The more vanilla my wife gets, the kinkier I become

[Cuddlycarebear]

My wife (call her “M”) and I are mid-50s and we are “Happily Married.”

After 15 years of marriage, her appetite for sex has diminished, especially in the last 6 months. I’ve gained 40 pounds since 2020. I have mild erectile dysfunction yet my libido is unchecked.

She would say my masturbation habits are like a 14 year old’s, “You should go for a walk, and read more books…” It bothers her.

We started dating in high school and continued for two plus years. We’d been pen pals for the year prior, which had created even more anticipation. We lost our virginity to each other and I couldn’t keep my hands off of her. She gave me so many blowjobs, I assumed she really enjoyed them. In hindsight, our teenage relationship progressed too quickly and was too intense: there was no logical next step. We were deeply in love yet knew we were too young to marry. We were emotionally and psychologically unprepared for it to end. But I wanted some “freedom” as a college Freshman. We had some kind of compromise, then got back together, and then I cheated on her. Dumb. But I couldn’t undo it. We didn’t speak for 20 years. Actually, that’s not true: we spoke once.

I called her two weeks before the wedding (I was 25) hoping to hear just a hint of possibility. I would have called it off, but didn’t have the courage to come right out and ask, “would you consider taking me back if I Called off my wedding?” In hindsight, it was silly to think you would call your first love (after telling her you’re getting married in two weeks) and expect her to talk you out of it. So I married the wrong woman but never quit thinking about M.

After my divorce, we reconnected, and got married in our 40s, a miracle considering all the pain I had caused her. She hadn’t married before, and the passion of that torrid two years reverberated into our new marriage.

As recently as a 3 years ago, we had sex once a week. We flirted. We went on dates. Now it’s once or twice per month. Sometimes, we skip a month. And there are no blowjobs: not (really) in the past 14 years. It’s simply OFF the menu. It turns out she HATED giving head (and swallowing most of all) but her 20 year old self didn’t have the courage to say No. She assures me that “no woman actually ENJOYS giving head, and they ALL think semen is gross.” The fact I enjoyed fellatio so much (with the same woman) 40 years ago makes it doubly hard to let it go. But we aren’t kids anymore, and she feels like she already paid her dues.

She enjoys her Hitachi Magic Wand and I consider “him” a partner whether we have intercourse or simply bring her to orgasm. She enjoys having sex with me and she is multi-orgasmic. She always seems very satisfied. I know her professional and household responsibilities wear her down. There is always more I should be doing to reduce the burden of those chores on her. But it’s never enough. She is frequently exhausted and finds solace in Chardonnay. I go to bed before here, and she arrives 2 hours later, drunk, but too tired to even exchange words.

She resents the fact I masturbate to porn and says it’s a turnoff (like an “other woman”). They might as well be cartoon characters to me: a two dimensional alternative to a more creative sexual relationship with each other.

The more disinterest I feel she has towards me, the more gratification I have found in self-pleasure and exploration of kink and taboos. It started with ball-spreaders and nipple clamps, cock rings, self-CBT. She thought it was all ridiculous. My exhibitionist kink advanced to masturbating on webcam (usually past a paywall to avoid being displayed to the public at large) and tighter and tighter chastity cages, bigger dildos and longer edging sessions. My biggest thrill is when she gives me permission (by text) to release and then “makes” me eat my cum. She’s

Should I come clean and tell her I am going nuts with the routine of plain vanilla sex, or seek counseling (couples or on my own)? I simply cannot divorce her. We have so many other things in common (True Love first and foremost) and a fragile 13 year old daughter. And I didn’t work out of town for a while and the stress of single-parenting nearly killed her (and included a broken wrist, surgery and a few other maladies). Now I telework 100% and she needs me here to keep up the meals and chores.

If you are seeking a friend to chat with i would be interested.

 

[SapitoHipo]

O

 

[One_ping_only]

I know (knew) a couple of guys like you, with similar situation (sexless marriage). I was the one who gave them what they needed - fucking. Didn't give shit that they were married, adults make choices. The one advice I gave each and every one of them is to be honest with themselves and if possible with their partner. Don't be married to someone you're not interested in. And if there's true love between partners, both should do their best to keep the relationshop live.

I give credit where credit is due. Not all heroes wear capes

 

[SapitoHipo]

“May I please have your permission to cum?” is my new favorite game: then it’s up to my wife (or online Mistress) to choose my fate. She can make me continue to edge, grant me permission to cum, or deny me the orgasm and make me take an ice cold shower. Nothing makes a cock soft like ice cold water. My head spins just thinking about it.

 

[SPARTAN047]

I enjoy the chastity too!

 

[SapitoHipo]

She came home late last night, about two hours after the bookstore closed. She had a whiff of cigarette smoke in her clothes. I asked her if she’d gone to a bar and she said no, she’d been at the casino. I asked her if she won anything and she said Yes, and I’m going to give you half…$700 and she peeled of seven Benjamins. She was clearly tipsy and wanted to shower right away. I was half asleep when she came to bed and she didn’t wake me. I woke up at 2am and checked the hamper. She’d rolled up her towel and put it underneath my jeans. I took the towel downstairs and unrolled the towel and pulled out her panties. She’d clearly run them under the faucet and they still reeked of cum and even had a tinge of blood on them. She’s definitely fucking someone. But I’m afraid she’ll deny it if I ask.

 

[Cardinal]

Pics which I previously deleted out of privacy concerns

It’s incredible what men will to to their cocks for fun

 

[Xxxmmmxxx47]

My wife (call her “M”) and I are mid-50s and we are “Happily Married.”

After 15 years of marriage, her appetite for sex has diminished, especially in the last 6 months. I’ve gained 40 pounds since 2020. I have mild erectile dysfunction yet my libido is unchecked.

She would say my masturbation habits are like a 14 year old’s, “You should go for a walk, and read more books…” It bothers her.

We started dating in high school and continued for two plus years. We’d been pen pals for the year prior, which had created even more anticipation. We lost our virginity to each other and I couldn’t keep my hands off of her. She gave me so many blowjobs, I assumed she really enjoyed them. In hindsight, our teenage relationship progressed too quickly and was too intense: there was no logical next step. We were deeply in love yet knew we were too young to marry. We were emotionally and psychologically unprepared for it to end. But I wanted some “freedom” as a college Freshman. We had some kind of compromise, then got back together, and then I cheated on her. Dumb. But I couldn’t undo it. We didn’t speak for 20 years. Actually, that’s not true: we spoke once.

I called her two weeks before the wedding (I was 25) hoping to hear just a hint of possibility. I would have called it off, but didn’t have the courage to come right out and ask, “would you consider taking me back if I Called off my wedding?” In hindsight, it was silly to think you would call your first love (after telling her you’re getting married in two weeks) and expect her to talk you out of it. So I married the wrong woman but never quit thinking about M.

After my divorce, we reconnected, and got married in our 40s, a miracle considering all the pain I had caused her. She hadn’t married before, and the passion of that torrid two years reverberated into our new marriage.

As recently as a 3 years ago, we had sex once a week. We flirted. We went on dates. Now it’s once or twice per month. Sometimes, we skip a month. And there are no blowjobs: not (really) in the past 14 years. It’s simply OFF the menu. It turns out she HATED giving head (and swallowing most of all) but her 20 year old self didn’t have the courage to say No. She assures me that “no woman actually ENJOYS giving head, and they ALL think semen is gross.” The fact I enjoyed fellatio so much (with the same woman) 40 years ago makes it doubly hard to let it go. But we aren’t kids anymore, and she feels like she already paid her dues.

She enjoys her Hitachi Magic Wand and I consider “him” a partner whether we have intercourse or simply bring her to orgasm. She enjoys having sex with me and she is multi-orgasmic. She always seems very satisfied. I know her professional and household responsibilities wear her down. There is always more I should be doing to reduce the burden of those chores on her. But it’s never enough. She is frequently exhausted and finds solace in Chardonnay. I go to bed before here, and she arrives 2 hours later, drunk, but too tired to even exchange words.

She resents the fact I masturbate to porn and says it’s a turnoff (like an “other woman”). They might as well be cartoon characters to me: a two dimensional alternative to a more creative sexual relationship with each other.

The more disinterest I feel she has towards me, the more gratification I have found in self-pleasure and exploration of kink and taboos. It started with ball-spreaders and nipple clamps, cock rings, self-CBT. She thought it was all ridiculous. My exhibitionist kink advanced to masturbating on webcam (usually past a paywall to avoid being displayed to the public at large) and tighter and tighter chastity cages, bigger dildos and longer edging sessions. My biggest thrill is when she gives me permission (by text) to release and then “makes” me eat my cum. She’s

Should I come clean and tell her I am going nuts with the routine of plain vanilla sex, or seek counseling (couples or on my own)? I simply cannot divorce her. We have so many other things in common (True Love first and foremost) and a fragile 13 year old daughter. And I didn’t work out of town for a while and the stress of single-parenting nearly killed her (and included a broken wrist, surgery and a few other maladies). Now I telework 100% and she needs me here to keep up the meals and chores.

Mmm chastity cages… i wish my husband would watch porn and jerk for me… shes wrong … some women love head and cum…

 

[SPARTAN047]

I get desperate to be touched in chastity so much.

https://ibb.co/QNpXzrg

 

[Andreas_Kreuz]

Lets try to get some structure into this.
She goes off without telling you where she is.
She comes home late, claims to have won 1400$ at a casino, and rinses her panties.
Her interest in sex only has diminished for the last six months.
So, why do you ask her? Follow her and find out where she goes. She is asking for it.
Your kinks all seem to go into the submissive humiliation direction.
I believe there is a fair chance that she cannot deal with this well if she has a mindset of a strong dominating man.
It is absolutely fine to have these kinks. But in the relationship you cannot allow yourself to be degraded. (And what she does is degrading) In a relationship, you have to defend your boundaries and stand up for them.
I'd say the first thing you need to do is assert if she does indeed cheat.
If yes you must come up with a plan.
Divorce? Open marriage? Move out temporarily (That was what I did)

 

[SapitoHipo]

I appreciate your thoughtful and compassionate reply. In the abstract, I have had cuckholding fantasies that are incredibly arousing. I’ve shared them with her and she always said she had no interest in other men. I have acted in both dominant and submissive roles in the bedroom, and feel the exchange of power is a key component of arousal. But I don’t feel humiliated, just left out. We have never had much necessity of hiding our attraction to celebrities or others we find attractive. She’s always been attracted to Colin Firth, James Taylor, and Adam Levine. And other men who are skinny, rugged and have tattoos. But the psychological appeal isn’t humiliation, rather the fact that she is experiencing lust that she was unable to resist, the fantasy of a wanton woman (and the opposite of a wife who has lost interest in sex, or at least sex with me). I want her to feel that exhilarating rush of adrenaline up her neck and down into her limbs. The pounding heart as her panties hit the floor and she knows she is about to get fucked by a man who isn’t her husband. I don’t begrudge her for wanting more, but I wanted her to share it with me. My friend suggested the reality of being cuckholded is often less desirable than the fantasy of it. But I’m not feeling jealous so much as excluded.

 

[SapitoHipo]

[ material prohibited per our forum guidelines]

 

[SPARTAN047]

Lets try to get some structure into this.
She goes off without telling you where she is.
She comes home late, claims to have won 1400$ at a casino, and rinses her panties.
Her interest in sex only has diminished for the last six months.
So, why do you ask her? Follow her and find out where she goes. She is asking for it.
Your kinks all seem to go into the submissive humiliation direction.
I believe there is a fair chance that she cannot deal with this well if she has a mindset of a strong dominating man.
It is absolutely fine to have these kinks. But in the relationship you cannot allow yourself to be degraded. (And what she does is degrading) In a relationship, you have to defend your boundaries and stand up for them.
I'd say the first thing you need to do is assert if she does indeed cheat.
If yes you must come up with a plan.
Divorce? Open marriage? Move out temporarily (That was what I did)

Agreed. If you don't want to be humiliated, don't allow her to do it and control the structure of the marriage.

 

[Uncut1969]

I have done this wife gives no sex ! Tryed to put in my ass but a no go so I sucked it while jacking off in shower and then cummed on it and cleaned it!

 

[SPARTAN047]

At least you had some fun. Sexless marriages are hard.

 

[Bigboobbabe]

She sent it to me when I was working out of town for two weeks

Smart woman.
I did that with my ex and he thought I had taken them for someone else because we had never done this.
I sent him a video and he said he couldn't enjoy it because it was short.

He is the only man who has ever disliked my pics and video.

 

[Dreadman1]

He is the only man who has ever disliked my pics and video.

My grandma was always a Debbie Downer. I would ask her how her day was and she'd say it was no good cause it was raining all day.

Needless to say, any reply of "What do you care, YOU'RE 90!" didn't seem to land with her.

I sure would be appreciative of whatever my wife sent me...alas, she does not.

 

[Bigboobbabe]

My grandma was always a Debbie Downer. I would ask her how her day was and she'd say it was no good cause it was raining all day.

Needless to say, any reply of "What do you care, YOU'RE 90!" didn't seem to land with her.

I sure would be appreciative of whatever my wife sent me...alas, she does not.

I am sorry your wife doesn't share.

Sharing my photos, whether I was a size 18 or 28, and having men appreciate me was the best that happened to me.

I had not been happy with my breasts after a weight loss. They are hangers, not full and perky.
I asked some of my fans if I should get a breast lift.

I received a resounding NOOOOO! From so many people.

Comfortable in my own skin. I hope that never changes.

 

[Dreadman1]

Comfortable in my own skin. I hope that never changes.

^There is nothing more attractive than this.

 

[Bigboobbabe]

^There is nothing more attractive than this.

Thank you! XOXO

 

[CanuckKitty]

I just read through this thread, and now I have to know - is there an update??

 

[OldSoldier96]

I am sorry your wife doesn't share.

Sharing my photos, whether I was a size 18 or 28, and having men appreciate me was the best that happened to me.

I had not been happy with my breasts after a weight loss. They are hangers, not full and perky.
I asked some of my fans if I should get a breast lift.

I received a resounding NOOOOO! From so many people.

Comfortable in my own skin. I hope that never changes.

Last part….very sexy and attractive

 

[LisaMayTurner]

If she is in her menopause, you really need to learn a bit about what it is and talk to her with some love in your learning. She's probably as annoyed and frustrated as you seem to be, but there are ways through it.

However, if you are making this up for a route to thrills online, then enjoy your fantasies.

 

[SmokingFap]

I am sorry your wife doesn't share.

Sharing my photos, whether I was a size 18 or 28, and having men appreciate me was the best that happened to me.

I had not been happy with my breasts after a weight loss. They are hangers, not full and perky.
I asked some of my fans if I should get a breast lift.

I received a resounding NOOOOO! From so many people.

Comfortable in my own skin. I hope that never changes.

I know this is really old, but I had to respond. I happen to love "hangers", have a very strong preference for them, and I know there are many guys just like me. But get the breast lift if it makes you feel better about yourself and makes those huge boobs a bit more manageable.

 

[SmokingFap]

If she is in her menopause, you really need to learn a bit about what it is and talk to her with some love in your learning. She's probably as annoyed and frustrated as you seem to be, but there are ways through it.

However, if you are making this up for a route to thrills online, then enjoy your fantasies.

I absolutely agree with all of that. I will also add that, in talking with many older women on here, menopause affects women in vastly different ways, both during and after. But men should absolutely love and support their women (yes, sexually too) regardless of how it affects them, because unlike hair color or weight or wardrobe, women have absolutely no control over what menopause does to them.