A beginners guide for contacting women

[Meekly_Anna]

Yes… there are a lotta wankers on Lit
Presumably that includes those who assume someone presenting views on how not to be a wanker when talking to women couldn’t possibly be a woman…

Don't be so harsh, he removed the post. I like that, despite the fact I prepared such a nice reply, including references to the scholastics.
I want to add that nearly everyone here is a wanker of sorts. Isn't that the reason why we are here?
I admit, I don't like the other type of wankers, though...

 

[ToPleaseHim]

Incidentally, I removed the post for homophobic language.

 

[Meekly_Anna]

Incidentally, I removed the post for homophobic language.

Thank you very much.

 

[JessiQueVix]

I thought for a while about whether I should broach the subject, but my daily experience has shown me that there is a great need:
How do I approach a woman I'm interested in, and how do I do it without spoiling her interest in me with glorious opportunity?
It's not that difficult. Don't worry, we'll give you some examples.

Firstly, the salutation. It doesn't actually contain any useful information other than: look, you're so important to me that I took three seconds to address you.
The salutation doesn't have to be formal. A "Hi Anna" is perfectly adequate. "Dear Ms Anna" would be an exaggeration. "Sub sexy" can be sufficient under certain circumstances, but then an explanatory text should follow. As the only content, this is completely inadequate. The person you are addressing has no idea what you actually want.


The salutation is followed by a brief explanation of why you are actually making contact. "Seen your profile pic and creamed my pants twice already" may be true, but only arouses interest under very specific circumstances. It is better to point out common interests or even show that you can complement each other well. Here too: Be careful! You should stick to the truth, but not be too brief and, above all, not be overbearing. The vast majority of women want to have control over the extent to which they reveal things or allow others into their private sphere. "I'm Dom, doo what I say, or else. Skype?" probably won't work. Perhaps combine the whole thing with a short introduction. It could look like this: "I'm a forty years old father of two, widower and I have a Dom kink. I would be delighted to explore the sub kink I felt in you while reading your story. Do you want to chat with me?" Stuff like that will almost certainly get you at least a polite rejection.
The ladies reading along now have a few examples from practice, as they occur here several times a day and the appropriate reaction to them. I'll leave it at this point as the topic can be very tiring. All the names used here are the product of my imagination. If you actually use them, I am extremely sorry and it is not my intention. I apologise as a precaution.


Cockslinger69: wanna chat
Anna: No thank you sweety, I've just done my hair.

BiCuriousDom: hru doll
Anna: Ah dinnae ken, is it ye?
When Ah staun naked an' wiggle ma wee arse, maist fowk want tae fuck me. Whit aboot ye? Are ye successful wi' twa words?

AlphaBreederBBC: What's up?
Anna: Hi Aunt Beep! I don't know, shouldn't you tell me?

LoveMaster: Ciao Bella, wanna chat?
Anna: Ciao amore mio
No, grazie, non oggi.

A note on the last entry: only use the foreign language if you know it.

CUM GRANO SALIS

And try not to kill me now.

I just enjoyed a lot reading it. Surly they are happening to every woman here. I would suggest that all should read in the context of "what not to do" while contacting a woman. Recommended for everyone.

Btw, @Meekly_Anna why dont you write one for us too as a guide for contacting a man?

I know in virtual life, its rare that a woman is ignored but i have heard from a lot of my friends that sometimes the find someone attractive and get intrigued about him. But as we women are not used to make the approach first, they cant approach or even if they do, there are chances that they will mess up. So why not a guide for all the females here? lets get some experiences ans suggestions.

Thanks.

 

[Meekly_Anna]

I just enjoyed a lot reading it. Surly they are happening to every woman here. I would suggest that all should read in the context of "what not to do" while contacting a woman. Recommended for everyone.

Btw, @Meekly_Anna why dont you write one for us too as a guide for contacting a man?

I know in virtual life, its rare that a woman is ignored but i have heard from a lot of my friends that sometimes the find someone attractive and get intrigued about him. But as we women are not used to make the approach first, they cant approach or even if they do, there are chances that they will mess up. So why not a guide for all the females here? lets get some experiences ans suggestions.

Thanks.

A marvellous idea. I'm all in favour of equal rights, and even if it's hard to believe, sometimes women are a bit awkward too. Or simply stupid.

Meekly_Anna: Hello sweetie, I read your story about how you cheat on your wife. I think it's just mega cool! I'm still totally wet and I've already helped myself three times. Do you want to see?
Your old lady doesn't even know what she has in you. From your description, she must really be a nasty scarecrow. No wonder you're cheating on her. You wrote that you've done it before.
You don't seem to live far away. Shall we meet up sometime? But only with a rubber.
Why do you have two accounts? In this one you write only romantic and implausible nonsense and the hot stuff in the other one.
2Romance: Dear Anna, thank you very much for contacting me. Your admiring words have made me see my husband, with whom I share this account, in a whole new light. I'm really looking forward to getting to know you in person. We can meet at my house, but I'm afraid that my husband won't attend. Sexual intercourse is also likely to be difficult for him in the next few decades, as I will be removing his testicles with a rusty teaspoon immediately after sending you this.

Well, what went wrong here?
It's quite simple. Girls, don't bang the door down. Maybe the other person doesn't want any contact at all, or at least not in the way you would like. Just ask carefully. If you're in the pub, you smile in a friendly way first instead of lifting your skirt to show him your hairstyle.

 

[Meekly_Anna]

Very well.
We've seen what can go wrong. Of course, there are countless other possibilities, but before we look at those, how do you do it right? How do you make contact with a man?
In real life, of course, it's quite simple: you let him think he's making contact and then generously give him some of your valuable time. Girls, you know how to do it. A glance in his direction at the right time, or two if the victim, sorry, the guy doesn't realise at first, then a slight smile, look away, wait for him to look back and then look in his direction just long enough for him to think he's got you. Then brush your hair behind your ears, look down coyly, smile.... And you've got him.
Easy peasy.
But how do you do it here? Stupidly, you have to get down to his level and write to him. I know, it's as silly as it is annoying, but it has to be done.
The problem is that you have to put so much confidence into it that you don't sound like a twelve-year-old who secretly slips her crush a pink heart letter in class, but you're still so cute that you seem completely harmless. It's a fine line between slut and virgin, but unfortunately that's what guys think they want.

"Hello sweetie, I noticed you straight away. "
That's as implausible as it is stupid. If you get away with it, you're a disgrace to everyone who has two functioning X chromosomes and richly deserve the sucker who falls for it.

"Sorry to just write to you, I absolutely love your stories. I'd love to get to know you better. "
You can write like that. At least if you ask for an interview for the school magazine. The approach isn't that bad.
For heaven's sake, don't start with an apology. He wants something from you, not the other way round. He just doesn't know it yet.

"Hello, I'm Anna. I think your stories are pretty good and I really enjoy reading them.
Why did you let Lisa die in the third part? I actually liked the character best. By the way, I find your nasty humour very amusing."
You see, you're showing interest because he now knows that you've invested valuable time in reading his story, you even praise his story, but not effusively, and you tell him that he has something you value. Now he has justified hopes that if he writes to you, you might be interested.

You can even throw in a few well-meaning insults if it suits your character. Surprisingly many blokes like that. But be careful and don't overdo it. Firstly, you don't want to come across as a bitch and secondly, men are extremely sensitive and vulnerable....
So, when you're done laughing, imagine the following situation: you've successfully lured the victim into your bedroom, he's already been allowed to touch your breasts and you're watching him as he awkwardly drops his trousers.
"Oh, how cute. It's still growing though, isn't it?"
As I said, sensitive and vulnerable.
Nice girls don't do that and even help with the secrets of the bra hooks.

 

[SmokingFap]

Very interesting thread, Anna. I'm surprised I haven't run across it before.

 

[SmokingFap]

A big yes to all the above. Most men who message me don't get a reply because why should I communicate with idiots?

The ones who get a response from me are usually intelligent and articulate and in complete sentences, maybe even paragraphs, and show me that the guy has something interesting to say. Or will make an observation about a post of mine and want to open a discussion.

It's a shame that Lucy isn't around anymore. She was a lot of fun to chat with.

 

[SmokingFap]

I’m not giving up hope I can learn Cantonese in my old age. I’m hoping it won’t turn into an extinct language.

Klingon works for me, but only with an extremely finite group of women.

 

[magic_rat]

It's a shame that Lucy isn't around anymore. She was a lot of fun to chat with.

She was a lot of fun in person as well.

 

[magic_rat]

I'm pretty sure there are a lot of men here who are more than willing to chat with a woman in a male body, so why trying to fool you?

Not sure I've ever chatted to a trans person on here but I've dated two trans women, and have trans friends.

As for the fakes... usually easy to spot after a short conversation. I could name several, but why should I? It's their thing, and I don't kink-shame.

Have a little bit of faith in the goodness of mankind.

I like that. There are more good people than bad on this earth, and you reap what you sow. Be good to others and they will usually treat you well. When people message me I'll take their posts in good faith unless they give me good reason not to.

 

[Xxllrs69xx]

Had no idea people attempted to communicate in this manner.

Absolutely bloody hilarious.

 

[calmlikeabomb]

Thanks for sharing.

Can I steal the name Cockslinger69? It's hilarious, and as someone who used a rather wierd name in the past when I was younger and stupider, I can completely empathize with having to open your inbox and seeing an utterly ridiculous name.

 

[Noor]

Cockslinger69: wanna chat
Anna: No thank you sweety, I've just done my hair

BiCuriousDom: hru doll
Anna: Ah dinnae ken, is it ye?
When Ah staun naked an' wiggle ma wee arse, maist fowk want tae fuck me. Whit aboot ye? Are ye successful wi' twa words?

lol! Love it!

 

[calmlikeabomb]

Reading through the whole thread again and there were a couple of times when I almost spat out my coffee. I hope you won't take offense when I say that your responses remind of Jimmy Carr putting down hecklers.

 

[RP_Goals]

I had promised examples, which now follow here. First, I'll show you how not to do it and then give you an example of how you could do it.

12inch_shlong: I will fuck your arse until u puke cum!
(Sends dickpic)
Anna: I'm impressed. 12 inches! You are huge! It's big enough that you can bend forward and blow yourself while wanking easily. Why don't you just do that, then?
(Blocks user)

Despite the fact that the sentence is at least complete - let's ignore the spelling - this example makes some obvious mistakes for the outside observer.
Firstly, you shouldn't start a conversation with a threat. I have already shown you how to start a conversation.
Then it is usually undesirable to send a picture of your own genitals without being asked. Of course, there are people who enjoy looking at them. But the attentive writer should first make sure that the recipients also want this.
Let us consider a more appropriate approach.

12inch_shlong: Dear Anna, I'm a well equipped man in the middle of my twenties. You probably guessed the size already. I love showing off and dream of forcefully penetrating women. You seem to be willing and submissive. Would you like to explore this with me? I'm more than willing to show you pictures of me and would delighted if you return the favour.
Anna: Dear Shlong, thank you very much for the kind offer. Let me start with the fact that I really like to be ravaged, but sadly I'm way too small for you. Even an average one, which is way below your dimensions!, is painful for me if I don't get the time to adapt. As fascinated as I am, I must decline. I know that there are many women out there who's would love to be contacted by you and love to exchange pictures. I will make sure to send those I find in your direction.

Tina_2Ds: Hey fucktoy, wanna have a good time?
Anna: May, yes, of course. But what does that have to do with you?

In the example above, a lot has already been done correctly. Tina has chosen a form of address and described what she is talking about. However, there is still room for improvement.

Tina_2Ds: Hello Anna, I'm a lesbian and I live with my wife. Our problem is that we are both very dominant. We can't live that out together. From your stories and your username, I can see that you at least have a submissive side. Are you interested in women, or do you like men? If it can also be women, we would be very happy to hear from you.
Anna: Dear Tina, thank you very much for your interest in my stories. Yes, I also like women. I can be very dominant and I really enjoy that, but most of the time I'm submissive and obedient. What are you two up to?

BBC_Mastercock: yo bitch, breeding time!
Anna: Good to hear that you have a good time at the chicken pen. I'm so intrigued, tell me more
(Blocks user)

Some things have been done right here too. Nevertheless, many women will find it a little too direct.

BBC_Mastercock: Hi Anna, my name is Francis. As you have probably guessed already, I'm a black man with a breeding fetish. Have you ever had sex with a person of colour? Or is that a no go for you? I'm just asking because some people have racial prejudice. I like your stories and love your mean humour.
Anna: Dear Francis, as you've seen on my pic for sure I'm white. Therefore a lot of people assume that I have prejudices. I'm not sure about it but I try not to have them and if I have overcome them. Actually, I had a crush on a guy from Africa, but I found out that he's queer. That was a little bit awkward. However, if you want to exchange ideas and some sexting if we find that we like each other, sure, I would like that.

As you can see, a polite approach is very much appreciated. And as soon as the stakes are set one can be as rough, gentle, dominant, submissive, or whatever your kink is, be within these stakes.
Provided all participants agree.

[Content removed by moderator. Pay attention to where you are. Do not address people in this forum in the manner in which you wrote this response.]

 

[RP_Goals]

Thank you very much.

Sticks and stones.
Are you that weak minded you need to censor speech? You're better and stronger than that.
Take it easy. Best of luck.

 

[RP_Goals]

[Content removed by moderator]

Ok this was too harsh. My apologies. I wont delete because I enjoy looking back at the dumb things I say sometimes.

 

[KatieDoes]

I'm not looking for trouble when I say this but I think women here if they are contacted properly and respectfully should at least reply to the person sending the message.
I always attempt to be polite and respectful when I message someone and it mildly perturbs me when the person doesn't even say no thank you, I'm not interested. I mean common courtesy. I get the women here probably have multiple randoms waiting on them and it can be tedious but are they that overwhelming.
I know it's not a requirement, I'm just sayin'.

No one owes their time and attention to a random stranger who sends them unsolicited messages.

 

[KatieDoes]

I agree, but courtesy is nice

Sending unsolicited messages and holding entitled expectations to a response is not courteous.

 

[RP_Goals]

Sending unsolicited messages and holding entitled expectations to a response is not courteous.

Its neither It is simply your response. And fyi a stranger is just a "friend" you haven't met. We all start as strangers it's where we end up that matters. Does better!

 

[RP_Goals]

I agree, but courtesy is nice

Nice is fake.

Have you ever walked into a store and a man or woman.....a stranger says hello how are you? You are non required in the least to respond to them, but do you not feel it a courtesy to say something back?

I never said I was entitled, nor do I think anyone is required to do anything. I am only saying its the courteous thing to do.

Exactly you can be polite while being cussed out if you choose to.

 

[RP_Goals]

No one owes their time and attention to a random stranger who sends them unsolicited messages.

you should read self made man by Nora Vincent

 

[Ssbbw4u1974]

I don't mind being contacted, but I'm sure it's been said.. It's better if I've interacted with you on the threads first, before you send me a message.

 

[KatieDoes]

Its neither It is simply your response. And fyi a stranger is just a "friend" you haven't met. We all start as strangers it's where we end up that matters. Does better!

Have you ever walked into a store and a man or woman.....a stranger says hello how are you? You are non required in the least to respond to them, but do you not feel it a courtesy to say something back?

I never said I was entitled, nor do I think anyone is required to do anything. I am only saying its the courteous thing to do.

Since you both seem unwilling or unable to listen to the perspective of women, I would invite you to spend some time on this site as a woman. Create an account with a woman’s name, leave your status set to visible, use a marginally attractive photo as your avatar, and get back to me in a month.