To older gentlemen who’ve connected with much younger women—what drew them to you?

[hrdmngd2find]

In real life, I have not chosen much younger women often. However, a few years ago when I was single, in between marriages, there was one lovely younger woman who reached out to me. She responded to a profile I had created on okcupid that mentioned D/s and had many of the sexual questions answered. This profile invited women to enjoy an FWB and explore submission.

It turned out she was a recent college graduate and was very intelligent and articulate. She was also unusually mature. Those are the things I liked.

As for what a younger woman likes? That women above said she was drawn to my dominance and the gentle way I had with her, how I got to know her and become friends in addition to playmates. She told me recently that our time together was very healing for her.

Other things that I hear from younger women about older men is the ease of submitting to someone who has succeeded in life, not necessarily with money, but just as a person. Dominance can come more naturally as a man acquires life experience and confidence. It's not true of everyone of course. Just because their biological age is higher, it doesn't happen automatically.

As for sex, I know I am much, much better lover than when I was in my 20s and 30s. I'm not talking about mere skills either, but that's part of it. Just a better understanding of how women are. For a young woman, or any woman, a big key is to be seen and appreciated, which is not as simple as it sounds. Being appreciated in this way by someone with substance and experience meets an important need. To get them. Hear them. Notice all the ways they are beautiful. It's not just words, it's how you act, including during sex. When I am sexual with a woman, part of the time, I'm soaking into me all that beauty that is being offered. A woman feels that inside. These encounters are deeper than just the acts of sex.

Confidence is a turn-on for virtually every woman. There is confidence which a younger man can project, but it's not the same as that acquired over time by the success I mention above- life success: persevering through hard times, becoming a better boss, raising good children to adulthood, etc. It is a million small things together.

There's more but I have to get going.

 

[cdstefi]

I’m a younger husband, and my wife happens to be strongly drawn to older men—something she’s open about. I’m trying to understand this better, not out of insecurity but with curiosity and love. For those of you who’ve had genuine connections with women much younger than you—what do you think it is that attracts them? Is it how you carry yourself? The way you listen? The calmness that comes with age?

Any insights would help me grow and be better for her, without trying to be someone I’m not.

My wife's 23 years younger. But in a lot of ways an older soul than me. Her emotional maturity and intellectual curiosity match mine, but what I think most attracts her is my mental stability and lack of neediness.

 

[ADIDAS00]

From talking with women and asking a younger woman who was hitting on me recently… think what it comes down to is this.

Older men are…
1. Safer and less threatening
2. more stable in their life
3. More confident in themselves and less worried about the current “new thing”
4. Not trying to get laid only
5. More focused on getting to know someone for who they are
6. Usually more financially stable
7. Experienced
8. Good listeners
9. Less cocky and more mature

Those are a few of the main things.

And a lot of younger women like the “daddy” type it seems

 

[Britva415]

It turns out, being a rope-bondage top attracts all sorts of people, but definitely not limited to my own age.

This is new, I've only learned about this proclivity of mine and learned to do it in the last several months.

The most surprising part about it is that people who connect with me over this, and want to play, are way way less flaky than people who express interest in vanilla dates. When bondage is not mentioned, only about 30% of people follow through with an actual meet-up. Sometimes without even a message to cancel. When bondage is mentioned, almost everyone who responds shows up, and even the ones who don't at least communicate about it.

 

[jonnoback]

It turns out, being a rope-bondage top attracts all sorts of people, but definitely not limited to my own age.

This is new, I've only learned about this proclivity of mine and learned to do it in the last several months.

The most surprising part about it is that people who connect with me over this, and want to play, are way way less flaky than people who express interest in vanilla dates. When bondage is not mentioned, only about 30% of people follow through with an actual meet-up. Sometimes without even a message to cancel. When bondage is mentioned, almost everyone who responds shows up, and even the ones who don't at least communicate about it.

So I need to learn some basic shibari

 

[Paradox]

I’m a younger husband, and my wife happens to be strongly drawn to older men—something she’s open about. I’m trying to understand this better, not out of insecurity but with curiosity and love. For those of you who’ve had genuine connections with women much younger than you—what do you think it is that attracts them? Is it how you carry yourself? The way you listen? The calmness that comes with age?

Any insights would help me grow and be better for her, without trying to be someone I’m not.

For the last 30 years, I've been one of those "older men" and have experienced genuine connections with some women much younger than me. A few have been more involved, but you asked about connection and my first thought was, I have no idea why they would be attracted to me. I'm a decent looking guy, but I've never known any women to swoon over me. I'm financially comfortable, but not rich. I'm definitely not suave and charismatic. Then I started thinking about each of those young women and saw a common thread -- they were all intelligent. That is what drew me to them, and maybe my attraction to and embracing of their intelligence attracted them to me. That's my best guess.

 

[nassauguy_2001]

From talking with women and asking a younger woman who was hitting on me recently… think what it comes down to is this.

Older men are…
1. Safer and less threatening
2. more stable in their life
3. More confident in themselves and less worried about the current “new thing”
4. Not trying to get laid only
5. More focused on getting to know someone for who they are
6. Usually more financially stable
7. Experienced
8. Good listeners
9. Less cocky and more mature

Those are a few of the main things.

And a lot of younger women like the “daddy” type it seems

Great post, and in my opinion 100% on point.

I went through a stage from 35-45 year old, recently divorced and not wanting another relationship. I "dated" several younger, always married ladies that I met on AFF. After many a tryst as we made pillow talk I would always inquire of them "why me?" ADIDASOO"s answer above was mentioned more times than I could count!!!

 

[Noor]

My girl friend considers me a safe outlet for her sexual needs since I am married.

Married men are only safe to a point, older married men are just as susceptible to falling in love and getting swept away as same age or younger men, maybe more so.

 

[Noor]

I think some older men are drawn to younger women because they don’t have the same expectations of maturity as younger men. It gives them a license to behave badly to someone who doesn’t have the experience to see through them and expect better. A fresh slate without the baggage acquired from dealing with as many men.

 

[Bigboobbabe]

I would think money is a big draw for younger women when it's comes to dating old men.

I can see this being in the opposite scenario. I am about to be 60. I love men 20-yrs younger than me.
I like taking care of them. If we are out together and something needs to be picked up, I pick it up and pay.

It probably is the same when the man is older.

 

[Rockymtnman]

Glad this popped back up. I have been talking to a member of my gym over the past few weeks. She is 27 years younger than I. She struck up the conversation as I work out with ear buds, do my thing and don’t talk to anyone beyond a nod or a wave.

She is extremely fit, my personal kryptonite as has been well documented, brown hair, 5’7 and probably 135lbs. Cute but not pretty. But her body is spectacular.

So I asked her at lunch last week, we haven’t done anything yet, why me? Clearly men in her age range would be interested.

She said three things in general, older men tend to know how to fuck better, have disposable income and she feels safer with older men.

Specifically about me was, I never once hit on her, she never caught me staring at her ( which she admitted kinda pissed her off) which younger men do and her words, not mine, I was the sexiest motherfucker in the gym.

 

[Smoothshavendad]

Glad this popped back up. I have been talking to a member of my gym over the past few weeks. She is 27 years younger than I. She struck up the conversation as I work out with ear buds, do my thing and don’t talk to anyone beyond a nod or a wave.

She is extremely fit, my personal kryptonite as has been well documented, brown hair, 5’7 and probably 135lbs. Cute but not pretty. But her body is spectacular.

So I asked her at lunch last week, we haven’t done anything yet, why me? Clearly men in her age range would be interested.

She said three things in general, older men tend to know how to fuck better, have disposable income and she feels safer with older men.

Specifically about me was, I never once hit on her, she never caught me staring at her ( which she admitted kinda pissed her off) which younger men do and her words, not mine, I was the sexiest motherfucker in the gym.

My man!!!

 

[ADIDAS00]

I can see this being in the opposite scenario. I am about to be 60. I love men 20-yrs younger than me.
I like taking care of them. If we are out together and something needs to be picked up, I pick it up and pay.

It probably is the same when the man is older.

I think you like the “taking care of someone” aspect. Older men seem to like to take of younger women as well. It’s a nurturing thing…I think

 

[live4thebj]

Older or younger I don’t care. They were all good. Moms know how to fuck and many of the young ones these days don’t have gag a reflex.

 

[lc69hunter]

I’m a younger husband, and my wife happens to be strongly drawn to older men—something she’s open about. I’m trying to understand this better, not out of insecurity but with curiosity and love. For those of you who’ve had genuine connections with women much younger than you—what do you think it is that attracts them? Is it how you carry yourself? The way you listen? The calmness that comes with age?

Any insights would help me grow and be better for her, without trying to be someone I’m not.

make them laugh, make them smile, conversation, be welcoming in your attitude. Listen to what they have to say. Many younger men do not do that, as they have not learned

 

[Noor]

Glad this popped back up. I have been talking to a member of my gym over the past few weeks. She is 27 years younger than I. She struck up the conversation as I work out with ear buds, do my thing and don’t talk to anyone beyond a nod or a wave.

She is extremely fit, my personal kryptonite as has been well documented, brown hair, 5’7 and probably 135lbs. Cute but not pretty. But her body is spectacular.

So I asked her at lunch last week, we haven’t done anything yet, why me? Clearly men in her age range would be interested.

She said three things in general, older men tend to know how to fuck better, have disposable income and she feels safer with older men.

Specifically about me was, I never once hit on her, she never caught me staring at her ( which she admitted kinda pissed her off) which younger men do and her words, not mine, I was the sexiest motherfucker in the gym.

I’d say they at least get better with their hands and tongue

 

[Britva415]

Glad this popped back up. I have been talking to a member of my gym over the past few weeks. She is 27 years younger than I. She struck up the conversation as I work out with ear buds, do my thing and don’t talk to anyone beyond a nod or a wave.

She is extremely fit, my personal kryptonite as has been well documented, brown hair, 5’7 and probably 135lbs. Cute but not pretty. But her body is spectacular.

So I asked her at lunch last week, we haven’t done anything yet, why me? Clearly men in her age range would be interested.

She said three things in general, older men tend to know how to fuck better, have disposable income and she feels safer with older men.

Specifically about me was, I never once hit on her, she never caught me staring at her ( which she admitted kinda pissed her off) which younger men do and her words, not mine, I was the sexiest motherfucker in the gym.

I guess she must have come on to you at some point? How did you wind up out to lunch with her?

 

[Rockymtnman]

I guess she must have come on to you at some point? How did you wind up out to lunch with her?

Yeah, she was leaving when I was coming in and I held the door for her. She said thanks and I said you’re welcome. She quipped, oh it speaks. I said I can, yes and kept on going. Next time we were at the gym at the same time she came up and said she felt kinda dickish for what she said and I said no problem and we introduced ourselves. Talked for maybe 2-3 minutes and went about our workouts. I swear she timed her workout to end when mine did and she walked out with me. She is quite forward and asked me how married am I. I said depends. Talked a little more and decided on lunch. I am not usually into single women as they don’t have anything to lose. So taking my time and vetting her a bit. Don’t need any crazy in my life. so far she seems fine. We shall see.

 

[Rockymtnman]

I’d say they at least get better with their hands and tongue

Probably true for the majority of men as they age. Get a case of the floppy dick due to over eating, over drinking and general lack of exercise.

 

[Rockymtnman]

I think some older men are drawn to younger women because they don’t have the same expectations of maturity as younger men. It gives them a license to behave badly to someone who doesn’t have the experience to see through them and expect better. A fresh slate without the baggage acquired from dealing with as many men.

You just nailed a couple of my friends! My age and are still children.

 

[Noor]

Probably true for the majority of men as they age. Get a case of the floppy dick due to over eating, over drinking and general lack of exercise.

Men’s testerone drops as they age, maybe some drops too low?

 

[Rockymtnman]

Men’s testerone drops as they age, maybe some drops too low?

Men’s testerone drops as they age, maybe some drops too low?

That is true but I think the larger factor is poor health. I’m 56 and imagine what most men at my age look like… overweight, out of shape and lazy. I just had my yearly check up and my testosterone is in the higher range of normal for my age but still in what should be expected and I have no erection issues whatsoever. Difference is I eat well, rarely drink, work out and stay active. it’s not magic or genetics it’s hard work and discipline. Something, sorely lacking amongst men my age.

 

[CLK5002005]

That is true but I think the larger factor is poor health. I’m 56 and imagine what most men at my age look like… overweight, out of shape and lazy. I just had my yearly check up and my testosterone is in the higher range of normal for my age but still in what should be expected and I have no erection issues whatsoever. Difference is I eat well, rarely drink, work out and stay active. it’s not magic or genetics it’s hard work and discipline. Something, sorely lacking amongst men my age.

I agree with everything you said. I’m 58 and don’t look my age. Most think I’m late 40’s. I’m active, travel a lot and never adopted a sedentary lifestyle as I’ve gotten older.

Everyone can say what they want and cast as many stones as they like, but there’s an appeal here to more younger women than some people think.

 

[Noor]

That is true but I think the larger factor is poor health. I’m 56 and imagine what most men at my age look like… overweight, out of shape and lazy. I just had my yearly check up and my testosterone is in the higher range of normal for my age but still in what should be expected and I have no erection issues whatsoever. Difference is I eat well, rarely drink, work out and stay active. it’s not magic or genetics it’s hard work and discipline. Something, sorely lacking amongst men my age.

56 is hardly old, tell me me when you’re 75 or later. I know men who are in great shape, but sexuallly things slow down.

 

[Noor]

I agree with everything you said. I’m 58 and don’t look my age. Most think I’m late 40’s. I’m active, travel a lot and never adopted a sedentary lifestyle as I’ve gotten older.

Everyone can say what they want and cast as many stones as they like, but there’s an appeal here to more younger women than some people think.

I never saw any appeal to guys who were my parents age or older at any age. I also don’t feel any attraction younger enough to be my child.