Tanka Poem

[AoiEndo]

Little bird hidden
Awaiting the ending squall
Searching for her nest
Sweet dreams of warm nights snuggled
Gentle morning rays of hope

so soft and tender

 

[NivKay]

Little bird hidden
Awaiting the ending squall
Searching for her nest
Sweet dreams of warm nights snuggled
Gentle morning rays of hope

"Awaiting the ending squall"...love that line

 

[_Land]

@AoiEndo

Dandelion Reverence

九月の日
kugatsu no hi
風に花降る
kaze ni hana furu
道のくに咲いて
michi no ku ni saite
名もなき花よ
na mo naki hana yo


days of September—
petals fall into the wind
on a country road
you bloom where no name is known
oh flower, nameless and pure


No promises on the translation but this is an attempt to honor traditional form and language ......

 

[AoiEndo]

This was very special! The translation may be good enough.. but is there a missing line?

In any case, I loved how poetry can transcend.. I would like to believe that we can all talk the same language - poetry is tenderness after all!

 

[_Land]

This was very special! The translation may be good enough.. but is there a missing line?

In any case, I loved how poetry can transcend.. I would like to believe that we can all talk the same language - poetry is tenderness after all!

The issue with translation is trying to get the English translation in Japanese translation to match form perfectly is impossible

 

[AoiEndo]

I know.. even I wouldn’t dare!!!

 

[_Land]

I know.. even I wouldn’t dare!!!

As long as it gave you the imagery I'm happy

 

[WCSGarland]

how would this translate i can do google translate but i have no idea if the meaning is translated, well and if it is even worthy

winter wind mourns ruin
little bird sings sinfully
fearing the swaying nest
tender drops, glitter like pearls
tormented, peach flower blooms

Syllable counts are off from the Tanka form, but other than that, it is not a bad attempt.

 

[puppett]

Syllable counts are off from the Tanka form, but other than that, it is not a bad attempt.

oh i am so sorry, i thought i had counted a few times,

 

[WCSGarland]

oh i am so sorry, i thought i had counted a few times,

No need for apologies, just keep practicing - and counting syllables.
Your first and third lines had 6 instead of 5, but all the other lines had the proper amount.

 

[AlinaX]

how soon till the air
is thick with the stench of guilt
that cannot be washed?
ah, they will celebrate soon
in the land of the forlorn

 

[AoiEndo]

Syllable counts are off from the Tanka form, but other than that, it is not a bad attempt.

I think it was a beautiful attempt!

 

[AoiEndo]

oh i am so sorry, i thought i had counted a few times,

Stay in the moment and remember: you wrote a poem. It may not be a Tanka, but you wrote a poem. Isn’t that a beautiful thing?!

 

[Tzara]

I sent Joan roses,
delicate orange-pink blooms
like her skin's light blush,
then turned my thoughts to Susan
and her low moans beneath me

 

[Angeline]

Love Song

Lilac petals fell,
fragrant drifts on late Spring air
fallen to my skin,
silk upon my creamy flesh,
while you shook the branch and smiled.

 

[_Land]

Tanka in Lavender ( westernized)

evening wind carries
lavender across the field
soft as parting sighs
it lingers in my sleeve folds
long after the light has gone





Tanka in Lavender(traditional with kigo and makurakotoba)

evening faces bloom
shadows pressed into pale dusk
a cold breeze descends
fragrant trace of incense clings
where the mountain path forgets

 

[_Land]

For my grandfather who suffered greatly from Alzheimers before passing.

the forgetting frost
even mother’s name has blown
into falling dust
yet the altar flame still sways
as if memory survives

 

[AlinaX]

for a brief moment
she lifted face to the sun
and was beautiful
one day I am sure they'll find
louboutins by the quicksand

 

[AoiEndo]

Love Song

Lilac petals fell,
fragrant drifts on late Spring air
fallen to my skin,
silk upon my creamy flesh,
while you shook the branch and smiled.

Oh! You took my breath away here!

 

[AoiEndo]

for a brief moment
she lifted face to the sun
and was beautiful
one day I am sure they'll find
louboutins by the quicksand

At least she was happy when she departed

 

[AoiEndo]

Tanka in Lavender ( westernized)

evening wind carries
lavender across the field
soft as parting sighs
it lingers in my sleeve folds
long after the light has gone





Tanka in Lavender(traditional with kigo and makurakotoba)

evening faces bloom
shadows pressed into pale dusk
a cold breeze descends
fragrant trace of incense clings
where the mountain path forgets

This brings me home

 

[WCSGarland]

A father's daughter,
Her bride price is guaranteed,
King secures the future,
Of tribe he's bound to protect,
Daughter's legacy begins.

 

[WCSGarland]

At least she was happy when she departed

Happy? When she had to leave the louboutins behind?

 

[AoiEndo]

Happy? When she had to leave the louboutins behind?

This is true

 

[AlinaX]

A poem born of depression at the self-fuelled demise of Humanity.