sensualdaydreams
Experienced
- Joined
- Mar 4, 2012
- Posts
- 37
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I guess my first time, it happened in the backseat of a car in the middle of nowhere, I barely knew the guy, he was 12 years older than me, and he didn't care about me at all, obviously, since we didn't really know each other. He didn't care if it hurt for me, which it honestly really did, when I whimpered from the pain he put his hand tightly on my mouth and told me to shut the fuck up, stand-up guy hah. The only reasons I had sex with him were that I was tired of being a virgin, and because he wanted to, there wasn't any "deep" attraction there, of course sexual attraction, but mostly just horny-ness.
After he 'finished' he asked me where he should drop me off, but I felt so awful and used that I told him to just leave me there, big mistake haha, took me an hour and a half to get home, but I guess I just needed to be alone for a bit. So yeah, I wish I hadn't done that, but I guess it's not that big of a deal, what done is done.
Oh yeah, and this happened a little over a month ago.
(This sounds so lame, soap opera-like, and typical haha)
I guess my first time, it happened in the backseat of a car in the middle of nowhere, I barely knew the guy, he was 12 years older than me, and he didn't care about me at all, obviously, since we didn't really know each other. He didn't care if it hurt for me, which it honestly really did, when I whimpered from the pain he put his hand tightly on my mouth and told me to shut the fuck up, stand-up guy hah. The only reasons I had sex with him were that I was tired of being a virgin, and because he wanted to, there wasn't any "deep" attraction there, of course sexual attraction, but mostly just horny-ness.
After he 'finished' he asked me where he should drop me off, but I felt so awful and used that I told him to just leave me there, big mistake haha, took me an hour and a half to get home, but I guess I just needed to be alone for a bit. So yeah, I wish I hadn't done that, but I guess it's not that big of a deal, what done is done.
Oh yeah, and this happened a little over a month ago.
(This sounds so lame, soap opera-like, and typical haha)
Declining an invitation to petplay party. Always wondered what might have happened.
Well it is kind of my fault, since I knew what I was getting into, my friend warned me, but I went through with it anyway, but still, thanks for saying that. Yeah, I feel pretty disgusting everytime I think about it, and no, my friends and I don't really talk about 'feelings', and I don't have a therapist or anything like that, I'm just hoping that I'll stop looking at it as such a big deal, I guess I'm just sensitive.
(Assuming you were talking to me anyway, if you weren't just ignore this hah, and sorry for being such a downer haha)
I actually regret being too shy and afraid of rejection as a young man. I think I lost out on a lot of sexual experiences in my teens and early in college because I was too afraid to let my desires be known for fear of ridicule or rejection. It took me a lot of years to understand that a lot of girls/women (at least back then) were themselves afraid to speak up and be open about their needs, so we just lost out all around. Like they always said, youth is wasted on the young.
What's a petplay party?
For me, it was the fact that I was way too shy and feared rejection. Because of this, I was afraid to ask girls out or make a move when one presented itself. Looking back I can now see a number of situations where the girl was giving me all kinds of signals, but I was clueless at the time.
I regret not being more adventurous in my late teens/early 20s. There are quite a few things I have tried of late, that I wish I had done a lot earlier in life.