🫧Chloe's Curiosities Captivated🫦

[Chloe_Harper]

Loved reading this.
A lot of it really resonated.
I won't get wordy, but the only part I'd comment on is the last bit.

No amount, or quality of time spent, will suppress the urge to push back and away if someone begs or demands to be "let in".
That happens organically, or it simply doesn't.
Pressure creates resistance.
If you push a thing, it moves away from you.
Not toward you.

Oh, I hear what you're saying and where you are coming from. I suppose that it's different for everyone. let me think for a moment...

The begging/demanding to be let in... should happen organically. It's not about pressuring someone before they are ready. It's about reading them and seeing they are right there, and holding your arms wide for them to fall into. It's not this way for everyone. Some people, it's finding those moments in the quiet. The pillow talk after an extremely passionate session. The middle of the night after a nightmare. All natural occurrences, and all with the reassurance that that person is there.

For me... I need that someone to beg or demand these things from me. To pull me out of the darkness before I can slip back in and away. I need to know that someone truly desires those parts of me that are raw, ugly, undesirable, laden with guilt, a burden to carry, and more... for me, if they don't ask me for those parts, especially when they are naturally surfacing, then those parts of me will remain in the depths. Untouched, undisturbed, unwanted.

 

[Strixaluco]

Just cuz you can't win in the long haul doesn't mean you can't make a difference.

Also, rather lose love than never have it.

 

[MrMakersMark]

Oh, I hear what you're saying and where you are coming from. I suppose that it's different for everyone. let me think for a moment...

The begging/demanding to be let in... should happen organically. It's not about pressuring someone before they are ready. It's about reading them and seeing they are right there, and holding your arms wide for them to fall into. It's not this way for everyone. Some people, it's finding those moments in the quiet. The pillow talk after an extremely passionate session. The middle of the night after a nightmare. All natural occurrences, and all with the reassurance that that person is there.

For me... I need that someone to beg or demand these things from me. To pull me out of the darkness before I can slip back in and away. I need to know that someone truly desires those parts of me that are raw, ugly, undesirable, laden with guilt, a burden to carry, and more... for me, if they don't ask me for those parts, especially when they are naturally surfacing, then those parts of me will remain in the depths. Untouched, undisturbed, unwanted.

Totally get what you are saying.
But (analogy coming) consider you are in a dark room, no light, desperate to be out. Alone.
Hundreds walk by. Uncaring.
Finally, someone opens the door. Your door.
Not demanding you to come, just holding it open for you.
You see a glimpse of light.
What do you do?
If you don't want out, you'll stay alone in the dark.
If you come out, were you begged, or just wanted?

Being wanted is very powerful.

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

hmmmm

Tbh, this isn’t a thing I worry about much. The very idea of “knowing someone in their entirety” is sorta silly to me. No amount of words can contextualize my lifetime of experience for you. No amount of stories is gonna make you understand me the way my sister who grew up with me does. Or the way my best friends or partners from high school or college or work who lived those experiences with me will.

But I don’t think that really matters. They know who I was and maybe who I am better than a new partner ever will. But who I am today is less important than who we are tomorrow. And next month and next year. The only understanding that matters to me only comes with time and shared experience and it’s never going to be universal.

So I just don’t worry about it. I don’t really hide things. I tell stories that I think are fun or relevant. If I think or recognize I have behavior or reactions that are influenced by things I’ll share that fairly easily. But I don’t really think that completeness is possible or even a goal to strive towards. I trust my heart and my intentions. If I hide something it’s because I didn’t think it mattered or would be helpful to share, which isn’t always right but is what it is. I just accept that all I ever know of my partner is what I know. And I trust that they’ll show me what I need to see. Or I don’t. It’s kinda easier this way for me.

 

[AlexBailey]

Dance pt 2
View attachment 2501017
I posted once about the correlation between dance and dynamics. Tonight, I saw this piece, and it made me pause. The photo reignited that thought process as it spoke to me.

There are a number of things that I see here. Let's start with the beauty of the human body. I think it's so hard for us to remember all the things our bodies are capable of. I remember most when I dance, or watch others dance. The amount of time it takes to learn the moves, the flexibility, the technique, the strength, the balance, etc, going through the pain, the trauma, the patience, the turmoil, the joy, etc as you learn all those things, makes those dances that much more beautiful for you. You can see that hard work in these two humans. Those years of labor it took to get to this moment. I love to just sit here and let my eyes trace the curves, the lines of the muscles, the movement of the pose, and be in awe of what our bodies are capable of.

The other thing I see here is partnership. Some might see one carrying the other, an uneven relationship. No. I mean, yes, he is carrying and lifting and holding her, but she in turn is using her muscles to keep herself from being deadweight. He is preparing for whatever the next move is, something gracefully complex. She, in turn, is prepared to trust that he will move her without dropping her whilst also preparing to do her part. There's no one person doing all of the work. It's a partnership through and through.

That's why I see this as beautiful and inspiring. Now, I'm going to put in a similar picture below, but I want to hear your thoughts on this one! View attachment 2501074
So share! Share what you see and maybe how it correlates to dynamics or relationships

Beauty, grace, discipline, freedom…

I grew up with an older sister, who was into dance, theater, and ice-skating. My first feelings of gender dysphoria came from not being able to be the beautiful dancer she was. She got solos and lead roles, I was in the background in a dance belt and a tutu, trying to blend in with the other tagalong little siblings - all sisters besides me.

A couple of older guys who could really dance were amazing, but I remember wanting to be their dance partner rather than their peer. My sister moved on to training for ice-skating before I was old enough to take dance seriously. Besides, my dad signed me up for little league when he decided I needed the ‘proper’ direction - even wrestling and gymnastics were too ‘gay’ for his son.

Oh well, I don’t think I ever had the grace for high level dancing anyway.

 

[TXRafe]

hmmmm

Tbh, this isn’t a thing I worry about much. The very idea of “knowing someone in their entirety” is sorta silly to me. No amount of words can contextualize my lifetime of experience for you. No amount of stories is gonna make you understand me the way my sister who grew up with me does. Or the way my best friends or partners from high school or college or work who lived those experiences with me will.

But I don’t think that really matters. They know who I was and maybe who I am better than a new partner ever will. But who I am today is less important than who we are tomorrow. And next month and next year. The only understanding that matters to me only comes with time and shared experience and it’s never going to be universal.

So I just don’t worry about it. I don’t really hide things. I tell stories that I think are fun or relevant. If I think or recognize I have behavior or reactions that are influenced by things I’ll share that fairly easily. But I don’t really think that completeness is possible or even a goal to strive towards. I trust my heart and my intentions. If I hide something it’s because I didn’t think it mattered or would be helpful to share, which isn’t always right but is what it is. I just accept that all I ever know of my partner is what I know. And I trust that they’ll show me what I need to see. Or I don’t. It’s kinda easier this way for me.

i think i understand what youre saying and agree conceptually that its more important who we have become and who we are now, rather that who we were. in my case none of those people: my parents, my sisters, my brothers, my friends, understood who i really was, nor did i share with them my inner struggles and trauma. i am who i am today because of my cumulative experiences. its those experiences, those struggles, those traumas that i choose to share as my walls are broken down and i let my partner in. its sharing the why i am who i am today. its the same for trying to get my partner to share. its recognizing that trauma and that pain and that she holds on to it. its the doubts about herself, her body, her authentic self, and letting go of those things so that she can become the best version of herself. that she is willing to share those things with me, when she can, and that the release brings us closer that is so special. i want to know all of her, just as i want to share all of me. if i understand the why, it helps us to communicate better and gives me the ability to offer the love and support she needs without her knowing herself. just a different perspective.

 

[BrendaBear]

So I just don’t worry about it. I don’t really hide things. I tell stories that I think are fun or relevant. If I think or recognize I have behavior or reactions that are influenced by things I’ll share that fairly easily. But I don’t really think that completeness is possible or even a goal to strive towards. I trust my heart and my intentions. If I hide something it’s because I didn’t think it mattered or would be helpful to share, which isn’t always right but is what it is. I just accept that all I ever know of my partner is what I know. And I trust that they’ll show me what I need to see. Or I don’t. It’s kinda easier this way for me.

I wasn't with you until the end here... and that is pretty close to me. But, I lived a lifetime of hiding my most basic characteristics from literally, everyone I knew. I was absolutely terrified someone would find out. My spouses knew a bit, but not even close to all of what was inside. I'm not sure what I thought would happen... but I truly no longer give a shit whether someone accepts me or not. This is me. It's who I am. If you ask me a deep personal question, I'll answer. I'm so fucking sick of holding back in my life, I just won't do it anymore.

I'm pretty sure anyone who gets emotionally close to me now, wouldn't be "let me in"... they'd be "okay, got it. For god's sake, shut the living fuck up!"

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

I wasn't with you until the end here... and that is pretty close to me. But, I lived a lifetime of hiding my most basic characteristics from literally, everyone I knew. I was absolutely terrified someone would find out. My spouses knew a bit, but not even close to all of what was inside. I'm not sure what I thought would happen... but I truly no longer give a shit whether someone accepts me or not. This is me. It's who I am. If you ask me a deep personal question, I'll answer. I'm so fucking sick of holding back in my life, I just won't do it anymore.

I'm pretty sure anyone who gets emotionally close to me now, wouldn't be "let me in"... they'd be "okay, got it. For god's sake, shut the living fuck up!"

Yeah I’m not at all saying anyone should feel the need to live inauthentically for anyone. I am saying that this idea of complete understanding is an illusion. And that focusing on it leads to impossible circles of conversation. Live authentically, seek acceptance. Whatever understanding comes from that will come and is sorta beyond your control.

 

[BrendaBear]

Yeah I’m not at all saying anyone should feel the need to live inauthentically for anyone. I am saying that this idea of complete understanding is an illusion. And that focusing on it leads to impossible circles of conversation. Live authentically, seek acceptance. Whatever understanding comes from that will come and is sorta beyond your control.

Right - because here's some reality... it is all beyond your control. If it isn't me, I have no control. Influence? Maybe. Control? Nope. And I don't even have control over my own future. I have a ton of influence, but the world freaking out over Covid pretty much destroyed my nice little life at that point. I had no control over anything about any of that.

So, to me, anyone who thinks they have control over whatever hasn't driven enough really fast cars...

 

[morelikeasong]

The very idea of “knowing someone in their entirety” is sorta silly to me. No amount of words can contextualize my lifetime of experience for you. No amount of stories is gonna make you understand me the way my sister who grew up with me does. Or the way my best friends or partners from high school or college or work who lived those experiences with me will.

I am saying that this idea of complete understanding is an illusion.

For me, at least, it’s less about someone else understanding me and more about me allowing myself to be seen. And that might include bits of my history that are challenging, but more it’s about being open. Not hiding. Not holding back. Not fearing or people pleasing.

 

[Boat1]

Right - because here's some reality... it is all beyond your control. If it isn't me, I have no control. Influence? Maybe. Control? Nope. And I don't even have control over my own future. I have a ton of influence, but the world freaking out over Covid pretty much destroyed my nice little life at that point. I had no control over anything about any of that.

So, to me, anyone who thinks they have control over whatever hasn't driven enough really fast cars...

Soooo PERFECTLY stated!!!
Kudos and Hat-Tip to ya!!!

 

[Sammysub07]

Chloe! You hands down are one of the best friends I've had in a LONG time! Traveling every 2-4 years with the military for 18 years, puts a road block in maintaining friendships. I am so happy to have met you here! I'm also crazy happy that you're opening this dialogue up. I'm so happy and over the moon for you!

What will you do?

What would I do? What did I do? I answered. I took a chance.

I went from just talking to this great guy in DMs as friends. We connected over a post in a thread and just kept talking. He was a sarcastic, funny, and witty guy. We shared similar experiences, though on the flip side of them.

Then, he sent me a different kind of message. A message that made my jaw drop. I hadn't a clue, but I knew I had to respond. I couldn't not respond to the vulnerability he was showing. Responding was so hard. I was literally in disbelief because the timing was impeccable. It was a day when I was closing the door on something he had no clue about, and there he was telling me how he felt about me; an open door. I responded and we started talking more often, then more seriously, then exploring the depths of our interests in one another.

Now he's My Treasure Keeper. But he's so much more than that. He's been my hope after seven months into my separation. I sure didn't have hope for my personal life until he showed me what hope looks like. He's also my friend, lover, Sir. He wears many hats himself and for me. Now I get to see so much more than sarcastic, funny, and witty. I get to see wonderfully wicked, nerdy, sweet, protective, caring, and thoughtful.

He's the first person I want to hear from in the morning and the last person i want to hear from before I go to bed.

I'm so thankful to him for where we are now. All because he took a chance in telling me how he felt!

My advice? Take the chance!

 

[Chloe_Harper]

Chloe! You hands down are one of the best friends I've had in a LONG time! Traveling every 2-4 years with the military for 18 years, puts a road block in maintaining friendships. I am so happy to have met you here! I'm also crazy happy that you're opening this dialogue up. I'm so happy and over the moon for you!

Sammy I'm so, so happy that we've become such amazing friends as quickly as we have. Location can't stop this bond girl! You're stuck with me

As far as opening this dialogue, I'm just so happy so many people choose to be a part of it. Even with differing opinions.

What would I do? What did I do? I answered. I took a chance.

Now he's My Treasure Keeper. But he's so much more than that. He's been my hope after seven months into my separation. I sure didn't have hope for my personal life until he showed me what hope looks like. He's also my friend, lover, Sir. He wears many hats himself and for me. Now I get to see so much more than sarcastic, funny, and witty. I get to see wonderfully wicked, nerdy, sweet, protective, caring, and thoughtful.

I love this. I love this for you both so much.

I'm so thankful to him for where we are now. All because he took a chance in telling me how he felt!

And because he took that chance, he always will get the win in my book but, I'm so happy you took the chance back. I think it's so beautiful that you've both been on a journey of learning how to be more open and vulnerable together.

My advice? Take the chance!

Yes girl! This isn't to say take with just anyone. Take that chance with that person that makes you feel like you're safe.

Thank you for sharing so much of yourself with us here. Your insights and experiences. Love you bestie

 

[Boat1]

Sammy I'm so, so happy that we've become such amazing friends as quickly as we have. Location can't stop this bond girl! You're stuck with me

As far as opening this dialogue, I'm just so happy so many people choose to be a part of it. Even with differing opinions.



I love this. I love this for you both so much.

And because he took that chance, he always will get the win in my book but, I'm so happy you took the chance back. I think it's so beautiful that you've both been on a journey of learning how to be more open and vulnerable together.

Yes girl! This isn't to say take with just anyone. Take that chance with that person that makes you feel like you're safe.

Thank you for sharing so much of yourself with us here. Your insights and experiences. Love you bestie

I wish I could give your post a thousand s!

 

[Chloe_Harper]

The following images are ones that have kind of spoken to me about what I haven't had in past relationships, but what I crave.
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I might go into specific images at a later time. But, if any of them speak to you, in what you want, need or have, I'd love to hear your thoughts

 

[morelikeasong]

View attachment 2502893

This one. I love being read to. And taking a bath. I have a lot of more explicit bath fantasies but this is up there, too.

 

[Boat1]

The following images are ones that have kind of spoken to me about what I haven't had in past relationships, but what I crave.
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I might go into specific images at a later time. But, if any of them speak to you, in what you want, need or have, I'd love to hear your thoughts

The third one speaks to me, as I'll happily get my Goddess Wife a piping hot towel, get on my knees on the tile floor and edge for Her viewing pleasure while She showers.

 

[kathyisgr65]

View attachment 2489667

Vulnerability comes in many different ways, but this quote speaks to me on a personal level. The physical vulnerability is paired with the mental and emotional kind. Having that much trust in your partner to accept the soft, intimate touches, just as much as the rough, primal ones, that is vulnerability.

I will speak more on that in other posts, but just wanted to share this one now, first.

Shhh.. but yes

 

[TXRafe]

https://media1.tenor.com/m/J6UBSIlkgVMAAAAC/couple-hot.gif
https://media1.tenor.com/m/5PVf5GIvXiUAAAAC/love-touch.gif
https://media1.tenor.com/m/SBfAK2zGIGUAAAAC/romantic-couple.gif

https://media1.tenor.com/m/7_V2TemA1f0AAAAC/lips-mine.gif

https://media1.tenor.com/m/gkresKuJeHcAAAAC/nose-kiss.gif

 

[AlexBailey]

The following images are ones that have kind of spoken to me about what I haven't had in past relationships, but what I crave.
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I might go into specific images at a later time. But, if any of them speak to you, in what you want, need or have, I'd love to hear your thoughts

I see a lot of sweet and cuddly one-on-one time.

My wife and I used to have this between us so much that everyone, including our kids would tell us to get a room.

We still hold hands in public and share a big reclining seat in the movie theater, but menopause and stress at her work have put big dents in our affections lately.

We still have lots of sweet moments.

 

[Noone45]

View attachment 2502892

I want to cuddle with her like we are not two separate beings but one

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I like to read her favourite stories or my love letters while she is enjoying her bath and looking at me with love

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I want to be loved and be a part of someone life and she come home and sleep on top of me and tell me about her day .
As we both enjoy our cuddles and feel safe and secure

 

[MischiefMakerAlways]

And because he took that chance, he always will get the win in my book but, I'm so happy you took the chance back. I think it's so beautiful that you've both been on a journey of learning how to be more open and vulnerable together.

I won - I absolutely won when she began to reciprocate. I should have bought a lottery ticket that day, because I think I would have one.

Yes girl! This isn't to say take with just anyone. Take that chance with that person that makes you feel like you're safe.

Psychological safety is a term I first laughed at when I heard it. With time, I've come to really understand it and appreciate it. In every single aspect of our relationship, we feel safe. That allows us to discuss wildly scandalous things, deeply personal, aspirational, and everything else. Without that safety, there is no foundation.

The following images are ones that have kind of spoken to me about what I haven't had in past relationships, but what I crave.

View attachment 2502894
I might go into specific images at a later time. But, if any of them speak to you, in what you want, need or have, I'd love to hear your thoughts

The kitchen one for so many reasons! The kitchen used to be a place of happiness, but it has turned sour for me. But being in the kitchen with someone I enjoy, someone I'm working alongside, laughing, flirting, and sharing time with - it's just pure. I like the idea of hoisting my little treasure up onto the counter, her wrapping her legs and arms around me, and us leaving the food aside and just kissing and laughing, and sharing in one another.

 

[UnquietDreams]

The following images are ones that have kind of spoken to me about what I haven't had in past relationships, but what I crave.


View attachment 2502893


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I might go into specific images at a later time. But, if any of them speak to you, in what you want, need or have, I'd love to hear your thoughts

These two. The bottom one, because I think making out, slowly teasing, devouring each other, her grinding herself against me on my lap --just making out like teenagers-- is a lost art, and is wonderful just for itself rather than leading to something else. That level of playful intimacy...yes.

And the other one? I love reading, and I love reading aloud to those I care for. In person, and on Lit. I've done studio reading, with scripts and lighting and editing-- and I enjoy that, but I really, really love setting up my microphone in my living room, sitting on my couch like the person I am reading to is laying with their head in my lap (so I can play with their hair, maybe?), with a nice beverage, and the actual, physical book, and just read to them. No editing, so if I have to repeat something, I repeat it. (I read one story that I love, one that affects me and I can get choked up on, so I had to repeat the last paragraph three times to get through it. I almost edited it, but I wanted it to be as real as it could be, so I just apologized and laughed). I love to share ideas, I love the intimacy, I love the words, I love all of it. So that one echos with me.

More than one person has told me that my reading puts them to sleep. I am still not sure how to take that...

 

[Chloe_Harper]

https://media1.tenor.com/m/J6UBSIlkgVMAAAAC/couple-hot.gif
https://media1.tenor.com/m/5PVf5GIvXiUAAAAC/love-touch.gif
https://media1.tenor.com/m/SBfAK2zGIGUAAAAC/romantic-couple.gif

https://media1.tenor.com/m/7_V2TemA1f0AAAAC/lips-mine.gif

https://media1.tenor.com/m/gkresKuJeHcAAAAC/nose-kiss.gif

I so love all of these. I think they highlight similar feelings to the pictures I posted while also bringing something else to the table. Thank you for sharing yours

My wife and I used to have this between us so much that everyone, including our kids would tell us to get a room.

We still hold hands in public and share a big reclining seat in the movie theater, but menopause and stress at her work have put big dents in our affections lately.

We still have lots of sweet moments.

It's hard when there are variables in life that change certain aspects of what we have with that person. However, I love that you still have a lot of sweet moments. That even with those changes, you still make it sound beautiful.

I want to be loved and be a part of someone life and she come home and sleep on top of me and tell me about her day .
As we both enjoy our cuddles and feel safe and secure

I think that's a wonderful thing to see in this photo and want for yourself. Thank you for sharing

The kitchen used to be a place of happiness, but it has turned sour for me. But being in the kitchen with someone I enjoy, someone I'm working alongside, laughing, flirting, and sharing time with - it's just pure.

I am sorry that a place of happiness was ever soured for you. I'm so happy you don't want to keep it that way, and can even envision it changing with a certain someone.

These two.

I do love both of those and I absolutely adore the reasonings you gave for both.

More than one person has told me that my reading puts them to sleep. I am still not sure how to take that...

If someone could make me feel so relaxed reading to me, that I could fall asleep listening to them, I would tell them to take it as the highest compliment. I know that's not the case for everyone. For me though, that would be a huge deal.

 

[BrendaBear]

Chloe, you reminded me of something that was both special to me and hilarious. I am an engineer by trade and disposition. It is simply a part of who I am.

When I think back to my 20 year marriage that ended due to lung cancer, I now see so many things that were super huge to me, things I desperately needed, and did not get. The “why not” is way past being relevant now. What was important was our connection which was beautiful and crazy deep. And when needed, I could start talking about the current engineering problem I was working on and could practically be guaranteed to hear snoring before I was through.

My nerding out on guitars, or cars, or old Schwinns, or sewing or… all of it, generally had the same results. I never once was insulted or put out. Because, I interpreted that as my voice was so soothing and comforting, that sleep would come quickly by choice or not. And that, I took as a beautiful commentary on the bond that we shared.

The fact that neck through bodies, or single coils vs double coil pickups was sleep inducing (maybe coma inducing, I am not sure), was not important. The idea that just the sound of my voice, droning on about something completely uninteresting helped her find a peaceful sleep? That made me happy.


…and left me wide awake…. And still horny… and wondering why nobody nerd talked me to sleep…