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Leahaven
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IARainman
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Maybe they would like performing while on an audio call. Robbie would not be allowed to react or the call ends.... just a thought
You might also be able to assign him the task of writing after you've relayed details of an outing.
Robbie has his fair share of talents, but writing isn't one of them
NancyPan
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Leah, Again, from the perspective of a submissive male, regarding your date with Alex: I get it that he threw you off your game and took the upper hand, BUT please do not downplay your own power as a Woman. Perhaps you were groomed as a princess, but now you are a Queen. Do not be intimidated by his arrogant attitude or by money. The fact that he paid for an expensive meal entitles him to nothing! Do not let him think that he can dominate you or that you are not always in control of yourself, your body, and every sexual encounter. Remember that he will do anything for the privilege of fucking you. You have the pussy, you make the rules! NancyPan
policywank
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If you choose to share those kinks with your dates that is your prerogative as long as it doesn't violate any trust with Robbie.
SlutAddicted
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I am always keen to be involved in my wife's extramarital affairs in any way I can. She is more discerning than I am as she is better positioned to know how the other men feel about it and is more concerned with "protecting" me from any negative blowback. Reality is that most of them just want to fuck her without indulging my kinks. Some are more open to it, but I would say they are mostly doing it for her. And she usually likes to get to know them before even considering it or broaching the topic.
That said, once she does get to know a guy she isn't afraid to nudge him towards indulging our kinks. At that point given the choice to fuck her while I watch or not at all they almost always choose to fuck her.
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policywank
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I certainly enjoy it when my lovers are willing to indulge kinky cuckold play of any kind. However, I am also very wary of men's ability to handle that situation properly. They often tend to see it as a power play for them. And the online portrayal of this lifestyle encourages them in that direction, which is very different from the way we play.
Thank you, NancyPan. I get everything you are saying, and I agree completely, but Alex was only kidding around and looking for a way to "break the ice." I was enjoying sparring with him (that's my personality) and playing along with his narrative. He is probably right about me being spoiled, but the fact that I am spoiled means I am never going to do something I don't want to do. I'm spoiled.
And I don't mean to sound stuck-up, but I like who I am and I place a high value on myself. I've got my difficult traits like anyone, of course, but no one is going to talk me into sex or buy sex from me. If I don't feel like I am being valued as a person, nothing is going to happen.
Alex wanted to impress me with the expensive restaurant. That was just one way of his of saying that he values me as a person. I appreciated his efforts.
I can only write about bits and pieces of a date, so there is so much you people do not get to see. Alex is a really good guy, and he really likes me, more than just the sex. Our personalities mix very well. He is a dominant personality in bed. I have never experienced that before, but I am enjoying it very much.
Alex and I discussed the challenges of our marriages in New Orleans. It was a nice, intimate discussion between two people who were essentially strangers, and Alex admitted to his own faults and personal struggles. I was impressed by his honesty about himself. I told him about Robbie's problem with premature ejaculation and my frustrations because I didn't think I would ever see him again. So him finding out about Robbie's "tendencies" during our date was not a leap, but a small step that I felt he could handle appropriately. To be honest, it was also a bit of a test. That test is still in progress. I haven't graded him yet, but so far, he is doing quite well.
I haven't seen much of the online portrayals, so I don't know what that looks like, but I understand the concern at hand. But I know Robbie, and I know that if I can keep him in an atmosphere of uncertainty and humility in which I have all the control and power, it keeps us both in an almost constant state of arousal. To do that requires me to take some risks, but managing risks is the whole point of my job. So far, if I say so myself, this girl has done pretty good, but I agree with what you are saying, and I never move on anything new in this "lifestyle" without a healthy dose of caution.
SlutAddicted
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I love that delicious constant state of arousal. It is something that a lot of guys don't understand. We are so oriented towards achieving that physical stimulation of ejaculation that we tend to hasten to that. Afterwards our interest drops away for a short period then returns again. As a result our sexual stimulation is sort of a series of flares ups and burn outs. And a lot of time in between chasing that brief stimulus with limited success.
Under my wife's leadership all that has changed. She controls my ejaculations and in between is a constant state of arousal in which she has seemingly infinite ways of stimulating me and building it up in layers. Of course being in a cock cage full time is part of it. But her words, gestures and little hints at her sexual activity are all very powerful. And it takes the arousal beyond the physical and into the mental space. She owns me mind and body. At times it is so intense that I don't want to ejaculate. Of course I have no say in when I am permitted to ejaculate so I don't worry about that. But just the thought of it means the end of the mental state of arousal even if only briefly.
She has trained me to embrace this constant state of arousal so when I do get to ejaculate it is that much more powerful. It seems like there are no limits to how far she can take it as she keeps building up to new heights. But one of the biggest leaps she made was when she introduced prostate stimulation as a reward for an extended period of ejaculation denial. Wow. It blew my mind.
A lot of guys don't understand the cuckold experience because they don't understand why they should be denied the sexual latitude that is afforded to their wife. What they are missing is that once one enters this immersive head space of almost constant arousal other women lose their appeal. As a result the asymmetrical nature of the relationship is not really a compromise and is in fact a big source of arousal. Conventional sexual interactions pale in comparison to the experience of being a cuckold to a creative and inventive hotwife who enjoys engaging with her cuckold in this way.
policywank
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It sounds like you are doing great with managing Robbie and Alex, each in their own way. There are always judgments to make and as you say they do involve involve risks. I think that it is almost impossible to quantify what makes a man a good candidate for lover in a way that fits this "lifestyle". But communication and open-mindedness are obviously key and it sounds like you and Alex are off to a great start on that front.
I probably err on the side of suggesting caution because I do hear from a lot of people who seem to approach this type of situation without the care and self-awareness that you have. Reality for me is that my cuckold is often more willing than I am to push the envelope and he really wants me to engage with him on these things. So, if I am too cautious I might end up inadvertently shutting him out. Knowing that he has such a large appetite for cuckold play really allows me to indulge my own darker desires. I am not sure if "darker" is the right word there. There is sometimes an element of selfishness and even sadism in the way I use my authority and I enjoy indulging that. But I wouldn't do it and couldn't enjoy it if he wasn't also an enthusiastic participant.
liqueur
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I think “darker” is an excellent word choice. It doesn't need to be a value judgment. (Thinking about this because I was using the same word on a different thread earlier today.)
I decided we should go to my car, and as Alex approached the passenger side, he asked, "Am I going to fit in this thing?" He is a really tall, solid guy, and I have a Honda Accord.
"I don't know," I shrugged. "Not my problem."
Travis fits with plenty of room, so I felt sure Alex would fit, too, and he did.
In the car, I sat facing him, kind of curled up in my seat. He turned and leaned my way, and our faces were close. We talked for a minute, and the suggestive tone got serious fast, but there were people around. We drove to a parking garage just a few blocks away and parked on the very top floor. It was completely empty of cars up there, and over the tree tops we could see the sun, very low in the sky, glowing red on the distant horizon.
We turned to face each other again, our faces painted in the red hue, and we stared into each other's eyes in an almost deafening silence. I was still smiling and giddy, but he had become more serious. He began to study my face, my lips, my cheeks, my nose, every single contour, and it stirred my heart. I felt like I was the most beautiful thing in the world to him. Then, his eyes returned to mine.
"Leah," he said, softly.
"Yes?"
"I would really like to kiss you."
"Will it count toward what I owe?"
Alex smiled, gently. "It would be the privilege of a lifetime for me."
"Oh, alright then," I said with a sigh, like it was a burden I must endure. "If that's what I have to do."
He nodded with sympathy.
"I'm afraid it is."
We kissed, at first softly, warmly, caressing, but then he cradled my head, pulled me in tighter, opened his mouth wider, and shoved his tongue deeper. He was trying to devour me. It was a demanding, ravenous kiss, and it was not something I had ever experienced before. Robbie has never kissed me like that. Travis has never kissed me like that. I have never felt so desired in my life, and it was making the prize between my legs very, very warm and tingly.
His demanding hand let go of my head, and it found its way to my thigh, curled up onto the seat. As we kissed, his hand made its way under my dress and began to slowly meander up my smoothly shaven thigh. He gently, almost reverently, touched my tingling pussy through my now wet panties, and I unwittingly let go a faltering, breathless moan. In my head, all I could think of was that Alex, who for all intents and purposes was a stranger to me, was touching my married pussy.
His wonderful fingers began to stroke my prize in just the right spot, making it clear that he knew exactly what he was doing, and causing my whole being to float in a dreamy state of bliss and pleasure. With my eyes closed and my small hands unknowingly clutching Alex's strong arm, I thought of Robbie, my good husband, at home alone. I could envision him sitting on the couch playing computer games or watching Netflix, completely unaware that all the while, on the abandoned floor of a parking garage, another guy was touching his wife's pussy and causing her to feel emotions her husband had never given her before. With Alex's expert stimulation, my arousal gushed from a hydrant I didn't control, and the obscenely thin fabric of my panties was totally soaked. But much of my arousal was from knowing that I am a married woman, and what I was doing was absolutely sinful. Once again, I thought of my good-boy husband patiently waiting for me at home while I enjoyed my new-found sexual freedom. I was indulging what I knew I deserved.
Alex pressed his miraculous finger deeper, spreading my shamefully engorged labia and zeroing in on my swollen and anxious clit. "Oh God," I thought, "I'm gonna cum." And there was nothing I could do to stop it. I opened my eyes, and with worry and humility, I stared into Alex's eyes. What was happening was wrong and dirty and unfaithful, and it was everything I wanted it to be. I was like I had entered a new, male-dominated world in which I was a most sought after delicacy, a dainty and delectable, married treat. As my body approached the very edge of orgasm, I vowed to learn to thrive in this new world.
Drunk on pleasure and staring into Alex's eyes, I unwittingly uttered words of praise.
"Oh, baby," I whispered like a woman in love, and with that, I began to drown in a blind, rolling, trembling orgasm. There was no parking garage, no Alex, no Robbie. There was only the rapture of overwhelming ecstasy, and just as I thought it might become too much, Alex's experienced finger backed off just enough to keep me immersed in the tumultuous storm. On and on I bathed in the delicious glory of illicit sex, until finally, I could take no more.
"Stop! Stop!" I begged, pulling his hand away. My eyes closed as I pulled in shaking breaths and tried to calm myself down. I heard Alex chuckle.
"Damn girl, you're a loud one!"
I thought I had managed not to made a sound.
(to be continued)
"I don't know," I shrugged. "Not my problem."
Travis fits with plenty of room, so I felt sure Alex would fit, too, and he did.
In the car, I sat facing him, kind of curled up in my seat. He turned and leaned my way, and our faces were close. We talked for a minute, and the suggestive tone got serious fast, but there were people around. We drove to a parking garage just a few blocks away and parked on the very top floor. It was completely empty of cars up there, and over the tree tops we could see the sun, very low in the sky, glowing red on the distant horizon.
We turned to face each other again, our faces painted in the red hue, and we stared into each other's eyes in an almost deafening silence. I was still smiling and giddy, but he had become more serious. He began to study my face, my lips, my cheeks, my nose, every single contour, and it stirred my heart. I felt like I was the most beautiful thing in the world to him. Then, his eyes returned to mine.
"Leah," he said, softly.
"Yes?"
"I would really like to kiss you."
"Will it count toward what I owe?"
Alex smiled, gently. "It would be the privilege of a lifetime for me."
"Oh, alright then," I said with a sigh, like it was a burden I must endure. "If that's what I have to do."
He nodded with sympathy.
"I'm afraid it is."
We kissed, at first softly, warmly, caressing, but then he cradled my head, pulled me in tighter, opened his mouth wider, and shoved his tongue deeper. He was trying to devour me. It was a demanding, ravenous kiss, and it was not something I had ever experienced before. Robbie has never kissed me like that. Travis has never kissed me like that. I have never felt so desired in my life, and it was making the prize between my legs very, very warm and tingly.
His demanding hand let go of my head, and it found its way to my thigh, curled up onto the seat. As we kissed, his hand made its way under my dress and began to slowly meander up my smoothly shaven thigh. He gently, almost reverently, touched my tingling pussy through my now wet panties, and I unwittingly let go a faltering, breathless moan. In my head, all I could think of was that Alex, who for all intents and purposes was a stranger to me, was touching my married pussy.
His wonderful fingers began to stroke my prize in just the right spot, making it clear that he knew exactly what he was doing, and causing my whole being to float in a dreamy state of bliss and pleasure. With my eyes closed and my small hands unknowingly clutching Alex's strong arm, I thought of Robbie, my good husband, at home alone. I could envision him sitting on the couch playing computer games or watching Netflix, completely unaware that all the while, on the abandoned floor of a parking garage, another guy was touching his wife's pussy and causing her to feel emotions her husband had never given her before. With Alex's expert stimulation, my arousal gushed from a hydrant I didn't control, and the obscenely thin fabric of my panties was totally soaked. But much of my arousal was from knowing that I am a married woman, and what I was doing was absolutely sinful. Once again, I thought of my good-boy husband patiently waiting for me at home while I enjoyed my new-found sexual freedom. I was indulging what I knew I deserved.
Alex pressed his miraculous finger deeper, spreading my shamefully engorged labia and zeroing in on my swollen and anxious clit. "Oh God," I thought, "I'm gonna cum." And there was nothing I could do to stop it. I opened my eyes, and with worry and humility, I stared into Alex's eyes. What was happening was wrong and dirty and unfaithful, and it was everything I wanted it to be. I was like I had entered a new, male-dominated world in which I was a most sought after delicacy, a dainty and delectable, married treat. As my body approached the very edge of orgasm, I vowed to learn to thrive in this new world.
Drunk on pleasure and staring into Alex's eyes, I unwittingly uttered words of praise.
"Oh, baby," I whispered like a woman in love, and with that, I began to drown in a blind, rolling, trembling orgasm. There was no parking garage, no Alex, no Robbie. There was only the rapture of overwhelming ecstasy, and just as I thought it might become too much, Alex's experienced finger backed off just enough to keep me immersed in the tumultuous storm. On and on I bathed in the delicious glory of illicit sex, until finally, I could take no more.
"Stop! Stop!" I begged, pulling his hand away. My eyes closed as I pulled in shaking breaths and tried to calm myself down. I heard Alex chuckle.
"Damn girl, you're a loud one!"
I thought I had managed not to made a sound.
(to be continued)
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This is so true. Even I know that.
Robbie would jerk off everyday if I let him. It's like once the urge hits him, his single-minded goal is to ejaculate. And once he does ejaculate, he loses all motivation to do anything. It's like for the next 30 minutes or so, he just wants to chill, all by himself. It is very noticeable in Robbie, because normally he is constantly going. So after we got married, I noticed that every weekend day, in the middle of the day, he would disappear into the bathroom for awhile and then emerge looking like Eeyore - tired, depressed, droopy ears, everything. He would go sit down on the couch and just sit, doing absolutely nothing. Drove me crazy. But we don't have that problem anymore.
I am so glad you wrote this! I didn't know. This has been a puzzle that has totally perplexed me. It kind of worried me a little, too, but it makes total sense!
You wrote, "She owns me mind and body." I have been afraid to use the word "own," and it took me a while to even think it to myself, but it has been abundantly clear that this is what Robbie wants. He even uses the word. In all honesty, it's what I want, too. Just the mere knowledge that I decide the "how-what-when-where-and if" of his activities, chores, pleasure, orgasms, and goals, keeps him so content and aroused (keeps me aroused, too!), that he has no interest in looking elsewhere. He once said something like, "You care for me by making me care for you." I'm pretty sure those were his exact words, but for us, this manner of living is a very, very powerful bond. We've never been as close to each other as we are now. And the constant buzz of arousal never stops! It's so wonderful!
Thank you for your comments!
I appreciate your kind words. I hope I am doing great. Honestly, I think I've just been lucky so far. I move in the direction that excites me and hope for the best, knowing that if I don't like the guy, nothing is going to happen anyway....i.e. Derek.
You know that feeling you get when your gut tells you you're right, but you're brain says, "I'm not so sure"? That's the way I felt when I first stated reading these forums two years ago. I knew, absolutely, that I was reading about my husband's desires, but my brain would not let me admit it to myself. Now I trust my gut.
By the way, Jack doesn't know that Robbie is a cuckold and neither does Travis, really. I don't let Travis see the full dynamic between Robbie and me, and so Travis doesn't "get it." He more sees Robbie as indifferent. He doesn't understand that the sex between him and me excites Robbie like crazy. He has no idea, even with all that has happened, but I've been mentally steering him away from it. I don't want Travis to know.
Alex is the only one who knows. He understands the whole thing. As odd as it might sound, it's kind of comforting.
SlutAddicted
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You are welcome!
I think that society's perspective on equality and fairness is often distorted in a way that makes it difficult for most people to understand these dynamics.
On the topic of equality society seems to have arrived at the notion that the "right" model is for both spouses to be equal in all aspects of the marriage including decision making. But not everyone wants that. It is often the case that one partner naturally assumes the leader role and the other naturally assumes the follower role. For them equality means that they are each eligible for either role and can sort that out among themselves rather than have roles assigned based upon gender (or some other objective criteria). I think that the female led relationship just takes the natural outcome of a couple where the female naturally leads and amps it up a bit for everyone's satisfaction and pleasure. I suspect that the more dominant you are the more satisfied both your and Robbie are.
On the topic of fairness guys tend to be selective as to whether we want equality of opportunity or equality of outcomes. In the case of consensual non-monogamy most guys see fairness as being defined by equal outcomes (because the alternative scares us), which is patently unfair to the woman because it requires that constraints be put upon her. If we actually embrace equal opportunities to pursue CNM we often end up with situations much like yours or mine (especially with men like Robbie or me). The wife easily establishes a stable of attentive lovers with whom she has engaging sexual relations that are good for her and her lovers. Meanwhile the husband struggles to get the occasional date and is fairly likely to end up disappointing her. Life isn't fair and engineering outcomes to make them equal isn't fair either.
If my friend and I both want to be basketball players but he is athletic and I am not we are not going to have equal outcomes. Maybe that is unfair in the way that life isn't fair, but neither is holding him back to make me feel better about myself. Any reasonable person would say that we have to each live our lives according to who we are and I have to accept that I am not a great basketball player. men have a harder time getting to this clarity of though in the context of sexual relations because we still cling to the patriarchy where we enjoyed unearned privileges. The hotwife and cuckold dynamic is in many ways simply two people who want a CNM dynamic accepting who they are and their place in the world without distortions.
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liqueur
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Although my one intentional journey into cuckoldry ended badly, I learned enough both from that experience and from other unplanned experiences that this all resonates very deeply for me.
Nor is this constant mental arousal limited to cuckoldry, I think. I'm alone these days, and given my age and my kinks, etc, it seems likely that I will stay that way. But if I ever were in a relationship again, I hope my partner would put me in a cock cage and then drive me crazy with teasing.
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policywank
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I think that we are so conditioned to see this type of situation as problematic that the conflict between the gut and brain is almost inevitable. But to the extent that it induces you to proceed with caution that is probably a good thing. Obviously the gut took over and put you on the right path.
Like you I generally go in the direction that excites me. I have an eye to what will excite my husband or avoiding things that might hurt him. But I know he loves it all anyway so I do prioritize what I want. Kind of like the way he enjoys being submissive, he enjoys my pleasure which gives me the latitude to be selfish in my sexual exploits. And the nice thing about being open sexually is that as long as I am safe and discrete I don't really perceive negative consequences the way many women do. Like you said if I don't like the guy I won't proceed. If we hook-up and things aren't going well I'll stop seeing him. Nothing is lost except maybe an hour of my time. I don't perceive that I have a finite number of opportunities and therefore must optimize each one. I often compare it to food. I like to sample. Lots. With that comes the reality that sometimes I will try a restaurant or a dish I don't like. So what? Just don't eat it or don't go back. No need to worry about avoiding that possibility.
The same applies to how much I share about the actual cuckold dynamics with my lovers in the sense that I go with the flow and my gut. It is comforting when they understand it. It makes me feel as though they accept me and my husband. It is fun to share a secret and brings me closer to that man. And it provides a way to maybe bring my husband into it - either literally if he participates with us or even just in spirit because we are all open about it. But there are other guys who I would not share that information with. There are no firm reasons why or why not. I think I just get a gut feeling about whether they can be accepting of the dynamics and whether I even want them to know. I think it is like any sort of secret or confidential information - why do I share it with this person but not that one? Lots of reasons but it is largely gut driven. From the way you have described described Travis, especially the immaturity, he would definitely be in the don't share category.
Given that I am discerning in who I share this information with, my cuckold finds it very exciting when I tell him what I shared with another man. It would not be that way if I just carelessly told every guy everything. Some guys are happy to have sex with a married women but just aren't equipped to deal with that stuff maturely.
SlutAddicted
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Yes, the constant state of arousal certainly isn't limited to cuckoldry. It just seems to be well suited to it because of the regular real life stimulation coupled with the prospect of ejaculation denial. Of course ejaculation denial is not exclusive to cuckolding, but it fits in there well.
I often forget about this very real aspect for Robbie.
He often makes comments about how much he would love to do Erin. But if Robbie ever got the chance, he would most likely ejaculate the moment he penetrated her. If not then, it would, literally, only take a few seconds of intercourse and he would fumble. The poor guy would be hugely embarrassed. I don't think he would ever go there, but then, I would never allow it anyway.
I hope you get that, liqueur.
I haven't thought to mention it out here until I read some of these recent posts, but our headlong dive into Travis was not smart. It only happened because Robbie and I were running on a sexual high that overwhelmed our brains. In that situation, my only gut feel was for this very sexually frustrated woman to hopefully, finally, get me some "pleasures of the flesh." And as you know, for the next few weeks, I was ravenous! The poor guy could hardly get a good night's sleep. It wasn't until Travis moved back home that I thought, "Oh God, what have we done?" Honestly, it scared me to death.
But it's not that Travis would treat Robbie in a bad way. He just talks too much and without thinking. You never know what is going to come out of Travis' mouth. The only saving grace we have is that Travis is known for telling tall tales. Robbie and I talked about it, and if Travis were to tell people back home that he had sex with Leah while Robbie was present, nobody would believe him. But him saying anything is highly unlikely. Travis would never intentionally smear our reputation.
Unless he's been drinking
