Almost always smiling. AKA a place where Photog1rl shows off 😜

Trigger warning this isn't a sexy post but it’s real one.




I found out on Wednesday that my dad had passed on the 15th. He spent four days alone in his apartment before someone found him. It was a tragic ending to an even more tragic life. Our relationship was a complicated one. He grew up in an abusive household and while never abusive to me he was violent with my mother and lived his life as an addict. He did love me though, as much as he was able to, and much of who I am I attribute to being his daughter. I spent my childhood hoping he would change, choose me instead of drugs and held on to any shred of hope he was on a new path.
Unfortunately, that was not to be the case.
View attachment 2499577
As an adult I learned to set boundaries and worked to provide a very different family dynamic for my children. Its been far from perfect but my children grew up in a stable and supportive family knowing they were loved.
View attachment 2499580Recently I had to choose my children's safety and best interest over my dad. It lead to us being estranged for the past year.

The call from the medical examiner was a complete shock. I knew he would not live forever, in fact he is lucky to lived as long as he did, but the hurt and anger of loss is so raw.
Papa, I loved you for who you were and all the things I learned from you.

View attachment 2499578View attachment 2499579

May your spirit be free and may you have an easier path on your next go around.
View attachment 2499581
🫂🫂🫂🫂
 
Trigger warning this isn't a sexy post but it’s real one.




I found out on Wednesday that my dad had passed on the 15th. He spent four days alone in his apartment before someone found him. It was a tragic ending to an even more tragic life. Our relationship was a complicated one. He grew up in an abusive household and while never abusive to me he was violent with my mother and lived his life as an addict. He did love me though, as much as he was able to, and much of who I am I attribute to being his daughter. I spent my childhood hoping he would change, choose me instead of drugs and held on to any shred of hope he was on a new path.
Unfortunately, that was not to be the case.
View attachment 2499577
As an adult I learned to set boundaries and worked to provide a very different family dynamic for my children. Its been far from perfect but my children grew up in a stable and supportive family knowing they were loved.
View attachment 2499580Recently I had to choose my children's safety and best interest over my dad. It lead to us being estranged for the past year.

The call from the medical examiner was a complete shock. I knew he would not live forever, in fact he is lucky to lived as long as he did, but the hurt and anger of loss is so raw.
Papa, I loved you for who you were and all the things I learned from you.

View attachment 2499578View attachment 2499579

May your spirit be free and may you have an easier path on your next go around.
View attachment 2499581
I’m so sorry for your loss. You are a wonderful person, I hate to hear about anything hitting you so hard.
I’m sending the biggest 🫂 that I can!!!
 
Trigger warning this isn't a sexy post but it’s real one.




I found out on Wednesday that my dad had passed on the 15th. He spent four days alone in his apartment before someone found him. It was a tragic ending to an even more tragic life. Our relationship was a complicated one. He grew up in an abusive household and while never abusive to me he was violent with my mother and lived his life as an addict. He did love me though, as much as he was able to, and much of who I am I attribute to being his daughter. I spent my childhood hoping he would change, choose me instead of drugs and held on to any shred of hope he was on a new path.
Unfortunately, that was not to be the case.
View attachment 2499577
As an adult I learned to set boundaries and worked to provide a very different family dynamic for my children. Its been far from perfect but my children grew up in a stable and supportive family knowing they were loved.
View attachment 2499580Recently I had to choose my children's safety and best interest over my dad. It lead to us being estranged for the past year.

The call from the medical examiner was a complete shock. I knew he would not live forever, in fact he is lucky to lived as long as he did, but the hurt and anger of loss is so raw.
Papa, I loved you for who you were and all the things I learned from you.

View attachment 2499578View attachment 2499579

May your spirit be free and may you have an easier path on your next go around.
View attachment 2499581
Oh. God. I totally missed this, PG. I had no idea. I'm so sorry for your loss. Especially while he was still living. I'm sure he loved you very very much, even if he couldn't beat his addictions and other demons. And he must have had some good influences on you, because you're an absolutely wonderful woman. I think I speak for everyone on Lit when I say that we all treasure you.
 
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Trigger warning this isn't a sexy post but it’s real one.




I found out on Wednesday that my dad had passed on the 15th. He spent four days alone in his apartment before someone found him. It was a tragic ending to an even more tragic life. Our relationship was a complicated one. He grew up in an abusive household and while never abusive to me he was violent with my mother and lived his life as an addict. He did love me though, as much as he was able to, and much of who I am I attribute to being his daughter. I spent my childhood hoping he would change, choose me instead of drugs and held on to any shred of hope he was on a new path.
Unfortunately, that was not to be the case.
View attachment 2499577
As an adult I learned to set boundaries and worked to provide a very different family dynamic for my children. Its been far from perfect but my children grew up in a stable and supportive family knowing they were loved.
View attachment 2499580Recently I had to choose my children's safety and best interest over my dad. It lead to us being estranged for the past year.

The call from the medical examiner was a complete shock. I knew he would not live forever, in fact he is lucky to lived as long as he did, but the hurt and anger of loss is so raw.
Papa, I loved you for who you were and all the things I learned from you.

View attachment 2499578View attachment 2499579

May your spirit be free and may you have an easier path on your next go around.
View attachment 2499581
So sorry to hear about your father,,,,,,
 
Trigger warning this isn't a sexy post but it’s real one.




I found out on Wednesday that my dad had passed on the 15th. He spent four days alone in his apartment before someone found him. It was a tragic ending to an even more tragic life. Our relationship was a complicated one. He grew up in an abusive household and while never abusive to me he was violent with my mother and lived his life as an addict. He did love me though, as much as he was able to, and much of who I am I attribute to being his daughter. I spent my childhood hoping he would change, choose me instead of drugs and held on to any shred of hope he was on a new path.
Unfortunately, that was not to be the case.
View attachment 2499577
As an adult I learned to set boundaries and worked to provide a very different family dynamic for my children. Its been far from perfect but my children grew up in a stable and supportive family knowing they were loved.
View attachment 2499580Recently I had to choose my children's safety and best interest over my dad. It lead to us being estranged for the past year.

The call from the medical examiner was a complete shock. I knew he would not live forever, in fact he is lucky to lived as long as he did, but the hurt and anger of loss is so raw.
Papa, I loved you for who you were and all the things I learned from you.

View attachment 2499578View attachment 2499579

May your spirit be free and may you have an easier path on your next go around.
View attachment 2499581
😢
 
Trigger warning this isn't a sexy post but it’s real one.




I found out on Wednesday that my dad had passed on the 15th. He spent four days alone in his apartment before someone found him. It was a tragic ending to an even more tragic life. Our relationship was a complicated one. He grew up in an abusive household and while never abusive to me he was violent with my mother and lived his life as an addict. He did love me though, as much as he was able to, and much of who I am I attribute to being his daughter. I spent my childhood hoping he would change, choose me instead of drugs and held on to any shred of hope he was on a new path.
Unfortunately, that was not to be the case.
View attachment 2499577
As an adult I learned to set boundaries and worked to provide a very different family dynamic for my children. Its been far from perfect but my children grew up in a stable and supportive family knowing they were loved.
View attachment 2499580Recently I had to choose my children's safety and best interest over my dad. It lead to us being estranged for the past year.

The call from the medical examiner was a complete shock. I knew he would not live forever, in fact he is lucky to lived as long as he did, but the hurt and anger of loss is so raw.
Papa, I loved you for who you were and all the things I learned from you.

View attachment 2499578View attachment 2499579

May your spirit be free and may you have an easier path on your next go around.
View attachment 2499581
I only seen this today. I’m so sorry for your loss. ❤️
I’ve had a lot of losses lately so can relate somewhat.
I wish I had words of wisdom for you but I don’t unfortunately
Hugs 🫂
 
Trigger warning this isn't a sexy post but it’s real one.




I found out on Wednesday that my dad had passed on the 15th. He spent four days alone in his apartment before someone found him. It was a tragic ending to an even more tragic life. Our relationship was a complicated one. He grew up in an abusive household and while never abusive to me he was violent with my mother and lived his life as an addict. He did love me though, as much as he was able to, and much of who I am I attribute to being his daughter. I spent my childhood hoping he would change, choose me instead of drugs and held on to any shred of hope he was on a new path.
Unfortunately, that was not to be the case.
View attachment 2499577
As an adult I learned to set boundaries and worked to provide a very different family dynamic for my children. Its been far from perfect but my children grew up in a stable and supportive family knowing they were loved.
View attachment 2499580Recently I had to choose my children's safety and best interest over my dad. It lead to us being estranged for the past year.

The call from the medical examiner was a complete shock. I knew he would not live forever, in fact he is lucky to lived as long as he did, but the hurt and anger of loss is so raw.
Papa, I loved you for who you were and all the things I learned from you.

View attachment 2499578View attachment 2499579

May your spirit be free and may you have an easier path on your next go around.
View attachment 2499581
Oh, PG, my heart goes out to you. I can relate so hard to this. My own father passed almost three years ago. I never had a good relationship with him. I was never the son he wanted because I wouldn’t let him live his life again vicariously through me. His alcohol and drug addictions didn’t help.

I know this isn’t easy, and I know there isn’t anything I can say or do that will help mitigate any pain. That having been said, I can listen. If you need an ear, my friend, please reach out, and I will be there.
 
Thank you all so very much. I know I posted and sort of ran away from the thread for a while but you have all touched me with your outreach and kindness. Loss is so difficult to process, and when the relationship is complicated, it is even harder(I think) because anger and sadness are so intertwined with the loss. I am still not ready to face this but I am slowly coming to terms with it. I loved each and every one of your posts. Collectively you made me cry but they were tears of appreciation. This little Lit community can be really lovely.

So sorry to hear. Hugs. @Photog1rl
Thank you 🫂
Extra hugs,
I'm sorry.
🫂 Thank you so much friend. I owe you a message. I am sorry it is so delayed.
Much appreciated. 🫂
I'm sorry to hear about your dad. I'm sending mental hugs your way.
🫂 Thank you
I have been praying that he finally found peace.
Your honesty, love and strength shine through 🫂🫂❤️
Thank you BG. I so appreciate your consistent support and care. 🫂❤️
Well done lady, for learning what you could and for doing what was right by your family ❤️
Thank you Shane, I think that is all we can try to do. It sucks sometimes, it really does, but I know I did what was best for all of us. 🫂
Hugs to you and yours, love. And strength.

I'm still adjusting to the loss of my Dad in some ways, Mine passed in 2019, and also struggled to overcome parenting that was abusive. I feel like he made a valient effort and certainly did not install many of the less positive things about my paternal grandfather into us. He broke the cycle.
I am so sorry to hear of your father's passing. He sounds like he did a lot of work to overcome what he grew up with. That speaks volumes for him and what he wanted for his child(ren). I am sure that I will be processing for years and I hope that I will get to the point where my focus is on the positive pieces and the sadness and anger subside.
Thank you 🫂
🫂 Thank you
🫂🫂 Right back at you lady.
Very sorry for your loss PG. My condolences...
Thank you Fred.
Many hugs my friend.
Find your peace and comfort in things that you love
🫂🫂 Thank you Dawn. I appreciate your support.
Hugs. Sorry for your loss. I also had a complicated relationship with my dad.
It seems so many of us had these complex relationships. I wish it had made the loss easier, but it hasn't. Hugs to you too.
I am so sorry for your loss. Family can be so complicated. :heart: 🫂
🫂🫂 thank you very much.
I only just saw this.

I'm so sorry for your loss. It's always hard, whatever the circumstances.
Thank you Wander, I truly appreciate your kindness.
My thoughts are with you. 💞
Thanks Dalton 🫂
I’m very sorry to hear of your loss, no matter what type of relationship you have or had, loss is loss. My only advice is to be kind to yourself, quell any doubts that might arise before they take root, revel in all that is wonderful in your life, the life’s that you created that thrive and congratulate yourself for breaking the cycle, which is never easy.
Thank you. This is what I must remind myself of often. Setting and holding my boundaries was necessary and I know that I am not a bitch for doing it but shit it was hard and the doubt definitely creeps in when you didn't get to say goodbye.
So sorry to hear of your loss.
I remember each day I lost one of my parents.
I hope you find peace.
Thank you very much. It has been a when it rains it pours time in my house.
🫂🫂 Thank you very much Grant. 🫂
I’m so sorry for your loss. You are a wonderful person, I hate to hear about anything hitting you so hard.
I’m sending the biggest 🫂 that I can!!!
Thank you very much. I so appreciate your kindness. My life has always been complex and I usually roll with it but this has been hard. I knew it would happen and knew it would bring up so much but shit I was not prepared for it. 🫂
Oh. God. I totally missed this, PG. I had no idea. I'm so sorry for your loss. Especially while he was still living. I'm sure he loved you very very much, even if he couldn't beat his addictions and other demons. And he must have had some good influences on you, because you're an absolutely wonderful woman. I think I speak for everyone on Lit when I say that we all treasure you.
Thank you. The loss while he was living is one I worked on a lot in therapy. It helped so much, but I will be going back. I am still angry and so much angrier than I realized. Sometimes putting in the work to do and be better is exhausting. I really appreciate your kind words.
So sorry to hear about your father,,,,,,
Thank you🫂
🫂
I only seen this today. I’m so sorry for your loss. ❤️
I’ve had a lot of losses lately so can relate somewhat.
I wish I had words of wisdom for you but I don’t unfortunately
Hugs 🫂
Thank you. I am sorry for your losses as well. Life can dole it out sometimes.
Oh, PG, my heart goes out to you. I can relate so hard to this. My own father passed almost three years ago. I never had a good relationship with him. I was never the son he wanted because I wouldn’t let him live his life again vicariously through me. His alcohol and drug addictions didn’t help.

I know this isn’t easy, and I know there isn’t anything I can say or do that will help mitigate any pain. That having been said, I can listen. If you need an ear, my friend, please reach out, and I will be there.
Thank you, Drac 🫂 you are a good friend, and I appreciate you. If I get to a place where talking sounds good, I will definitely reach out.

Again, thank you to everyone that reached out or commented. You have made me feel so supported and seen. I will be processing this for a long time. Knowing y'all are here as support gives me some peace.
 
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