Cock Talk

[Mei5ter]

To consume or be consumed
(NSFW link)
Let’s look inwards, shall we? ​

When do you feel most ravenous - for touch, for attention, for power? Do you feed that hunger, or do you starve it?

What part of your desire do you keep hidden because it feels too intense, too much, too… consuming?

Who brings out the version of you that bites back, that claws for more? What is it about them that just makes you crave being swallowed whole?

Isn’t it funny how we act surprised by desire when we’re already covered in the aftermath? What would it take for you to finally fess up and get what you want - or have you already?

@hotwords229_A I figured you wouldn’t mind

I'm not sure I have entirely understood all this, but the version of desire which you describe here is very different from what I feel. Certainly now, and probably throughout my life.

Desire, passion, feeling ravenous...yes. But they aren't abstracts. They're specific to people and situations. That's what makes them desirable. Otherwise, they aren't just not desirable but can be actively negative. To give an easy example, I love attention just as much as the next person who has sufficient of an inner diva that she has her own nickname. But I also know the misery that comes when I have to settle for a few cheap, random shots of dopamine instead of the good stuff. It's why, when some friends suddenly post sexy pics all over Lit, I see it as a warning sign and time to check they're okay.

And for sexual desire and touch, it's similar. Those feelings come out, in all their fullness and strength, when they have the right person to connect with. If I don't have that person, they don't come out in the same way, and maybe that's why I don't then feel the ache of missing them as keenly as you describe,. But above all, I have learned that I don't crave someone to give me attention, touch, power or whatever. If it isn't right, I'm better off without.

One of my favourite authors described “that time of life when a man can draw an Epicurean enjoyment even from his own passions - the halcyon period between the self-tormenting exuberance of youth and the fretful carpe diem of approaching senility." I'd say that pretty much sums it up for me, although it's such a good quotation that I'd post it even if it didn't. But our passions, of whatever kind, are transformed by being shared with someone who feels as you do, and lessened and debased and cheapened by being shared with people who don't.

 

[Apisto42]

Practice is the fun part. You just need two people who understand that they have no understanding of each other, but they’re both trying.

Trust, patience, open conversation, and plenty of oral makes for a great relationship.

If only any of us had those things.

That’s really all I need to have a great relationship.

And a good taco every once in a while.

Speaking of which, a new place opened up near me recently that has fabulous tacos and the best pupusas I’ve ever had.

 

[lavendersilk]

When do you feel most ravenous - for touch, for attention, for power? Do you feed that hunger, or do you starve it?

Getting off is easy, so I don't make myself wait very long. I have a lot of amazing friends, some I've been with for a few years. They never say no, and get me there fast.

I've been known to seek out physical touch with mixed results. What I desire is a soul mate. If I had one, I would be honest with them about my wants and needs, expecting the same of them. Communication is sexy af.

What part of your desire do you keep hidden because it feels too intense, too much, too… consuming?

I do have a few hidden desires that I choose to share when I trust someone. I'm not embarrassed by them, I just know when to hold them... know when to fold them... know when to walk away... and know when to run.

Who brings out the version of you that bites back, that claws for more? What is it about them that just makes you crave being swallowed whole?

I've experienced this with two people in my life, both of which I felt very comfortable with. That is the key for me. Comfort and safety.

Isn’t it funny how we act surprised by desire when we’re already covered in the aftermath? What would it take for you to finally fess up and get what you want - or have you already?

I'm not surprised, usually. There have been times when I've thought, wow... my clothes came off really fast...

I have expressed my desires with good results... but it is hard to find someone who not only wants to fulfill your desires, but also wants you to stick around.

 

[Love_Is_Blonde]

To consume or be consumed
(NSFW link)
Let’s look inwards, shall we? ​

When do you feel most ravenous - for touch, for attention, for power? Do you feed that hunger, or do you starve it?

I’m answering these without having read through all of these other answers yet so I may be going off topic totally - I feel ravenous for attention when I am feeling insecure or tired or overwhelmed. I need to feed that hunger. Many times it’s right when I get home from work and I’m so fucking done with everything and everyone. Or if I’m feeling like I haven’t gotten time with my person. Or if I feel like I’m misunderstood or excluded. All of those times, I feel hungry for attention and touch.

There are positive times too. I want attention when I’m feeling like everything is aligning and falling into place. When I’m feeling sexy or especially witty or I’m vibing with those around me. I crave time with people I adore and admire , and again, I feed that hunger.

What part of your desire do you keep hidden because it feels too intense, too much, too… consuming?

Letting go is consuming. Giving away power is scary and I don’t do it well at all. Because what if..? But being that loved and relaxed and able to trust so much, to be able to freefall and know that I will be caught—that is something that (rightly so) is so intense.

Who brings out the version of you that bites back, that claws for more? What is it about them that just makes you crave being swallowed whole?

A foundation of friendship over a long period of time. My logic kicks in and even though I’m a very emotional person, I can’t open up to anyone that I don’t know well. Trust takes a long time for me. Just the way I’m built.

Isn’t it funny how we act surprised by desire when we’re already covered in the aftermath? What would it take for you to finally fess up and get what you want - or have you already?

I’m not sure I understand the question. I’m a bull in a china shop when it comes to saying what I want. I am terrible at hiding what I want. If am awful at being coy. I can’t stand playing games. I’m direct and I hate it when people fuck with my head and my feelings. I don’t want to do that to others and if I’m having that effect on someone, I’d expect for them to tell me so that we can address it.

@hotwords229_A I figured you wouldn’t mind

Thank you for the questions

That’s really all I need to have a great relationship.

And a good taco every once in a while.

Speaking of which, a new place opened up near me recently that has fabulous tacos and the best pupusas I’ve ever had.

Where???

 

[hotwords229_A]

I’m a bull in a china shop when it comes to saying what I want. I am terrible at hiding what I want. If am awful at being coy. I can’t stand playing games.

Just when I thought you couldn’t be any sexier!

 

[aussiegeekygal]

That’s really all I need to have a great relationship.

And a good taco every once in a while.

Speaking of which, a new place opened up near me recently that has fabulous tacos and the best pupusas I’ve ever had.

You just reminded me.
I'll be in your neck of the woods at the end of the month.
If you're around, we should get tacos!

 

[Endless_Night]

Several things you mentioned resonated.

But I also know the misery that comes when I have to settle for a few cheap, random shots of dopamine instead of the good stuff.

This. Those random shots of dopamine leave me unsettled and sullied. Rather like a sugar hangover.

But above all, I have learned that I don't crave someone to give me attention, touch, power or whatever. If it isn't right, I'm better off without.

This, also. The right attention is a glorious, life-affirming high. Its counterpart feels distasteful and overstimulating.

But our passions, of whatever kind, are transformed by being shared with someone who feels as you do, and lessened and debased and cheapened by being shared with people who don't.

This is a wonderful sentence.

There is no joy in sharing part of myself simply to participate in the act of sharing. That is a pale imitation of the way mind and body sing when there is a true mesh of psyche.


Also. I did not know of the philosopher Epicurus.

#learningmoment

 

[Mei5ter]

Several things you mentioned resonated.

Thank you

Also. I did not know of the philosopher Epicurus.

Kant claim the credit there, however...the quotation is from Have His Carcase. But, as Lord Peter himself once observed, "I have a quotation for everything. It saves original thinking."

 

[Lmizzler]

Is Lit stealing our notifications too? I keep losing my notifications for this thread. Bahhh.

 

[Lmizzler]

Luckily I got @EvaLane notification so maybe all is not lost.

 

[EvaLane]

Luckily I got @EvaLane notification so maybe all is not lost. ​

Well I have a few hours so I may as wellllllllll

Not because it’s clever, but because it’s true​

We all have them, the people we feel drawn to who aren’t much of anything until, suddenly, they’re something, aren’t they?

I want to know about who you found your self into - that well, you got into, y’know, with your cocks (or metaphorical cocks for those of us lacking).

We’ve all heard of the ick, but have you ever fucked someone you didn’t even like… until afterwards? Have you ever been the ick turned intoxicating? What changed? What clicked?

Who were they to you before? Who were they to you during? Who are they to you now?

What did the experience change for ABOUT you? Your self worth, your ego, your confidence - did it take a hit or did it boost something in you? Do you approach connections differently now? If so, how?

Do you think it always burns out? Should it? Are you ever tempted to check if the fire’s still burning hotter than you remember?

Or was it never really about them at all? Was it about feeding something you were missing at the time? Are you finally satisfied? Is it even possible?!

 

[BongoGal]

We’ve all heard of the ick, but have you ever fucked someone you didn’t even like… until afterwards?

Say again?

 

[EvaLane]

Say again?

Or are we really just going to publicly call me out for being the only one handing out pity fucks that accidentally turn into hot memories?

Either way, yes

 

[LostHorizon]

View attachment 2547816

Or are we really just going to publicly call me out for being the only one handing out pity fucks that accidentally turn into hot memories?

Either way, yes

Where do I sign up for a pity fuck?

Is there an application I need to complete?

 

[AtramentousRex]

Total honesty and full disclosure, I've never had anyone that I disliked be attractive to me. I've also never had someone I disliked want ME. I don't think the 3 women I've been with were pity fucks. So I have to say I can't relate, but I do think it's an interesting question. I have to think about the feeling of being a pity fuck or the person someone is repulsed by and suddenly they just want to cum with me? That kind of...I dont know. I can see where it would give one a sort of ego boost.

 

[Endless_Night]

Kant claim the credit there, however...the quotation is from Have His Carcase. But, as Lord Peter himself once observed, "I have a quotation for everything. It saves original thinking."

What?!?!

How on earth did I miss this? Like twenty-five times? That being a rough approximation of how many times I've read Have His Carcase.

*puts self in corner*

 

[Endless_Night]

We’ve all heard of the ick, but have you ever fucked someone you didn’t even like… until afterwards? Have you ever been the ick turned intoxicating? What changed? What clicked?

Nope.

Which makes all the other questions moot.

I have enough trouble managing sex with those I find attractive to consider it with those I am not.


I do, however, know of The Ick. So I'm counting this question set as a win since I so rarely know the sex terms bandied about.

Okay, so I didn't actually know it was called The Ick, but I knew what you were talking about!

 

[EvaLane]

Nope.

Which makes all the other questions moot.

I have enough trouble managing sex with those I find attractive to consider it with those I am not.


I do, however, know of The Ick. So I'm counting this question set as a win since I so rarely know the sex terms bandied about.

Okay, so I didn't actually know it was called The Ick, but I knew what you were talking about!

Interesting! There’s no one you’ve sort of avoided interacting with even online that sort of wiggled their way in eventually?

It doesn’t exactly have to be someone you didn’t like or get along with, just someone that was maybe in your peripheral.

Come onnnnnnnnn

@AtramentousRex this counts for you too I think

 

[Endless_Night]

Interesting! There’s no one you’ve sort of avoided interacting with even online that sort of wiggled their way in eventually?

It doesn’t exactly have to be someone you didn’t like or get along with, just someone that was maybe in your peripheral.

Come onnnnnnnnn

Nope.

I just don't function that way.

I've never grown any type of attraction. Not even with a platonic friend. I always hear these stories about people who've been friends for years and then suddenly *boom*.

If I'm not attracted right away it is never going to happen.

And if I'm not attracted in a sexual way . . . Nope.

I feel my answer is disappointing.

 

[EvaLane]

I feel my answer is disappointing.

No, not disappointing at all! Honestly, now I just have more questions as usual (you don’t have to answer them but this is what I’m wondering lol)

So if your attraction hits right away, does it fade just as sharply? Or once it’s there, is it pretty locked in?

I’m curious if when you are into someone, do their traits start to glow for you in ways they normally wouldn’t? Like, if someone you’re into plays the piano, does that suddenly become sexy in a way it wouldn’t if it were someone else?

Basically once your switch is flipped, does everything they do get filtered through that lens? And if that switch has been unswutched, what happened?

Absolutely not disappointing

 

[Love_Is_Blonde]

Good questions, @EvaLane These are making me think. Have I ever developed feelings of attraction for someone AFTER knowing them for a while?

Well, I tend to be attracted to people who are unique and do their own thing. That seems to be a common thread for me. I do not tend to go for men who are part of a big crowd, not that there’s anything wrong with that. But, since the common denominator is that they are their own unique person, sometimes it takes me a while to figure them out. Or to trust them. Or to see if they are even into me, because maybe they’re too different and we really have nothing at all in common other than I’m intrigued by them. So for that reason, sometimes the attraction takes a while to build.

Maybe not exactly what you meant but that’s how I’m answering it.

And there is never a pity fuck.

 

[EvaLane]

Where do I sign up for a pity fuck?

Is there an application I need to complete?

Ala Bonnie Blue, you can take a stub and get in line no need to compete.

 

[Endless_Night]

No, not disappointing at all! Honestly, now I just have more questions as usual (you don’t have to answer them but this is what I’m wondering lol)

*cracks knuckles*

So if your attraction hits right away, does it fade just as sharply? Or once it’s there, is it pretty locked in?

If an attraction hits right away, it is likely to remain pretty solid. If I, ahem, *do* anything about the attraction, it's locked in. The end.

I am rarely attracted. Even more rarely do I let that go forward. That may affect longevity.

I’m curious if when you are into someone, do their traits start to glow for you in ways they normally wouldn’t? Like, if someone you’re into plays the piano, does that suddenly become sexy in a way it wouldn’t if it were someone else?

They do. I tend to enjoy people who have different interests and knowledge bases than my own. If I become strongly sexually attracted or sexually attached, it's my tendency to start delving into their interests.

Basically once your switch is flipped, does everything they do get filtered through that lens? And if that switch has been unswutched, what happened?

Hmm. That's a tough one. Everything does get filtered to an extent, but I am still very aware of behaviors I would consider red flags.

I may choose to store that knowledge, rather than act on it, but I'm aware.

 

[LostHorizon]

Ala Bonnie Blue, you can take a stub and get in line no need to compete.

View attachment 2547823

That’s fine. As long as I am first on line.

Woah! This is the golden ticket!!!!! WooooooHooooooo!

 

[Mei5ter]

But exploring and figuring out the inner workings of someone you find alluring is half the fun. Learning just a tiny part of the unknowable is exciting, enthralling, and so incredibly hot

And thus your career in colorectal surgery began.