A beginners guide for contacting women

[velona]

Thank you! Seems weird but I’ve never navigated this side of the site before. Appreciate the response

 

[Meekly_Anna]

Thank you for writing this! I’ve been reading on literotica for 20+ years but never made an account. Been spending more time on the site lately because reasons and finally made an account to better track and organize the stories I’d like to come back to. I was not prepared for the number of “wanna chat?” messages! No idea if it is just rude to ignore but also don’t feel the desire to engage with that kind of outreach.

Also, not sure if this is an ok place to ask, but is there an easy way to see what stories someone has favorited from their username link in a conversation? I click and it shows profiles but not favorites/lists. Maybe I’m just not good at navigating this site yet..

Thank you very much. I had lots of fun writing it and really appreciate it if others have fun reading it.

 

[Meekly_Anna]

I think I would like to add another one here for good measure.

Lonely_Loony: Dear Anna,
As you know, as I have told you countless times, you are the love of my life, the light of my existence and the joy of my days. I have read all your posts over and over again and now I know that you reciprocate my feelings.
This is my last post to you for a few hours because I'm on my way to the airport. I know roughly where you live and I will find you. Then you can finally leave your husband and we'll go far away together. There are still a few rooms available on my parents' farm, so we can live together. Of course I will adopt your children after our wedding. I've already spoken to our preacher. He'll baptise you in front of our congregation, even though you've been living in sin.
My parents have also agreed that we will live with them. Your children are also welcome, but of course they will have to work. I have already organised places in our church school, where their false beliefs will be burned away with the fire of our true believe with great understanding and Christian compassion, so that they will see the light.
You, oh love of my life, will run the household and be happy, as I will provide you with everything you need.
See you soon, the taxi is here!
Meekly_Anna (hides in the cellar in panic and regrets having ever used the internet)

My dear readers, yes, I mean all eight of you, if you are attracted to a person on this sex site, then you have my full understanding. I feel the same way as you. I also like some people here very much.
But
please never confuse the image with the thing itself. Every person is unique in their being, and all you see is the twitching shadow of that person on the cave wall.
You may fall in love here, I hope that your feelings will be reciprocated. But don't necessarily assume that. This is not real life. You are only showing what you want to show. In the same way, you only see what is shown to you.
For some of you, the picture you show of yourselves is beautiful. For others, not so much. And it's only a picture, not the person.
Do yourself and everyone else a favour and don't interpret your wishes into a person.

 

[Meekly_Anna]

Things were way easier back in the day when you could just club them and drag them back to the cave..
The hardest part about all of it was remembering to drag them by the hair instead of the feet so they didnt fill up with twigs and leaves..
Now we gotta figure out how to seduce them with words and pics and gifs and memes or whatever other voodoo they are into ..
oh btw... Sup girl?

The interesting thing about men, some of them, is that they return to age-old jokes like a dog to its vomit.
But well, you've made an effort within your means and I'm confident that at some point you'll meet someone of your preferred gender who finds you amusing. I wish you a pleasant rest of your life.

For those who are interested: this is Anna in tetchy mode.

 

[Meekly_Anna]

LMFAO I swear I heard a click and a dial tone like you hung up on me.
Good work young lady

You are welcome.
Glad to help.

 

[FreckledSprite]

A note on the last entry: only use the foreign language if you know it.

I knew I went wrong by not learning an endangered language.

 

[Meekly_Anna]

I knew I went wrong by not learning an endangered language.

Which extinct language doth thou mean?

 

[FreckledSprite]

Which extinct language doth thou mean?

I’m not giving up hope I can learn Cantonese in my old age. I’m hoping it won’t turn into an extinct language.

 

[Meekly_Anna]

I’m not giving up hope I can learn Cantonese in my old age. I’m hoping it won’t turn into an extinct language.

You'll have to hurry. There are only 86 million speakers left.
Why not learn something common instead? Aramaic or Ladin perhaps.

 

[velona]

I recommend going for Esperanto

 

[Meekly_Anna]

Volapük?

 

[SteveXR]

I thought for a while about whether I should broach the subject, but my daily experience has shown me that there is a great need:
How do I approach a woman I'm interested in, and how do I do it without spoiling her interest in me with glorious opportunity?
It's not that difficult. Don't worry, we'll give you some examples.

Firstly, the salutation. It doesn't actually contain any useful information other than: look, you're so important to me that I took three seconds to address you.
The salutation doesn't have to be formal. A "Hi Anna" is perfectly adequate. "Dear Ms Anna" would be an exaggeration. "Sub sexy" can be sufficient under certain circumstances, but then an explanatory text should follow. As the only content, this is completely inadequate. The person you are addressing has no idea what you actually want.


The salutation is followed by a brief explanation of why you are actually making contact. "Seen your profile pic and creamed my pants twice already" may be true, but only arouses interest under very specific circumstances. It is better to point out common interests or even show that you can complement each other well. Here too: Be careful! You should stick to the truth, but not be too brief and, above all, not be overbearing. The vast majority of women want to have control over the extent to which they reveal things or allow others into their private sphere. "I'm Dom, doo what I say, or else. Skype?" probably won't work. Perhaps combine the whole thing with a short introduction. It could look like this: "I'm a forty years old father of two, widower and I have a Dom kink. I would be delighted to explore the sub kink I felt in you while reading your story. Do you want to chat with me?" Stuff like that will almost certainly get you at least a polite rejection.
The ladies reading along now have a few examples from practice, as they occur here several times a day and the appropriate reaction to them. I'll leave it at this point as the topic can be very tiring. All the names used here are the product of my imagination. If you actually use them, I am extremely sorry and it is not my intention. I apologise as a precaution.


Cockslinger69: wanna chat
Anna: No thank you sweety, I've just done my hair.

BiCuriousDom: hru doll
Anna: Ah dinnae ken, is it ye?
When Ah staun naked an' wiggle ma wee arse, maist fowk want tae fuck me. Whit aboot ye? Are ye successful wi' twa words?

AlphaBreederBBC: What's up?
Anna: Hi Aunt Beep! I don't know, shouldn't you tell me?

LoveMaster: Ciao Bella, wanna chat?
Anna: Ciao amore mio
No, grazie, non oggi.

A note on the last entry: only use the foreign language if you know it.

CUM GRANO SALIS

And try not to kill me now.

That is good stuff.....very much enjoyed this one!

 

[Meekly_Anna]

That is good stuff.....very much enjoyed this one!

Glad to help.

 

[SteelPoint]

And exactly what, dear Anna, does one do when one's suspicions are aroused that "Hi Anna" should more appropriately read "Hi Andrew"..?

You know, like they most certainly ought to be with well over half of the female-sounding usernames on the site..?

 

[bforbeatrice95]

I've really enjoyed this and I hope at least one person benefitted from it and has changed their messaging approach.

I'm not sure if this is a shared experience but I would also like people to be considerate of how many messages female users receive and not assume they're owed a response. It's an instant shut down for me if I feel like the other person feels they have a right to my time.

 

[Meekly_Anna]

And exactly what, dear Anna, does one do when one's suspicions are aroused that "Hi Anna" should more appropriately read "Hi Andrew"..?

You know, like they most certainly ought to be with well over half of the female-sounding usernames on the site..?

That's quite simple. Just do it like you are used to do during every first date.
Greet her politely, go down on your knees in front of her and then carefully lift her skirt and check if her penis is larger then yours. If not, congratulations, she's a woman.
If yes, she's a woman too, of course.
Let's just hope she brought enough lube or you will learn some harsh truths about anal.

Ok, joking aside, why don't you just ask?
And considering where we are, why should she lie to you? I'm pretty sure there are a lot of men here who are more than willing to chat with a woman in a male body, so why trying to fool you?
Have a little bit of faith in the goodness of mankind. And if it fails you, do as I do when I'm disappointed with one of my bosses: just tell yourself, ok, let's call it a day, I do something nice for me, but boss is still a wanker and will always be.

 

[Meekly_Anna]

I've really enjoyed this and I hope at least one person benefitted from it and has changed their messaging approach.

I'm not sure if this is a shared experience but I would also like people to be considerate of how many messages female users receive and not assume they're owed a response. It's an instant shut down for me if I feel like the other person feels they have a right to my time.

I stopped counting. And that was before I started this threat.
Wanna see some first contact dickpics?
Kidding.
I never safe them.

Don't lose hope. Don't people inhere are quite nice. The not so nice ones are pretty often nice too, when they successfully overcome their awkwardness.
Of course, some are wankers, but you will find out pretty quickly about them

 

[SteelPoint]

Ok, joking aside, why don't you just ask?

Duh... because he will simply lie and continue with the con attempt.

No, I'll just continue with the tactic which has a near 100% proven track record of success: consider to be Johns-in-frocks all those members of Literotica who have adopted a female-sounding username.

Simples.

And I recommend it to all males here.

Joking not just to one side but under the bridge, down the river and out to sea...

 

[Meekly_Anna]

Duh... because he will simply lie and continue with the con attempt.

No, I'll just continue with the tactic which has a near 100% proven track record of success: consider to be Johns-in-frocks all those members of Literotica who have adopted a female-sounding username.

Simples.

And I recommend it to all males here.

Joking not just to one side but under the bridge, down the river and out to sea...

You raise a very interesting point. I was once on another forum and had a female-sounding user name.
Well, I was flooded with messages that left nothing to be desired in terms of their explicitness. Exactly what you would expect from a sex site. Unfortunately, it was an online role-playing game suitable for young people.
I couldn't care less, as I'm starting out as an adult myself, but it really got on my nerves. That's why I changed the username to a rather masculine-sounding one. Bad mistake. I didn't realise how many swear words there are for non-heterosexual women. I don't play the game anymore.
When I started here, I deliberately didn't choose a neutral name. I'm of the opinion that people should be adult enough to behave like adults here. In short, they are not. But it's not too bad, you can block people, and here I expect sexual "offence". Ultimately, that's why I'm here.

To you: to paraphrase Cartesius, the only thing you know for sure is that you can't know for sure.

 

[QwertyMaster]

The best way of contacting women? "Hey there good looking, I gotta bucket of chicken." Works every time (60% of the time.)

 

[SteelPoint]

You raise a very interesting point. I was once on another forum and had a female-sounding user name.
Well, I was flooded with messages that left nothing to be desired in terms of their explicitness. Exactly what you would expect from a sex site. Unfortunately, it was an online role-playing game suitable for young people.
I couldn't care less, as I'm starting out as an adult myself, but it really got on my nerves. That's why I changed the username to a rather masculine-sounding one. Bad mistake. I didn't realise how many swear words there are for non-heterosexual women. I don't play the game anymore.
When I started here, I deliberately didn't choose a neutral name. I'm of the opinion that people should be adult enough to behave like adults here. In short, they are not. But it's not too bad, you can block people, and here I expect sexual "offence". Ultimately, that's why I'm here.

To you: to paraphrase Cartesius, the only thing you know for sure is that you can't know for sure.

I assume you mean Descartes. I prefer Pascal.

I need not "paraphrase" but can actually quote SteelPointius verbatim: "life is too short always to be giving the benefit of the doubt on moronic websites".

If it looks like a con, feels like a con and acts like a con...

 

[Jimmy119_190]

Ok, joking aside, why don't you just ask?
And considering where we are, why should she lie to you? I'm pretty sure there are a lot of men here who are more than willing to chat with a woman in a male body, so why trying to fool you?
Have a little bit of faith in the goodness of mankind. And if it fails you, do as I do when I'm disappointed with one of my bosses: just tell yourself, ok, let's call it a day, I do something nice for me, but boss is still a wanker and will always be.

There are a lot of fake profiles on here, largely profiles made to look like women but clearly aren’t. I’ve seen a number using clearly fake photos, and attempting to catfish and mislead.

That’s different to the scenario of a woman living in a man’s body and wanting to be treated as a woman. There’s plenty of that, and visa versa, which is fine and more power to those people who have found a place to express themselves honestly.

I don’t think that’s what was meant though, it’s the fakes (who baffle me for starters) who are presumably have some nefarious motivations for creating such a profile.

 

[Meekly_Anna]

I assume you mean Descartes. I prefer Pascal.

I need not "paraphrase" but can actually quote SteelPointius verbatim: "life is too short always to be giving the benefit of the doubt on moronic websites".

If it looks like a con, feels like a con and acts like a con...

Cartesius is the Latin name of Descartes.
I agree on Blaise Pascal, he's also a great scientist and philosopher.

 

[Meekly_Anna]

There are a lot of fake profiles on here, largely profiles made to look like women but clearly aren’t. I’ve seen a number using clearly fake photos, and attempting to catfish and mislead.

That’s different to the scenario of a woman living in a man’s body and wanting to be treated as a woman. There’s plenty of that, and visa versa, which is fine and more power to those people who have found a place to express themselves honestly.

I don’t think that’s what was meant though, it’s the fakes (who baffle me for starters) who are presumably have some nefarious motivations for creating such a profile.

These people you are referring to I categorise as wankers.

 

[MiaBabe23]

A really good one would be... ooh, let me see... oh yes... to assume the guise of an adviser on how best to approach women..?

Yes… there are a lotta wankers on Lit
Presumably that includes those who assume someone presenting views on how not to be a wanker when talking to women couldn’t possibly be a woman…