Why make it unnecessarily complex? I'm just effing lonely

[Chris_KBHR]

I could attempt to mask this post with a bunch of bloated vocabulary about finding a deep psychological connection with someone or relating on an intellectual level to a kindred spirit.

But I think I'm just too downtrodden for all of that.

I'm lonely. There, I said it. I never thought life would get to this place, but here we are.

Early 40s, feeling invisible. Wondering where the heck my youth went. Wondering when the spark flickered out. Wondering if I just need to get used to this pervasive feeling of isolation.

I've tried this search a couple of times before, usually to no avail. One side loses interest or it just sort of fades away. And I suppose that makes sense. Circumstances change, feelings change, and we are all picky in our own way.

I guess some small part of me hasn't given up completely, because here I am, throwing one more message in a bottle out to sea.

If you happen to stumble across this bottle and, like me, you're feeling a bit lonesome, maybe think about dropping me a line. I'm not overly picky, but it'd be nice if you were active and a good conversationalist, and perhaps intellectually curious about the world in general. Be open minded, be curious.

Tell me you've read a book recently that didn't involve vampires. Tell me about a favorite hike. Tell me about an old pair of shoes you just cant throw away, and all the places they took you. Tell me about the craziest thing you ever did in college. Tell me...something.

 

[Michaelcat17]

Good luck

 

[OlderFitterWiser]

This is the time of life for wisdom, peace and enjoyment.

Never look into the past, you can't change it.

Today, the world can be at your feet, but you must believe that.

 

[TemptationTango]

Women have a confidence radar and yours is giving out a weak signal. Are you working out, doing any physical activity? You have to get those endorphins flowing, boost that confidence. Loneliness fosters depression & it's a deep pit. It's best to do a moderate lifestyle change to get yourself out of it.

 

[Chris_KBHR]

Women have a confidence radar and yours is giving out a weak signal. Are you working out, doing any physical activity? You have to get those endorphins flowing, boost that confidence. Loneliness fosters depression & it's a deep pit. It's best to do a moderate lifestyle change to get yourself out of it.

I run 150 miles per month. Exercise isn't my issue. I do appreciate you trying to troubleshoot though.

 

[saintcero]

Yep. Sometimes you need some simple human contact crazy as that sounds

 

[ToPleaseHim]

@Chris_KBHR I would encourage you to participate in the threads here, maybe in The Playground? There’s a community here and I think a lot of us find folks interacting in the threads more often than in the personals. I hope you find someone to connect with.

 

[Britva415]

I run 150 miles per month. Exercise isn't my issue. I do appreciate you trying to troubleshoot though.

What about the confidence part and the lifestyle change part and the getting out of depression part? Those were parts of the troubleshooting too.

 

[cdstefi]

I could attempt to mask this post with a bunch of bloated vocabulary about finding a deep psychological connection with someone or relating on an intellectual level to a kindred spirit.

But I think I'm just too downtrodden for all of that.

I'm lonely. There, I said it. I never thought life would get to this place, but here we are.

Early 40s, feeling invisible. Wondering where the heck my youth went. Wondering when the spark flickered out. Wondering if I just need to get used to this pervasive feeling of isolation.

I've tried this search a couple of times before, usually to no avail. One side loses interest or it just sort of fades away. And I suppose that makes sense. Circumstances change, feelings change, and we are all picky in our own way.

I guess some small part of me hasn't given up completely, because here I am, throwing one more message in a bottle out to sea.

If you happen to stumble across this bottle and, like me, you're feeling a bit lonesome, maybe think about dropping me a line. I'm not overly picky, but it'd be nice if you were active and a good conversationalist, and perhaps intellectually curious about the world in general. Be open minded, be curious.

Tell me you've read a book recently that didn't involve vampires. Tell me about a favorite hike. Tell me about an old pair of shoes you just cant throw away, and all the places they took you. Tell me about the craziest thing you ever did in college. Tell me...something.

Literotica isn't a place to make real in the flesh connections. It's literally built around impersonal writing, a lot of fantasy stuff and the forums reflect that.

You "might" just get lucky and hit it off with someone. I did with my wife who I met up with after chatting on fetlife. But you need to know that the vast majority of folks here aren't using it as a dating site. Because it isn't a dating site.

My advice would be use a dating site and go on in-person dates. And don't take it personally if the magnetism isn't there for the other person. Be nice, wish them well if a second date isn't on the cards. You will eventually get one if you have any redeeming qualities and then maybe you get the life partner you want.

 

[Canisborealis]

I'm 68. I've been where you are, and to a large extent, I'm still there. However, I've figured out a way to navigate life to maximize my experience, and world be happy to chat about these sorts of things, if you're interested.

 

[AllAmericanMale]

@Chris_KBHR I would encourage you to participate in the threads here, maybe in The Playground? There’s a community here and I think a lot of us find folks interacting in the threads more often than in the personals. I hope you find someone to connect with.

Good advice. Good luck Brother.

 

[elizaloo]

Just a comment from a woman who has been on Lit forever (it seems) and has had more chats than I could ever count (some of which have actually lead somewhere, others that have died due to....who knows?)...fill out your About section on your profile.

We women like to know, at a glance, if you're married (who cares, really, I am but it's irrelevant), if you have pets (always a good conversation starter), your birthday is nice because I'm into Numerology..etc...where you're located (in general if you're worried someone will show up on your doorstep) because if you're in AUS, that might affect who answers you.

I would (somewhat) disagree that Lit is not built around connections in the flesh as I'm married to one, fucked a few and met many over the years. That was in the past and NOW it seems to be more of a 'hit and run' sort of place (chat, ghost, whatever)....but there are some of us who still believe in 'how it used to be' and are happy to chat for a while to find out if there's a connection.

Not a fan of vampire books myself, hike as often as we can get out (been a crappy Southern winter) and never finished college; quit the first time after 6 weeks to marry my HS boyfriend and dropped the second time due to cancer.