Grammar question...

[ShelbyDawn57]

“You. Didn’t. Do. It.” Jerry poked me in the chest with each word.


Periods, yes or no? Why?


EDIT: I'm leaving them in. I just wanted to get opinions...

 

[iwatchus]

I like them in. It read the way you want it to be read

 

[yowser]

That's fine. Achieves your effect, reads well.

 

[12oclocktales]

In. They emphasize the poking action.

I wonder if Jerry’s reaction might be:

“Thanks, love. Now. Poke. Lower. Please!” (He’d be smiling, of course.)

 

[SimonDoom]

I think it's a matter of style, not grammar, and I think it's fine.

 

[Comshaw]

I have to agree with Simon, it's more about personal style than grammar. Periods are fine. Me, I'd go with elipes because I see it as one statement with pauses between the words. But again, it's about style and that just happens to be mine.

Mine would read, "You...didn't...do...it." Jerry emphasised each word with a poke in the chest with his finger.


Comshaw

 

[TheLobster]

Definitely in. My opinion is of course completely unrelated to the story I published today that uses this exact punctuation

 

[StillStunned]

In. Out. In. Out. Shake it all about.

Verdict: in.

 

[SexyInMy60s]

“You. Didn’t. Do. It.” Jerry poked me in the chest with each word.


Periods, yes or no? Why?


EDIT: I'm leaving them in. I just wanted to get opinions...

Yes leave them in.

 

[ronde]

“You. Didn’t. Do. It.” Jerry poked me in the chest with each word.


Periods, yes or no? Why?


EDIT: I'm leaving them in. I just wanted to get opinions...

The periods serve the same purpose as the ellipsis, but opposite.

The ellipsis is used to denote a pause in speech, usually to imply hesitancy or possibly deliberation.

The period is used to denote a hard stop in speech. In this case they imply short, direct, speech rather than a normal conversation.

 

[PennyThompson]

Definitely in, but very very sparingly, I'd say. As a singular moment to emphasize emotions and cadence, it's lovely and effective.

If it happened more than once (or perhaps twice, if the second time is an intentional call-back) I think the trick would get old.

 

[SinclairGroupLLP]

“You. Didn’t. Do. It.” Jerry poked me in the chest with each word.


Periods, yes or no? Why?


EDIT: I'm leaving them in. I just wanted to get opinions...

I use this kind of thing all the time. It adds emphasis and I think people can hear the pauses in their head.

"Oh. My. God." etc.

 

[XerXesXu]

Jerry pointed his right index finger at my ribs and jabbed rhythmically. 'YOU..DID..NOT..DO...IT.'

The 'Jerry etc' should come first; it's the explanation for the excursion into stylistic eccentricity that follows.
I would capitalise. I also prefer white space to punctuation marks when it serves my purpose just as well. (Insert any character you like and turn it white; Lit seems unwilling to support multiple word spacings.)

 

[TheLobster]

Insert any character you like and turn it white; Lit seems unwilling to support multiple word spacings.

It’s not Lit, it’s HTML. Strings of multiple spaces and similar characters like newlines are by default collapsed into a single space before rendering. You could use <pre> tags and put your custom spacing there but mobile readers might hate you if you overdo it.

Whatever you do, though, do not just color some other letters white. Dark theme exists.

 

[XerXesXu]

It’s not Lit, it’s HTML. Strings of multiple spaces and similar characters like newlines are by default collapsed into a single space before rendering. You could use <pre> tags and put your custom spacing there but mobile readers might hate you if you overdo it.

Whatever you do, though, do not just color some other letters white. Dark theme exists.

Long ago, I used Dreamweaver.