The 50 Plus Cafe, Pub, All-Nite Greasy Spoon and Dive Bar

[Lilianna23]

Today is relief from cold wet and rain of the week. I plan to go for a good walk.

Twelve years ago my lovely late wife and I married. So it’s a bitter sweet weekend as it’s been 3 years since she passed away. I will honor her, my parents and all the people that served in the military.

 

[Lilianna23]

Oh it is going great day one I drove about 8 hours. My mom and I were cracking up in the car... she was talking about some of her childhood stuff and mentioned that a lot of the family's in her area sort of married into each other and I made a joke about having to worry about being thankful that I didn't have 3 nostrils or an earlobe growing out of my forehead and she cracked up.,....

Then we were eating a protein bar and I decided to play a game to see who would eat the last bite.but I didn't tell her we were playing that game so my bites got smaller and smaller.... when it got the size of a rice Crispin she was like omg just eat it...I said nope then I will lose the game.... and she was like what?!? What game?!? And e both cracked up....

I guess you had to be there but it was funny

Yesterday am we are eating breakfast and were talking to a guy named Pryor Baird. He said he was visiting radio stations..well what he didn't say was that he was final 6 on the voice has a recording contract etc. He was very nice.

Visited a friend in ripon Wisconsin.... he drove truck with my dad for 50+ years.. he just retired. He is a good guy. For all you car guys he has a stock 70 mustang boss in the prettiest orange color... he needs a tachometer if you all come across one

We ate at a very yummy Italian restaurant last night... but my desert was a disappointment....my mom's tiramisu was good she said
We decided to drive a bit. I wasn't paying attention to The gas gauge.... but crisis averted. Wanted to stop in lacrosse...mom said let's go to rochester.... ended up in albert lea.... to find a decent hotel not to far off the beaten path.

Mom has me going all over the place. I am gonna have to have a vacation to rest up....

This is a memory-making trip! I love your relationship with your mom!

 

[Lilianna23]

Did you ever buy that stepladder? Just wondering...

I did! I actually did what Wat told me to do and bought a heavy-duty model. I will try it out tomorrow.

 

[likes2watchU]

I did! I actually did what Wat told me to do and bought a heavy-duty model. I will try it out tomorrow.

If a neighbor is out and about, maybe ask them to hold it steady for you... or better, them up the ladder while you hold it steady. Safety first, right? Those flag pole holders are placed for proper placement of the flag... not convenience/safety of those hoisting them.

"Mother Hen mode... off"

 

[Lilianna23]

Time for another depressing post. I could use some advice here....

That lady I mentioned that I had been speaking too. Turns out she's having some major family problems. Her parents are likely splitting up and it's affecting her. This is on top of an ugly break up she had (which I knew about) a couple of years ago. It's really getting on top of her. I've tried to offer some support, mindful of our closeness (although I think that has become a thing o fthe past and certainly isn't a priority now). Us meeting isn't really on the cards simply due to distance.

And I think she's started drinking.

I am not a therapist, nor a counsellor and I am in no place to offer expert advice to her. I've shown her some of the simple breathing exercises I do to cope with stress. She has spoken to the Samaritans (here in the UK, I don't think she was about to do anything stupid and they help with anyone that's feeling low). I've told her that they are the experts.

I don't want to just walk away I think that would be cruel honestly. But by god I have to tread carefully. I'm not entirely sure what to do here. I'm happy being supportive, but I think she might need serious help rather than just advice. I told her earlier that she might benefit from talking it out with her family or with her uncle whom she mentioned. Just now she ame online and said she had been drinking. I don't know if she legit has a problem or was just having a drink, but that's how it starts ofc. I said, speak to the Samaritans they are the experts. I can really only signpost to organisations.

It's not so much how I feel that I'm concerned about. It's her wellbeing. Her past experience I think has kinda messed her up. Understandably.

Thanks for any advice, and for reading this.
Not really sure what I should do for the best

I think you're doing all the right things, Quim. Just being there for her, being supportive, directing her towards organizations for help is all good.

Try not to take her problems on yourself. And please try not to feel responsible for her problems. You're being an amazing friend to her.

 

[Lilianna23]

Swimming pools…

(Sigh) I’m pretty over having one. It came with the house, but it’s always something. I opened it up yesterday afternoon, treated it, cleaned it, got the filter going. Water was a bit low, but nothing terrible. Left the filter going all night and this morning the pool was down nearly a foot!

The liner is a bit old and I’ve patched it many times but the pool held water over the winter.

Asked a buddy and did some troubleshooting. We decided to reroute the water from the filter and bypass the returns to see if that takes that variable out of the equation.

We’ll see in the morning.

https://media4.giphy.com/media/xGdv...6&ep=v1_internal_gif_by_id&rid=giphy.gif&ct=g

I realized today I have to take a look at the hot tub. My husband always took care of it. It's my job now.

I don't envy you, W. Pools are great but also a lot of work to maintain.

 

[Lilianna23]

I’ve loaded up in the NyQuil just waiting for the affect to kick in. Dang colds

Drink lots of fluids, too. Hot tea is good. Water. Not too much coffee; it is a diuretic. Your body needs the fluids to fight off those nasty viruses. Also, rest. Get lots of rest.

 

[Lilianna23]

*Strolls in for a nightcap*
Weiners and Buns
Yep, right place





I concur.
The issues continue to stack up and while this person may feel they're getting piled on by life and others, the best resource for her is professional assistance - especially if substance use is involved. Perhaps it's not problem use at present... more self-medicating? But that's a poor coping mechanism best addressed by a professional as well.
As others have said, change is possible but must come from her - internal not external.
I wish you both good luck.

Pool Leak??? Those are the worst! Hope you figure it out w/o too much trouble.
This channel seems to have some good DIY info

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Our family has too many carnivores for a Bun : Wiener Ratio Problem

Very wise!! That blaze orange won't keep you awake.
Add rain and a full day of driving?? Uh-uh... hotel was the right call!!

Feel better soon!!
That NyQuil just doesn't pack the same punch as it used to... before they had to change the formula.
If you're taking it for the decongestant, switch to a different product. Studies show Phenylephrine (PE) is nullified in the stomach, but is still effective as a nasal spray. Many OTCs switched to PE when the "Meth Laws" went into effect c. 2005.
Prior to that, they contained Phenylephrine - which was the effective decongestant but also one of the ingredients for cooking meth.
FDA says decongestant in many cold medicines doesn’t work. What does help?

That's a win in my book - unless you needed something... more... washed off?!?
Glad you got in safely.

Sleep well everyone - especially our drivers who may need to get behind the wheel again tomorrow.

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Giphy URL

Good advice here, Likes!

 

[likes2watchU]

Also, rest. Get lots of rest.

Sleep is such good medicine!

Crap! Is that the time?
I'd better take some medicine myself.
Good night... again

 

[likes2watchU]

Good advice here, Likes!

I feel more secure about it now.
Night, Lili...

 

[Lilianna23]

If a neighbor is out and about, maybe ask them to hold it steady for you... or better, them up the ladder while you hold it steady. Safety first, right? Those flag pole holders are placed for proper placement of the flag... not convenience/safety of those hoisting them.

"Mother Hen mode... off"

Thanks, Likes!

 

[Lilianna23]

I feel more secure about it now.
Night, Lili...

Good night, Likes! Sleep well!

 

[Lilianna23]

It's not quite midnight yet and I've caught up. I've had a couple of difficult days, myself. But, also some victories! I was successful in going to the SSA office. I was armed with data and documents so I got everything I needed. Now, I just need to be patient to see if the process works.

I gave myself permission to rest today and slept 11 HOURS!!! My girl slept right next to me the whole time. Then, I mowed the back yard, watered the hanging fuchsias, and did some weeding!

A gal I met at the gym told me about something called "Grandpa's weeding tool." I need to see if I can find one. As it was, I found a kind of forked tool hanging with the other yard tools in the garage. I used that to pry the weeds up. It's a short tool so I did some bendovers and squats too! I'll be able to report to my trainer that I did, indeed, work out this weekend!

It's a long weekend for most of you so take advantage of Summer's unofficial opening day! ️

 

[Quimpossibility]

I think you're doing all the right things, Quim. Just being there for her, being supportive, directing her towards organizations for help is all good.

Try not to take her problems on yourself. And please try not to feel responsible for her problems. You're being an amazing friend to her.

Thank you, I appreciate that.

It's not so much feeling responsible, it's more that I think she's develop/have developed an attachment to me.

I also think she might be turning to drink, and that is very serious.

 

[Quimpossibility]

I don’t like giving advice.

But here’s how I feel about people. They are either additive to your life or take something from you. Yes - it’s also a continuum and maybe a little of both. I do not see this person being additive.

You have done a good deed by suggesting the samaritans.

But I wouldn’t get any more involved. You will not change her. Change comes from within.

IMO, you only stand to get further embroiled with her.

JMO.

in the long run I do not see ourselves chatting as much. I never expected it to take this turn, but then that's not really an excuse for being unaware. I think had we started dating it would be even worse for her and both of us.

I want to see her get the help she needs. I agree that I cannot change her, I would never seek to do so. But at this point, I can't just ghost her that would be cruel I think.

Tread carefully... you are essentially a stranger.... she needs to get advice from a licensed professional .....

Right, this exactly. That's what I'm trying to direct her towards.

I gave her some breathing exercises to help her calm down, but I am not and cannot be a counsellor.

I concur.
The issues continue to stack up and while this person may feel they're getting piled on by life and others, the best resource for her is professional assistance - especially if substance use is involved. Perhaps it's not problem use at present... more self-medicating? But that's a poor coping mechanism best addressed by a professional as well.
As others have said, change is possible but must come from her - internal not external.
I wish you both good luck.

Thank you.

Thanks for the advice folks. I really want to make sure I do the right thing here.

 

[Wonderer67]

Long drive today. I'm just whipped. Some rain on the way back, but only about enough to wash the bugs off the windshield.

Glad you made it back safely.

 

[nipplecaresser]

 

[Oldermom935]

Morning everyone!

 

[Oldermom935]

 

[Oldermom935]

 

[Oldermom935]

 

[Oldermom935]

 

[Oldermom935]

 

[B2fromA2looking4U]

Swimming pools…

(Sigh) I’m pretty over having one. It came with the house, but it’s always something. I opened it up yesterday afternoon, treated it, cleaned it, got the filter going. Water was a bit low, but nothing terrible. Left the filter going all night and this morning the pool was down nearly a foot!

The liner is a bit old and I’ve patched it many times but the pool held water over the winter.

Asked a buddy and did some troubleshooting. We decided to reroute the water from the filter and bypass the returns to see if that takes that variable out of the equation.

We’ll see in the morning.

https://media4.giphy.com/media/xGdv...6&ep=v1_internal_gif_by_id&rid=giphy.gif&ct=g

I had an in ground pool many years ago and it was a money sink. You have a leak somewhere. And it’s probably going to be expensive to repair. Wishing you the best and hope it’s an easy fix.

 

[B2fromA2looking4U]

It's not quite midnight yet and I've caught up. I've had a couple of difficult days, myself. But, also some victories! I was successful in going to the SSA office. I was armed with data and documents so I got everything I needed. Now, I just need to be patient to see if the process works.

I gave myself permission to rest today and slept 11 HOURS!!! My girl slept right next to me the whole time. Then, I mowed the back yard, watered the hanging fuchsias, and did some weeding!

A gal I met at the gym told me about something called "Grandpa's weeding tool." I need to see if I can find one. As it was, I found a kind of forked tool hanging with the other yard tools in the garage. I used that to pry the weeds up. It's a short tool so I did some bendovers and squats too! I'll be able to report to my trainer that I did, indeed, work out this weekend!

It's a long weekend for most of you so take advantage of Summer's unofficial opening day! ️

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May your weekend be restful and yet productive.