Why are you back here?

[hot hugo]

Year after year, time after time, I come crawling back to this place. Jekyll and Hyde, but it’s just me with my eyes cast low and my hand between my thighs and my phone in the other again, because maybe this time is the time I’ll find someone who can hold a mirror up in a position I can actually see myself in.

Because that’s really it, isn’t it? We want to be seen, heard, known, understood. Dissected and analyzed and broken down and figured out. We want to know why we are the way we are and why we don’t want to change. Why does it make me feel this way?

The definition of insanity is… blah blah blah.

That’s why I’m back. Why are you back?

The urges comes and goes… there are things that can only happen or start here… things I would not do on real, things I can not talk about in real…

I try to focus on real life and then the urge comes back… and then I am back again…

It’s a bit like a pandorra’s box.. once open, you can’t close it any more.

 

[EvaLane]

It sounds like we need a support group I can’t imagine the absolute destruction that would lead to.

Bravery or insanity. Courage or damnation.

My therapist is not going to be happy about this information when she hears it years from now while I pretend everything is going great right now. Maybe I should start a journal for her now so she can catch up faster when the time is right.

 

[LR42]

I have been on and off lit for about 10 years, I have come back with the same user name or differnet ones. It depends on how I am feeling.

Sometimes it gets a bit full on, or I find it is taking up too much of my time, so I leave. However, it often pulls me back. I originally came here for support during a tough time, and some people here really helped me. I don't see any of them here anymore, and they'll never know what a great help they were.

Like many here, I like talking about sex. I like to learn about what turns people on. I like the openess here, of being able to explore and learn about peoples likes and dislikes. I feel comfortable here, with other open people.

I think experience of the site over the years helps with the approach. You are more aware of how some people are, better at spotting fakes, less trusting, and acknowledging that people online can be whoever they want.

In the end, it is the escapism, and excitement, that brings me back.

 

[MarcusTanner]

I come back because I believe that beauty can only be found in the moment everything else is just memory.

 

[hot hugo]

It sounds like we need a support group I can’t imagine the absolute destruction that would lead to.

Bravery or insanity. Courage or damnation.

My therapist is not going to be happy about this information when she hears it years from now while I pretend everything is going great right now. Maybe I should start a journal for her now so she can catch up faster when the time is right.

Or we support each other here

 

[BansheeDaddy23]

I'm back because, well I guess because sometimes life gets boring and you need to add a little spice. So here I am back in the spice cabinet....

If you’re looking for spice, would you mind giving me the Thyme? I know that joke isn’t very oregano but it’s no big dill.

 

[LostHorizon]

I ask myself this question every day.

This place is an irresistible train wreck of humanity. I just can’t stop looking.

 

[KyleR215]

I have been on here on a somewhat regular basis. I find that when I leave for any extended period of time it is because something in real life gets in the way. I also have found that I will miss extended periods of time when I find other outlets for my needs like having a relationship with a woman.

When I end up back here it is because i am just any other horny guy looking to get off and fulfill my needs. And this isn't the only place. It could be other sites too like video sites or finding chats with women on line and the such.

So that is basically why I am here.

 

[Dishrag]

Mostly here cause I am older ((50’s)) and my significant other no longer wants to be significant to me. I get lonely (and damnit needy). I have found and enjoyed some significant long term relationships on here. Had someone to share with, talk to, and really get to know.

 

[cutcrystal899]

Back because I had two worthwhile connections here in the past and after time away am looking to connect again.

 

[Meaghansstories]

I'm here because this is a space where I can shamelessly share some of my deepest fantasies. It feels like a place where I can shout into the void, but the void actually answers back.

 

[Justabaldguy70]

I'm here because this is a space where I can shamelessly share some of my deepest fantasies. It feels like a place where I can shout into the void, but the void actually answers back.

But do you like the voids answers?

 

[kevinbrighton]

Painfully simple. The ability to talk really really dirty, privately, with similar dirty minded people. Plus, of course, an opportunity to share privately some of the actual sexual incidents of my life that I cannot share publicly, either because they are too embarrassing or I have promised to take them to the grave.

 

[Meaghansstories]

But do you like the voids answers?

The void's answers are not the problem. I neither like nor dislike the void's response. But I despise the things I shout into the void. They feel like a cancer inside of me. And I convince myself that if I say these things and share these stories, they will leave me. But they never do.

 

[EvaLane]

The void's answers are not the problem. I neither like nor dislike the void's response. But I despise the things I shout into the void. They feel like a cancer inside of me. And I convince myself that if I say these things and share these stories, they will leave me. But they never do.

Yep

 

[SouthernMatureM]

The void's answers are not the problem. I neither like nor dislike the void's response. But I despise the things I shout into the void. They feel like a cancer inside of me. And I convince myself that if I say these things and share these stories, they will leave me. But they never do.

Do you despise them because they are evil, or maybe because you were told to believe they are evil? I'm not judging, just curious about this dichotomy inside of you.

 

[Meaghansstories]

Do you despise them because they are evil, or maybe because you were told to believe they are evil? I'm not judging, just curious about this dichotomy inside of you.

Probably because I was told they were evil. Growing up as a boy in the Mormon religion didn't really align itself very well with wanting to wear dresses.

 

[SissyBJBitch]

I'm here because this is a space where I can shamelessly share some of my deepest fantasies. It feels like a place where I can shout into the void, but the void actually answers back.

Yup *blushes*

 

[KuriousCupid]

There is a lack that calls us here and unites us, and it creates an irresistible community of absence in the present.

 

[EvaLane]

I wonder why, all the clouds cleared from the sky
I wonder why, all of the tears dried from my eyes

Just a bunch of wonderers, aren’t we?

Do you despise them because they are evil, or maybe because you were told to believe they are evil? I'm not judging, just curious about this dichotomy inside of you.

Being unable to tame something so consuming that it affects your body, your brain, your soul - it’s damaging. It tears you up. If you weren’t a discombobulated, compartmentalized zombie before - well, you will be soon unless you find a way to quiet those urges.

But then when you start, it’s so hard to stop. You don’t want to stop, but that feeling of I know this is wrong starts to build and soon your brain, body, and soul are split again trying to rationalize, excuse, and reason why this time is different than last time.

And then it’s quiet again, for a bit. Only a little bit, though.

I think it’d be pretty nice to wake up and be able to have a nice soft romantic little pet session and not have to actually envision the worst for myself, but, here we are. Simple has always been boring for me, anyway. Oh well.

 

[Wildfly11]

Like a lot of people I was first attracted by the stories and then later became a member -2007. Although I never officially left I definitely go through cycles of intensity depending upon what is happening in my life which one way or another has an affect on my sex drive or my need for intimacy and human connection. Sometimes I am here everyday and sometimes it's months.

The anonymity allows me to be 100% honest and express my true feelings and desires without shame or guilt...okay sometimes I still feel the guilt .

I am also intrigued by the experiences of others and revel in their personal freedom and ability to let go of societies expectations/norms in seeking or expressing their sexually.

 

[Niartila_22]

I started reading stories on here around 2009 but never explored the forums. I didn’t realise how much I would enjoy reading about other people’s fantasies, reading other people’s realities and what they’re here looking for.
I’m happily married but my husband isn’t as dominating as I fantasise about him being. We have had some wonderfully intense sex over the years, just thinking about the times where he has controlled when I can cum, when he’s spanked me, tied me up, fucked my face makes me so wet, but it isn’t his go to! He also prefers me to initiate sex where as I would enjoy being taken when and wherever he pleases, but he doesn’t think like that! So I guess that’s another reason now to come on here to share the times I’ve felt truly used
I also fantasise about women using me, I have always found the idea of being controlled by a lesbian or a present for a couples pleasure turns me on but have never had the opportunity! Well… I did have one beautiful woman seduce me but I was too anxious about what my then boyfriend (we got married years later) would think. Perhaps something I’ll share another time!

 

[chapter6plan]

I have curiosities and yearnings that are unfulfilled at home. I don't know who I might have been if I had had an earlier introduction to sex. I can't talk about these with my wife, so I'm here to explore what might have been without risking what is. That said, I have found a couple of opportunities to explore, but they are quite rare.

 

[MrMikelobe1952]

Year after year, time after time, I come crawling back to this place. Jekyll and Hyde, but it’s just me with my eyes cast low and my hand between my thighs and my phone in the other again, because maybe this time is the time I’ll find someone who can hold a mirror up in a position I can actually see myself in.

Because that’s really it, isn’t it? We want to be seen, heard, known, understood. Dissected and analyzed and broken down and figured out. We want to know why we are the way we are and why we don’t want to change. Why does it make me feel this way?

The definition of insanity is… blah blah blah.

That’s why I’m back. Why are you back?

There is no reason to have your eyes cast down.. no reason to be ashamed. This community includes many warm, accepting people who will not judge you and will accept you as you are.

 

[EvaLane]

There is no reason to have your eyes cast down.. no reason to be ashamed. This community includes many warm, accepting people who will not judge you and will accept you as you are.

Oh they accept me they accept me, encourage me, and press on my desire to continue down the path of dangerous behaviours.

Eyes cast low not due to shame, but fear, because I know I’ve already succumbed to everything yet to come. I can’t play pretend anymore, I’m here, inviting in the worst of the worst into my inbox.

Lit does have some of the nicest people though, you’re right. I’ve always thought that