Tips for Creating Stories Women Appreciate

[Imakewetspots]

I’ve been writing off and on for the past few years and I enjoy it immensely as a hobby. I have no interest in making a living from it or using it to segway into meeting people. That said, I am always wanting to improve. My ultimate goal would be to write stories that women truly enjoy. Based on the comments I currently get, it would appear men love my stories. It’s nice to hear but still not my target audience. And I get few comments from women so it’s hard to know what women might think about them. Unless the lack of female comments is basically answering my question.

It is my belief that I write great romantic stories but I probably am way too graphic in the sex scenes. Perhaps even to the point of crudeness from a woman’s perspective. I have nothing to support this. Just a gut feeling.

For the past couple years, I’ve tried to read stories from women hoping they would be writing a story they find personally erotic. But I’m also forced to consider many of the writers are trying to build a name in the hopes of someday earning a stream of income from their work. If so, I expect they would write for their audience rather than themselves.

If you’re getting the vibe that I’m overthinking, you’re probably right. I often do.

So, any tips on how to tweak my stories to be more appealing to women? And what areas do women prefer most? (I assume romance).

 

[TarnishedPenny]

Well, one big difference (yes, tendencies, bell curves and generalization warnings!) is that men tend to be more interested in the action, while women are more interested in the emotions. That certainly doesn't mean men aren't interested in romance or emotions and it certainly doesn't mean than women don't enjoy the act, but it's a starting place. A story in which the characters spend a bit of time wondering about how they feel, in which the Insert-Tab-A-into-Slot-B proceedings don't take an immediate priority, will generally do better with a female audience.

 

[Imakewetspots]

Thanks @TarnishedPenny My stories tend to be 20-30k words on average and I generally spend thousands of words trying to set up the story, character development, chemistry, etc long before anyone gets naked. For most of my stories anyway. I enjoy the very long build up before things get hot. Too many pages of graphic sex can get boring and it sometimes feels like the sex gets to be the same each time they do it but all the stuff before, in between, and after can be totally unpredictable and steamy.

As I published more stories, I started getting comments like ‘I usually skip straight to the action but as I got into it, I reread the entire story and enjoyed the whole thing.’ I have to assume comments like that are coming from men but it’s still a good compliment to hear I pulled a reader into spending time to read it all.

I suppose I’m also asking if women, in general, prefer the softer, gentler language like, ‘manhood’ vs. ‘cock.’ If so, I want to experiment with my word choices.

 

[mildlyaroused]

Boring male characters are a big one. Often (especially in stories which focus on sex more than anything else) men write male characters as simple conduits for sex: they have no personality, their physicality is not described, they aren't assertive yet they still get the hot female lead to pine over them somehow. This makes sense, since most men will naturally focus on the women in their story because that's what they find interesting. But women like interesting men too. That doesn't mean you have to spend hours describing the man's body, but he should have traits which his partner would find attractive (physical and personality wise). Very few women in real life would throw themselves at a statue man who sits around and lets her do all the work (even if he's rich). He has to be emotionally fulfilling for her needs.

The same goes for female characters. If we see a woman drop everything for a man she barely knows, we won't find it engaging beyond the physical sex, because we can't relate to her. If we don't know anything about her other than she's hot, blonde and super horny, she becomes little more than a porn star. She needs to be fleshed out. Give her as much attention as your male leads in terms of character. The relationship between them should be dynamic, with both parties offering rich personalities, since seduction is a game of psychology after all. Interesting characters will have hotter stories (in my eyes) because the psychological/emotional side to sex is as or more important than the physical side.

The sex itself should also serve both the man and the woman. This seems obvious, but I've seen plenty of stories where very little attention is given to the girl in bed. What does she like? What gets her going specifically? Unless they have some sort of submissive kink, most women don't want to just serve a man in bed. Most women won't reach orgasm just by relentlessly riding their partner who sits back and watches with a big silly grin. Purely penetrative sex often isn't enough, and as much as a woman might enjoy giving a man she's into a bj, that won't make her orgasm. Both parties need to put in effort to make the sex enjoyable for everyone. Men have ten fingers and a tongue. There's a lot of fun to be had if they give the woman some proper attention.

These are pretty generalised observations, and they seem fairly obvious, but the difficult part is putting them into practice. I haven't read your writing, @Imakewetspots, so I don't know how well you write already. It may be that you don't need to consider any of this because you write like this automatically, but many writers here apparently don't.

An easy way to improve is by writing some first-person female POV stories. That forces you to focus on her needs, her emotions, and it forces you to describe what she finds attractive in her male counterpart.

 

[AG31]

I’ve been writing off and on for the past few years and I enjoy it immensely as a hobby. I have no interest in making a living from it or using it to segway into meeting people. That said, I am always wanting to improve. My ultimate goal would be to write stories that women truly enjoy. Based on the comments I currently get, it would appear men love my stories. It’s nice to hear but still not my target audience. And I get few comments from women so it’s hard to know what women might think about them. Unless the lack of female comments is basically answering my question.

It is my belief that I write great romantic stories but I probably am way too graphic in the sex scenes. Perhaps even to the point of crudeness from a woman’s perspective. I have nothing to support this. Just a gut feeling.

For the past couple years, I’ve tried to read stories from women hoping they would be writing a story they find personally erotic. But I’m also forced to consider many of the writers are trying to build a name in the hopes of someday earning a stream of income from their work. If so, I expect they would write for their audience rather than themselves.

If you’re getting the vibe that I’m overthinking, you’re probably right. I often do.

So, any tips on how to tweak my stories to be more appealing to women? And what areas do women prefer most? (I assume romance).

I'm interested in the difference between men and women as regards tastes in erotica, so I skimmed your stories. I don't know if it's a problem that they are all(?) from the POV of men. I'd like to find out. For myself (female), I only gravitate to erotica from the POV of men. But I'm sort of a rare bird.

Your stories are very relational, and conventional wisdom says that that would appeal to women.

So I don't have any advice, but I'll be interested in other responses to your question.

 

[NotWise]

What have I learned?

@TarnishedPenny is always right.

Make your female characters realistic. A lot of men's female characters are porn facades.

If you're going to post to Romance, make sure you know what a Romance is.

Romance readers are both male and female. You might find a higher concentration of female readers in Gay Male or even in Lesbian Sex.

There's a vast range in what female readers want. It might be a mistake to try to tailor your story to what you think they want.

Let your readers know what motivates the male character. We often assume that's understood, and maybe it isn't.

 

[Imakewetspots]

@mildlyaroused thanks for all the excellent detail. I think much of that was something I needed to hear!

For instance, I put some effort into describing a guy but not nearly as much as the ladies. I guess I never thought of it since I don’t size up men in that way but you’re right and I can’t believe I’ve been overlooking something so obvious.

I have several stories that are finished but unpublished, just basically waiting for me to fine tune and edit. I think I’m going to reread your advice and go give one of those stories a good adjustment to see how it works!

 

[Kasumi_Lee]

So, any tips on how to tweak my stories to be more appealing to women? And what areas do women prefer most? (I assume romance).

82% of readers of mainstream romance are female, and romance books generate at least $1 billion a year in sales. Go figure.

 

[Imakewetspots]

I'm interested in the difference between men and women as regards tastes in erotica, so I skimmed your stories. I don't know if it's a problem that they are all(?) from the POV of men. I'd like to find out. For myself (female), I only gravitate to erotica from the POV of men. But I'm sort of a rare bird.

Your stories are very relational, and conventional wisdom says that that would appeal to women.

So I don't have any advice, but I'll be interested in other responses to your question.

I think I might try to write something with more of a female pov. It might be difficult being a guy but it sounds like an interesting challenge.

 

[Imakewetspots]

What have I learned?

@TarnishedPenny is always right.

Make your female characters realistic. A lot of men's female characters are porn facades.

If you're going to post to Romance, make sure you know what a Romance is.

Romance readers are both male and female. You might find a higher concentration of female readers in Gay Male or even in Lesbian Sex.

There's a vast range in what female readers want. It might be a mistake to try to tailor your story to what you think they want.

Let your readers know what motivates the male character. We often assume that's understood, and maybe it isn't.

Good advice. I guess I do tend to describe the ladies in my stories as being ‘over the top’ beautiful as well as sexually. Might be worth toning that down slightly to make them more normal, more realistic, more relatable. Thanks.

On the gay male and lesbian categories, honestly, I would feel like a fish out of water. I’ve read a few nicely written works but I don’t know if my writing skills can cover areas I have zero life experience with.

 

[Imakewetspots]

82% of readers of mainstream romance are female, and romance books generate at least $1 billion a year in sales. Go figure.

Might have to try reading a few myself to get some ideas!

 

[gunhilltrain]

I think I might try to write something with more of a female pov. It might be difficult being a guy but it sounds like an interesting challenge.

Since you brought this up, try writing stories with a female narrator. It took me a while (I've been here six years) before I could attempt that. So far no one has complained that I've got the "tone" (right word?) wrong. One of them is an existing character that I reused in new stories. Do you want to look at any of them?

Keep in mind that comments are difficult to get here and that seems to becoming more so. The scores were generally pretty good.

 

[NotWise]

Good advice. I guess I do tend to describe the ladies in my stories as being ‘over the top’ beautiful as well as sexually. Might be worth toning that down slightly to make them more normal, more realistic, more relatable. Thanks.

On the gay male and lesbian categories, honestly, I would feel like a fish out of water. I’ve read a few nicely written works but I don’t know if my writing skills can cover areas I have zero life experience with.

I've never written to those categories either. I mentioned it because it illustrates what you're up against. Your target audience has interests that aren't yours.

For my part, if I want to reach women in the audience, then I try to write realistic characters of both genders. For me, that isn't as easy as it sounds.

 

[Imakewetspots]

Since you brought this up, try writing stories with a female narrator. It took me a while (I've been here six years) before I could attempt that. So far no one has complained that I've got the "tone" (right word?) wrong. One of them is an existing character that I reused in new stories. Do you want to look at any of them?

Keep in mind that comments are difficult to get here and that seems to becoming more so. The scores were generally pretty good.

I’ll check out your stuff on Lit. Thanks

Already, while doing the leaves, I started forming an idea for a short story with a woman recounting (maybe remorsefully) the previous night’s events where she had a little too much to drink while out with friends and got kinda wild. It would be from her pov only and I think I’ll try writing first person which I typically don’t try.

 

[Omenainen]

I run an annual event for women-centric erotica, Pink Orchid. You might want to check that out.

 

[lovecraft68]

Oh boy, here we go....

 

[Erozetta]

For what it's worth, I have stories up for sale on sites, but only write for myself. A lot of authors do the same.

What appeals to me is the why of things. Why does she like him? Why does she want to fuck him in particular? Why is she in this situation to begin with? Why does he behave that way? Why is he interested in her?

The who, what and where are almost always laid out, sometimes to an annoying degree, but the why is often left on the sidelines as unimportant.

The why needs to be deeper than "hot person=fuckable" or "story about fucking, so fucking needs to happen and these are the ones that are gonna fuck."

Drawing out the tease and making the sexual tension between the characters palpable as you read is extremely appealing. Getting into the heads of one character, showing why it *shouldn't* happen and why it gets stalled is more interesting than immediately boning.

Demons are a plus for me. Romantic demons especially so. Lovers starting as either enemies or friends is the perfect "why" for not fucking. "This bastard is trying to get me fired. I'll get him fired instead..." or "Ugh, we're friends... acting on this fantasy will ruin the friendship and it's *hard* to make friends as an adult..." adds tension that isn't too harsh or emotionally draining, which is often a relief (and a reprieve from my own work at times) because you don't have to invest too much into the story or characters.

8-15k is the sweet spot for reading for me unless I really like it. If I like it I can probably binge it in a week at 100k+ (as long as work and life don't get in the way like it has been lately.)

What I like isn't necessarily what other or even most women like. I prefer powerful to gentle and rough to sweet. Cruelty from a partner doesn't appeal to me, though.

Ultimately, it comes down to "I know what I like when I'm reading it." (Or writing it as the case may be.)

 

[Imakewetspots]

For what it's worth, I have stories up for sale on sites, but only write for myself. A lot of authors do the same.

What appeals to me is the why of things. Why does she like him? Why does she want to fuck him in particular? Why is she in this situation to begin with? Why does he behave that way? Why is he interested in her?

The whole, what and where are almost always laid out, sometimes to an annoying degree, but the why is often left on the sidelines as unimportant.

The why needs to be deeper than "hot person=fuckable" or "story about fucking, so fucking needs to happen and these are the ones that are gonna fuck."

Drawing out the tease and making the sexual tension between the characters palpable as you read is extremely appealing. Getting into the heads of one character, showing why it *shouldn't* happen and why it gets stalled is more interesting than immediately boning.

Demons are a plus for me. Romantic demons especially so. Lovers starting as either enemies or friends is the perfect "why" for not fucking. "This bastard is trying to get me fired. I'll get him fired instead..." or "Ugh, we're friends... acting on this fantasy will ruin the friendship and it's *hard* to make friends as an adult..." adds tension that isn't too harsh or emotionally draining, which is often a relief (and a reprieve from my own work at times) because you don't have to invest too much into the story or characters.

8-15k is the sweet spot for reading for me unless I really like it. If I like it I can probably binge it in a week at 100k+ (as long as work and life don't get in the way like it has been lately.)

What I like isn't necessarily what other or even most women like. I prefer powerful to gentle and rough to sweet. Cruelty from a partner doesn't appeal to me, though.

Ultimately, it comes down to "I know what I like when I'm reading it." (Or writing it as the case may be.)

Excellent! Thank you.

I think I incorporate some of what you say but there’s a few things I can work on. The ‘why’ is probably not as defined as it could be.

 

[Bramblethorn]

Boring male characters are a big one. Often (especially in stories which focus on sex more than anything else) men write male characters as simple conduits for sex: they have no personality, their physicality is not described, they aren't assertive yet they still get the hot female lead to pine over them somehow.

This. There is no single answer to "what do women find attractive?" but a lot of stories don't make much effort to give any answer; the woman wants to fuck the guy merely because the story requires that he gets to fuck.

 

[Cagivagurl]

Women, like men are different. Every single human being on the planet has a different take on the world.

There is no one rule for all.

Women, who like to read erotica, are looking for something more than Mills and Boon. They are looking for arousal.
I believe that men and women do look for slightly different things in a sexually explicit story. Women want to feel emotions, not just about the strength of orgasm.
They want to be entertained as well. Women I believe need a better quality of writing than men. They need the story to grip them, to drag them in. They want to feel they are part of the story.
Perhaps depth is a description that might fit. Women still want the sex, but they want to feel the rollercoaster ride along the way. It's not all about the end...
The journey is just as important.

Just my thoughts on the differences.

Remember, this site is mostly male dominated. IMO about 80% or above are male.

Cagivagurl

 

[Bramblethorn]

If you're going to post to Romance, make sure you know what a Romance is.

This, too.

As an observation about romance in general rather than specifically the Literotica category: many readers of romance are highly genre-savvy, people who can read a story and immediately recognise and name tropes like, "enemies to lovers", "fake dating" and so on. If you're writing in the genre it's good to have that same familiarity. Not because these tropes are rules that must be slavishly obeyed, but because knowing how your readers will react to a given plot element helps handle it effectively.

For instance, Courtney Milan's "The Duke Who Didn't" has a bit where the male and female leads need to travel together for an errand, with a long enough journey that they'll need to sleep at an inn along the way. One of the best-known tropes of romance is "there was only one bed so they had to share". Milan understands that her readers will be thinking about this trope as soon as she mentions the inn. With that knowledge, she can make her story stand out and make those readers laugh by turning the trope on its head: what if there are too many beds?

 

[MillieDynamite]

As a rule, we like stories with many emotions being explored in the text. If love, hate, infatuation, and how we feel (emotionally) during sex are shown in the story, you'll do well. Have swings in the emotional spectrum to match the sentence and paragraph length swings. Give us rollercoasters. We love rollercoasters.

 

[Imakewetspots]

Women, like men are different. Every single human being on the planet has a different take on the world.

There is no one rule for all.

Women, who like to read erotica, are looking for something more than Mills and Boon. They are looking for arousal.
I believe that men and women do look for slightly different things in a sexually explicit story. Women want to feel emotions, not just about the strength of orgasm.
They want to be entertained as well. Women I believe need a better quality of writing than men. They need the story to grip them, to drag them in. They want to feel they are part of the story.
Perhaps depth is a description that might fit. Women still want the sex, but they want to feel the rollercoaster ride along the way. It's not all about the end...
The journey is just as important.

Just my thoughts on the differences.

Remember, this site is mostly male dominated. IMO about 80% or above are male.

Cagivagurl

Great tips. Thank you!

I would have to agree on the ratio of men to women. So when I get a ladies point of view, it’s very much appreciated.

Considering all the good advice I’ve received so far, it’s inspired me to try a completely new story. Far shorter than my usual 30k pieces and I’m attempting to create something from the woman’s perspective. More importantly, I’m shooting for a story that most women could probably relate to. Something fun yet believable.

We’ll see…I can’t improve unless I step outside my comfort zone and try things I haven’t tried before.

 

[MillieDynamite]

To elaborate on what I like, intelligent women who have bonds with other characters. Or smart women who have difficulty forming bonds with other characters. Please give us a journey of discovery. There can be a conniving bitch as the antagonist or a disgusting man who stands in her way. It needn't be a love story. We can have sex for the sake of sex, but still feel it emotionally. We don't care about penis size, breast size, or a perfect body (at least I don't). We care about the struggles, the heartache, the victory or defeat. We want women we can relate to who are strong in spirit and sometimes physically strong.

Pass a bowling ball through your penis and tell me how tough you are. If you can't do that, you have no idea how tough a woman is!!!

Putting soap box back in closet.

 

[gunhilltrain]

Oh boy, here we go....

Hah, I guess you mean that the question at the top of this thread has no one answer? I was finished with this on another thread when I got pulled back in.