A Beginner's Introduction to DD/lg

[kyblue12]

Now that I am feeling more like myself, I think its time to start a project I have been thinking about for a couple weeks.

I recently was helped to make a discovery about myself through a short-lived exchange here at lit. I allowed myself to let a couple bad experiences with friends who had become involved in BDSM relationships to close me off to it and become kinda hostile to it.

Through my brief exchange I allowed myself to become more open to exploring BDSM and discovering its much more than a simple monolithic lifestyle. I allowed myself to start doing a bit of research into it and discovered the variety of things that make up BDSM. While I can’t say I can wrap my head around all of it, I discovered an affinity for and interest in DD/lg relationships. I hadn’t allowed myself to discover this about myself because I was too wrapped up in the idea of “BDSM Bad”.

The addition of the focus on the care and nurturing of the little is an incredible thing to me. It’s that addition to the earned submission that lets me understand this area and makes me want to take part.



What made my first experience a short lived one was a lack of experience on my part. The purpose of this thread is going to be to allow you to join me as I work on learning more. I plan on posting a topic every 2-3 weeks, giving my thoughts and what I have learned about it. I’d also like to have an experienced little or Daddy help by giving their insight as well. I’ll also be combing Lit for links to posts and threads that are on topic as well. The topic will be open for discussion. I am hoping that my journey will allow us to build a kind of starting point and collection of information for those interested in or considering becoming involved in DD/lg.



I’ve already picked my first topic, Consent…. Its something I feel is important in any relationship, vanilla or kinky, and something that seems often overlooked here at Lit. I am still gathering information, but hope to have the post up soon, I do however need a guest commentator for this first post. If you are interested let me know and we can discuss….

Hope to see all of you here soon!!

 

[barefootgirl69]

I'm glad you started this and look forward to seeing what you and others post!

 

[AG31]

Now that I am feeling more like myself, I think its time to start a project I have been thinking about for a couple weeks.

I recently was helped to make a discovery about myself through a short-lived exchange here at lit. I allowed myself to let a couple bad experiences with friends who had become involved in BDSM relationships to close me off to it and become kinda hostile to it.

Through my brief exchange I allowed myself to become more open to exploring BDSM and discovering its much more than a simple monolithic lifestyle. I allowed myself to start doing a bit of research into it and discovered the variety of things that make up BDSM. While I can’t say I can wrap my head around all of it, I discovered an affinity for and interest in DD/lg relationships. I hadn’t allowed myself to discover this about myself because I was too wrapped up in the idea of “BDSM Bad”.

The addition of the focus on the care and nurturing of the little is an incredible thing to me. It’s that addition to the earned submission that lets me understand this area and makes me want to take part.



What made my first experience a short lived one was a lack of experience on my part. The purpose of this thread is going to be to allow you to join me as I work on learning more. I plan on posting a topic every 2-3 weeks, giving my thoughts and what I have learned about it. I’d also like to have an experienced little or Daddy help by giving their insight as well. I’ll also be combing Lit for links to posts and threads that are on topic as well. The topic will be open for discussion. I am hoping that my journey will allow us to build a kind of starting point and collection of information for those interested in or considering becoming involved in DD/lg.



I’ve already picked my first topic, Consent…. Its something I feel is important in any relationship, vanilla or kinky, and something that seems often overlooked here at Lit. I am still gathering information, but hope to have the post up soon, I do however need a guest commentator for this first post. If you are interested let me know and we can discuss….

Hope to see all of you here soon!!

I don't think of myself as being completely uneducated in BDSM acronyms, but what is DD/lg? Daddy something /little girl?

 

[filthytrancendence]

I don't think of myself as being completely uneducated in BDSM acronyms, but what is DD/lg? Daddy something /little girl?

Daddy Dom / little girl

 

[Littlewolf8258]

A great thread idea, and looking forward to seeing what it becomes

 

[FrenchLopBunny]

This could get interesting! Hope it works out well.

 

[BiBunny]

I'm interested.

 

[FrenchLopBunny]

@kyblue12, you may want to include the BDSM library in your journey of self-discovery

 

[BBWcum_slut75]

I love this this thread. I am currently exploring with a new online Daddy met on lit and we have an insane connection. The one most important thing we’ve learned so far is that we can both be honest with each other. Otherwise there’s no point is there? It’s a wonderful exploration so far and it’s getting hotter and hotter… he gives me tasks sometimes sexual sometimes not, sometimes to write for him, sometimes to look after myself with a hot bath - he rewards me with orgasms - we’re working towards him controlling all my orgasms. I am plugged for him at all times. He is sooooo incredibly hot and he makes me soooo wet.

 

[BBWSugarKitty]

Thank you for sharing your journey and knowledge. Bookmarking this as I am also interested

 

[kyblue12]

Just a quick update for everyone… the past couple weeks we have been dealing with a family health emergency that requires a 5 hour drive Friday night and Sunday. It’s slowed my work quite a bit, but I am hoping to have the first discussion post soon. In the meantime I think I may do a post with some informational links like @FrenchLopBunny suggested above. If you have a good informational link please get it to me.

 

[FrenchLopBunny]

My thoughts are with you and your family

 

[kyblue12]

Thank You @FrenchLopBunny..... There is rapid improvement happening, but there's an extremely long road ahead, so its one day at a time....

 

[kyblue12]

A Post for Links

As time goes by I will add some informative links to this post as well as a listing of who provided it. Of course, if any of these links go against site policies they will be removed as quickly as I can get to them (provided a mod doesn't nuke them first...).

The BDSM Library as suggested by @FrenchLopBunny

The Following Threads exist as safe spaces for littles here at Lit. They also have a lot of amazing information and a great community.
Daddy's Little Girl 1 created by @barefootgirl69
Daddy's Little Girl 2 same as above
Daddy's Little Girl 3 also as above
Daddy's Little Girl 4 even more from above.

A question thread with some good responses, originally posted by @Liberia
Newbie Has Some Questions/Am I a Sub?

 

[BiBunny]

Thank You @FrenchLopBunny..... There is rapid improvement happening, but there's an extremely long road ahead, so its one day at a time....

I'm glad to hear that. I'll send good vibes to you and your family.

 

[kyblue12]

Thank you as well @BiBunny!!!!

 

[Littlewolf8258]

It’s nice to have links to some of these resources all in one place. Thanks

 

[kyblue12]

Hey everyone!!! I think my first discussion post should be ready soon, I still need a guest writer though…. If someone is interested in writing a paragraph or two on consent in DD/lg relationships I’d love to hear from you. I’m hoping to be able to give more than just my thoughts in each discussion post….

 

[kyblue12]

Topic 1: Consent



My thoughts….

Consent is central to any D/s relationship, DD/lg or the D/s relationship most people think of. For us in DD/lg the little gives consent for their Daddy to take his position as their Dom, similarly the Daddy also gives consent to being in a position of not only dominating his little, but also providing the caring atmosphere that defines what we are doing. Similarly, as the relationship develops consent again comes into play as boundaries are established and rule and routines set up. Consent is given for what happens on the acceptable side of a boundary and consent is absent for anything beyond that line. Similarly, consent is given for what rules and routines arrest up in the relationship and also given for what may happen if these rules are not followed.

Its consent that creates the relationship between Daddy and little. Its consent that allows that relationship to grow.

A few links to posts in some threads that I think help illustrate the idea:

https://forum.literotica.com/threads/newbie-has-some-questions-am-i-a-sub.1634754/ post #15 @barefootgirl69

https://forum.literotica.com/threads/what-are-red-flags-in-a-potential-bdsm-partner.1635700/ Thread by @Dhabidommetrix

https://forum.literotica.com/threads/bdsm-discussion-dos-and-donts.1510418/page-2 Post #27 by @Moochienanu

https://forum.literotica.com/thread...scussion-thread.1482371/page-56#post-90507689 Post #1391 by @barefootgirl69

https://forum.literotica.com/thread...ant-to-know-discussion-thread.1482371/page-72 Post #1778 by @DeepGreenEyes


Please.... jump in with your ideas!!! Let me know what you think, let me know what I am not seeing correctly.... I want to hear from everyone.

 

[BiBunny]

I just have an anecdote to add.

I met a guy on CollarSpace several years ago. He said he was a dom. Ok, fine. He took me out on a date, and after dinner, we ended up at a park where he tried to initiate a make-out session.

If you know me, you know I'm not about that life. I don't like PDA, and I don't like kissing with tongue. I can tolerate it and maybe even enjoy it a little if I like you a lot, and you're good at it. But I wasn't feeling this guy that much, and his first attempts were like being slapped in the face with a wet fish. So I tried to diplomatically say that I'm not much into kissing. His reply was basically that we were going to do it, anyway. Ok, weird flex, but whatever. I'll do it if it'll shut you up. I had to discreetly gag a few times, but I got through it.

Cut to a few weeks later. We're having sex. We've had no conversations about safewords or D/s at all, actually. He tries to put his dick in my ass. Now, I'm not a huge anal fan at the best of times, and him trying to stuff it in there dry was a no-go for me. So I looked back over my shoulder and said, "No."

I'll be damned if this motherfucker didn't keep trying. I had to say no repeatedly. And honestly, I had already drawn back and was about to punch him in the mouth when he finally stopped trying.

He said later that he didn't stop when I said no the first time because he thought I was "just playing." Why would I play like that if we haven't established a safeword yet, dipshit?

I ended up never speaking to him again after that. He tried relentlessly for weeks to get me to answer, but I felt like if he couldn't grasp that no means no, there was no point in trying to explain what the problem was.

I tell you that story to say: If a person--dom, sub, or whatever--doesn't take your first no--i.e., the one about kissing--seriously, they won't take any subsequent no's--i.e., the anal one--seriously, either. So bounce as soon as the first one is dismissed because it won't get any better.

 

[kyblue12]

I just have an anecdote to add.

I met a guy on CollarSpace several years ago. He said he was a dom. Ok, fine. He took me out on a date, and after dinner, we ended up at a park where he tried to initiate a make-out session.

If you know me, you know I'm not about that life. I don't like PDA, and I don't like kissing with tongue. I can tolerate it and maybe even enjoy it a little if I like you a lot, and you're good at it. But I wasn't feeling this guy that much, and his first attempts were like being slapped in the face with a wet fish. So I tried to diplomatically say that I'm not much into kissing. His reply was basically that we were going to do it, anyway. Ok, weird flex, but whatever. I'll do it if it'll shut you up. I had to discreetly gag a few times, but I got through it.

Cut to a few weeks later. We're having sex. We've had no conversations about safewords or D/s at all, actually. He tries to put his dick in my ass. Now, I'm not a huge anal fan at the best of times, and him trying to stuff it in there dry was a no-go for me. So I looked back over my shoulder and said, "No."

I'll be damned if this motherfucker didn't keep trying. I had to say no repeatedly. And honestly, I had already drawn back and was about to punch him in the mouth when he finally stopped trying.

He said later that he didn't stop when I said no the first time because he thought I was "just playing." Why would I play like that if we haven't established a safeword yet, dipshit?

I ended up never speaking to him again after that. He tried relentlessly for weeks to get me to answer, but I felt like if he couldn't grasp that no means no, there was no point in trying to explain what the problem was.

I tell you that story to say: If a person--dom, sub, or whatever--doesn't take your first no--i.e., the one about kissing--seriously, they won't take any subsequent no's--i.e., the anal one--seriously, either. So bounce as soon as the first one is dismissed because it won't get any better.

I can't either like or post an angry emoji on that on @BiBunny . The information is spot on, the story is infuriating. I'm glad you shared it though, its a perfect example to me of a red flag and how to handle it. It wasn't a minor slip up, you said no, he kept going. He needed to be kicked to the curb. And I also know that based on his actions he was never going to respect a yes or no from you. To him being a Dom was simply taking what he wanted no matter what.

 

[barefootgirl69]

To him being a Dom was simply taking what he wanted no matter what.

I wouldn't even honor him with that term.

 

[kyblue12]

I wouldn't even honor him with that term.

Not intending to call him one...... just stating what I think was going on in his head..... I shouldn't have capitalized.

 

[Jw75766]

I just have an anecdote to add.

I met a guy on CollarSpace several years ago. He said he was a dom. Ok, fine. He took me out on a date, and after dinner, we ended up at a park where he tried to initiate a make-out session.

If you know me, you know I'm not about that life. I don't like PDA, and I don't like kissing with tongue. I can tolerate it and maybe even enjoy it a little if I like you a lot, and you're good at it. But I wasn't feeling this guy that much, and his first attempts were like being slapped in the face with a wet fish. So I tried to diplomatically say that I'm not much into kissing. His reply was basically that we were going to do it, anyway. Ok, weird flex, but whatever. I'll do it if it'll shut you up. I had to discreetly gag a few times, but I got through it.

Cut to a few weeks later. We're having sex. We've had no conversations about safewords or D/s at all, actually. He tries to put his dick in my ass. Now, I'm not a huge anal fan at the best of times, and him trying to stuff it in there dry was a no-go for me. So I looked back over my shoulder and said, "No."

I'll be damned if this motherfucker didn't keep trying. I had to say no repeatedly. And honestly, I had already drawn back and was about to punch him in the mouth when he finally stopped trying.

He said later that he didn't stop when I said no the first time because he thought I was "just playing." Why would I play like that if we haven't established a safeword yet, dipshit?

I ended up never speaking to him again after that. He tried relentlessly for weeks to get me to answer, but I felt like if he couldn't grasp that no means no, there was no point in trying to explain what the problem was.

I tell you that story to say: If a person--dom, sub, or whatever--doesn't take your first no--i.e., the one about kissing--seriously, they won't take any subsequent no's--i.e., the anal one--seriously, either. So bounce as soon as the first one is dismissed because it won't get any better.

Respect for one another is the basic key component every relationship should have, without that, it's not really a relationship in my opinion. That guy obviously didn't respect you.

 

[FrenchLopBunny]

Consent, once given, can be withdrawn at any time, for any reason. It is advisable to discuss consent, rules, boundaries, etc. routinely even in mature relationships, and especially in new relationships.

When we started, we sat down weekly for dedicated time to discuss our relationship. Now that my one year “collar-versary” is approaching, we are still checking in once a month.