Cock Talk

[RosewoodTulip]

they might insist people verify their identity with Lit before they were allowed to post pics here. As other ampics sites have indeed done.

How exactly does that work on other sites? Like how secure are they? And if you delete your account does that info get removed too? I don't want big tech knowing this much about me thanks very much
I think some dating sites have a "verify account" thing where you upload a selfie with 2FA but it's been a couple of years since I last used one so I can't really remember the specifics.

I can see an argument why Lit might want to try and tackle the never ending alts and spammers but I also value my anonymity here. If someone learns who I am I want that to be because it was my choice to tell them, not because of hacking or data mining or whatever.

 

[EvaLane]

How exactly does that work on other sites? Like how secure are they? And if you delete your account does that info get removed too?

Small online communities are like social petri dishes - fascinating, unregulated, and sometimes repulsive. I might get some details wrong, but try to stay with me

Take fatpeoplehate, a subreddit from about a decade ago that eventually got banned for obvious reasons. What’s wild is that users there would actually submit photos of themselves privately to the modteam - not to be mocked, but to prove they were within a “healthy” BMI. Just to earn a verified status and gain the privilege of posting hate about fat people.

They weren’t showing off, most didn’t post their bodies at all. But they wanted the badge. They wanted to be distinguished from the anonymous masses, to prove they were “qualified” to contribute to the cruelty.

That’s what stuck with me the most, the way people will trade away privacy for a shot at legitimacy, even in the most vile spaces. It created this strange caste system, casual haters versus certified purists, which only made the place more rabid and self-justified.

The subreddit was eventually banned, rightfully so, but it was already imploding from the inside. No personal information was ever leaked (as far as I remember), but it easily could have been.

Now, imagine applying that same logic to Lit. Introduce a hardline photo verification policy, and you risk fracturing the culture. Suddenly it’s not just fantasy, it’s performance with a paper trail. You’d weed out the voyeurs and fence-sitters and be left with those willing to risk a little reality to keep playing.

And while that might appeal to some, it also threatens the delicate tension Lit thrives on. At that point, it might as well be pay to play

 

[Love_Is_Blonde]

That’s what stuck with me the most, the way people will trade away privacy for a shot at legitimacy, even in the most vile spaces.

This is so powerful, @EvaLane, and so well stated. You nailed it (at least for me) in this one phrase. Legitimacy.

 

[EvaLane]

You are only paranoid if someone isn’t following you.

https://64.media.tumblr.com/dfdaaf3d6f7969ce0a16d9fb911bb8d3/4c8921ecac873ce3-b8/s500x750/362f5e8f85c7184eadfa5b2b6637578565c602b2.gifv

A day may come when ALL of our internet “things” come together

When that day comes . . .

https://i.gifer.com/3pxg.gif

How awkward will your next family dinner, office meeting, or friends get together be? Very awkward, life altering, or meh, everyone knows I’m a perv?

Honestly? Not awkward at all. I’m very safe on Lit my family wouldn’t even know how to type “erotic literature” into a browser, let alone stumble across this place.

If they ever were informed… sure, they might have questions, maybe even concerns, but I’m basically a pro at smiling through uncomfortable customer service situations

More likely, I’d just fully disassociate, and if I know my family, they’d play along out of sheer discomfort.

Would you find it liberating if your personal info was attached to your Lit info, posts, nudes etc. and there was no plausible deniability?

Ah… no, no I don’t think that could work for me.

Do you operate online as if all of this may come out in the future, or do you play it fast and loose?

I’ve been playing it fast and loose since MSN existed and somehow haven’t experienced any consequences yet. At this point, it would be silly to change strategies.

Do you take advantage of the anonymity of Lit, or would you behave the same exact way if everything you do here was publicly available to everyone you knew?

I’m also in the “wouldn’t be here” camp.

Well, maybe, if DMs were still private…

Like, I’m not publicly commenting “good girl” under someone’s JOI audio. I’m barely doing that privately, actually… I should listen to more girlies, I’ve been neglectful.

Have you ever created a Lit alt to explore “things” so as to not sully your carefully created Lit persona?

Nope, one account at a time, one million messes at a time.

If I’m into something, I’ll probably say it. If I’m ashamed of something, I’ll definitely say it. I don’t see the point in hiding the parts that turn me on. Shame’s a kink anyway, right?

What is one thing you’ve done on Lit that you wish you hadn’t done?

Cheesy, I know, but nothing. I’ve been lucky. Any trouble I’ve gotten into, I walked right into it smiling, even if I was a mess afterwards.

If anything, I wish I hadn’t held back so often. I’ve missed out on a few things that could’ve been fun, but maybe it wasn’t the time. That’s why I don’t burn bridges

 

[AngelicaS1780]

How exactly does that work on other sites? Like how secure are they? And if you delete your account does that info get removed too? I don't want big tech knowing this much about me thanks very much
I think some dating sites have a "verify account" thing where you upload a selfie with 2FA but it's been a couple of years since I last used one so I can't really remember the specifics.

The only other site I have been on is FetLife. You can be verified, which means you get a check mark next to your name indicating that the site has verified your identity. Here's some info from their FAQ on how they do it and how they try to keep your info secure. I am not verified, as I don't use the site much and don't feel like I have a need to be. FetLife is a site that requires people to register to enter the site, hence my choosing to share this info here as opposed to just giving a link. I kinda wish Lit would do this. It's why I always attached my photos, as only Lit members can view attachments. I know that the bar is low, you just need an email, but it still made me feel a little less like I was just putting my pics out to the public.

If Lit was to require verification, I think I would be okay with doing that. My identity has already been stolen. DMV and Social Security don't bother to give you new ID numbers anyway. And all my credit reports and bank accounts have security freezes. My husband knows I'm here. I really have little reason to care if anyone found out I use the site.

Frequently Asked Questions​

Q. Why is FetLife encouraging people to get verified?​

Any adult website that depends on financial systems to function has been under pressure to do better when it comes to:

• Child sexual abuse material (CSAM); and
• Consent, e.g. revenge porn

Two things every site should strive to do a better job at, adult or not.

One of the changes that adult websites have been asked to make to help curb CSAM and issues of consent is to introduce profile verification.

Q. What are the benefits to getting verified?​

To encourage people to get verified, we offer benefits to verified members.

Verified members:

• Profiles will be prioritized in member lists
• Pics, vids, and writings will appear first in search results
• Will be able to message more non-friends a day
• Can view more feed items in Main Activity Feed
• Pics and vids can trend on "Kinky & Popular"
• Pics and vids can trend on tag explore pages
• Pics and vids can appear in "Fresh & Pervy"
• Can appear in "Follow Recommendations" lists
• Increased following and friending limits

Q. How does verification work?​

You can verify your profile in two ways:

1. By uploading your government ID
2. By using a face picture on your profile

For both verification methods we require you to have a functioning camera or webcam.

If there is a chance that a member is underage, we will also request proof of age. (like liquor stores, clubs, etc.)

Q. Who has access to my verification pictures?​

Only members of the FetLife team can view your verification pictures.

All verification pictures are encrypted on upload. For security and privacy reasons, we maintain an audit trail of who and when a member of the FetLife team accesses any of your verification pictures.

 

[Mei5ter]

Small online communities are like social petri dishes - fascinating, unregulated, and sometimes repulsive. I might get some details wrong, but try to stay with me

Take fatpeoplehate, a subreddit from about a decade ago that eventually got banned for obvious reasons. What’s wild is that users there would actually submit photos of themselves privately to the modteam - not to be mocked, but to prove they were within a “healthy” BMI. Just to earn a verified status and gain the privilege of posting hate about fat people.

They weren’t showing off, most didn’t post their bodies at all. But they wanted the badge. They wanted to be distinguished from the anonymous masses, to prove they were “qualified” to contribute to the cruelty.

That’s what stuck with me the most, the way people will trade away privacy for a shot at legitimacy, even in the most vile spaces. It created this strange caste system, casual haters versus certified purists, which only made the place more rabid and self-justified.

The subreddit was eventually banned, rightfully so, but it was already imploding from the inside. No personal information was ever leaked (as far as I remember), but it easily could have been.

Now, imagine applying that same logic to Lit. Introduce a hardline photo verification policy, and you risk fracturing the culture. Suddenly it’s not just fantasy, it’s performance with a paper trail. You’d weed out the voyeurs and fence-sitters and be left with those willing to risk a little reality to keep playing.

And while that might appeal to some, it also threatens the delicate tension Lit thrives on. At that point, it might as well be pay to play

I can see that a group like that gives someone not only a sense of individual identity, but also a collective to belong to. Both defined by being transgressive (using the word euphemistically in this context, because we're actually talking about a group defined by shared use of hate speech of a particularly vile kind).

You get this in corners of Lit. Some BDSM types seem to want to be seen as "different", and I can respect why that might be. If you've spent years fighting for acceptance, from yourself and from others, as someone who gets sexual pleasure from hurting or being hurt, maybe you don't welcome someone saying "I'm like you because I have this recurrent dream about spanking."

But that's not Lit as a whole. Being on Lit, for many of us, is pretty similar to buying a magazine in the old days: it's embarrassing if you're found doing it, but nothing worse.

I can see there might be a taboo thrill in signing up for Fetlife - the clue is in the name. But not in joining Lit, surely? If your friend announced "I've joined a site called Fetish Life!", you'd react differently than if they announced "I've joined a site called Literotica!"

We're mainstream, folks. Anything posted here can be found elsewhere online, on thousands and thousands of other sites which you can still access anonymously. Why stay on Lit and risk giving over your government ID when it's all out there elsewhere?

 

[EvaLane]

If your friend announced "I've joined a site called Fetish Life!", you'd react differently than if they announced "I've joined a site called Literotica!"

We can take it a step further, I have multiple friends who promote their OF accounts right on their main social media - the same accounts their families follow. Not only is it tolerated, it’s often met with open support, even encouragement. The line of what’s “acceptable” has clearly shifted.

There’s something about Lit, though. Maybe it’s the layered process of even accessing the forums that seems to filter out a lot of the noise. Most of my connections here have been with authors or creators, which I think says something. There’s a hunger for mental stimulation that’s harder to come by elsewhere, online or off.

I’ve tried other platforms, but nothing really sticks. Everything either moves too fast or clearly prioritizes paid content over originality.

I’d hate to see Lit change in a way that dulls the experience but really, part of me doesn’t think it will. Of course, I’m also very good at denial, so take that as you will

 

[hotwords229_A]

I have multiple friends who promote their OF accounts right on their main social media - the same accounts their families follow. Not only is it tolerated, it’s often met with open support, even encouragement. The line of what’s “acceptable” has clearly shifted.

Is OF strictly porn, or is it just a paid YouTube-type channel?
I assume it’s mostly porn, but I could see how it might be a non-porn business too.

 

[EvaLane]

Is OF strictly porn, or is it just a paid YouTube-type channel?
I assume it’s mostly porn, but I could see how it might be a non-porn business too.

It’s porn.

But it’s also not, depending on how creative someone wants to get with the loophole.

I probably shouldn’t even tell this story here, it feels like mixing two worlds that shouldn’t touch, but here we areeee

A certified addiction therapist had an OF account. No nudity, no flirting, just her baking. Literal baking. Hour-long sessions of her cracking eggs and monologuing about addiction as if it were some meditative cooking show. She charged an absurd amount for access and pitched it (privately) as a therapeutic tool for clients. She even hosted 1 on 1 sessions.

And yet… she was funneling vulnerable addicts, some barely holding onto sobriety, into a site designed for temptation. Into secrecy. Into draining their money one more way. She didn’t have to take her clothes off, the damage was still done.

 

[Cowboy34]

It’s porn.

But it’s also not, depending on how creative someone wants to get with the loophole.

I probably shouldn’t even tell this story here, it feels like mixing two worlds that shouldn’t touch, but here we areeee

A certified addiction therapist had an OF account. No nudity, no flirting, just her baking. Literal baking. Hour-long sessions of her cracking eggs and monologuing about addiction as if it were some meditative cooking show. She charged an absurd amount for access and pitched it (privately) as a therapeutic tool for clients. She even hosted 1 on 1 sessions.

And yet… she was funneling vulnerable addicts, some barely holding onto sobriety, into a site designed for temptation. Into secrecy. Into draining their money one more way. She didn’t have to take her clothes off, the damage was still done.

That's insane!!

 

[lavendersilk]

A certified addiction therapist had an OF account. No nudity, no flirting, just her baking. Literal baking. Hour-long sessions of her cracking eggs and monologuing about addiction as if it were some meditative cooking show. She charged an absurd amount for access and pitched it (privately) as a therapeutic tool for clients. She even hosted 1 on 1 sessions.


And yet… she was funneling vulnerable addicts, some barely holding onto sobriety, into a site designed for temptation. Into secrecy. Into draining their money one more way. She didn’t have to take her clothes off, the damage was still done.

Wow, that's interesting. I would like to know more about that.

 

[Qky75]

I can see that a group like that gives someone not only a sense of individual identity, but also a collective to belong to. Both defined by being transgressive (using the word euphemistically in this context, because we're actually talking about a group defined by shared use of hate speech of a particularly vile kind).

You get this in corners of Lit. Some BDSM types seem to want to be seen as "different", and I can respect why that might be. If you've spent years fighting for acceptance, from yourself and from others, as someone who gets sexual pleasure from hurting or being hurt, maybe you don't welcome someone saying "I'm like you because I have this recurrent dream about spanking."

But that's not Lit as a whole. Being on Lit, for many of us, is pretty similar to buying a magazine in the old days: it's embarrassing if you're found doing it, but nothing worse.

I can see there might be a taboo thrill in signing up for Fetlife - the clue is in the name. But not in joining Lit, surely? If your friend announced "I've joined a site called Fetish Life!", you'd react differently than if they announced "I've joined a site called Literotica!"

We're mainstream, folks. Anything posted here can be found elsewhere online, on thousands and thousands of other sites which you can still access anonymously. Why stay on Lit and risk giving over your government ID when it's all out there elsewhere?

Lol FetLife is a true sausage party with people looking to either sell you their content or shame you for showing interest.

 

[ShaneoD]

Wow, that's interesting. I would like to know more about that.

Apparently people in Northern Ireland are seeking help for onlyfans addictions now too

 

[Endless_Night]

A certified addiction therapist had an OF account. No nudity, no flirting, just her baking. Literal baking. Hour-long sessions of her cracking eggs and monologuing about addiction as if it were some meditative cooking show. She charged an absurd amount for access and pitched it (privately) as a therapeutic tool for clients. She even hosted 1 on 1 sessions.

And yet… she was funneling vulnerable addicts, some barely holding onto sobriety, into a site designed for temptation. Into secrecy. Into draining their money one more way. She didn’t have to take her clothes off, the damage was still done.

So, curious. I associate the word sobriety with alcoholism. Are you using it in a wider sense?

I mean, while her site choice certainly seems questionable as far maintaining credibility in her field, if the clients weren't sex addicts and there was value in her monologues where is the temptation?

I feel like I'm missing something . . . .

 

[lavendersilk]

You can literally be addicted to anything. And usually we trade one addiction for another. If you can focus on a safe and harmless way to achieve that dopamine kick, it's great! But sooooo hard to do.

It's also quite common for people to prey on other's addictions to benefit themselves. Nicotine, alcohol, gambling, sex, food... the list goes on.

 

[UnquietDreams]

Is OF strictly porn, or is it just a paid YouTube-type channel?
I assume it’s mostly porn, but I could see how it might be a non-porn business too.

OF was designed as a way of creators monetizing directly. It was made for creators of all types, but it became very popular, then synonymous (or would that be sin anonymous?) with porn. If you tell someone you have an OF account, they are going to assume you are a sex worker of some sort.

 

[AngelicaS1780]

We're mainstream, folks. Anything posted here can be found elsewhere online, on thousands and thousands of other sites which you can still access anonymously. Why stay on Lit and risk giving over your government ID when it's all out there elsewhere?

There’s something about Lit, though. Maybe it’s the layered process of even accessing the forums that seems to filter out a lot of the noise. Most of my connections here have been with authors or creators, which I think says something. There’s a hunger for mental stimulation that’s harder to come by elsewhere, online or off.

I’ve tried other platforms, but nothing really sticks. Everything either moves too fast or clearly prioritizes paid content over originality.

The only other site I've tried is FetLife. And, to me, it feels nothing like Lit. It feels like half the people posting pics are doing it to promote their OnlyFans sites. So different from threads like the Chaos: Don't Stress, Undress thread over in AmPics where there's a sense of camaraderie and encouragement. People are posting for fun here, not for a promotional opportunity.

And while I can go to thousands of other sites to see nude photos and porn, that's not why I came to Lit. It's definitely not why I started posting on the boards. It's the interesting pervs here that got me involved in the forums. And that's what keeps me coming back.

 

[Qky75]

The only other site I've tried is FetLife. And, to me, it feels nothing like Lit. It feels like half the people posting pics are doing it to promote their OnlyFans sites. So different from threads like the Chaos: Don't Stress, Undress thread over in AmPics where there's a sense of camaraderie and encouragement. People are posting for fun here, not for a promotional opportunity.

And while I can go to thousands of other sites to see nude photos and porn, that's not why I came to Lit. It's definitely not why I started posting on the boards. It's the interesting pervs here that got me involved in the forums. And that's what keeps me coming back.

FetLife is toxic.

 

[Love_Is_Blonde]

Fetlife was like the first time you swim in the Olympic sized pool after only having ever trained in a neighborhood pool.

I tried Fetlife for a minute. Wow was that humbling. I was able to eventually find some forums that were more my speed but it was so hard to get to know anyone. So if that is what you are looking to do, Fetlife is not the place to go.

I found forums with things that I was interested in, and eventually talked to some people who frequented those forums. But even if I felt like I could tell who was a real person, it was as if they were conditioned to swipe through everyone so quickly; they assumed that I wasn’t real.

Everyone’s pictures were professional grade pictures. There were hardly any amateur or everyday people there. Everyone looked like a Penthouse pet. There are a few people here on Lit whose pictures scream fake to me and I think we all know that, but for the most part, there are genuine people and real pictures. But on Fetlife, they are photoshopped and airbrushed and fake tanned and without a blemish anywhere. They are definitely making a ton of money off of them. It isn’t for fun. It isn’t for camaraderie. It’s just a completely different feel.

I hope that somehow Lit can continue to maintain its naughty neighborhood feel and that the changes don’t create another place like Fetlife.

 

[Endless_Night]

Without going into too many specifics, the therapy was sex/porn addiction/habit focused.

Ah. This makes all the difference.

Eventually she was let go, but she went down swinging, insisting her intentions were pure and that she’d genuinely helped people.

Without even acknowledging her choice of platform might have put her clients at risk? That seems a little like having blinders on.

But I have to wonder - what’s happening behind closed doors with those same cringing individuals? How much of it is real, and how much is just well rehearsed?

Behind closed doors it was probably all about how to mitigate responsibility and public image. That seems to be the only thing most places care about these days.

I tried Fetlife for a minute. Wow was that humbling.

Impressive! I couldn't even figure out how to navigate the site.

 

[Mo_Bandy]

Dude no doubt my OF money goes to good wholesome whorish fun.

 

[birdy]

I tried Fetlife for a minute. Wow was that humbling. I was able to eventually find some forums that were more my speed but it was so hard to get to know anyone.

I get that feeling as well on FetLife. I have a group there that I really enjoy and know people in, but it felt like it took me years of participating in group posts to get to know anyone at all. It's a very different vibe there in general, aside from a few hidden gems. Unfortunately whenever I find an interesting group there it's never active anymore lol.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

How awkward will your next family dinner, office meeting, or friends get together be? Very awkward, life altering, or meh, everyone knows I’m a perv?
Oh, this is a delightfully entertaining thought experiment. My family would not be all that surprised. My close friends know about lit (they love the stories) and I share photos I post here in a group chat I've got going with my girlfriends. Work - now that's a mixed bag. And if it ever happened, there would be a part of me that would actually enjoy navigating any nonsense that may arise.
Would you find it liberating if your personal info was attached to your Lit info, posts, nudes etc. and there was no plausible deniability?
I'm not intimidated by anything I post here. If it were to be associated to me, I'd be able to own it. That being said, I'm not going to volunteer that information. Liberation comes from within myself

Do you operate online as if all of this may come out in the future, or do you play it fast and loose?
I have to think about things coming out. I can really toe the line at times.

Do you take advantage of the anonymity of Lit, or would you behave the same exact way if everything you do here was publicly available to everyone you knew?
I do take advantage on the anonymity of lit. I'm a woman and the world still isn't ready for this level of sexual liberation that doesn't belong to y'all. It's mine. Again, I own everything I post and it's all for me, but the world is weird and people are cruel at times.

Have you ever created a Lit alt to explore “things” so as to not sully your carefully created Lit persona?
Nope. I'm a neveralt

What is one thing you’ve done on Lit that you wish you hadn’t done?
In my very early days I inadvertently referenced someone's real name in conversation without first establishing they knew it. I felt like shit and I learnt a painful lesson that day.

 

[hotwords229_A]

And if it ever happened, there would be a part of me that would actually enjoy navigating any nonsense that may arise.

I feel this way too.

 

[hotwords229_A]

It’s like, two topless women can’t rub oil on each other on a public beach without being perved on.

https://64.media.tumblr.com/b11dd664385fb3db70aa4c01736c2326/230161994a7623aa-c9/s1280x1920/0a2d493d6b40b3cc5bf4f21cd524bc2e3cb5c314.jpg

Disclaimer: obviously grabbing your camera is wrong (or grabbing anything else ), however . . .

Have you ever been caught ogling someone where you were the total perv?
Have you ever been in an accidental voyeuristic situation and chose to give the person/people their privacy?
Alfred Hitchcock proved beyond the Shadow of a Doubt (get it?) that we are all perverted voyeurs, but on a scale of 3 - 10.5, how much of a voyeur are you?
Were you ever aware of being perved on and chose to indulge your exhibitionist tendencies?
What is the single greatest moment of exhibitionism you ever took part in?
Women, have you ever made out with another woman (or more ) to excite men? Would you?
Guys, how far would you go with another guy to excite women (assuming they’re into it)?