors...

A twist on sharing a bed. Yes, there's only one bed, but it's a massive king-size. No problem. Nothing sexy about it. Haven't we all shared beds with friends before on holiday? It's not a big deal. Except it's a lousy bed, and the middle sags, and oh no! here you are, your midnight boner pressed up against your mother's arse...

Or there's a leak in the ceiling, and the two single beds have to be pushed together to stay dry.

 

[FrancesScott]

Moving on from mirrors...

A twist on sharing a bed. Yes, there's only one bed, but it's a massive king-size. No problem. Nothing sexy about it. Haven't we all shared beds with friends before on holiday? It's not a big deal. Except it's a lousy bed, and the middle sags, and oh no! here you are, your midnight boner pressed up against your mother's arse...

Or there's a leak in the ceiling, and the two single beds have to be pushed together to stay dry.

I have nothing to add to this genre beyond my brief writing exercise the other day.

Could the bed have a mirror on the cieling? This from my recent lesbian story, Bilingual.

Van's bedroom was both pristine and minimalist, then I spied what looked like a large walk-in closet on the left, and assumed this housed the customary detritus. Her bed was the most extravagant thing about the room. For a start it was massive, for a second thing, it had a mirror on the ceiling above it - I'd thought those had died with Hugh Hefner. And the bed clothes were all rich purples and blacks, satin and silk, and throw pillows were everywhere.

"I'm a bit of a hedonist, darling," Van whispered with a hint of embarrassment. "Is it too much?"

For a vampire's lair, or Imperial Rome maybe not, but for little me? I gulped and managed, "It's lovely."

 

[Comshaw]

My favorite trope is enemies to lovers.. the cliché of course being that the story ends in a romantic HEA (guilty).
What I love seeing is is a good enemies to lovers but they still can't fucking stand each other story Not sure I've read one of those on lit...

Have you read this one? They dislike each other but end up doing it anyway. If you read it let me know what you think, kay?
Grudge Match


Comshaw

 

[ChuckWolf]

How about if the main-character is admiring their appearance in the mirror (with it being used to describe their appearance) and suddenly the reflection jumps out of the mirror and sexually attacks the main character?

 

[THBGato]

But I'm referring to the cliché of describing your POV through the medium of having a convenient mirror, preferably within the first few paragraphs.

Why have them describe themself at all? It's just weird. If you must, have somebody else describe them e.g. a hairdresser ("oooo, yes, a pixie cut would let those cheekbones out to play. And blonde would so suit those baby blue eyes.") But generally I don't have my pov characters describe themselves. (I did get told off by a reader once, who got three stories deep before they realised Ramona is black. It just wasn't relevant to the first two stories, so I didn't mention it.)

Back to the OP: New twists on clichés?

Well, I just published a story in which a guy rides to the woman's rescue... only to get tasered in the arse for his trouble, and then discover the woman had already solved her own problem. In a further twist, his girlfriend proposes to him (and not on Feb 29th either) and he chooses a woman to be his best man. Is that the kind of thing you're after?

 

[Five_Inch_Heels]

How about a different spin?


-------------

The bed was empty and there was a figure standing at the door silhouetted by the light behind. But the voice. It wasn’t Heidi’s and it took me a minute to recall the honey and whiskey drawl from last night.

“You still owe me a dance from last night Mister!”

The figure moved towards me and I recognized the gorgeous cocoa skinned vixen that had only briefly spoken to me at the bar.

“My wife asked me to apologize, but she had to go to work to handle a problem.”

“Your wife?”

“Mmm-huh, Heidi and I have been married about five years now. Every once in a while one of us gets the urge for a cock though. You just happened to be the one this time.”

“Lucky me.”

“I’m Althea, but my friends call me Thea.”

“Am I your friend?”

“You just fucked my wife and we’re sitting on the bed you did it in so you’d better be.”

“OK, Thea it is.”

-------------

 

[THBGato]

Guy gets lucky with lesbians? From what understand, that's the fantasy of about half the male population. What was new about it?

 

[NotWise]

I’m unsure why looking in a mirror is seen as problematic. I look in diffenet ones multiple times a day. And I don’t think I’m particularly vain, more insecure. People don’t say buying a coffee is a trope.

It's problematic because it's overused. The New York Times book editors have a series of articles online about various simple writing cliche's and how to fix them. This is a starting point. Having a first-person protagonist describe themselves in a mirror is #5 on their list of the top five literary cliches.

My third story on Lit described the MFC while she looked at herself in a mirror. Not even the 1st person cliche, but I cringe when I reread it. The NYT book editors suggest leaving the 1st person narrators appearance up to the reader's imagination. I've also (as in No Brand on My Pony) used the narrators actions to give clues to his appearance.

 

[Five_Inch_Heels]

" suggest leaving the 1st person narrators appearance up to the reader's imagination. "

I do that a lot, only relating basics.

And I've never even read the Times.

 

[Britva415]

I’ve never written a guy doing anything beyond a cursory glance, but I have written women critically appraising themselves at some length, because we do.

Nobody's saying you don't.

 

[Bramblethorn]

I have nothing to add to this genre beyond my brief writing exercise the other day.

Could the bed have a mirror on the cieling? This from my recent lesbian story, Bilingual.

Van's bedroom was both pristine and minimalist, then I spied what looked like a large walk-in closet on the left, and assumed this housed the customary detritus. Her bed was the most extravagant thing about the room. For a start it was massive, for a second thing, it had a mirror on the ceiling above it - I'd thought those had died with Hugh Hefner. And the bed clothes were all rich purples and blacks, satin and silk, and throw pillows were everywhere.

"I'm a bit of a hedonist, darling," Van whispered with a hint of embarrassment. "Is it too much?"

For a vampire's lair, or Imperial Rome maybe not, but for little me? I gulped and managed, "It's lovely."

Vampires not known for their love of mirrors, TBH...

 

[FrancesScott]

Vampires not known for their love of mirrors, TBH...

The cushions and… oh never mind.