Sexless Marriages

[tristantrotsky]

It is tough living without sex. There are so many on Lit that are experiencing this. It is a terrible club to be a member of. It's been 3 years for me. He still wanted to hug and kiss hello sometimes but it was actually too hard for me to have a tiny bit of affection and never having anything else at all. It is emotionally draining. Sigh

We are all in this crazy thing together... But look across the Literotica dialogues and there’s so much sadness and frustration as relationships are tested to the limits. Behind all the fantastic exploits and explicit scenarios there's so much unhappiness too. Women who are not getting the satisfaction they need from insensitive partners. Men who ache for better sex lives than they’re getting from unresponsive wives. The loneliness of people who are denied rewarding relationships at all. And we all fret over those missed opportunities and failed loves in our past, when things went wrong and fell apart.
There’s no answer. Negotiating our gender needs is a minefield. We get to live just once. When we fuck up we seldom get another chance to put it right.

 

[Playblues2020]

The most frustrating part of my situation is my wife admits to having no interest in sex but anything I suggest she talk to her Drs about she says she has already talked to them and they have no advice or suggestions to turn it around. She knows I am very sexually frustrated but just doesn't seem to care. Makes me feel like an asshole who just wants sex all the time. Shit, I'd be happy with a hand job or blow job every couple weeks. Maybe a fuck ever couple months. I don't feel like I'm being unreasonable wanting to have sex with my wife.
Am I just a selfish asshole wanting to have sex with my wife?

 

[NoUseForAnyName]

The most frustrating part of my situation is my wife admits to having no interest in sex but anything I suggest she talk to her Drs about she says she has already talked to them and they have no advice or suggestions to turn it around. She knows I am very sexually frustrated but just doesn't seem to care. Makes me feel like an asshole who just wants sex all the time. Shit, I'd be happy with a hand job or blow job every couple weeks. Maybe a fuck ever couple months. I don't feel like I'm being unreasonable wanting to have sex with my wife.
Am I just a selfish asshole wanting to have sex with my wife?

No, you just are aware of your (sexual) needs. I wouldn't necessarily assign any blame, neither to her nor to you. But in my opinion, you are definitely not being unreasonable.

 

[Greytruck]

Our marrage sexless now for 10 years now.. she really has little interest
Her issue is menopause thinned her vagina walls so anything going in her hurts.
Her gyno said there are things she can use. Steroids and other things too.
But she dosent even want to give it a try..
Kinda hurts she dosen't desire me enough to even try.

 

[Playblues2020]

Our marrage sexless now for 10 years now.. she really has little interest
Her issue is menopause thinned her vagina walls so anything going in her hurts.
Her gyno said there are things she can use. Steroids and other things too.
But she dosent even want to give it a try..
Kinda hurts she dosen't desire me enough to even try.

I feel the same. We've been married 23 years. And the sexy started drying up about 9-10 years ago. We had a very difficult conversation about our issues and how she seems content to never have sex again and how it hurts that she has lost all desire for me.

 

[Greytruck]

I feel the same. We've been married 23 years. And the sexy started drying up about 9-10 years ago. We had a very difficult conversation about our issues and how she seems content to never have sex again and how it hurts that she has lost all desire for me.

Yeah that’s us now… wasn’t how I pictured retirement.
Not working, kids all moved out.. we have the time
But no desire

 

[Playblues2020]

Yeah that’s us now… wasn’t how I pictured retirement.
Not working, kids all moved out.. we have the time
But no desire

Exactly. I love her but this fucking sucks.

 

[Greytruck]

Exactly. I love her but this fucking sucks.

Yeah I understand you.. it dose suck

 

[blksoldier]

To be truthful the signs were there and I ignored the thinking that i could possibly change things. I think that our libido's didn't match but love allows you to overlook the smaller things in life. secondly I've learned that quality supersedes quantity. i am more adventurous towards sex, she was old fashioned strictly missionary and routine. our sex life had stopped for a long time but we are making efforts to overcome the lack of sex. when communication stops everything suffers.

 

[Lemmetri]

Yeah I understand you.. it dose suck

Sounds like it doesn't get sucked enough. Lol.

 

[Trubbycat]

I've lost track... five years? More? Less?

 

[Lemmetri]

I'm just having fun. I don't intend to minimalist a difficult situation. I'm in a similar situation where she says it hurts and has minimal interest. A nice massage is enough for her. Once every few months we do play with toys which is great but not often enough!

 

[FunNSpice]

I'm just having fun. I don't intend to minimalist a difficult situation. I'm in a similar situation where she says it hurts and has minimal interest. A nice massage is enough for her. Once every few months we do play with toys which is great but not often enough!

You just wrote about my situation and I think many guys here are in the same boat - thanks to lit we have an outlet

 

[FunNSpice]

To be truthful the signs were there and I ignored the thinking that i could possibly change things. I think that our libido's didn't match but love allows you to overlook the smaller things in life. secondly I've learned that quality supersedes quantity. i am more adventurous towards sex, she was old fashioned strictly missionary and routine. our sex life had stopped for a long time but we are making efforts to overcome the lack of sex. when communication stops everything suffers.

Very well said - indeed, communication about sex dies too

 

[Lemmetri]

You just wrote about my situation and I think many guys here are in the same boat - thanks to lit we have an outlet.

Part of the challenge is that the love, caring, and friendship are all there. But the sexual outlet is missing. Since there is no sex drive by one partner sharing ideas and fantasies found on lit are not received even if there is an opportunity to talk about sex.

 

[Stucoy101]

The most frustrating part of my situation is my wife admits to having no interest in sex but anything I suggest she talk to her Drs about she says she has already talked to them and they have no advice or suggestions to turn it around. She knows I am very sexually frustrated but just doesn't seem to care. Makes me feel like an asshole who just wants sex all the time. Shit, I'd be happy with a hand job or blow job every couple weeks. Maybe a fuck ever couple months. I don't feel like I'm being unreasonable wanting to have sex with my wife.
Am I just a selfish asshole wanting to have sex with my wife?

Same boat - frustrating is right.

 

[TemptationTango]

Our marrage sexless now for 10 years now.. she really has little interest
Her issue is menopause thinned her vagina walls so anything going in her hurts.
Her gyno said there are things she can use. Steroids and other things too.
But she dosent even want to give it a try..
Kinda hurts she dosen't desire me enough to even try.

Same

 

[B0bbyshaft0]

Anyone else with this problem?
I have a high sex drive and the wife doesn't.
Looking for others with this problem, and possibly helping fill our needs.

I’m 76 and horny as fuck. Sometimes wish my sex drive would diminish but no! I went thro a period of promiscuity 15 years ago. Fucked my way round some encounter sites. Great fun. Always treated my partners with respect and cherished their orgasms. Helped a couple of widows find their sexuality again after losing their husbands and sexual self confidence. Need a voluptuous queen for sensual adventures.

 

[B0bbyshaft0]

Same boat - frustrating is right.

No you’re not but sex with an unwilling woman is a total no no. Tell her you are going to find pleasure elsewhere.

 

[B0bbyshaft0]

Same

Go elsewhere. The internet is full of opportunities for sex.

 

[What_Motivates_a_Man]

I had this problem with not a marriage, but a long term relationship. Went on for more years than I could care to remember. That relationship had, for some time, greatly fucked my perception of sexuality and my existence as a man. The relationship had become abusive and I devolved into an alcoholic who would sleep a bottle of whiskey a night to fall asleep next to her.

Boy, let me tell you; once I had the balls to end that relationship, the flood gates opened. Pandora's box was unsealed. No getting the worms back into the can.

Dated a couple women after, had my first threesome at 30, married a younger woman who often shares me with her friends, the list goes on.

My only regret is even stepping foot in that relationship, if I knew then what I know now, etcetera.

It can get better.

 

[TemptationTango]

Go elsewhere. The internet is full of opportunities for sex.

I am/have.

 

[B0bbyshaft0]

I am/have.

Did it work for you

 

[B0bbyshaft0]

Over a period of years I found gratification with a dozen women on the net. It was easier on those days. Saved my marriage.

 

[LustyScribe]

You want to know what painfully stupid looks like? Believing for the 9,000th time that she means it when she says she's going to put more effort into putting intimacy into the marriage. Then finding out she has no more intention of putting effort into it that she did the first time or the 90th time. Just a little mercy fuck or (lately) reluctant hand job, then she's back to reading books and ignoring everything I do. I've just been strung along (40th anniversary coming up) so that, at this point, she figures I'm stuck with her, which I kind of am.
All I've wanted was a wife I could shower love and affection on, and yes, bring pleasure to, as well. Instead, I've got nothing more than a platonic roommate. Sorry to rant, this is about the only place I feel safe doing so. Ready to just disappear into the wilderness. Hell, wolves have more natural affection than exists here.