Bunny's Stuffie Corner

[BiBunny]

It’s always a good reminder they none of us are one thing.

Yep, this is definitely true!

I've been thinking about it, and the conclusion that I came to is it's the difference between wanting to be controlled and wanting to serve.

I don't really like to be controlled so much. Obviously, there's some amount of control in play, but I like a fairly long leash. I used to love to do things like do my exes' laundry, bathe them in the shower, and massage their feet. Things like orgasm control and being told how to dress and wearing a plug while doing chores? Not so much.

I enjoy service. But I want enough freedom to accomplish whatever service that's assigned to me in my own way. Let me love my Daddy. Let me take care of him. Let me make his life easier. Let me make him a god among men.

Of course, I've told him this, too, and gotten nothing, so maybe this approach is not appreciated by dominants.

 

[Purple_Fronds]

I think it’s a different side of the same coin, there’s lots of different ways to be dominant, it might not be his thing but doesn’t mean it wouldn’t be somebody else’s. The fact is that being a sub whose focus is on service but is independent can be a relieve to somebody that enjoys the control and the care for their sub but enjoys somebody who has a sense of themselves.

 

[BiBunny]

I think it’s a different side of the same coin, there’s lots of different ways to be dominant, it might not be his thing but doesn’t mean it wouldn’t be somebody else’s. The fact is that being a sub whose focus is on service but is independent can be a relieve to somebody that enjoys the control and the care for their sub but enjoys somebody who has a sense of themselves.

I keep thinking about this and wondering if it'd make a good thread on its own.

 

[BiBunny]

Do y'all ever feel...not exactly depressed, but a sort of low-level blah that seems to sap your energy and make everything suck? Hell, maybe that is depression. I'm so used to living with the severe shit that it has to be really bad most of the time before I even notice it.

I need a lot of money, but I don't feel up to working. I'm forcing myself to do it, anyway, but these dudes can tell, I think. I keep getting a lot of hang-ups a few minutes in. Sigh.

 

[NuclearFairy]

This is nothing unusual. It happens every night when I start getting sleepy. I'm just sad that I don't have a stuffie that's a good size and shape for cuddling with in bed. Mine are all either too big, too little, or too oddly-shaped.

If I don't have something in my arms when I sleep I get some of the worst shoulder pain when waking. Which gives me the perfect excuse to ask for those seasonal teddy bears that Walmart sells. They're the perfect size and shape for me.

Do y'all ever feel...not exactly depressed, but a sort of low-level blah that seems to sap your energy and make everything suck? Hell, maybe that is depression. I'm so used to living with the severe shit that it has to be really bad most of the time before I even notice it.

Yeah, I get that from time to time. I think it is technically depression, or maybe it's the start of apathy. Not sure, but I find that finding someone to talk with or doing something creative usually helps.

 

[Boat1]

Do y'all ever feel...not exactly depressed, but a sort of low-level blah that seems to sap your energy and make everything suck? Hell, maybe that is depression. I'm so used to living with the severe shit that it has to be really bad most of the time before I even notice it.

I need a lot of money, but I don't feel up to working. I'm forcing myself to do it, anyway, but these dudes can tell, I think. I keep getting a lot of hang-ups a few minutes in. Sigh.

Hi Bunny,
Sorry to hear that you're feeling down.

I'll share this one with you. I worked for a boat company in a lot of "high profile" shit... great coworkers, but a psychopathic CEO. It's the most hostile work environment I've ever had, ALL of which came from the "top down."
In 7 years (on the same boat) I had 14 different Vessel Managers, if that tells you anything.
(That's the background, now, to the point)
I was suffering what I called "burnout" to the extreme.
I walked and took a 9 month sabbatical.
3 months into it, my (then wife) said "Don't you think it's about time you start looking for another boat job?"

I replied to her that "Any Personnel Manager, worth his weight in salt, would be able to taste the burnout on me, from across the desk."
Thus, my answer to you, is yes... it's absolutely detectable when one is in a "down frame of mind."

I hope and pray that it gets better for you soon!

 

[BiBunny]

If I don't have something in my arms when I sleep I get some of the worst shoulder pain when waking. Which gives me the perfect excuse to ask for those seasonal teddy bears that Walmart sells. They're the perfect size and shape for me.

Yeah, I get that from time to time. I think it is technically depression, or maybe it's the start of apathy. Not sure, but I find that finding someone to talk with or doing something creative usually helps.

Wow, that's interesting about holding stuffies making your shoulders feel better when you sleep. I'm gonna have to get one that's shaped better and try that myself!

I actually have a therapist appointment Wednesday. Maybe that'll make things a bit better.

Hi Bunny,
Sorry to hear that you're feeling down.

I'll share this one with you. I worked for a boat company in a lot of "high profile" shit... great coworkers, but a psychopathic CEO. It's the most hostile work environment I've ever had, ALL of which came from the "top down."
In 7 years (on the same boat) I had 14 different Vessel Managers, if that tells you anything.
(That's the background, now, to the point)
I was suffering what I called "burnout" to the extreme.
I walked and took a 9 month sabbatical.
3 months into it, my (then wife) said "Don't you think it's about time you start looking for another boat job?"

I replied to her that "Any Personnel Manager, worth his weight in salt, would be able to taste the burnout on my, from across the desk."
Thus, my answer to you, is yes... it's absolutely detectable when one is in a "down frame of mind."

I hope and pray that it gets better for you soon!

Thank you so much! I hope so, too.

I'm glad you're away from that extremely toxic situation!

 

[NuclearFairy]

Wow, that's interesting about holding stuffies making your shoulders feel better when you sleep. I'm gonna have to get one that's shaped better and try that myself!

I actually have a therapist appointment Wednesday. Maybe that'll make things a bit better.

Good luck!

I'll cross my fingers that it helps.

 

[BiBunny]

Had my first therapy appointment today. We talked about my tendency toward self-sabotage and things I can do to combat it. The therapist also made me an appointment with the psych nurse practitioner to tinker with my meds a bit. I'm thinking I'm going to ask her what she thinks about adding a low dose of lithium to my current med cocktail when I talk to her on July 8th.

Therapist wants me to start journaling. I said I would, but I have no idea what to even journal about. My life is fairly uneventful.

 

[NuclearFairy]

Had my first therapy appointment today. We talked about my tendency toward self-sabotage and things I can do to combat it. The therapist also made me an appointment with the psych nurse practitioner to tinker with my meds a bit. I'm thinking I'm going to ask her what she thinks about adding a low dose of lithium to my current med cocktail when I talk to her on July 8th.

Therapist wants me to start journaling. I said I would, but I have no idea what to even journal about. My life is fairly uneventful.

You could try stream of consciousness journaling?

btw, what's Lithium good for?

 

[BiBunny]

You could try stream of consciousness journaling?

btw, what's Lithium good for?

Bipolar.

It is technically good for both depression and mania, but I think it's also sometimes given off-label to people with treatment-resistant depression, too. I mostly just struggle with depression nowadays, so that would be what I'd hope it'd help me with.

 

[Boat1]

Bipolar.

It is technically good for both depression and mania, but I think it's also sometimes given off-label to people with treatment-resistant depression, too. I mostly just struggle with depression nowadays, so that would be what I'd hope it'd help me with.

I know this may sound like silly BS, as how could something soooo simple, could ever be effective... but the Dr. Weil, 4-7-8 Breathing Technique is something I'd LOVE for you to master... I've used it for years to "cheat" the House of Pain physicals that I'm required to do for my employment.
Anything that can pull my vitals down, to better than those of an 18 year old is a powerful tool.
I'll find you a link...

 

[Boat1]

Found it...

https://www.drweil.com/videos-features/videos/breathing-exercises-4-7-8-breath/

 

[BiBunny]

Found it...

https://www.drweil.com/videos-features/videos/breathing-exercises-4-7-8-breath/

Thank you! Going to use this from now on!

Also, I don't think it's silly. I'm a Hindu; I know about the power of breathwork.

 

[Boat1]

You're quite welcome!
It amazes me how effective it is, once you take the time to really get used to doing it!

 

[FrenchLopBunny]

Therapist wants me to start journaling. I said I would, but I have no idea what to even journal about. My life is fairly uneventful.

Journaling doesn’t have to be limited to events. You can document your thoughts, your dreams (day dreams too), even something you see as you go about your day.

 

[BiBunny]

I finally talked to Daddy today.

He's in a depression hole. He said the doctors gave him three antidepressants recently. I hope like hell they have him on a mood stabilizer, too, or that's gonna blow up badly.

He has cancer, diabetes, an immunodeficiency, hemochromatosis, neuropathy, degenerative disc disease in his back, bone spurs, gout, high blood pressure, and God knows what else.

He says he's been overwhelmed with his health problems, hardly talks to anyone, and doesn't want to get out of bed. I asked him if he had a therapist currently. He claims to be looking for one.

I am sympathetic. I really am. I feel bad for him and told him I'm here for him for as long as he needs me, and he's going to have to run me off if he wants to get rid of me. But I really wish he didn't just default to neglecting me all the time. Or I wish he'd let me help him.

 

[BiBunny]

And of course, I feel guilty for being selfish when he's got all this shit going on.

 

[NuclearFairy]

And of course, I feel guilty for being selfish when he's got all this shit going on.

It's not selfish to want to be there for a loved one.

 

[Boat1]

And of course, I feel guilty for being selfish when he's got all this shit going on.

You've got NOTHING to feel guilty about!

 

[BiBunny]

It's not selfish to want to be there for a loved one.

You've got NOTHING to feel guilty about!

Thank y'all. I really appreciate it.

 

[Boat1]

Thank y'all. I really appreciate it.

You're quite welcome.
I'll expand on the topic, from my own personal experience.
The Alpha type, or the hunter (of any species) is very likely to withdraw, or hide while sick and weak, as they feel vulnerable.
I remember leaving my own house and family, to check into a cheap hotel after a rough surgery, for that exact reason.
Hence, IMHO, you shouldn't take it personally!... I was kinda like that old, sick cat that'll go hide in the barn to die.

 

[BiBunny]

You're quite welcome.
I'll expand on the topic, from my own personal experience.
The Alpha type, or the hunter (of any species) is very likely to withdraw, or hide while sick and weak, as they feel vulnerable.
I remember leaving my own house and family, to check into a cheap hotel after a rough surgery, for that exact reason.
Hence, IMHO, you shouldn't take it personally!... I was kinda like that old, sick cat that'll go hide in the barn to die.

Yeah, that's what he does, all right! Only problem is, the fucker never wants to come back out again, lol.

 

[NuclearFairy]

As a teenager, I had a cat that would get like that sometimes. I usually lured her out with catnip so I could take care of her.

 

[BiBunny]

I get so tired of not being able to upload pics from my phone on Lit because they're too big. It's more trouble than it's worth to go download them from my Google Photos onto my computer, then upload them here.

Anyway, I'm bitching about this because I wanted to show y'all my plants, but Lit is whining about the size of the photo.