Things you NEVER want to hear while having sex

[TheRedChamber]

This is one of those threads that I'd love to contribute to, but I'll be damned if I'm looking through 120 pages to see if someone has already cracked the joke.

 

[StillStunned]

"Cut!"

 

[AngelWithAShotgun]

This is one of those threads that I'd love to contribute to, but I'll be damned if I'm looking through 120 pages to see if someone has already cracked the joke.

Oh no. Stop. That's a bit too long, isn't it?

 

[StillStunned]

This is one of those threads that I'd love to contribute to, but I'll be damned if I'm looking through 120 pages to see if someone has already cracked the joke.

You're not that anal?

 

[Polranny]

The pop of bubble gum

 

[kathyisgr65]

I gotta shit

 

[sixfoot4]

The distinctive rattle of his pickup coming up the drive.

 

[intim8]

"Ignore it, this ship is unsinkable."

 

[intim8]

"Smile, you're on Candid Camera!"

"Does this look infected?"

"LOL"

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

I'm not so sure Taco Bell was a good idea for lunch.

 

[hotoldrguy]

Is it in yet?

 

[JaySecrets]

You can leave me messy. My puppy likes cleaning me up.

 

[JaySecrets]

You can leave me messy. My brother likes cleaning me up.

 

[cunme69]

are you done yet

 

[JaySecrets]

"Hey, your brother taught me to do this thing with my tongue..."

 

[StillStunned]

"Oh! Oh! ... Oh."

 

[samhasstories]

"Hello? Sure, I can talk, I'm not busy."

 

[MillieDynamite]

Let's do a cheer while we cum, chlamydia, diarrhea, herpes, and HIV, sis ba boom.

 

[Zootonius]

"My doctor said he wants to see me about the test results!"

 

[Seadog777]

I'm not so sure Taco Bell was a good idea for lunch.

I made a woman shit my bed during orgasm.
She ended up going out my bathroom window and moving to another state.
I haven't spoken to her since, though I do see her brother from time to time.
Maybe she had Taco Bell beforehand.

 

[Seadog777]

At least you tried.

 

[Yesok1]

Yeah, you're mum tasted better!

 

[Kumquatqueen]

That large crack in the ceiling wasn't there when we came to bed, was it?

(duck under duvet as large chunk of plaster falls down)

 

[Tweedledude]

Are you done yet? Killed the next 40

 

[StillStunned]

That large crack in the ceiling wasn't there when we came to bed, was it?

(duck under duvet as large chunk of plaster falls down)

Finding a duck under the duvet during sex would also qualify as weird.